I had a very crazy dream yesterday. I dreamt that I drank SP tea, maybe 2-300mg mescaline. I found myself sitting at a lake, watching the water. For the first time in my life I actually experienced the present moment. It was marvelous. A few visuals popped in and out of the waves, but most importantly I saw the beauty God gave us. I came to realize that we were gifted this life, by God and we have completely lost it. Peeling an orange was the most painful, but beautiful moments of my life. I spent a few hours hiking with my pup as the guide. She took me all around the lake. I stopped a few times and walked very slowly. After a while I began to see the ecosystem working together. It was sad to see how man has destroyed parts of it with his polluted barbaric ways. I wept when I held a dying cactus that had been ripped out of the ground and just left there. I heard the birds in another cactus singing...they were cheering me up. My pup broke me out of this trance with gentle licks to clean away my tears. She made it clear that we needed to continue hiking. I began watching her move, and it became clear that her every step, ear turn, air sniff,etc. was purposeful. I was convinced that she was 100% mindful. At one point, she halted after picking up a scent. While stopped I began slowly scanning the terrain and saw a mother, father and baby donkey walking about 100 yards away from me. I could sense the mother's fear, so we got back to hiking. As we passed them, I felt a deep pain that was stored in my genetic memory. It must have been thousands of years old...but it was clear that I had been here before.
At that moment, my psyche seemed to fully split. A dark version of myself came forward and stripped me of this deep connection. It chastised me for a while... reminding me that we still must survive this world. He began explaining the complexity of eating from the tree of good and evil, of having knowledge. He made it clear that in this world, you cannot have a soul if you desire success. You must rely on the brain and prefrontal cortex to reach a higher status. I could feel my soul retreating, but welcomed it to counter this argument. All it said was that if I can live in the present moment, none of these arguments matter. At this point I made it back to my campground. I reached in my bag to pull my headphones out, but noticed my wallet. I pulled it out and grabbed the money. It all looked so fake and ridiculous. I became aware that money is the biggest joke of all. I swear I heard the birds laughing with me...I'm glad I had an isolated camping spot because I started laughing uncontrollably. I had been chasing money, but had really missed this gift God gave us. I was living in a beautiful world...there was nothing beautiful about money. My fingers felt slimy after touching the money, so I went to the bathroom. I tied my dog to the leash and that's when it kicked it...
I was floating...not walking. I wondered if this is what Buddha, Christ, Krishna, etc. felt like. The world was brighter, colors were more vibrant. The earth had energy...I was completely connected. While using the bathroom, I looked down at the concrete floor. Images of warriors fighting, and oceans came forth. The warriors we're quite ancient...so I figured looking at the lake might show me something even more powerful. I grabbed my pup, who looked very different to me...and I came to realize as we walked out to the shoreline that I had an image that I was projecting, but she actually looked completely different from what I thought she did! This took me to place of deep understanding of how our minds actually shape our reality. The Revelation that our mind is this crazy powerful tool that we squander with nonsense became very clear. No longer a concept, but a real experience. At this point we got to the shoreline and I was right. The water was about to rock my world...
As I turned on my music, I began to see the water dancing with the beat. Slowly images began to form from underneath the waves. I relaxed into this, and they began rising above the water. First the image of a tribal warrior screaming at me with the most fierce expression I have ever seen. This slowly morphed into an African princess who looked so beautiful I instantly feel deeply in love. The feeling washed over me, and then the image morphed into my father, then mother. And then back to dancing. Snakes, and famous paintings, and structures danced in and out...but as my headphones died, the voice came forth. It told me to go meditate...it said the fun was over. It felt to me like an ancient energy...that's all I can say for sure.
As I made it into my tent and began meditation, the visuals where quite intense and cannot be explained. However, the battle of the voices was as clear as I've ever heard them. Suffice it to say...every person I have ever met or talked to showed up. Many of them I had forgotten, but their advice was so clear. I began to see how each piece of advice had led me to this exact moment. It was clear that I was going to be here on this day. It was such a collective universal understanding. Once everything quieted down...that's when the flash of light hit. I began to lose feeling of my limbs, I began dissolving. Unfortunately, my Ego fought this with everything it had. After a while of battling I felt pretty tired. I opened my eyes to see that the sun was beginning to set. I made a fire and just watched it burn. The water remained stunning, birds and bugs began visiting. I welcomed flies on my arm and just watched as the cleaned up the residue I my hands. I used to hate flies...
Bugs performed to most beautiful dances for my pup and I. Firelight danced and reflected off them as they stayed and vibrated. The lake looked like a mirror. A duck swam across it, but it only created the most beautiful pattern behind him. I ate some dinner, meditated a little more. My dog was asleep when I came out of it. She woke and licked my hand...it was time to sleep. There were no dreams that night...just deep deep sleep. I've never felt so refreshed after sleeping in a tent...
Everything I say is complete nonsense...I am an internet troll looking for attention.