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Yugambeh
#1 Posted : 7/22/2019 1:15:07 PM

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Last visit: 28-Sep-2021
Location: Alpha Centauri Cb


I’m in my forties and I found this site yesterday when I started to do research about DMT as this substance crossed my path a couple of days ago.

I’ve lived in 3 different countries and I am planning to move abroad again in a couple of years time. I love to experience and explore different cultures and people. I also prefer a warmer climate as it is nicer for my sore and stiff muscles and joints.

I’ve mostly worked in health care since I left school in 1996, and the last 4 years in mental health, but I am also a personal trainer and I’ve coached fitness and bodybuilding athletes on a national level.

On my free time I like to cook, spend time in nature, physical exercise, and my big passion in life is playing 2-row diatonic accordion.

I’m very careful with what I put in my body and I do a lot of research before I try something new, I always start with the lowest dose recommended or lower as everyone responds differently to substances.

I’ve tried cannabis ( mostly for pain management and sleep) 2 LSD journeys, and 1 very low dose mushroom journey.

Today I’m going to do my third LSD journey, the first time I used this substance was 3 months ago. I was introduced to it by a friend who offered to be a guide during my journey and after many weeks of research I decided to go ahead and try 1/2 a blotter, 1 blotter was said to be 300mcg (which I doubt).

I divided the journey in 3 days.

Day 1: I reflected a lot over my current situation, I’ve moved countries a lot the last 10 years which has made me a stronger person, but during this time I’ve also started to question the purpose of life and the purpose of human beings.

I’ve seen a lot of sad things travelling the world working in health care and with mental health patients, and also how human beings are treating the earth, themselves and other fellow humans in general and this has affected me A LOT! I’ve felt so lost for many years looking for something, searching, trying to understand things in life, trying to find purpose for us and looking for likeminded. I spent a lot of time in the nature this day as I live in a smaller city close to lakes and large forest areas.

Day 2: I did not get much sleep this night as I was scared and excited, and I also have a lot of injuries from working in the health care for many years and moving/lifting heavy patients, as back in the days we didn’t have any lifts or straps helping us with manual handling so my sleep is not very good.

I did a morning shift that day and I had a day off the day after so I had time to recover and reflect.
My sitter and guide was late home in the evening so I took the 1/2 blotter at 7pm, at around 8:30 things started to happen, the walls started to glow, shades became more present and I felt a rush of happiness. It was a lovely evening with sunshine and the sun is up a long time this far up north, I took my glasses off and I could still se details and I could even make out details far away. Colours started to be more profound and I started to lough at how the brain and the substance could make such wonderful things happen.

Around 9pm and really took a grip on me and wonderful colours and shapes was taking form in front of me.

At 9:30am my sitter asked me if some friends could come over, I said no as I felt I wanted to experience this journey alone with my sitter. After 10-20 the doorbell went off and 2 of his friend arrived, the whole room just went dark for me, although it was sunshine outside and the room was bright, it was like someone turned a dimmer. I had to focus 100% to stay calm and after 10 minutes I decided to walk home ( I live 3 min down the road) it was the longest walk I’ve ever done in my whole life. Everyone in the whole city had decided to gather and be around me Smile. At the end bit before my house it is a long stretch with trees on each side, that stretch just got longer as I was looking at it, it grew longer as I was walking down the road and the trees was growing taller and was leaning towards me. I stopped, gathered my thoughts and laughed a little about how the brain played me tricks, and then I finally got home after “hours” of walking and continued my journey at home with some nice music and fruit to eat. I think I went to sleep around 4-5am.

Day 3: I had a great sleep, I wasn’t bothered by my injuries and my pain during the night and everything was like shimmering around me, I spent a lot of time in the nature this day reflecting on my journey, and I felt different, sort of newborn. The next couple of days I changed a lot of things in my life, how to approach things and I put more focus on myself and my family, I never regret the decision to try this substance.


My second journey I took 1 blotter from the same batch.

I went to visit an old friend that has had problems with sleep and to much work for a long time and we discussed if LSD could guide him to make healthier choices regarding work, and also help him sleep better.

