Friends,

please don't judge or laugh about my story. It's about a DMT experiences I had last week and I needed
time to understand what happened. My logical educated mind still can't believe it.

Situation:
* As usual I prepare one volcano bag with about 25 mg. Before, I did Chi Gong and a little bit mediation.
* With opend eyes the "folded beings" appeared and it was a lovely situation.
They are kind, sensual and and very old...
they are excellent teacher even I currently don't conscious understand them.
* After 10-15 minutes, reality had me back.

* But this time I had the feeling "I need a second bag with 25 mg".
* I was a little dizzy in my head and not 100% sure if I should do it, but I did it.
* The folded beings come back, but this time they showed me that they have also a more complex appearance.
* I was deep impressed about their new beauty. I thought to myself "this was unbelievable but in a couple
of minutes it is over"
* And then it happened!!! I take my last deep pull from the plastic bag.
Two meters from me something appeared. It was God and his/her creation?!?
* All I remember that I folded my hands and I repeatedly say "Oh my god" or "my god, my god".
I prayed, I welcomed, I shivered, I feared, I sweat, I cried it was not possible to face God but I can't
see away. Don't get me wrong: I'm not religious and I never pray. Ah, God is not an old mean.
Not in my experience.
* The bad thing is...I can't remember what I saw. All I can remember is my reaction and my feelings.

And now...I sit down and think and think. I'm very thankful that (may be once in a lifetime) I could
experience this. But what was it? It works inside me and the rational part of me deny it and is ashamed
about my prays.
Argh...
I wish I could share this experience with you...not only with words and letters.

This reminds me what Immanuel Kant say:
"What should I do?"
"What could I dare to hope?"
"What could I believe?"

Ram Dazz

BTW, this wouldn't be possible without my DMT Shock/Trauma I had before. What I trying to say
"in every disaster is the nucleus of the truth".
BTW2, if I could I would avoid the DMT disaster because it is painful.

there is a way i believe, for one who has died, to bridge oneself back into that state without actually dying, this would go like this in my mind:
situation develops into a very advanced, expanded, yet fragile structure
only then upon self-awareness of "impossibility of such structure existing" one meets annihilation
upon annihilation all is revealed
and upon return all is managed the way they should be

sorry for being vague, it'll lose its meaning if i further define it

The best example of instant karma was when my dad was outrageous and up to hitting my sis or brother (hard to remember) and while he was executing his leg kick he lost all balance and wacked himself on the ground hurting himself. But that aside.
[luckily dad was not always aggressive like that, yet he had issues.]

-

On topic: only once in a deep aya ceremony I felt GOD or his presence/radiance and all I could think was like: C'mon this can't be true, is it like that after all, is it really like in all those tales I don't subscribe to? I was actually a bit disappointed that is was true

Like you I did not see "him" (or whatever), no light, no sound, no god showing off. Also felt not as an entity**. I did notice (ahum notice? LOL) god's eternal grace and a sort of his decision of him (it?) to make his entry to me, on that particular moment. There were no words send, no message send, just as if he only wanted to illustrate: Here you go, now go do your home work, now you have a point of reference.

Thinking back now years later I dunno what to make of it. An emotional hallucination? Something real? It felt much more than real, and I felt healed by it, astronomically humbled, non-judged and understood, .... you know.
That particular feeling has never happened again, not even close.

I did not became your typical "God believer" after it, but what never faded since is that testimony of an individuality within creation-at-large, and that his individuality differed from mine after all. Blows my mind. That exactly was the deep reason of my "C'm on this can't be true" reaction, that there is individuality still on that level, kind of a disappointment really, like in: f*ck does it never end?

** Maybe an entity just pulled my leg in his God lookalike energy-suit, I dunno.
Maybe I filled in the dots myself to much of a mere neutral bio-mechanical flooded experience? I mean maybe there was a release within myself and started automatically to interpret it with components that fall in such scale.
I keep all options open and all I can do is look at them all and can't decide.

Hi Jees,

thanks for your detailed posting. "Partly" a good description what I did experience.
Your reply and the reply of espahxxx is very valueable for me, because I thought I'm the only one.

Let me ask you "How do you incorporate that experience in your daily life?" Hm...just thinking about to open a new topic?

I have also met god (many times actually) and for me god have manifested itself as an extremely bright white light and it was filled with so much pure unconditionally love towards everything and I once got "a taste of it" which was so profound at the time being...

But then the last time it happened, I saw an eye as well that where observing me and then, Bam! From nowhere I got this extremely strong intuitive feeling and I suddenly just KNEW it was Me (with capital M and not my ego me) looking at my ego self. And I realized that it is true, we are all one and our True Self is god/the existence/everything. It was no question about it anymore.

That was an extremely important insight for me and it helped me to let go and I went completely ego death into a truly non-dualistic state of consciousness but with a profound feeling of "I Am" .. and that "I" was the whole existence (I don't like the word god because it is filled with so many strange ideas and a lot of people have very strong opinions about that).


First of all, you are not alone experiencing things like this and you are not crazy or something

But what I believe happened was that your higher self, i.e. god or whatever you want to call it (that also is my higher self btw), gave your ego a nudge just to get you of balance a bit. So you start to question your "everyday ego life" and start to pursue the quest that the real You wants your ego you to take.

Or to rephrased it in words that doesn't challenge the ego to much. It was your subconsciousness that just told you: Hey! There is more in life than you know of, start exploring your inner space. That is awesome, just look at this experience.

It all depends on How Do You Define Yourself?

Much love, take care and have fun enjoying the ride!

guys, nobody here watches the preacher? currently on tv, 2nd season, but of course other possibilities for watching it do exist perhaps.

if you are interested in discussing the topic of "searching for god" in any way, it's simply a required material on the topic (it's a comic adaptation, so perhaps the comic books are good as well, woudln't know, not in a country where the comic book industry thrives).

Thanks for the hint...and I watching it. Very interesting with surprising turns and answers!

What I trying to say (and maybe you also), what we do and experience with DMT is great but we shouldn't do it with
to much seriousness. If the DMT experiences are just funny pictures and a joke...it is also OK for me.
BTW, now I wouldn't use the word "God"..."holy experience" fit better.
Thanks