Thats good to hear and yes obviously being yourself is positive, if someone was always happy there would be something wrong. I just got the impression you were harking back to where you were a while back, which wasnt as positive as ive seen recently from you, and tbh I thought back then you seemed quite sanctimonious and arrogant, which im sure we can all get when dealing with the unbeleivableness of spice to a certain extent, but you didnt seem as negative recently then you made that post. Im glad you still feel positive or eh yourself lol im not always positive christ, who is? Being humble is a good thing, specially dealing with these things.

Just remebered there I was telling my mate about you last night, weird, when you smoked it at giza, just remmebered it was you that done that. I dunno if you dont think it can help you or depression then just leave it but your issues dont seem to be with spice or this site tbh moreso yourself. Good luck! Hope you find what you need! Peace!

Shoe, you're being an ungrateful jerk. When you were PMing me about your depression, I gave you all the advice I could. Talking to you about that was the inspiration for my proposition of starting the healing section on Nexus, and I put a lot of stuff on there in the hope that it would help others who were in bad times like SWIM was before. Doing that was my thank you to the Nexus because people here teaching him how to make DMT had changed his life forever. I could've been doing stuff I enjoyed instead. Why I'm even bothering to write this, I don't know.

Hearing you say stuff like that- anger directed against SWIM and others who have been helped by DMT- is a slap in the face. So it worked for some but not for you, why are they the bad ones? Sounds like your anger is jealously because it didn't help you, which is ridiculous. I nor anyone else said it would work for everyone, and nobody said it's a cure all by itself, and I never told you it would work for you specifically. Actually I recommended you the yellow book (Feeling Good, David D.Burns), not to smoke DMT, and therapy if the book didn't work. I've said again and again that DMT kickstarted SWIM out of the rut so he could put into practice what he'd learnt- I never said it cured his depression alone. I almost wish I hadn't bothered spending that time trying to help you out now. That's what you're teaching me here- to just avoid negative people, instead of trying to help them.

Did you ever actually get round to reading the yellow book? That's all the 'education' you need to not be depressed. If you did in earnest, and it didn't work for you, then I would recommend you see a psychologist and if that doesn't work I guess a psychiatrist (last resort) to get you out of your negative mindset if you want out of it. The book has been proven to be as effective as both therapy and antidepressants and tells you everything you need to know, so I'd be surprised if you have really tried it in earnest.

I have the right to speak my mind back now that you have, but consider this tough love rather than an attack. I hope you do find what you're looking for.

I learned to avoid negative people a while back ohayoco, after dealing with some folks claiming to want to use plants for their benefit but to me it seemed to be just another ego balm.

Maybe is a bit of attention seeking and a cry for help dunno? Peed me off too mate. I remember you said you were going to read paul mckennas get confident book. I was waiting for your updates but they never happened, neither me or the mrs read the whole mckenna book I read the first three chapters, wasnt for me. It was my gf´s. Shes plagued by depression from time to time so ill defo check the yellow book ohayoco cheers. Ill let you know shoe if the yellow one helps my gf, cappi certainly did! Good luck, best ridder of negativity I found was high doses of psychs! Good luck mate, Peace!

I got quoted mid-edit there.
It was Shoe who got McKenna's tapes, not me, he told me about that too. McKenna is a magician not a psychologist. That's like getting your hair cut by a shepherd. I have been told by a psychologist that the yellow book (Feeling Good: The NEw Mood Therapy, David D.Burns M.D.) is one of the only worthwhile self-help books available.

Ill defo check it out because the paul mckenna books pish, total gobbledegook, well it put me off from reading it with his terminology and yes you probably have a point, he is a magician-hypnotist, cheers.

This wasn't directed at you personally, ohayoco. I remember your PMs, I bought the david d. burns book, I read a little of it.
The point I am making here is that: You don't need *any* of that crap. I don't need the david d. burns book, because I say so.

Its a bit late now! You go on a bit from the above, trying to get me to read it again it seems.

Let me just make extra clear my point, not aimed at you but for others to read:
ditch all your self-help books, they are not helping!
Im finding this hard to express, but Im sure somone knows what I mean.
Lets see: Reading books on how not to be depressed merely keeps you in the beleif that you are infact depressed, or something like that.

Ohayoco: I don't know what happened, how I got myself out of that state of mind, perhaps it was infact your help and the encouragement from others on the nexus and ayahuasca forums, maybe it was just through sheer willpower but things now are *so* much better than those dark ol' try-to-destroy-myself days.

Don't feel that you have wasted your time, just because of one sarcastic post from me.
As much of a contradiction to my view on dmt for depression, I love the idea of healing, and the healing section on the nexus! Its brilliant.

Yeah, but it does come with a self-hypnosis CD. Im a great beleiver in self-hypnosis, because as a child my mum made me a hypnosis tape and I remember listening to it every night.
It was mainly to relax, focus, expand your mind and improve your memory, but it was awesome.