I went there on the train which went through a really nice part of the country so I spent the whole journey reflecting and enjoying the scenery.

When I arrived to my friend we sat down for a long chat as we’ve not seen each other since I moved abroad 2011, we played some accordion as he used to be my accordion teacher and at 2pm we decided to take 1 blotter each. My friend was very sceptical that the LSD would have any effect on him, he said that he is very resilient to substances. We sat in the kitchen and talked about good old times and we had a good laugh, and after a while he just sat straight up and said “wow” something is happening. When the LSD peaked for us we just laughed and talked about life in general. This journey was very different from my first one, I was in a very good mood, I was laughing and everything was very bright and light. It’s amazing how different settings and companies can have an impact how the LSD works.

It was during my second LSD journey I could start to to work on my personal growth more, I have some small and big hang ups from episodes in my life which is and has been bothering me. I’m going to write about something that I’ve not dealt with at all, which the LSD helped me to deal with and overcome.

I lost a child just before birth in 2012 and it was first during my second LSD journey that I’ve realised I’ve not mourned my little Gavin, I’ve not cried, I’ve pushed the thoughts away when they’ve entered my head and I thought I was ok about it. I could not become “weak” and cry and mourn when it happened as I had to be there for my wife and daughter as we’ve just moved to a new country with a completely different culture.

The doctor said that his spirit was strong but his body was weak, his ashes was spread on an old Aboriginal hunting ground.

We had another boy 1 year later who I believe has both spirits in a very strong body.

However, halfway through the peak I felt like lying down in my bed and just gather my thoughts and without any warning I revisited the whole episode when we sat in the assessment room and the doctor told us that they could not find the hearth beat. And I lay there in the bed and just let my emotions take over, I didn’t fight my emotion I just let them “guide” me and I cried and cried, it felt like forever and I went through pain, sadness, remorse and finally I felt some kind of resolution. It was like a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders. It was my strongest emotional experience I’ve ever had and I’m really happy that I did decide to try LSD as it changed my life and how I deal and perceive things now.

Tonight I’m going to take 1.5 blotter from the same batch and smoke som organic Passion flower. I will report my journey later this weekend.

Safe journeys my fellow travelers.

/Y
I am like a white cloud with no destination, I place goals to trick myself in believing I have somewhere to arrive, everything is a successful goal when I realise I have already arrived.
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
FranLover
#2 Posted : 8/4/2019 10:19:14 AM

Long live the world in peace, prosperity, and freedom from suffering


Posts: 1299
Joined: 24-Sep-2018
Last visit: 07-Apr-2020
Location: I see you Mara
wow, you're a real cool good guy I can tell😊 amazing presentation and trip reports. Safe journeys to u too
Todo lo que quiero es que me recuerdes siempre así...amándote. Mantay kuna kayadidididi~~Ayahuasca shamudididi. Silence ○ Shiva ◇ eternal Purusha.
What we have done is establish the rule of authority in silence. Silence is the administrator of the universe. In silence is the script of Natural Law, eternally guiding the destiny of everyone. The Joy of Giving See the job. Do the job. Stay out of the misery.
May this world be established with a sense of well-being and happiness. May all beings in all worlds be blessed with peace, contentment, and freedom.
This mass of stress visible in the here & now has sensuality for its reason, sensuality for its source, sensuality for its cause, the reason being simply sensuality.
 
Enoon
#3 Posted : 8/5/2019 4:29:01 PM

DMT-Nexus member

Moderator | Skills: Harm reduction, Analytical thinking

Posts: 1955
Joined: 24-Jul-2010
Last visit: 29-Oct-2019
Hi Yugambeh,

Thanks for writing an introduction. Your experiences sound lovely. Crying or really releasing any kind of strong emotion from our bodies and minds is so healthy and liberating. It's one of the reasons I believe psychedelics are so good for us. Our deeper layers get lit up and energized and we can move, reshape and re-use the stuck energy from there. Psychedelics are especially useful when we're not aware of what the stuck energy is made up of - fear, grief, anger or something else? If we know it, we can often go there by contemplation, journaling, meditation or other means, but if you don't know what you're dealing with it can take a long time to touch upon the right spot. But psychedelics just flood everything out.

