Although I am an experienced traveler, I will always feel like a noob. It's as if all that exists is this moment and I'm just nothing...
You can read my first DMT experience here:
https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=75854About me... here it goes...
10 years of higher education to know nothing. Quarter life crisis hits hard. Panic ensues. Lifelong chronic depression gets worse. Smoke some weed. Feel better. Day later, feel worse. Keep that up. Start boxing. Train and study and do research. Poker face.
Shrooms take me to the place of my dreams. Become Alice. Take many more shrooms. Become the Mad Hatter. Take more shrooms at lower doses. Become Alice/Mad Hatter super hybrid. Take DPT, shit my pants.
Art and music save me like the bell. Quit boxing. After an LSA trip decide a life of love is more important. Start a novel. Start developing PC games. Produce EDM. Start learning how to draw. Become overwhelmed with ambition. Take more shrooms. Doubt self. Create less. Get Zen trapped.
Stop taking so many shrooms. Write more. Keep making music. Learn how to cook. Meditate ferociously. Run often. Feel more stable. Plan for the future. Read HPMOR. Watch all 9 seasons of The Office. Climb Colorado 14'ers. Smile often. Cry sometimes. Love my parents. Develop stronger relationship.
Take DMT. Holy Hell. Realize my strength. Understand pain. Write much more. Write 50 pages more. Take ayahuasca twice. Much enlightened. Take mescaline and LSD for the novelty. Have fun but learn little. Take a smaller dose of DMT. Smile.
Write this.
Edit: It takes just a puff of DMT to instantly remember the space… it has not left… it is real… it is not just a memory… and I instantly latch on to my normal reality and avoid taking that next hit. The illusion protects me like a warm blanket. I remember how real the space really was… I am humbled instantly. I remember the alien I am. I would do a bidding if it were so called yet it seems I am free… my curse… my gift…