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Please allow me to introduce myself (and my first spice experiences) Options
 
Kitisha
#1 Posted : 10/8/2021 10:12:51 PM

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Last visit: 20-Jun-2022
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First of all i would like to say, that i did use a few curse words in my questionnaire, i hope its not a problem. When i was reading the "attitude", i took it as "dont insult anyone", but if NO curse words are allowed, then im sorry.

So, i come from shroomery. I love mushrooms, and not only the magic ones, but all mushrooms. Im a mycophile. I have a lot of love for other living things too - bugs, vegetables, fermenting bacteria and so on. So that is the kind of person i am. English is also my second language, so im sorry for my awkward wording and such. Im not very into drugs anymore, i take mushrooms maybe 1-2 a year and thats pretty much it. Buut...

Recently i managed to extract some spice (with the help of some amazing people on shroomery) and had my first few experiences with it, which fascinated me a lot. I didnt manage to break through, so i made a second thread on shroomery. I regret doing it, because it turned into a... um... poo-show? Egos clashed. A few members on there recommended this site (Fridge being one of them, hi dude!), so here i am.

I think i will chronologically summarize my dmt experiences now. I welcome ANY feedback, since im very new to this and im still trying to make sense of dmt. I already posted all these reports (except the last one, which happened today) on shroomery, so if you already read it by chance, then skip it (although i did rewrite this for it to feel more coherent)

1. wetting my toes (about 3 weeks ago)
I made some enhanced leaf and aimed for about 15-25mg. I loaded it into my old little bubbler bong (i stopped smoking weed like 4 years ago). My hands were shaking and heart was beating fast. I tried to hold it as long as possible, but i couldnt, because i felt like i was drowning and had to gasp for air. I was having a small panic attack. After i exhaled, i laid down and observed what was happening to me. There was spacial distortion and everything was vibrating. My thoughts were introspective and pleasant. There was a very strange feeling in my body, but i could not focus on that very well, because of the panic attack going on. I remember listening to interlude by my sleeping karma, which was extremely trippy, for a lack of a better word. After i fully came back, i felt quite silly for panicking so much, but it was a great first experience

2. all eating darkness (about 2 weeks ago)
2a.
I loaded equivalent of 30mg of enhanced leaf into my old bong. After i took the hit, i felt sharp spike in blood pressure and like i was about to faint. My vision started vibrating and i felt like drowning again. My whole body was "tingling" and i had this vertigo-like feeling. I genuinely felt like i was about to pass out, so i set my bong aside and laid down. I watched this purple mandala above my bed shifting and morphing. I was saying to myself "oh shit, here we go", but the effects only declined from there. At first, i was glad it wasnt more intense, but then the worm of dissatisfaction started gnawing at me.
2b.
I loaded the rest of my enhanced leaf, which along with the unsmoked remnants of my first attempt could have been between 50-60mg. I stretched a bit and took some deep breaths to quell the anxiety. I took the first hit and held it, looking around for visuals. Then i felt the blood pressure starting to spike again. I took a second hit and watched my hands holding the bong and the smoking cherry. Vision was starting to vibrate and i found myself taking panicked, sharp breaths, because i again felt like drowning. Then i looked into the room and locked eyes with this guy, who used to belong to my father.

Everything around him started warping, vibrating and turned green/yellow (its always these colors for me). Then i could no longer make out objects. Im not sure if i then took another hit. The next thing i remember was me half sitting-half laying on my bed. Im not sure if i opened my eyes or projected myself in my mind, but everything around me was black and my body was barely visible, and glowing a soft blue glow. I moved myself into a more comfortable position somehow.
At this point, i was not really comprehending where i am or what is happening to me. I was scared and i remember wishing this would end. There was a thought "what if this will last forever", but then i remembered im on dmt and it has a glorious duration of only a couple of minutes, which calmed me down. I heard my music from a distance and there were other sounds, a bit like humming voices. During all this i was watching this closed eye visual, which looked a bit like this, but more symmetric and not as shitty. See those grooves on the outer edges? I drew 3, but there was like 10, so it was more of a grid pattern. The background was black, and the pattern was flowing in soft colors.

The thing that surprised me about this experience was the darkness. I was expecting colorful kaleidoscopic imagery, not a black void. I dont regret this experience at all, im glad i did it.

