Well guys, I had my first DMT experience last Monday and I am still not quite back.

Here is some background as I think this will provide context to my story. I started a relationship with shrooms last October and after falling in love have 100+ trips in the banks of my memory. They helped me significantly with my so-called depression and nihilistic/mechanical western world view. I became very passionate about Zen which led me to a weird spot- I was constantly seeking the spontaneity that shrooms provided during and some time after each trip and found the enlightened state beautiful- in truly losing the separate ego- yet I was chasing "nothing". It made life feel as if it were just a game and it was hard for me to take anything too seriously. Which was nice sometimes, but I struggled to be sincere and although I wanted to express compassion, I was constantly blowing up any ideals. So from then I can admit I was seeking purpose.

I have had a couple drug-related breakthrough experiences in my life, 2 from DPT (didn't remember much) and once with MJ after a long stretch of microdosing shrooms which surprised me.

Excited to try DMT with an intention simply of curiosity and to perhaps grow and get out of my Zen trap, I prepared the trip with a 50mg dose. The first go I didn't breakthrough but felt just about what I expected. A super weird speedy, pumping body feeling with a dim mandala forming with closed eyes. I tried again with the same bowl after waiting until baseline and felt less. Third times the charm, I reloaded the bowl with a fresh 50mg. I do not remember any of the transitional period... straight to hyperspace. Then somehow past it. So here's the experience.

Pain like I never felt before. After thinking about it some time, it would be most relatable to a constant electric shock. My ego was entirely gone, no sense of I, no entities, just the pain and what I could call visual patterns in darkness that were experienced physically. This felt like eternity. The crazy thing is I felt as if I had been in that state many times before. I could not think, I was not present... just the extreme pain and some very weird alienlike patterns moving at extreme speeds and intensity. The only way I can describe this place is an energy-soup of hell.

Coming out of the experience into my body again I was ecstatic, I said "I like thissss" with an alien voice and then kept saying thank you, thank you, thank you because feeling normal felt so much better than where I was. My ego half returned after a few hours and that's when I became horrified at the hell I just experienced. I had nothing to blame for the pain as it did not feel intentional, almost like a natural disaster.

Now almost a week later I've got a smile on my face because I know DMT has changed my life bigtime. I now have the respect I did not have before and I can now appreciate how deep the rabbit hole goes. In many ways I take life much more seriously yet fear death no more. I realize how "specific" the typical reality/illusion is and am more confident with myself whatever that self may be. I've been motivated to change certain things in my life because I'm done pretending I'm ok with everything that happens. I will no longer fight the desire for action. I want to be a hand of change and will allow the Universe to work through me, however that will go. I am working hard again on my sci-fi novel of which DMT will now have a large impact. I believe in magic once again.

One note I would like to make... there is a feeling that the DMT onset gave me which I now find some words to describe. Last night I experienced the same thing (sober since Monday). I will call it the "Twilight Zone" effect. A feeling or realization that everything is totally bizarre and this begins to auto-resonate the mind as an intense rush... for just a second or two like a flashback. As if the illusion is what protects me from returning to the DMT space. Note that I've experienced similar (yet likely less intense) moments such as these throughout my life before I even started shrooms. Like waking up right before you totally fall asleep...

I will likely find myself trying DMT sometime again in the future, but will start with a much smaller dose. Would ayahuasca be a more... I don't want to use the word predictable... would there be less chance for that kind of pain?

Thanks for reading! I would love to hear any thoughts or suggestions!

Newfound respect, compassion, and progress

Update: Made a song to describe the experience best I can
song

Welcome. Great write up. Sounds like you smoked a bit more than your brain could handle but have responded wisely to it. 50mg administered correctly is quite a lot!

Many say they know intuitively when the next time - if any - to smoke DMT is, after a daunting experience like yours. The feeling comes, "do it now"! So wait for that time and don't force it. It's been over a year since my last attempt and I'm happily addressing certain issues from a sober state before taking the plunge again, if ever.

Namaste dreamsmaytickle,

your report sounds like an intense experience. Take your time on integration, it is all here, now.




.. beautiful!


Welcome to the nexus, tseuq

Happy to have read about your newfound appreciation of life and progress.

Welcome to the nexus, and wish you inspiration on your novel

You can get your nose rubbed in it good sometimes. The spectrum of experiences with dmt can range widely. Sometimes it can really kick you good, it happens [or can happen]. Sometimes dmt can be an extremely powerful and unforgiving mirror. Start smaller dose and work up.

Thankfully most of my experiences with dmt and changa have overall been positive. I've had some rough ones, but with those I got a new amount of respect for the experience.

I had the same feeling of electrocution last night. it was intensely painful as you describe but also nothing at all, its almost like i became the pain and it felt so good.
i remember asking the presence if this is what it feels like to be in the electric chair.

I really don't know where to begin with these experiences.

Very happy to read all your replies.

Shocktopus, I'm sorry you experienced that pain. I hope you can learn from it even if it does seem totally without reason. I have integrated my experience more well than I ever thought I could. Hell has sprouted roses.

The way I see it, sometimes there needs to be some dischord to appreciate the beauty of the eternal sound. tseuq said it, here and now really does come through, every time. The experience of pain is bad, but the memory of it is a lesson. Arriving at a new place includes bringing the old ones so that they may be tamed. Anything can be overcome.

