I started my journey a couple months ago, don't have much to say, just absorbing what I can from this awesome place. I weaned off prescriptions in preparation, got some mimosa bark, lazyman tek'd some crystals and have been experimenting since.

At first I was all gung ho trying to find meaning in it, trying to describe or define what it's like. And every time I've tried it since, it's entirely different, the previous description is not at all like the next, everything I've tried to say about it is irrelevant.

I have a hard time going back to it, it's so intense and sometimes scary, but it's entirely fascinating. I've felt like I was abducted by aliens (mayan/aztec shadow people), another time there was a xylophone spewing off liquid sounds, I saw an asian warrior, it's all over the map.

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I'm not terribly keen on smoking, I have lung disease and my lung is glued to my chest with pleurodesis to stay open. It's hard to breath at times and distracting from the experience, but I'm ambitious.

I acquired some white harmaline extract but need to pick up a scale to dose it, and I do take ambien xr, prazosin (ptsd), and a little trazadone still (weaned off buspirone, venlafaxine, chantix) so I've been putting it off. I need to get off the time release ambien so I can wean it down, I tried cutting them to take less and it didn't have any effect at all.

I was just going to start small and try dosing the harmaline in lemon tea without dmt to figure out my dosage and make sure there's no interactions, then figure out how to take the dmt (vape vs eat).

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Out of my first 10 attempts I broke through 2x. Then 2 of the last 3x. I only try once every 10-14 days, but 2-3 sessions on a day I decide to do it. Session being 1-3 puffs.

I did have an experience where I picked up where I left off a previous day, as much as I just said every time is entirely different. But every other time, I can do a session, then after it ends, fill the vape and try to get back there and it shows me something entirely different, not at all the same, 30 minutes apart.

Today was my best experience yet, only 1 puff, I was waiting for the fabric but it wasn't showing me much and I'm wondering if I even got any, then I hear this sound building, like echoing sound along cables on a suspension bridge starting distant but incrementally the source was getting closer, kinda like a horror movie, getting louder as it approached. And then it was like a party bus arrived and 6-7 aztec shadow silhouette people jumped out and were dancing around teasing each other playfully, an atrium formed around us, one pinched the other's butt and they laughed and were making shapes, one went to do a somersault roll and as his head got to the floor it turned into a statue of a dog laying down. As I looked up it's body it was more like roots spilling out of a tree, but the tree was this wall of crazy shapes covered in scales, then they were feathers, then flower petals.

I am sorry to hear that you have problems with your lungs. Perhaps consider another ROA, such as plugging? I have never tried plugging, but it certainly seem like a viable option for you considering your lung disease. I am sure a proponent for plugging will chime in at some point here.


It sounds like you are on a mission of sorts. Enjoy your ride!

Welcome to the Nexus!

Thanks, it is a mission of sorts to do some soul searching and healing. I've caught some mental baggage over 8 years, got through the first hurdles, got swamped again and gave up for a while.

Earlier, I had debilitating nerve pain in my face from some rare disease (Tolosa Hunt Syndrome), had a surgery after a couple years that partially fixed the pain and gave me my life back. It was a good one

Ended up overcoming that, crawled out of a financial hole over a couple years. Then when things were going really well I booked a dream trip to NZ and Australia. Spent a ton of money booking this elaborate vacation. I was just passing through AU to get to NZ and my lung collapsed again.

I didn't want to go to the hospital but the doctor I went to grabbed my passport when I told him I wasn't going, and wouldn't give it back until I was en route.

In the emergency room, they tied me down with one of my arms over my head, tied down. I was having something of a panic attack and they hit me with ketamine IV repeatedly without putting me under. Then kept hitting me with it while they were cutting open my chest running tubes, lots of commotion, lights, beeping machines, I was convinced I died and was in the afterlife. The ketamine turned a nightmare into a real life traumatic experience.

They did the pleurodesis surgery I didn't want, then I was stranded for 6 weeks unable to fly home after surgery.

That chewed me up for a while with stress related problems, eventually seeking a psychiatrist when I started to lose my mind from lack of sleep, everything started to crumble, sleep overridden by adrenaline, waking up in a panic sweating repeatedly.

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DMT seems to smooth things out, I feel calmer, reserved, but alert, and sharp. Less of a "victim" mentality, or at least less dwelling on the past. Just...normal, better equipped, and pretty good.

Good grief! That sounds like quite the ordeal!

Take care of yourself. Make sure you are healthy enough to be taking psychedelics. It would really suck to have some health issues mid DMT trip. Have you talked to a doctor about all this and asked if it is safe to be using psychedelics? Something to consider.. tread carefully.