3. Vaporizing session (a week ago)
I made the machine, with the purpose of vaporizing dmt. I was called out for making a crack pipe on shroomery, but it still provided a very interesting experience. On this day i smoked dmt 4-5 times in a row. First i aimed for 30mg, later for 50mg, tho i must say i was probably burning it a bit. I dont remember much from this experience, because it was this long, psychedelic meditation and i was loosing the track of my thoughts. I wanted to break through on this day, but that wasnt happening. I made a thread on shroomery about this experience and my trouble breaking through, and that turned into a big poo-show. Its still going if you want to take a peek. The keyword would be "clueless". I can provide a link if you want, but you should be able to find it pretty easily. Anyway, some people recommended i try layering, saying they have the best results with it, which brings us to:

4. The encrypted pile of puke (an hour ago, lol)
So, as the name suggests, this was not the best of experiences, but i have no regrets, haha. I loaded a bit of tagetes lucida into my bong, sprinkled in some dmt (maybe 30mg?) and added a bit more tagetes lucida on top. I set everything up, took some deep breaths to calm myself down and took the hit. I cleared the whole bowl in one hit. I immediately started to feel the spice kicking in. I was thinking to myself "and here we go"... but then i exhaled. The smoke irritated my throat and i half exhaled, half coughed. Just as everything was turning blurry and patterns started emerging, i felt a ball in my throat. I dont know if i imagined it, or i actually coughed up something vile. I tried to swallow it, but that was not happening. I tried to cough it out completely, but that only made things worse. I started panicking about the possibility that i will choke and die, haha. I stood up, everything extremely was blurry, and i leaned forward. I knew what was about to happen only a split second before i projectile vomited all over my floor. It got onto my pants, socks, under the table... it was actually impressive how big the puddle was. I immediately felt better and watched the pile of puke in awe, because it was swirling around and turning into this elaborate mandala. I could almost make out some unreadable, encrypted letters in there. It felt like it was trying to tell me something, haha. Then i puked again, making the already large and impressive puddle even larger and more impressive. The shape completely changed and that amazed me.
I then sat down on my bed, contemplating my life choices and realized, that im not going anywhere right now. So i got up and started cleaning up the puke. What was very strange was that as soon as i told myself im not going to continue, i felt myself becoming sober very quickly. After about 5 minutes from taking the hit, i was pretty much all back, only the tiniest amount of visuals remained. That seems bizzare to me.


Anyway, thats that, my experiences with dmt so far. Im glad i joined this community, because from what i see so far, it is a good one. I have to say that the homepage impressed me a lot. Whoever made it did a great job! So, if anyone has anything to say, dont be a stranger, i would love to hear some feed back and get to know some of you.

Everyone have a great day! Or night, depending on where you are from. Big grin




 

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Kitisha
#2 Posted : 10/8/2021 10:17:27 PM

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I cant figure out how to attach images, so here are the links:

With whom i locked eyes:
https://ibb.co/p1BtQRw

The grid pattern:
https://ibb.co/ZHZtZDP
 
Vangoghdream
#3 Posted : 10/9/2021 2:57:04 AM
WiFfLe In a WaFfLe BoX


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Hyper-dimensional technicolor purging!

Far out man! Well... smoalk some moar! Sounds like you skimming the surface of a deep ocean. Glad to hear that these experiences are not dissuading you from exploring further.

Welcome to the weird!

Shocked
 
Fridge
#4 Posted : 10/9/2021 8:39:53 AM

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Hey and welcome Kitisha Big grin, I am glad you made it here!
...no need to worry...
 
Kitisha
#5 Posted : 10/9/2021 9:46:16 AM

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Vangoghdream wrote:
Hyper-dimensional technicolor purging!

Far out man! Well... smoalk some moar! Sounds like you skimming the surface of a deep ocean. Glad to hear that these experiences are not dissuading you from exploring further.

Welcome to the weird!

Shocked

Yeah man, im honestly surprised they didnt put me off, especially the one from yesterday. There is this strange thing happening to me, which i did not observe with any psychedelic. I always feel pretty good after its over. Back in the day when i used to do lsd and mdma, or mushrooms more recently, i always told myself afterwards "im good for a loong time". That isnt there with dmt, i always feel almost refreshed. Knock on wood, i dont want this to change.

Fridge wrote:
Hey and welcome Kitisha Big grin, I am glad you made it here!

Hey man, whats up? Very happy
 
roninsina
#6 Posted : 10/10/2021 2:05:33 AM

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Welcome Kitisha!

I have to agree, that’s a pretty good puke story. It’s almost a shame you didn’t add that to the poo-show over at shroomery. That would have really stirred the pot, lol.

