From my experience, mushrooms (or any really valuable mind changing substance) gives you not what you want, but more what you need.

And it is totally common to think that what you've got is not what you need.

Sometimes is better not to use any substance and change your life in one way or other instead.

If you still trying to take some substance, the experience can become chaotic, unpleasant, tiring, boring or confusing.
There are limits of your growth and you can not break them.