A 10yr Summary of my three hardest DMT Trips.
Background:
I am a 155lb male who is two classes away from an Associates as a Chemistry Technician. Life experiences with mental disorders (internal and external) and learning about various extraction teks is what has brought me to this field.
It began as a group of five friends in high school researching new drugs on erowid then sourcing for a weekend trip. I guess you could say I went overboard in the following years. As my friends began their careers and new lifes. I was kept escaping in drugs left baffled by the reality of my relationship years past. I was soon to find out my girlfriend of the past had Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). Experiencing the switching and apparitions from an outside perspective awakened me to a bigger truth than I was raised to believe. I believe tripping can assist in rewiring one’s synapses. Insanity begets sanity.
At first I held my trips as sacred but I soon lost my grasp and took whatever I could get my hands on. What eventually led to a deep depression and hppd derailed me from any cares as I tried to drink and trip my troubles away. I dropped out of college and left my family to live cross country. To give an idea I was drinking a half gal of vodka every day for over a week at the height of it. I began to lose my grip on reality unsure if my thoughts were of real experience or of imagined hypotheses of my days events as I was blacking out so much I began to have time lapse with weeks feeling like months and of months feeling like a week. I was holding jobs for an average of six months each. Always a new start and a lonely one at that. I am not just a drunk I have had rough patches but I enjoy educating myself with books and slacklining in my free time. Oliver Sacks is one of my favorite authors!
Then I really lost it when I was diagnosed with a degenerative disease MMN. After two years of losing the use of my right and dominant hand. I had to deal with the fact that I was slowly going to wither away. After the loss of my dream job growing cannabis. I hit rock bottom. I felt like I always lived my life to please others and this job was a sorta way of sticking it to my authoritative parents.
After a move back home to live with family. Things finally patched up. Finally, I had neck surgery. Since my diagnosis is no more and I am able to at least write again. I slowly began to assimilate back into familiarity after a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Due to my experiences I often think of life as mind in mind and I have a fascination with MPD to thank for that. Anyways, this led me to what was my hardest drugless trip yet (60 days of borderline lucidity) all while on a delayed sentence in our judicial system. (I was tackled off my bicycle by a cop that was called to talk me out of driving my car. When he tackled me he dislocated his shoulder and charged me with felony assault.) This cost me a job driving at FedEx and working with monkeys in an Investigational New Drug (IND) facility. A side note for IND research is I find the animals being locked into small cages and not being able to roam free skews results due to the stress experienced.
To elaborate, I was derailed from my interest in chemistry until just recently. Having the confidence to reassociate with society. Now I am 29yr old and this is my first trip report.
As far as I can tell there are four types of psychonaughting categories.
Delusion - as experienced with diphenhydramine where one does not realize that the hallucinations are out of the norm
Expansion - a gain of divine knowledge or unity as such is the csse with DMT
Implosion - forgetting ones memories, a sense of melting as experienced with salvia
Hallucinations - transparencies of entities etc over the known universe.
DMT:
My most recent trip was this morning and that is my incentive for writing this report as I finally remember my death. I always used to wonder what it meant when people say they died on psychedelics. This morning I had a glimpse of heaven.
A few other things to summarize after over 300 trips with the substance:
Sometimes a 30 mg trip is much stronger than a 60 mg trip.
The more one trips the more they retain and the stronger the trips unveil.
Often nothing happens at all. I am curious about this as my method is always the same and I do not believe I am just burning the substance. (I prefer to make a sandwich between leaf or rub the leaf against glass as is done when cleaning the extraction apparatus)
I just recently found out and concur that evaporating dmt is stronger than freeze precipitate dmt because it contains n,n dmt oxide, n,n dmt, and nmt. I believe the nmt is what is responsible for the body bliss often experienced that washes away anxiety. With freeze precipitate (snowflake n,n dmt) this does not occur as often.
Has anyone thrown up a burp? This has occurred to me on several occasions after smoking.
I have only experienced alien language twice and this was with a combination of propylhexedrine (500 mg) and DMT (40 mg) It appears as a scroll after fixating on an unraveling hallucination. I wonder if this is the Akashic records.
It is often reported that one hears a ringing before blasting off. This has only occurred on my strongest breakthrough that I will describe below. Several times I have lost grasp on any familiar surroundings but only once has there been a vibrating sound.
I like referring to them as entities. They have many gifts, tricks, and revelations to share.
Kinda embarrassing but I often watch porn while tripping with dimitri. If timed right it is so euphoric but just as well oftentimes it is scary as the models morph according to desire or fear. (What scared me this morning is my dick fell off in my hand prior to a disembodied heaven experience.)
DMT 80mg aged orange n,n dmt oxide (age 19):
Sitting on my sleeping bag on top of a sand dune at dusk, I pack a chubbler for two. Incidentally I ripped it all in one hit. I stopped tripping on dmt for four years after this experience as beforehand I thought I had a grasp on hyperspace. Little did I know other realms exist in entirety not just as hallucination plastered over one's surroundings. I am talking about tangible open eye visuals with no recollection of reality as it was once known. Anyways, the sound vibrates as I hear my portable speaker fade into a vibrating sound as if propelled bursting through a membrane. As a kaleidoscopic wormhole envelopes me I am propelled through. Then I see a sphere in front of me as it rapidly increases in size to that of a planet. In an instant I was inside the center of this labyrinth sphere in a room with no doors or windows, just a shadow figure next to me. I look down and see my astral body. Panting heavily, the shadow entity hands me what looks like a shadow pizza roller haha. I accepted this and instantaneously was sucked through the labyrinths of walls and ceilings until I found myself laying on a conveyor belt in some factory with this eight foot tall entity operating on me. To describe this it was as if he was switching my organs out with those of other people. Briefly I became space with not even an astral body to be found. I was infinite blackness. I’ve never seen this light so many people report. My unity was a dark and blissful one. Gradually the music fades back in as I asked my friend how long I was out. He replied 15 minutes.
DMT this morning, unknown amount (estimate 30 mg) scrapping the apporats from evaporated dmt (age 29):
I was jacking off as my dick fell into my hand. Here I am sitting dickless in awe of what has just happened. Then it hits me as I struggle to sit upright, my surroundings completely disappear and I am folded and plopped into geometric shapes like mr. potato head. I am no longer in my house or any relevant place. I strive to remember what my room looks like as images fade in and out of familiar objects. There was no way to orient myself as I stood up and tumbled on to the faint image of my mattress. This engulfs me as I finally understand what heaven could be. High dose DMT should be given to patients near death to ease their fear of the unknown. I am certain there is more to life after death.
DMT 45 mg freeze precipitate (age 24):
I was supper anxious prior to this trip as it was the first time I had smoked dmt in four years. Pushing through the anxiety I decide to just go with it. I watch in awe as my bed and couch flip through every variation of couch and bed at rapid speed I had ever witnessed. The walls turned deep green as the couch and bed's unfamiliar structure sat in front of me. I wish I would have gotten up and touched one of them at this point. But I failed to as my body had faded into a whirlwind. I thought this is it never again but soon I saw the logo on my pants and my deformed right hand and realized I was okay. I had been through this before (probably during a blackout). I relaxed as the tornado settled and I looked behind me to see my kitchen intact as remembered.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”
-Seneca
“Hope is nature's veil for hiding true nakedness.”
-Alfred Nobel