Unique couple of trips I had this week. Definetly am glad I keep a journal after I trip to make sure I get the most out of my experience and to try to remember what I am experiencing. I know it is hard (for me at least) to remember details so I try to be as detailed as possible right after the trip. Here arey last 2 entries... Give me feedback on if anything like this has happened to you. Slightly concerning for me!

7/8/2018 8:08pm-8:25ish
After a weekend of a celebration of Biggie's life and wishing little brother fair well on his way to Uganda, I drove home thinking about kaizen and making a purpose for myself. I decided to go home and smoke some NnDMT to meditate and try to find my true self. My previous trips we're nothing but Bliss and excitement but I also did not go into them with any thought waining on my head. Today I took 32mg Vaped in the gvg and had my first real breakthrough. I lived an entire day in the life of a tropical space entity (tropical seems to be a theme of mine, very warm, sunny and Sandy) I was floating in a pool towards the end of this day and realized I was either very old or not myself. I seemed to be an entity and that got me questioning. Who am I? What do I mean as a human? How do I leave an impact? Is all of my life just a trip?
As the trip came to a close, 2 realities seemed to mesh into one. I knew I was this entity seemingly having memories of a wife and children, but I was in my apartment in my own body. I jumped back and forth between two conciousnesses trying to figure out which one was real and who I actually am. This was no doubt something that permenantly will have changed me. I am taking a break from the spice for a breakthrough, and a thought provoking one has been achieved.
Turns out I am allot more serious and lost than I thought, maybe it's time to cut the joking and fun and pursue a legacy that people will admire and appreciate when I am gone

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7/9/2018 11:10-11:30ish
After not feeling all that normal after yesterday, some voice in my head was screaming at me to trip again. Something tried to stop me and I was very anxious before the trip. I spent a lot of the day on DMT Nexus and watched The Spirit Molecule for the second time which got me motivated enough to trip. Being so anxious for no apparent reason, I meditated with Headspace, then said a number of Hail Mary's followed by a short request to keep me safe within my trip. 29mg was measured and when I finished praying I smoked. I though there was no effect as I tried my first eyes closed trip so about
5 min later I tried again. Almost instant paralysis. I heard something say "we got you now" and everything swirled in a seeming Galaxy of darkness. An entity that can only be described as a dark moon man made himself present. He danced around me in a playful manner, but looked like he was up to no good. I was so entirely me and he was so entirely him but it seemed like he wanted to control me. I laughed at him internally and danced around him as he chased me in circles. After opening my eyes, my desire to trip was ended. I feel like maybe yesterday some of my consciousness was left behind somewhere, and the small little entities that said "we got you now" were actually helping me to retrieve it back from this moonman figure.

All in all I came out of this trip thankful for my consciousness and being on Earth as well as feeling more like myself than after yesterday's trip. I have little desire to smoke again in the upcoming weeks, but we will see how far out my curiousity will let me take a break. For now, I plan on atleast a one week hiatus. Maybe 2.

Man that first trip was interesting but the second one got me, because i als ge that same thing last few times...we got you now, idiot...

This stuff can really feel demonic at times..

Dont know what it means but its definitly powerfull

If I understood your post correctly, that you have a wife and children, then I think you should set this experimentation aside until your children grow up and your duty to them fulfilled. You're not much good to them if you put yourself into a hole through experimentation. It will all still be there for you at that time, nothing will be missed, but if you mess yourself up your children will miss out on you.

Ridiculous! Many of us psychonauts have children. DMT is not going to mess you up. If anything DMT provides a wonderful perspective on being a parent. I look at my child with joy and wonder! I share with her the child like fascination of this world.

Do you have children? My guess would be no. I don't think you would make such a statement if you did. I don't think you have the foggiest idea what you are talking about with your above statement xss27!

Very nice trip report!

I like that you laughed! I also like that you came out of your experiences feeling more like yourself. You recognized that something that appeared to be out to get you was actually helping you. All of these above things are very important in my opinion. I think you have done a great job with your integration and figuring out what these experiences mean to you personally! Always good to take breaks as well. Good on ya!

