Hello all. Hoping to write my thoughts out here and ask advice from more experienced travellers.

I've done DMT about 7 or 8 times now in the past 4 months. I have very minimal experience with psychs leading up to this.

My first 5 DMT trips were with a gentle come up (for DMT standards) with low to moderate initial anxiety after inhalation which transitioned into a beautiful mostly visually stimulating trip. I do remember a slight struggle with the come up, but eventually stabilized into the trip. All in all, I thought I was doing well with slowly getting into my groove, figuring out my rig, and incrementally upping my dosage. It was spiritual and beautiful and I was looking forward to going deeper.

I had one entity experience that was great, but no breakthrough. Each trip was more visually intensive than the last. I was getting cocky and felt I could do no wrong with upping my dose. I was a pro now. ... (I thought lol.) And then the 6th time I took a fearless, large 60mg rip from my rig. It was big. I coughed it up after only a few seconds. I got it all, but didnt hold it. I was immediately disappointed that I coughed, but was surprised by how intense my visuals came on. Holy shit, I was thrust into this extremely intense portal that I wasn't ready to go to I guess... The sheer intensity sent me into a panic attack. I did the funky chicken on the floor trying to escape and awoke destroyed. Damn. Shit happens. I dealt with it. Got back on the horse, took a step back with lighter psychs (like 4acoDMT) and got my confidence back to visit Dimitri again.

Last night I prepared to go back. I had a great set and setting, did some meditation and dropped the tip of a knife (between 25-40mg) of powder into my rig. Due to the harshness in my lungs, I assumed I got the entire dose, I decided to blow it out after only a couple seconds. FEAR. I thought, oh well, I'll enjoy the visuals, no breakthrough this time...

After a second, I got the typical euphoric feeling, I began to sit back and drop my blindfold...

A few seconds after that and totally unexpected, I was hurling down this tunnel again at light speed! "SHIT, I'm dying! My brain broke!" I dont think there was any visuals of the tunnel. It was just a feeling of my soul being ripped outta my body and I was extremely panicked. It wasn't really a feeling of travelling down a tunnel, but more like a rapid transition from one state to another... if that makes any sense. This was the come up and it was INTENSE. And then it happened. My physical body was no more. My senses were totally highjacked. Something changed and I was no longer a human being. It wasn't comfy or peaceful. It was like my soul was torn out of my body shot partially into its home and then yanked back to my body immediately. A rollercoaster ride for my soul. Where was I? Was this the breakthrough eluding me? I wasn't in my body but I wasn't where I needed to be. I think I broke through for only a second and came back to this reality immediately.

I took a breath, stabilized and enjoyed the visual show. But I was back on earth in my body feeling sad that I had been rejected. The sadness melted away rapidly as a dancing robot looking jester poked fun at me telling me to chill out. I didnt watch him, as I dont think I was in a state to move my eyes to the right side of my brain where he was... It felt as I experienced it though my periferral? Weird. I was aware I was in my body but kinda not totally aware. I was still quite couch locked.

Whats happening here? The feeling I had was definitely death. I was dying and I wasn't ok with it. I said, "no no no no!" as it was happening and it kicked me back to my body.

Is the breakthrough always immediately after the come up?

Or, Can a breakthrough come after we stabilize and perhaps a few minutes into the trip?

Is it common to see entities and not be broken through? I was NOT broken through both entity experiences I have had because I could put thought to the experience. And I was me in my body.

Please help me to map out my travels. I'm really confused. Am I on the right track? Should I up my dose. Damn its terrifying.

Thanks guys!

It takes a certain getting used to for sure. Just have to relax. You are not dying.. you're mind is wrong. Think about that. It is projecting this idea into your experience. The thoughts come in, then the emotions follow, next thing you know that is what all your energy is going towards. Survival. Can you step back from these thoughts and emotions and attempt to calm yourself and know that you are in fact, not dying?

I had said once before that it often feels like practicing to die. You have to let go. There is a great lesson in what you panic about when you feel like death is here. There is an immediate appreciation for life when I come back from these kind of experiences. I give gratitude for my life and the lesson of dying! It will happen some day... I think it's ok to practice letting go with DMT. Just observe it happening and do your best to just let the experience happen. It is easier said than done. You have to approach it with respect and courage.