I’m guessing most of you’re issues will disappear as you develop a bit more technique. I’m a little surprised the machine didn’t help more, but I guess folks just gotta purge sometimes.

That’s a great shot of Crowley by the way.
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost

 
null24
#7 Posted : 10/10/2021 4:53:40 AM

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Ah, a young Crowley... Thumbs up
Quote:
It felt like it was trying to tell me something, haha. Then i puked again, making the already large and impressive puddle even larger and more impressive. The shape completely changed and that amazed me.
I then sat down on my bed, contemplating my life choices and realized, that im not going anywhere right now. So i got up and started cleaning up the puke.

In Jim DeKorne's Psychedelic Shamanism, he wrote something about his ayahuasca purge telling him that he is full of S#!t, sounds like the fractalized vomitdala was urging a similar realization. It's a reminder we all need every now and then...

Welcome. I post in exactly one thread in one sub on the shroomery with annual regularity. I'm still a little miffed about the response I got a year or three ago for explaining why it might be better to use the term "raid" instead of diluting the impact of a word meaning sexual violence when talking about people, uh, raiding your patch. But wtvr, I just put my first post this season into the PNW thread over there today. You should dig it here, it's a def diff vibe.
Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon
*γνῶθι σεαυτόν*
 
Kitisha
#8 Posted : 10/10/2021 12:21:13 PM

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roninsina wrote:
Welcome Kitisha!

I have to agree, that’s a pretty good puke story. It’s almost a shame you didn’t add that to the poo-show over at shroomery. That would have really stirred the pot, lol.

I’m guessing most of you’re issues will disappear as you develop a bit more technique. I’m a little surprised the machine didn’t help more, but I guess folks just gotta purge sometimes.

That’s a great shot of Crowley by the way.


Nah man, i don't want to participate in the thread anymore. I have been trying to talk them down, but they want to be petty to each other. Yeah, i hope i will manage to get a little deeper. I think it would have happened already, if I didn't puke, haha. And yeah, what i like about that picture is him being so serious, while being in these ridiculous circumstances. I'm not his "follower", but i find him and the events around him super interesting!


 
Kitisha
#9 Posted : 10/10/2021 12:30:41 PM

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null24 wrote:
Ah, a young Crowley... Thumbs up
Quote:
It felt like it was trying to tell me something, haha. Then i puked again, making the already large and impressive puddle even larger and more impressive. The shape completely changed and that amazed me.
I then sat down on my bed, contemplating my life choices and realized, that im not going anywhere right now. So i got up and started cleaning up the puke.

In Jim DeKorne's Psychedelic Shamanism, he wrote something about his ayahuasca purge telling him that he is full of S#!t, sounds like the fractalized vomitdala was urging a similar realization. It's a reminder we all need every now and then...

Welcome. I post in exactly one thread in one sub on the shroomery with annual regularity. I'm still a little miffed about the response I got a year or three ago for explaining why it might be better to use the term "raid" instead of diluting the impact of a word meaning sexual violence when talking about people, uh, raiding your patch. But wtvr, I just put my first post this season into the PNW thread over there today. You should dig it here, it's a def diff vibe.



Man, that's the first thing that popped in my mind, even during the experience. Maybe I needed to purge. But i honestly don't think that was the case. There were no "bad" feelings related to the puking what so ever. I believe it was just an accident, no deeper meaning, haha. I also don't think that I'm too full of shit, i believe myself to be pretty honest.

Yeah, from what I see, this place definitely has a different vibe than shroomery!
 
null24
#10 Posted : 10/10/2021 3:45:46 PM

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Kitisha wrote:



Man, that's the first thing that popped in my mind, even during the experience. Maybe I needed to purge. But i honestly don't think that was the case. There were no "bad" feelings related to the puking what so ever. I believe it was just an accident, no deeper meaning, haha. I also don't think that I'm too full of shit, i believe myself to be pretty honest.


Ah, I wasn't saying that you aren't honest, but was responding to your comment about life choices. Thumbs up
Sine experientia nihil sufficienter sciri potest -Roger Bacon
*γνῶθι σεαυτόν*
 
Kitisha
#11 Posted : 10/10/2021 4:06:05 PM

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null24 wrote:
Kitisha wrote:



Man, that's the first thing that popped in my mind, even during the experience. Maybe I needed to purge. But i honestly don't think that was the case. There were no "bad" feelings related to the puking what so ever. I believe it was just an accident, no deeper meaning, haha. I also don't think that I'm too full of shit, i believe myself to be pretty honest.