I hope your 1.5 b journey went well.

Living in different countries is really interesting; I can relate. While perhaps it's not so much about states of consciousness, it certainly helps you in cognitive development, broadening your perspective and broadening your tolerance, love and respect for other ways to live.

Peace
Buon viso a cattivo gioco!
---
The Open Hyperspace Traveler Handbook - A handbook for the safe and responsible use of entheogens.
---
mushroom-grow-help ::: energy conserving caapi extraction
 
Yugambeh
#4 Posted : 8/9/2019 6:39:23 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 206
Joined: 21-Jul-2019
Last visit: 28-Sep-2021
Location: Alpha Centauri Cb
FranLover wrote:
wow, you're a real cool good guy I can tell😊 amazing presentation and trip reports. Safe journeys to u too


Thank you!

I’m so happy YOU guys found me🙏 I’m so happy to be here, my life has changed so much the last couple of months, I’m a better
person, and I feel more complete.

/Y
I am like a white cloud with no destination, I place goals to trick myself in believing I have somewhere to arrive, everything is a successful goal when I realise I have already arrived.
 
Yugambeh
#5 Posted : 8/9/2019 6:46:20 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 206
Joined: 21-Jul-2019
Last visit: 28-Sep-2021
Location: Alpha Centauri Cb
Enoon wrote:
Hi Yugambeh,

Thanks for writing an introduction. Your experiences sound lovely. Crying or really releasing any kind of strong emotion from our bodies and minds is so healthy and liberating. It's one of the reasons I believe psychedelics are so good for us. Our deeper layers get lit up and energized and we can move, reshape and re-use the stuck energy from there. Psychedelics are especially useful when we're not aware of what the stuck energy is made up of - fear, grief, anger or something else? If we know it, we can often go there by contemplation, journaling, meditation or other means, but if you don't know what you're dealing with it can take a long time to touch upon the right spot. But psychedelics just flood everything out.

I hope your 1.5 b journey went well.

Living in different countries is really interesting; I can relate. While perhaps it's not so much about states of consciousness, it certainly helps you in cognitive development, broadening your perspective and broadening your tolerance, love and respect for other ways to live.

Peace



Thank you for your reply!

After the 1.5 b I know exactly what I’m dealing with!

The 1.5 b journey changed everything! It was amazing and scary, still processing that night.


I paste my report here:

Third LSD journey.‬

‪7pm: drank some passion flower tea.‬
‪8pm: smoked 1 small pinch of passion flowers in a bong.‬
‪8.30pm: ingested 1.5 blotter.‬

‪I went to bed for 1 hour rest/ mediation as I’ve been up early this morning.‬

‪8:45pm: The jurney started very abrubtly and hard and really it took me by surprise, full on visionary experience. The whole bedroom was colourful with fractal patterns. I laid in the bed for an hour or more and just watched the beautiful colours around me.‬

‪I went out to the living room and spoke to my partner and things got more “normal” more like the first 2 LSD journeys with small changes in colours and lines was somewhat blurry. We spoke about life and things until she went to bed at 12:30am. It was a really good talk, we’ve been a couple for over 10 years and we cried and laughed and had a really nice time.‬

‪I decided to continue my journey in the living room in the dark with just some weak lights from a mosquito lamp, and some other small lights from the hifi equipment. It felt like it had peaked and I was coming down, not much visuals left. I was physical tired and I felt like I wanted to go to sleep, but my head/thoughts was racing, at 1am I decided to smoke some marijuana with low THC content. It calmed my thoughts down and I put my headphones on with Carbon based lifeforms. ‬

‪I was a little bit disappointed with this journey as I wanted more this time with the higher dose, I wanted more and stronger visuals than the 2 first journeys. I started to think and play with the thought that the brain doesn’t see anything, it is just interpreting signals that the eye is sending to it, if I can change what my brain sees from the inside, I should be able to trick the brain into seeing something else. I started to look at my hand. I had some small visuals left and could see some weak tribals growing up my hand. I tried very hard to force my brain to change my hands colour and shape, my fingers started to disappear from the top and down, I could if I focused really really hard make my hand take different shapes and colours. And after I while I didn’t need to tell my brain to change my hand, I could just do it in an instant.‬
‪I was curious if I could change something in the room, could I move a chair? ‬

