Hello everyone.

I have been browsing this forum for a little while now. I have wanted to do dmt for a while now, and I describe it as a pull, a need.

Anyway, I done dmt for the first time today, and it scared and shook the hell out of me. I is going to be hard to describe, but I will do my best.

I got dmt from a friend, enough for two people. I already planned to go to my brothers to do this. I was really excited and could not wait.

My brother put the DMT into a glass pipe. I took the first pull, and my body started to go dumb, I took the second pull and my body went limp. I laid down and closed my eyes. It was dark, with some colours, and then I started to go upward. There were spiral evil like faces as i was moving up, but as i was still aware, I thought it was pretty cool. As I moved upwards , I was getting closer and closer to a dim light as the top. I started saying to myself "you are not scaring me" when i got to the top, I could feel a presence, a couple of beings, but I could not really see them, but I felt they were playing with me. I felt nothing bad from them, only that they were jokers.

I started to come back, and opened my eyes. I thought it was pretty cool, but I knew I did not break though. Through the whole experience, I knew all this was because of the dmt .

Anyway, about five mins later, I decided to do it again. My brother heated it up, and I took a huge hit, and held it in for as long as I could. The last thing I remember was my brother saying "do you want another pull"

Straight away , I was inside my mind, and ripping apart my brain, and then after that, ripping up another part of my body. It was not gory or bloody, but there were alot of colours.

I completely forget who I was, my real reality. I instantly thought I was dead, then I thought this was my real reality. I was going through my body into my mind and tearing it apart over and over again, what seemed like forever. It was hell , and the fear i felt, I have never felt fear like that ever. My life was gone, I had no idea who I was, just a strong sense that this madness was real.

After what seemed like a lifetime, I managed to open my eyes. The room I did not recognise, my brother I did not recognise, even though I could see his face, I did not know who he was.

I closed my eyes again, and the trip continued. I did not know what the hell was going on. I did not know what reality was real, who I was, nothing!

I started to open my eyes more, and slowly, everything started coming back.  I started to remember where I was, and who my brother was. I slowly sat up, and looked around. Everything was still pretty distorted. My brother said I was out for about 10 mins, but to me, it felt longer.

He said I called out a few times saying "I need to get back"

When I was back in this reality, I was so happy to be back. I really thought I had died, or this was my real reality.

I do not know if this is classed as a break through, but it is not the kind of experience I want to repeat.

That place seemed so real, and the fear i felt there was real.

I am feeling a bit better now, but right after the experience, I was shaking all over. It felt me real than reality itself.

As you now know it's not all sparkles and rainbows, it scared the hell out of me first time as well man. Though I jumped straight back in there and did it again half an hour later.

You either like this sort of thing or you don't though, it's not everyone's cup of tea. Either way, whether or not you choose to do it again, stay safe.

I want what you're having. haha sounds quite intense man.

There's a tek for that somewhere on here.

Well, it is the next day. A lot of it has faded now, but I still have the strong feelings and emotions from the trip. Last night, I had a hard time getting used to the real reality. I wish I could remember the images more, but they are pretty much gone. I woke up this morning, looked out of the window, and was glad to be back.

I really thought I was dead, and that was my reality. I guess if you did not lose yourself, it would not be as bad, like the one I did before, but I lost all sense of me, of my reality, but I kind of knew I had a reality because I thought I died, or that my illusion of life was shattered, and this strange reality was real.

This was not only my first dmt experience, it was my first drug experience. Never done any sort of drug, and do not smoke. Maybe that is why it was so intense.

Would that be classed as a break through though?

If you've never tried anything else ever before I can understand the panic and thinking you had died. That's a fairly common reaction in general, even for people who have taken a lot of psychedelics before. It's pretty much what I experienced too. Stupid DMT movies have romanticized the whole notion of the substance. Should be removed from Netflix ASAP.

Dunno if you experienced a breakthrough. You certainly experienced strong ego dissolution and were no doubt seeing multi-dimensional objects that have no reference in this reality, that's why the memories are fading so quickly. If I breakthrough I come out of that chaos, into something that is more tangible, more easily remembered. It's different for everyone every time they take it. It's a crazy crap shoot with unpredictable results. It's fun to roll the dice though.

It's weird. All day I have been questioning my reality. Sometimes I think I am still on the chair in my brothers house on the dmt trip. I hope that feeling goes. I just feel very strange today.

Just another thing I have noticed. The later part of the day today, I have been having muscle aches, and the top of my inside legs feel warm. Is it normal to have aches and pains a day after a dmt trip?

Yeah, the feeling does go away in a couple of days. The muscle aches you are experiencing are probably from anxiety, it sounds like a pretty harsh reaction you had.

Don't worry. You are safe and you have not been harmed.

Yeah, today has been tough. Thinking about the trip all day. That feeling of not knowing who I was or how I got where I ended up, and thinking that a died. Today everything just seems serial, like i am waiting to taking to that place again, and that I am still tripping, right now on my brothers couch, and this is still part of it.

Just want that feeling to go

It can be very very powerful, and it can take you deeper than you wish to see. It's willing to show as much as you're willing to handle, literally [if you're able to hang onto it/stay with it, which people often forget and/or black out]. It's not for everyone.

Start small and work your way up. It's no toy when it hits deep waters [heck, even sub-breakthrough can be pretty jarring - depending on the individual].

