Hello, thank you for taking the time to read my recollections.

For scientific purposes, it is generally preferred to have one recall their experiences with psychedelics shortly after hitting basline. For existential integration on the other hand, recollection may best be found a very long time afterward.

This thread is dedicated to my recollection of an experience which truly deserves an entire lifetime to integrate. I hope it will serve as a meditation on integration and perhaps bring us all closer to that....
what is it again?

Breakthrough, the plunge through the waves of unfathomable dimensions of bliss and deep into the singularity ocean.

The description of the ROA basically looks like what I imagine many members of the nexus are perfectly familiar with. Acacia extract, smoalked through a Vapor Genie, sitting on the bed of my bedroom. This was nearly 2 and a half years ago at this point. Since then i have taken the occasional ayahuasca analogue and mushrooms, but I have not worked with breakthrough levels of smoalked DMT since this experience.


What I am coming to realize is that the mere solid memory of the Singularity itself is equally as valuable as the actual experience. It is so difficult to grasp that memory.

Why is this?
After discussion with another member in the Chat, it became clear that those memories themselves need to be integrated in exactly the same way as the initial experience.

We actually forget the experience for a very good reason. There is more work for us to do here on earth. That experience, I believe, is always available through meditation (though catalysts appear to be necessary at the end of the day.) However, the Singularity and the Infinite dimensions of Bliss and Terror as well as the Peace which comes from undergoing them are absolutely a far greater catalyst on us than any we can find to reach them.
The Breakthrough, I believe can happen even as few times as once to make a permanent impact on life.


I've found the only descriptors I can find of the experience tend to dance around the point. The conclusion I have come to is that the experience of Singularity and the ROA itself are completely separate. The more I remember the ROA, the less I can recall the true impact of a breakthrough.
The more I recall the experience associated with resisting the singularity, the less once again I can remember the singularity.

The point is, the make-up of my experience report would pretty much just be a description of resistance, and then the immense comfort that comes with returning to familiar territory.

On the other hand, the implications are far deeper than that blanket statement. I had a conversation with a member here who had a prolonged experience of repeated breakthroughs, and a literal death experience during an oral ROA of Acacia Confusa, which showed me that though the singularity I have experienced definitely seems absolute to me, the human left back on earth (me) could have potentialy gone far deeper than I did. Why I didn't go any deeper, and why to this day I still only have brief memories of the singularity is that I wasn't ready and that I still have more integration to do. In general my path was laid out clearly for me to understand when I came back to reality, and here I am walking it.

I believe that the Singularity as an experience is itself a conscious entity. A perfect intelligence. It is completely separate from the apparent story which led up to the first contact in human eyes, and when those human eyes gaze upon it, i believe it becomes absolutely excited to act on the incredible benefit which it is bound to give via the incredible bliss and insight which is it capable of bestowing. Because of this excitement, we then return home, faced with our life and the future. Integration is definitely a critical process due to being not completely aware of that benefit once we return to reality.
Of course we would be fully cognizant of that benefit during the experience? A brief moment of being aware of incredible waves of self-fulfilling bliss and then awareness of a singularity seems to have that sort of time-transcending sort of awareness. So we then come home and are left with a faint memory.


I've found however that we have been bestowed with an incredible blessing to experience this. Most certainly the most beautiful flowering of a feedback loop of benevolence and love I can possibly conceive of. I mean this as sincerely as possible. Truly I love all of you here at the Nexus, the great benefactor to my soul and presumably the whole world's. My life harbors that infinite well of love and truly I can say I owe it all to one experience, the Breakthrough.

Thanks for readin'
Blessings,

Cube

Excellent post cube.


Perhaps this could be the groundwork for a comparative analysis of the individual take-home experiences from psychedelics as a whole. I know what you mean about the totality of the experience and how that shapes the overall understanding of everything, from the psychedelic experience to just life in general.

For me, the breakthrough isn't a singular moment, or a specific point in a trip. It is the place without words, that leaves you wondering what on earth just happened. It doesn't necessarily have to be a colourful visual fest, but more about the simultaneous absence AND presence of self. The I does not exist anymore, but the Eye is still seeing.

...we feel you

I think people's memories are shoddier than they tend to give credit for. Memory as we typically experience it is expectation based. Particularly as newcomers, recollecting breakthrough experiences are next to impossible. When there are a number under your belt, they become easier to remember, albeit still a bit abstract to put to language at times. We also expect language to do more work than it has the capacity for. I haven't tried virtual reality, but my guess is that if you put on some VR glasses, and were put in an abstract holographic world, that whatever descriptions you came up with would fall short of accurately painting the picture for someone else. Then there's also the issue of recovering multidimensional memories from a mundane 3D vantage. There's likely to be a good deal of data lost in translation.

I agree with this.

As we must learn to let go, or benefit from that, also about the analysis
I do like to investigate but in a let-go platform nonetheless, fascinating yet just that.