Hello again all

It's been a long time (6mths or so?) since I wanted to try DMT. Long story short I couldn't get to hyperspace before- partially because my anxiety and nerves stopped me from being able to take a big enough hit, and also because on one of my last attempts I received a strong "not yet" vibe from 'something' after I took a small toke... so I put it away.

Amazingly my life went downhill these last few months- and I can see now why I really wasn't ready for it back then. Where I am now I couldn't have dreamed of back then... I am amazingly happy, and over the last week or so the universe told me I was ready to finally try the spice.

Along the way I had bought a Volcano for weed. I decided to jump in and try it out. I had a copilot who had always wanted to try it too, so I used some 'already vaped bud' and laid the spice on top. I had it set on 200c- probably should have confirmed that temp- and filled a bag.

I took one big breath (a few nerves, but not too bad- and it was so easy to take, the bag makes it effortless) and soon felt... something like the usual sounds and 'warm up' visuals. Out the corner of my eye I see Kal and he has had a hit. There is still some in the bag. I feel like I'm not there. In my peripherals my mate takes another hit and puts the bag down- so I grab it and take the second puff.

I feel myself get deeper... my vision is glassy... then I hear Kal's voice- he says loudly "LET GO".

BANG.

I get sucked down and dissolved into colourful dust. The best way to describe it is when you push your eyes a little and see the rainbow specs in your eyelids- but then dancing geometric men with their tongues out start roatating... the scene was both 2D and 3D somehow- I felt like I was in a washing machine of "electricity". I 'knew' it was what we are all made up of when we aren't matter in the universe. I felt happy to be like this, in this state, and all us little particles shot around together. I recall thinking 'how long has it been' and my consciousness actually laughed at me and stated "there is no time, here". It felt like eternity, or at least billions upon billions of years. Then suddenly I felt like I had to "go". I was taken back, and I saw my body. I remember it being like I was shoe-horned into it, and I genuinely felt almost disgusted and saddened to have to return.

Then I was back. I remember immediately after this trip I had thoughts on what I believed was being told to me- but I was way overthinking it and getting the lessons all wrong. I'm glad I didn't stop there- we turned the volcano back on and wondered how much spice was still active therein.

I took a big ol' hit- just one was all I needed this time. And I didn't need a voice guide: I had been there now, and I was comfortable and felt welcome there.

This time was different again.

I was looking above myself sitting in the chair. I was wearing an Egyptian style dog headdress type thing, and was adorned in gold. I had rainbows surrounding me, and I felt like a god of somekind. When I moved my arms (in reality) my dog god avatar moved his- but twistier and stranger. I remember having access to many of my mental states and reasoning- and fiddling around in there like it was circuity that needed 'fixing'. I remember crying a lot, it was a very emotional trip.

When I came too Kal was still out of it. He was laying back- but occasionally opening his eyes and smiling, so I knew he was cool. I felt like I was being beckoned back- the whole time I had this amazing affinity, utmost respect and humility towards the machine filled with spice taking me away. Both trips- despite the crying- were overwhelmingly positive and all I could feel was happiness, love and unity.

I filled another bag and went back. Each time I imagine the spice is getting less and less potent- but each breath I felt the 'handshake' in my mind before melting away.

This time was different again. I saw a void- but floating in the void was a huge square that was made of different clocks. Each clock was made of really fine, sophisticated cogs. The detail was incredible and it was so... inexplicably beautiful I felt myself getting emotional. I could move the cogs with my mind- and even though it was made mostly of black and white, there was an amazing rainbow colour coming off \ out all the clocks. After a while I noticed that it was my will that was sustaining the structure, and it was getting difficult to maintain the quality. Suddenly it started to crumple and implode in on itself until it was just blackness. I felt like I was at the bottom of an ocean. There was something there in front, just rippling. I'm not sure what it was. But I felt like there was something behind me... so I pulled my head back- and it was like pulling your face out of water... I was POP back into reality.

There was a little left in the bag so I took it in. Same 'handshake' type thing- it very much felt each time like the old 56k modems that would have to connect to a server... it was just very visual as I watched fractals and shapes. The word 'prismatic' kept playing in my head as I watched this red\green\blue triangle type shape swirl. I could tell I wasn't too deep- but it was still enough that time felt amazingly difficult to judge, and I had to physically "wake up" each time. Like I was on the cusp of a dream in the morning, and I knew people were up and about- but my body was still happy to let me be in the dream as long as I wanted.

Eventually I came back, and not wanting to waste any I filled one last bag and breathed deeply.

It was quite funny, because I could tell it was out. My brain still had enough in it that when I closed my eyes I could see nothing... but it wasn't JUST nothing, there was a feeling. Like acceptance. Like the end of the story. I knew it was over- I'd seen a hell of a lot... so much to process. And I keep remembering strange parts previously forgotten. It's so amazing- I am so grateful to have seen something, as I have had hard times getting the best out of any psychedelic. However the whole experience was a massively positive one, and I am waiting for the time when I feel right to venture back there again. I'm no longer scared, it's made me so curious...

Anyway, thanks for reading. Haha this probably reads like incoherent garbage- I just needed to get it all out while I can. Thanks for reading