Sometimes a little Hallmark wisdom does everyone a little good, but my friends find me intolerable

---

Sustained patience, compassion and humility

Such a poignant, well versed quote. And highly relatable.

Woah.. those moments of verbalizing personally unorthodox words/sentences can be super odd.

I'm glad to see I am not alone in experiencing the Twilight Zone effect. I actually have stopped doing DMT entirely for 2 year now because it was getting so frequent and intense I was becoming scared just living every day life.

For me it would come on as I am hearing words and the words take on new meaning and it is very shocking then i start to question reality and then anxiety skyrockets... ahhh ptsd!

With 3 months behind the experience all I can say is wow. It is almost a joke because no time has really passed if you know what I mean. That one experience seeped into every aspect of my entire life, even changing the way I experience time, hell I've been time. Writing my sci-fi novel (120 pages finished!) has certainly helped work through and address many of the concerns and deep rooted fears that the DMT experience really seemed to dig up from the Mind at Large. I know writing can be very dependent on excessive thought but I highly recommend it as a tool for discovering where you've been before... it can be nice to find familiarity. It also helps to fully appreciate the story life is currently telling. It's honestly helped me understand certain things more than psychedelics ever could.

I cannot say I'm a better person from the experience as I no longer believe in the true individual or even most of what I used to, but it sure is a treat this very moment to be able to look back at my life so far and say with sincerity "Wow. that was pretty damn awesome." I wish the same for everyone but wish to let you know this whole thing isn't wasted on me. The spaces of the DMT experience become surprisingly more incredible with experience as the mind embraces the bizarre and lets marvel replace boredom. I like where I am but I'm no longer afraid to ask- what's next?


The "Twilight Zone" feeling has slowly dissipated and I haven't had one of those moments in a good while. Working through the subjects and dilemmas of my anxiety seemed to help greatly over time though it did feel like a lot of hard work. Paradox used to terrify me, but now I see it as simply a symptom of illusory convictions that can actually be reconciled. It seems reality is just way weirder than can ever be thought and I'm not complaining!


Keep up the awesome my friends. Say hi to Vishnu for me.

P.S. Here's the new book cover!

dreamsmaytickle, it sounds like you are very satisfied with the way you have dealt with and reacted to your painful experience. I had a severely painful DMT trip several years ago and it took me much longer to make any sense of it. I'll share me thoughts on that experience, without the expectation that anyone will actually read this excessively long post:

Your experience of pain reminded me of an experience I had some years ago. A friend who shared my interest in psychedelics unexpectedly obtained some DMT and asked me if I wanted to use it with him. My psyche was in a rough place--I certainly wouldn't have taken a longer-acting psychedelic for fear of a bad trip--but for some reason I agreed to take the DMT. I think I was just looking to spice up my life a little bit. Well, my trip was pure pain, a burning feeling all over my body. It hurt like hell and when it was over I was elated, also saying thank you repeatedly.

I had this feeling that the pain center of my brain had sucked up all the DMT, leaving almost nothing for my visual or conscious mind. That experience showed me that each sensory system responds to DMT independently. Many travelers have discovered that, to some extent, they can control how visual, cognitive, physical, or aural a trip is. For me, this is done by paying more attention to a particular sensory system. For example, the harder I focus on my thoughts, the less visual, aural and physical the trip becomes.

When someone is unfamiliar with DMT, it is hard to intentionally direct one's attention because the experience is so novel and overwhelming. One's attention is simple dragged around by the many mind-blowing facets of hyperspace. However, this doesn't mean that an inexperienced traveler's attention cannot be completely focused on one sensory system. Highly focused attention happens, just not on purpose. If a traveler becomes highly focused on pain and pays little attention to the other senses, the trip can be consolidated into nothing (or almost nothing) besides pain. All this can apply to a traveler with any degree of experience, but I think it is more common with newcomers, which includes myself.

From this perspective, the cause of an extremely painful trip can be attributed more to the mental mechanics that create a psychedelic experience, as opposed to the subjective circumstances of a particular individual's reality. Does this matter? I really have no idea.

Lol, ur description resonates an impression I got from DMT. Just a small scene where there's a void and swarms of bulbs that look like H.R. Giger snakes battle out each other for fun. The funy part is that DMT seemed to be both mocking me and showing why video games and their competetive nature is so addicting apparently it is an inherent in nature to battle each other out.

I think there are possible places in the universe where creatures exist that live in a primordial hell. One such places could be the black holes. Whose to say these are not the anti-theses of suns in which demons reside. In our life we experience a lot of pain and we make choices to avoid pain or that cause pain. Could be so that if we end up making choices that cause pain that after-death this simulation is repeated to it's extremes. Idk, such are the impressions I gain after reading this.

Also, I am starting to suspect that the astral nature of the world is surrounding us at all times. And the brain can when triggered in the right way remove it's barriers on perception by default. I'm not sure what kind of resultation will come from that if it happens naturally.

OP if you PM me that cover without the text I will make you a cover with proper text if you like (for free). I have experience with Kindle publishing!

Will be interesting to read a book inspired by DMT for sure. I have a self published sci fi book also! I had to make it simpler to understand from the feedback I got before publishing it. I feel "unawakened society" just can't understand even fiction written by people who have had psychedelic, mystical, or even experiences from long term meditation.