‪I tried very hard for a long time and finally the chair moved upwards slightly, I was mentally exhausted, and I let it come down again as soon as it hit the floor the whole room EXPLODED in colours and shapes in an instant. It was like something happened with my brain when it/I realised it/I could move a big object. I could then change everything around me into everything just thinking about it, I didn’t need to focus hard, I didn’t need to think “change” I just changed things.‬

‪It was an amazing feeling of power, the room was like a fairy tale. I was curious and tried to change the plants around me and I could make them grow, change shape and die, and I could bring them back to life again. I relaxed and let my thoughts and mind wonder and my thoughts and conscious was painted/written/ played like a movie in front of me on the wall. This experience went on back and forth for me like this, I was changing things around me, then when I relaxed and let my mind wonder it was playing up on the wall like a movie.‬

‪I was curious if I could create a person or a being and suddenly a noticed a dark shadow in the corner of my left eye, something was standing there, it was there 1 second, next second it was gone. I looked at the dining table in the middle of the room and suddenly 4 dark beings appeared on the 4 chairs around the table, the atmosphere started to get dark and I felt uncomfortable but still curious. They disappeared and 2 robot like beings appeared on 2 chairs and they were watching me, but I felt like they were being watched by someone or something else too. I could see the beings but I could also feel their presence and it scared me a little bit. ‬

‪I stood up and I felt really ill and nauseous, I realised that I’ve forgotten to eat “low blood sugar” so I had some mct fats, electrolytes and a big meal replacement protein/carb drink and went back to the sofa. I started to feel better so I continued to change things and and play around with objects in the room. ‬

‪I started to get very mentally tired so I said to my brain/the substance “ show me what you got” “ throw me a curveball” and BOOM! I just disappeared into something. In could not hear the music from my headphones anymore. I wasn’t in the room any more, I was nothing, but I was everything. I could not feel anything, I could not plan or think about the future, I had no memory it was amazing, I wasn’t scared because I could not think or feel, I cannot explain what happened to me? I have no idea how long time I was gone. I could see myself or feel myself floating around in something colourful, but I could not see or feel?!?!‬

‪When I “came back” to the room I was tired and drained, physically and mentally. I went to the kitchen for som juice and fruits. I went back to the sofa and just let my mind wonder and I listen to the music, objects in the room was moving with the music, I pointed my hands at objects and I could orchestra the whole room with my mind.‬

‪It was now 5:28am and I still had a full on experience, it didn’t stop until I finally had 2 bags of camomile tea and went to sleep at 11:30am, when I woke up I thought I’ve slept for 30 minutes or so but I had slept for 8 hours without any dreams or anything.‬

‪What happened to me when I disappeared into nothingness which felt like everything? ‬

‪I was surprised that the LSD had a full on effect after just 15 min after ingesting it, was it the Passion flower? And the whole experience lasted for about 15 hours, is this normal?‬

‪I’m still trying to process and comprehend the experience, I received some hints from the beings how to conquer my sleep problems and injuries. Since the journey I feel so calm and relaxed. ‬

‪I’ll write more later as I’ve processed this experience.‬


‪Safe journeys everyone.‬

‪/Y‬
I am like a white cloud with no destination, I place goals to trick myself in believing I have somewhere to arrive, everything is a successful goal when I realise I have already arrived.
 
wet sand
#6 Posted : 8/9/2019 2:39:43 PM
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Last visit: 19-Feb-2022
Location: Seattle
I'm glad to see your positive outlook after having to deal with some harsh difficult things.

And I've experienced the feeling of having a trip and then losing memory of my real existence here on earth, Once the trip is over thankfully it all comes back to me and when i see my pipe i remember what happened and that i was tripping. Can't explain what causes your real life memories to temporarily vanish though.
 
 
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