Thanks for sharing!

No I don't have children, beside the point. And if I did I would not need DMT to bring me closer to my childs world. That is a total rationalization on your part.

You nor anyone on this forum knows what DMT actually does to the brain, to the mind, or any other subtle aspect of 'you'. To present the statement, 'DMT is not going to mess you up', as a matter of fact is absurd for the simple reason that you do not understand all the factors involved.

Again.. you haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about. You don't have kids so you are at a loss in this conversation. You have no idea what I am talking about because you have no kids. Don't twist my words around.

DMT does not bring me closer to my childs world. I choose a perspective. I choose it before and after a DMT trip. My child is a guiding force in my life and in my psychedelic journeys. I can see the world as she does because I have had experiences that guided me to this perspective. I don't need it to bring me closer to her. I am always close to her. It is a unique perspective to share with your child the wonderment of this world. I had this perspective long before she was born. Now that she is here I can see the world as she does... childlike. You won't understand this because you have no children. This is not a rationalization. This is life experience.

You don't know what you are talking about, period. When you have kids then you can dispense advice on the topic. Until then.. you are clueless. You have nothing to offer of the subject.

Do you really think because the OP takes a DMT trip that he will mess him/herself up? So much so that he/she will not be able to take care of their wife and kids? The OP has made it very clear they are fine. That is what we are talking about. The OP. The OP is not going to get messed up because of these DMT trips. The OP sounds very level headed. It is ridiculous to point out precautions in parenting and psychedelics if you have no kids. Many parents choose to take psychedelics and remain wonderful parents!

My original post has obviously offended you and rubbed you up the wrong way. Why? All I was suggesting to the OP is that if he does have children then perhaps it may not be the most level headed thing to be experimenting with a substance that has powerful potential to affect the mind, especially given that his posting indicates some self-reflection and concern about it.

You're approaching delusional thinking if you honestly believe there is no danger involved in utilizing one of the most powerful psychedelic agents available. Again, if you do not know all the factors involved in its (DMT) functioning you can not claim it is totally safe.

Since no one has a firm grasp on how it affects us, my statement is completely valid. It's a calculated risk to use it, and one that in my opinion belongs more to those who have no dependents.

A cursory examination of the forum and elsewhere yields plenty of examples demonstrating it can massively affect your state of mind. I think erring on the side of caution is advisable and a completely rational position to hold.

Meh.... You are no psychonaut. I read through all your previous posts. You have ulterior motives I feel. You may have had some bad experiences with psychedelics and now feel the need to warn people of the dangers. Fine warn people.. do your thing. I really don't think you know what you are talking about at all. Your limited perspective in regards to psychedelics is apparent. No one needs a nanny in here. Psychedelics are tools. Learn to use the tools and they work. If you don't know what you are doing with them, they will bite you. Sounds like you got bit. A person with a handful of psychedelic experiences is not someone I would take psychedelic advice from. And to boot, you have no kids and are giving parenting advice. Rub me the wrong way... nah.. you're just annoying.

I have nothing more to add.

I'm no psychonaut because I haven't used psychedelics repeatedly to the point of abuse or absurdity? What sort of logic is that. I got what I needed out of them and recognized they would not take me further on their own, so I set them aside.

Maybe you could do with a different perspective? The fact you have gotten so irritated by my simple recommendation of caution to someone else, and then accuse me of having ulterior motives, is ridiculous. I don't get how someone could be so offended by my suggestion of caution, a basic common sense suggestion at that.

Misunderstanding on what I was saying. In my trip i became an entity and had its memories and it seemingly had a wife and children. that being said, I dont necessarily think it is bad to do non addictive hallucinogenics while having children. Obviously not around your kids, but I know some parents who will do a hallucinogen or 2 on the weekends while there kids are out of town, or while they do not assume the responsibility for thier children. Expanding the mind is not something that should be frowned upon regardless of who it is. As long as the substance is being used in a responsible manner that isnt affecting the lives of themselves or thier children negatively I do not see an issue with it IMHO