<3

Thanks

I will do it again, but will leave it until I am ready.

Hello,

Thanks for the sharing your experience, well I can understand you fear especially if it was your first trip on drug ever. Even if dmt is very special, I can tell you ego dissolution really freak me all the time. Personally it happend even every time i took salvia and it is very scary thing so don't worry to be anxious and think about it few days later because it's normal.

For information did you use a scale ? how mg do you think you smoke ?

I got it from a friend, enough for two people.

What I do not understand is this, when I took that last pull, I was instantly pulled into this trip, and straight away, I did not know who I was, where I was. What came to my mind first, was that I had died instantly, and was now here. Then I started to think I was always here, and my reality before ( whatever it was ) was not real.

I have looked at youtube videos about letting go of your ego and fear, but how can you do that when you do not know who you are, or how you got to this place. Maybe if I did let go, this part of the trip would have changed to something else, but how can you shake the fear when you do not know where you are, or how you ended up at this place?

I am def going to do it again, maybe in a month or so. I am just worried the same thing will happen. I do not even know if this was a break through. All i know is I was there instantly. I felt like I was deep inside my mind, shredding my mind over and over, and it felt like forever.

I just thought I died. I did not know how, but I was dead.

That's when you know you're doing it right. The rapidity, the sudden rushing sensations that overtake you, you feel that last breath slip away into the experience and ..you're there, in all its appalling glory. The moment hits "oh no what have I done, I took too much!? oh my god!".




Too much focus on 'letting go'. Let go of the notion of 'letting go'. Drop all expectation, sit back/recline, pipe to lips, smile, go. The more impediment in your approach before it comes over you - the rougher the transition can/will be. <3




Yeah, take your time, approach it respectively, the experience deserves that much at the very least. What you bring to it, on every level of your life - makes all the difference.

There again - more worry. Drop all expectations, smile, go.

It can rip you to pieces, welcome it, let it. Forever and ever, around and around we go, hand in hand with the Mystery. You're here talking about it, so you see - you're back to tell the tale. Just remember that as powerful as the experience can be - you come back, maybe not the same individual you once were, but you come back still breathin'. Be thankful for that, give it time, contemplate, then when you decide to go again - at least the next time around you'll have a small sliver of an idea of how powerful it can be..

<3

I was talking to a friend yesterday and came up with a pretty decent analogy. DMT is like the door bouncer of sanity. The second you have enough of it in you the doors are opened and the bouncer throws you right out the door into the street. When you have got yourself back together enough he'll let you come back in. Until then you're out in the void.

If you read through experiences on this site you will find a lot of what you are describing mate. It's really common to think you are either dead or have killed yourself and to not even know who you were before. It's not every day we get grabbed by the back of our pants and thrown out of our minds. Now you have experienced it once you will know next time (if you can remember). It may still be a little scary, but not terrifying like the first time. The trick is learning to relax and let it go. Let the fear go and just accept whatever happens. Know that you are safe. If you are still thinking you can't be dead after all. Accepting these sort of experiences is a personal journey and no one can really tell you how to do it. You can read other peoples anecdotes, about how they deal with it and the rituals they do to prepare themselves for it. But the only person who can discover your path through the void is you. Should you wish to even make that journey.

Onthekarm has a really good point there. You don't really even know how much of the stuff you are doing. That's kind of risky business mate. Not many of us here would eyeball crystal DMT dosage, it's pretty potent stuff and the difference as little as a few large grains of sand can be night and day.

Great advice

I will find out today how much I actually took when I see my friend. All i know is it was enough for two people to have three pulls each.

I was reading your thread yesterday and held my comments, thinking you'd start working your way through it, and I see you are doing better. Happy for you.

Most of what I say is my blah blah comments, but before I get to that, here's the important stuff -

Read what Tatt wrote. 3 or 4 times. Immeasurable wisdom there. In fact, go to his profile, read the Tatt-man's last 10 comments, multiple times. Then read them again. He's that important.

Now, back to my blah blah -

Sometimes you just have to sit back and say "What the xxxx". Fill in the blank with your favorite. I'm an incredibly vulgar person, so, not hard to guess what I say.

But, you spoke of wondering about dead and dying - you're not and you didn't. You're here. Living breathing writing wondering what the xxxxx.

I'm not big on explanation points and smileys, if I was, I'd be pouring them out.

Smile at it. Laugh about it. Tell us, all of us, about it. We love to hear it, because we do it too...

But mostly don't listen to somebody like me.

Listen to Tatt, and others of his ilk. They're important. And the Northerner knows, too.

Oh, and don't forget to thank the Nexus. For everything.

Thanks for all the support guys. I have been thinking about this since I done it. I am looking at it differently now I cannot wait to jump back in And this has changed me. I cannot pinpoint how, but it has. I guess because in my trip I was dead, was sure I was. I now respect dmt more than ever.

Thanks for the report!

Take your time to process all this, it can be a shock to the system because it's just... so far beyond incredible. DMT's reputation of shredding worldviews is well deserved.

Going back after such a difficult experience takes balls of steel, but there's a good chance the 'entities' will reward such courage with something much gentler... no guarantees though, it can vary wildly.

Maybe next time combine it with Harmalas (Rue tea for example), lower the dose and measure, quiet dim environment, some Palo Santo in the air etc... good luck!