I would like to add that the DMT experience is not always like this. It can be so many things. I feel like some of what you are experiencing is a one foot in and one foot out. Sometimes it is much easier to just be all the way there. In some ways it just takes you beyond your mind and ego. There is no fight, because there is no longer any of YOU to fight it. I have come out of this kind of experience almost having to remember who I am. At times it felt like I was reassembled. Suddenly feeling my fingertips, the sounds come back, all of reality seems to pop back into place. I would stare at my hands for a moment thinking, what the heck are these things. BAM.. these are hands.. I have hands... I am a human.. oh yeah... I remember this.. I am me! So weird....

It just changes and changes. Just when you think you have seen it all it shows more. It feels infinite. Don't strive for a breakthrough. Just relax and try and enjoy it as much as you can. I often have recommended to try and laugh. I really mean it. Laugh! It really helps. You can also hum.. chant.. or maybe put on some music you like for grounding if you want. Noises and sounds seem to be taken with you into hyperspace. They can transform the experiences at times.

All in all, I think you are approaching it in a good way. Meditation is good. Stepping up your dose little by little is good. Just try and stop worrying about things. Just let go! Relax... try and have fun. Set an intention! Something simple like show me love! And just think over and over about love!

I dunno.. I approach DMT with a certain wild abandon sometimes. I really just like whatever it brings up anymore. I enjoy light dose, medium dose and heavy dose all the same. Just depends on my mood. It is such an odd terrain that takes some getting used to. Most of the terrain is learning to observe the mind freaking out about it and stepping out of it when this starts to occur.

I hope some of this may help... I could go on and on about my experiences and what has helped me. I would say the biggest help would be to trust yourself and know you will be ok no matter what comes up. Everything is ok. Nothing is wrong. Trust the whole experience!

Very well said DmnStr8.

Something that may help you understand is the idea of pain. Everyone tenses up, and fights the idea of pain. They panic and make "the pain face" when something hurts. I was always like this too, as its a natural reaction. But I was in a near death motorcycle accident when an oncoming car tried to turn left infront of me. Ill spare you the story, but I have a very high metabolism/tolerance for all drugs. The highest doses the hospital was allowed to give me of oxy and dilauded were barely working. So for the initial two weeks in the hospital and after the first 6 surgeries, I felt everything upon waking up. For hours and hours, I would be in so much pain that my body was super tense, all muscles flexed, my breathing labored.

After some time, you slowly learn how to deal with it. You get to a point where you realize you can just look right at it, and let it in. Instead of tensing up, I started to focus on breathing and imagined I was opening flood gates to let the pain in. Once I let myself feel it all, it was so much easier. I started asking what pain really feels like. It seems crazy, but while being in an immense amount of pain, i started exploring it and wondering what it was. Once I did this it was as if it stopped hurting. The feeling was there, but it suddenly became ok.

I started using a basic checklist. "Am i going to die from this?" The answer was always no. Once this answer is understood, you realize youre safe in that case. That was the whole checklist. Almost like a computer code
If = not going to die
then = ok

Try that exercise next time youre in pain. If you stub your toe or bang your elbow, let it hurt. It wont kill you or cause you any real harm. I now almost always acclimate pain with the color brown. Just think of it and really think of the feeling, and it wont be bad at all.

So this applies to what your experiencing. Just understanding what you did, that DMT is in no way lethal if youre smoking it, and that it will pass. When I spot for people, I say whatever you experience, just confront it and go with it. It will almost always negate a bad time. Even a "bad entity" is there to teach you something if you want it to.

great post. IS the only path to breakthrough in the initial come up? What I've understood in my experience is that after I back into my body, there is only calm and acceptance.... although I am no longer capable of a breakthrough as it feels like I "missed my chance"

Is it true the breakthrough comes on immediately on the come up... or can it be delayed? I would just guess that the breakthrough couldn't come as delayed as the medicine wears away after a minute or so.

For me, the closest ive been to a breakthrough, it happend on a "second wave." I was rocketing forward and then slowed down. After (whatever amount of time, probably seconds but we know its not the same during the experience) i suddenly felt myself hit another stride and get propelled further and I thought "ohhhh here weee goooo"

interesting. Did you take a second puff a few seconds after your first? Perhaps the 2nd dose kicked in?