Ah, I wasn't saying that you aren't honest, but was responding to your comment about life choices. Thumbs up



Ooh, alright, haha. That was more of a joke, since the situation was pretty ridiculous at that point. You know, tripping balls with a huge puddle of vomit before you... Laughing
 
roninsina
#12 Posted : 10/10/2021 4:08:22 PM

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Yep, and I didn’t really want you to keep engaging with something that had gotten out of hand over at shroomery, I was just trying to make a joke about some of the petty attitudes there. I really feel for the more serious members and mods over there - that place is a real treasure house of information and it too often gets buried under ego battles.

And I’m not exactly a disciple of Crowley either. I have really enjoyed some of his works but it’s a bit tainted by how some people described how he treated people.
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost

 
Kitisha
#13 Posted : 10/11/2021 5:41:51 PM

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Yeah, i agree. I still love the site tho, majority of people are very nice. About crowley i know the general things, but of his works i only half-read the evocation of bartzabel. What works of his did you enjoy?
 
roninsina
#14 Posted : 10/11/2021 7:52:51 PM

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Well, really just mostly the crowd he rolled with. When I was a much younger man (maybe thirty to forty years ago) I found all the hermetic stuff totally fascinating. Read through the Golden Dawn stuff, enjoyed the Egyptian stuff, though can’t attribute the Egyptian Book of the Dead to Crowley - only my interest in it

Just have one thing of his on the shelf still, The Pathworkings of Aliester Crowley. It was a gift from my mother, at my request. I mostly still have it because I still find it quite comical that I got my very conventionally Catholic mother to buy it for me. If you don’t look over it too closely, it could easily be confused with a treatise on Christianity or some obscure psalms.
Laughing

Edit: Blavatsky is my girl, though.
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost

 
Kitisha
#15 Posted : 10/11/2021 11:28:51 PM

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I have been wanting to get into hermetism for some time now, i should check it out. Do you by chance know graham hancocks books? Seems like you could be into that.

Man, we have quite an age difference! Do the users here generally tend to be a bit older? That might be the reason this place seems more chill then shroomery, since i feel like there may be some actual kids over there.
 
roninsina
#16 Posted : 10/11/2021 11:56:12 PM

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Graham Hancock is a bit off my radar - I’ve only seen a couple of videos and seen some Nexians debating about his merits here on the forum. But I’d recommend any old books on magic or religion you can get your hands on. I think it helps to reach a little deeper into these experiences, if you can separate the wheat from the chaff.

I don’t think there’s any particular age group or professional leanings here. Some have more time to post because of their circumstances and some of more to say because of theirs. I think most of us have had some moments that put this human experience into perspective and we all just want to help each other the best we can. There’s not a lot of room for ill intent and ego games, we chop the wood and carry the water.
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost

 
Kitisha
#17 Posted : 10/12/2021 12:14:04 AM

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I know one book cant be enough, but if you had to recommend one that would help me reach deeper, what would it be? I think i will attempt to break through on wednesday or thursday, since i should have a day off from work.

What you are saying about chopping wood and carrying the water is beautiful. I recently had a realization about just how much merit is in helping others anonymously like this. It was when people were helping me with my first extraction, especially northerner. I see he is active here on nexus too.
 
Kitisha
#18 Posted : 10/12/2021 12:16:45 AM

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*and hancock i highly recommend Very happy
 
roninsina
#19 Posted : 10/12/2021 12:47:58 AM

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I think Nick Sands still has a lot of credibility. The Psychedelic Experience is available as a free pdf on many sites.
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
while the secret sits in the middle and knows." Robert Frost

 
Voidmatrix
#20 Posted : 10/12/2021 1:15:49 AM

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Warm welcome my friend. Wonderful introduction.

DMT is really on it's own level imo. And often times you may come back with more questions that answers (like me relative to last night's changa journey).

Your story is exactly why I always have a trashcan near Smile

It always has something new to show you. Part of what prevents it from getting old.

Again, welcome. We're happy to have you.

One love
What if the "truth" is: the "truth" is indescernible/unknowable/nonexistent? Then the closest we get is through being true to and with ourselves.


Know thyself, nothing in excess, certainty brings insanity- Delphic Maxims

DMT always has something new to show you Twisted Evil

Question everything... including questioning everything... There's so much I could be wrong about and have no idea...
All posts and supposed experiences are from an imaginary interdimensional being. This being has the proclivity and compulsion for delving in depths it shouldn't. Posts should be taken with a grain of salt. 👽
 
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