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Tmcconnell
#1 Posted : 8/10/2019 9:28:09 PM
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Last visit: 06-Nov-2020
Hello everyone,

I have been browsing this forum for some time now and have had a lifetime of interest in psychedelia and have taken many introspective journeys.

I am glad to have finally joined and hope to contribute to this community as much as I can.
 

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GRVDIGR
#2 Posted : 8/11/2019 1:17:25 AM

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Welcome friend!
 
Ferrum
#3 Posted : 8/11/2019 5:47:52 AM

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Welcome .share any experience with everyone that you want . I for one love the stories
 
Tmcconnell
#4 Posted : 8/14/2019 11:59:12 PM
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I've actually just recently, as of three weeks ago, started exploring certain entheogenic plants again. I had used large amounts of many different substances irresponsibly in my late teens and early twenties and have taken a 7 year hiatus from everything but marijuana and on a few instances an occasional hard unnatural chemical I shouldn't have partook in.

Deciding it was time to explore my own mind some more, I spent a couple months researching, purchasing and reading reports of experiences by different people. Finally I pulled the trigger and ordered some Shredded yellow caapi and P. virids leaves. Two weeks later they arrived and a following few weeks I waited until I was certain enough my mind was in the right place. For the last about year or so I've been feeling like my life is fairly insignificant.

On Friday night, about three weeks ago I started my Ayahuasca brew. I wanted to keep it as traditional as I could with respect to the tribes that take it seriously so I followed the traditional brewing instructions as best I could with the exception of splitting up my caapi and chacruna brews. I used 75g shredded yellow caapi and 75g p. virids leaves.

I paid close attention to the 9 total hours of brewing and treated both plants as I would a welcomed guest in my home. Once it was finished and prior to brewing I tried to set my expectations of my first ayahuasca experience and explained them in great depth to both brews. I have pretty open minded roommates and Im glad I do because anyone else may have considered me crazy.

I started with drinking the entire caapi brew reduced down to 250ml. 15 minutes later and I drank the chacruna brew. My only intentions going into this journey was to get a feeling for what the medicine can and does do. I explained to it that I want to leave all of my preconceptions behind, and experience it as it wants me to without trying to force through any deep psychological work I think I may need.

Not much longer after I drank the chacruna brew I had a total lapse of short term memory. All my mind could focus on was the here and now. And trying to walk too! My motor skills were seriously diminished. My roommate told me after the fact that he was having a conversation with me at the kitchen table and I keep falling over hitting my head on the table and trying to converse with him. He mentioned anything I said had nothing to do with the conversation "we" were having. I think his primary concern was my safety so he was trying to do what he could to ensure I was still alive.

I remember laying in bed for an unknown period of time during the come up thinking I was about to die. I would liken that feeling to an experience I had when I was younger and had ingested 7g of cubensis, I think it was the nausea. My mind kept telling me this would be my last day on this planet, when I closed my eyes I would see array of spinning wheels(like colorful game show wheels) one staggered on top of another in an infinite array with different symbols on every other pie slice and a beautifully decorated question mark in between each unique symbol. When I would open my eyes they would faintly become my walls but the interior of my room was all still there.

My mind told me I couldn't escape the reality I had found myself in which was confined to my room. I kept getting up and down to reposition my fan because I was sweating bullets and didn't want my physical self to expire being that hot. I wanted to be comfortable. My consciousness was watching my physical body perform this repeating cycle of getting up and changing the position of the fan, checking the time and then laying back down. I can only describe it as my mind and soul sitting in my chair watching my physical self from across the room.

After an unknown amount of time the wheels all stopped on a question mark slice and I experienced an overwhelming feeling of nausea. I got up, went outside, and puked. All that came out looked bright red to me and it looked as though my heart was in the bush. I thought I had lost about a quart or two of blood and definitely didn't have a heart anymore. It was an amazing feeling from then on and so very liberating.

From that point forward the visuals were still strong and I was in and out of consciousness for a few hours but coherent enough to use the restroom, consume water, smoke a cigarette and have short one line conversations with my roommate and his wife.

Overall it was quite an amazing experience and I intend on doing it again when the time is right. I think next time I will try 50g each caapi and chacruna.
I have spent quite some time thinking about where my consciousness went and it did dig up some things that were bothering me.

Please excuse the running on of some of my paragraphs. I am writing this now after having taken .5ml therapeutic grade nutmeg oil.
 
WarpedDimension
#5 Posted : 8/15/2019 3:13:15 AM

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Tmcconnell wrote:
I can only describe it as my mind and soul sitting in my chair watching my physical self from across the room.


I can relate to this very much! This feeling or awareness woke me up to something quite beautiful! Thanks for sharing! I find it very refreshing and validating when I hear others have had similar experiences.

Welcome to the Nexus!!

Thumbs up
β€œSilence is a source of Great Strength.” ~Lao Tzu
 
Tmcconnell
#6 Posted : 8/16/2019 5:11:20 AM
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Thank you for the kind welcome.
 
 
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