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Aya Part two.. revenge of the coffee Options
 
Metashaman
#1 Posted : 5/20/2017 5:15:59 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 170
Joined: 15-Apr-2017
Last visit: 17-Jan-2021
I returned for another 2 day session and honestly was sadly disappointed. Though I now have replaced the Nexus motto with Drink Moar instead of Smoke Moar.

Where my first set of journey's had a lot of contact with entities and had "her" present. These latter two did not have as nice of a journey in store either night.

The first night was.. all me. But a Godzilla sized one yelling at me in my own head. Weird stuff like "tell your boss about xyz" and "clean your garage" which I assumed meant clean up my messes. It came on like a hurricane of static and then it was listening to my subconscious rage for a while. I do remember a specific that disturbed me. For the first time it felt like the normal "entity" that was about to keep me from "over yelling at myself" was missing. Even on Hoasca, I always had something telling me "it will be ok".
Right about 10 minutes after the hurricane began, the shaman was doing individual icaros for the people there. I could barely open my eyes. He blew the drink at me and it snapped me right out of the hurricane and I had about 45 minutes of peace to talk to myself about things I wanted to change or things I was overlooking or things I really needed to be more careful about. I got the distinct feeling the brew was different. It came on much stronger than even the first time breakthrough dose and then went away promptly in 2.5 hours. It seemed like there was too much DMT and not enough MAOI.


The next night was supposed to be special, my sibling came down to do 2 nights with the first being with me. The night before I got a hotel for us both (for me to recover and for them to find me before we went back to the huts. I was exhausted so I napped until 3ish, and filled up one of those hotel coffee single serves and drank about half. I still wasn't all that awake.

We finally drove back to the encampment and I got to introduce them to the group and the shaman. One of the leaders there took them and had a chat about experience etc. I told them it was a bit weaker and wasn't as pleasant as my first trip down.

They separated us for the night, as they do with most couples so they stay in their own head. I went up first, the night was young and I was resolved to taking the amount I did the very first time I had done "la medicina".

My sibling went up about 20 minutes later (after 12 or more people went through the line.. then we waited sitting and looking at all of the "tribe" we would be partaking with that night.

I heard my sibling purge within 10-15 minutes, but it was getting pitch dark. I hadn't purged since the first time, and I was beginning to get "very tired", instead of fighting it I put my head down. I distinctly remember a circle of eyes against the blackness it reminded me of the eyes on the loading screen here or full metal alchemist doorway, and thinking someone was shining a flashlight on me, but when I opened my eyes the room was still dark.

I was so tired and concerned for my sibling. I trusted the sitters enough to let them take care of them if they had issues. I kept feeling the pull of death.. it was so peaceful and quiet compared to the start of the initial icaros. All I thought was. Ok I can die and cross over now, I know this is all in my head.

A few moments later, my subconscious piped in again "Hey man, don't panic cause that wouldn't be good, but your heart rate is out of hand a bit. Sorry no breaking through today, you have to stay awake and monitor this." It was done in a way where I was completely at peace with it in a "panicking would only make it worse". So I let the fear pass over me and outside of me and was able to try to go limp like a leaf in the wind and just enjoying the imagery behind the eyelids, checking my pulse regularly and letting my mind wonder. The problem was, even going completely Zen, the rate and the ferocity was still high. My mistake was not telling a sitter until after it was all over, because in my head I wanted them to take care of my sibling and not worry them about me. That night my "greater self" let me be. It was nothing but self calming thoughts and that "I matter too".

I had a realization that night, that I was only down there for my sibling. That I had already gotten what I needed the first time a month or so ago and that I wasn't "dirty" enough to be doing it again. That I put my life in danger trying to help others and they would have been ok to come alone. That I needed to stop trying to protect everyone I knew at my personal expense. That I had responsibilities to my family and that is who I needed to concentrate on.

A few other realizations. People need to be on this path and if they are, they will find their way to something that will let them know about this stuff. Until then, it is truly their own journey. That this stuff messes up a lot of people on an OK path. I have always felt like I have made life improvements due to these materials, however I am very much of the Terrence mindset. Don't do them all the time, but when you do.. "Do them right". I wasn't allowing myself enough time to ground after the first. Also, the first night seemed to get rid of a lifetime of pain. Compared to that.. a month where I was in love with the universe and believed I had been told the mechanics of it all had nothing.

This last 2 nighter I did get my life cleaned up quite a bit and then started chopping wood where there was a large wood pile piling up. I had a hard time working or doing much else after my first experience.

Luckily after it all, it seemed like between the 5 shaman led aya rituals in a month. I lost my pain and gained my chopping wood abilities and passions back.

1. Healed a lot of pain. Had a divine experience.
2. Finished with questions.
3. Got to continue love from night 1-2
4. Yelled at myself.
5. Put myself in real harms way (though I had coffee before ceremony and never had an issue, but it was more like 5-6 hours rather than 3-4 before).

After the 2nd hour I became concerned with my sibling. I thought they were dealing with too much because they stopped the shaman and talked to them (which you don't do) and they (unlike me) speak fluent spanish. I understand a lot and can talk some, but I couldn't hear what they were saying.. for the remainder of the night I just thought about them and tried to send them good thought through what I thought was too intense of an experience. The down side of that was... they purged all 3 times they drank within 15 minutes and they weren't feeling anything. Also they started them off on 1/2 of the amount I took on my first night. My sibling started getting to the "talking to yourself" part but then the individual singers took them out of that Their next night wasn't much different other than drinking moar.

I learned that the "here" is easy to deal with and the "there" is easy to deal with, it's when you are about to be there, but didn't Smoak/Drink enough, that things can get messy. The middle area between here and there.

Also, it does seem like lower dosages you get to have a conversation with yourself and normally (with enough MAOI, I think) you feel like there is something else there with you.

At higher dosages that "something else there with you", can show itself in whole and the "greater you" that normally talks to you is there with that entity.

I also learned.. even if you do Aya a lot.. you still have to follow the non standard food rules even if it didn't have a reaction before, it could the next time based on the plant combinations.


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DmnStr8
#2 Posted : 5/20/2017 7:15:57 AM

Come what may


Posts: 1698
Joined: 08-Mar-2015
Last visit: 23-Mar-2019
Great trip report! I enjoyed reading that!

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"In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
 
 
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