McKenna's hypnosis CD didn't really make any improvements in my life that I noticed, and he claims to be able to change your life in 7 Days, but I didn't find any noticable changes.

However it did start me thinking about the things I wanted, not what I didn't have: it does contain steps for a good mindset. Think about what you want - You can have it! Be happy, even when there isn't anything particular to be happy about.

good luck with your g/f, infinite I.
maybe she needs to start fufiling more of her own goals and live more closely to her values?

That is so awesome Soulfood, welcome to the cause man. Indeed volunteering at an organisation definitely is the best place to start that's how i started out when i made the decision to change my life and to do what I'm really passionate about. I'm also going to be studying my diploma at home as it works out quite nicely as i can still work and study but i probably wont have much of a life for sometime to come but that's fine with me as I'm not much of a party person any way (I love to keep to myself, Im a real home body.) :b I know that I'm going to have to give up a lot to make this happen but its worth it in the end. Good luck with your course and if i can help you out with any advice let me know k.


Much Peace and Sunshine

yeah I am studying from home as well...my school is in santa cruz and I am in Vancouver so the only way I can do it is over the computer...lots of reading and homework..but it works because I need to identify different herbs and such and I live right beside a real big nature reserve...

Conservations sounds cool..I think I am going to try to get a job doing gardens for at least the spring..not sure how much there is to garden here in the winter..but I took a class last spring on organic gardening and tree care..

A line of work that will have great potential in the future will be rooftop gardens. Learn how to best use roof space to grow your own vegetables, and turn it into a business. Win win for everyone, cooler/warmer temperatures inside the building thus less heating/air conditioning costs, increased life of the roof, less run off or\f oil and pollutants from the streets, and fresh vegetables that one can eat themselves or sell to local restaurants or farmers markets.

Fractal Enchantment

May I ask what you are busy studying? Studying at home definitely opens up more options to work if I need to as well as giving me an opportunity to focus more and to not get distracted in any way. :b Ive wanted to be a conservationist since i was 6 years old, I used to dream about saving the whales with Greenpeace. Organic gardening is awesome i hope to one day grow my own organic veggies so i can be self sufficient, good on you dude.


Much Peace and Happiness

Ayahuasca cures depression.

This is scientifically proven.

I couldn't agree more with this. Anyone that believes they are the messiah after smoking spice needs an extra hour to come back, maybe two......If you think you are the messiah and have never smoked spice, well, that's a whole nother thread.

"Fractal Enchantment

May I ask what you are busy studying? Studying at home definitely opens up more options to work if I need to as well as giving me an opportunity to focus more and to not get distracted in any way. :b Ive wanted to be a conservationist since i was 6 years old, I used to dream about saving the whales with Greenpeace. Organic gardening is awesome i hope to one day grow my own organic veggies so i can be self sufficient, good on you dude. "




Im taking a 12 month course called master herbalist right now, it covers chinese, european, aurevedic and greek herbalism...then I plan on going back to my local college after to do some more cultural anthropology classes and sociology..I did some anthropology already and studied shamanism and witchcraft specifically for a semester in a religous anthropology program..but I wasnt getting to study the plants in the way I wanted to so now I am doing herbalism..for now. I took some philosophy as well..my interests are all over the place but they also all relate to each other in the end..

Really What I want to do is be well rounded in culural amd religous anthropology, get my degree in herbalsim and maybe take an ethnobotany class and study some sociology...

I dunno what Im going to di with all of this but I will find something..

haha I want to save whales as well...I love whales and dolphins sooo much..I belong to the ocean so they are like my brothers and sisters..I wanted to be a marine biologist since I was a kid..I dunno why, bu I have alwasy loved the ocean..before I ever surfed or skimboarded I still used to go to the beach and swim around for hours looking at starfish and jellyfish etc..

I volunteered for a while at the Vancouver aquarium and took classes there when I was in hish school, but I left becasue I cant stand how they keep whales and dolphins in these dman glorifies bath tubs, and I never went back there. I now refuse to ever go to an aquarium or Zoo ever again...

Fractal Enchantment

Wow man that's so awesome herbs are amazing healers, Ive been greatly fascinated by ayurvedic medicine for some time now as well as ayurvedic astrology its incredibly precise in its philosophy. Anthropology is also a great love of mine, studying ancient and current indigenous cultures really opens up all the old knowledge, the deep connection with the earth and the magic that humans used to have but sadly have mostly lost in our current modern culture. I admire all indigenous cultures around the world for those specific qualities that they possess, as i hope to grow those qualities within myself. Ethnobotany is also a very fascinating area of study as it really incorporates all of our ancient plant knowledge, which is greatly valuable to know and investigate.

I'm sure with all of your broad scope of studies you will be able to pick and choose what you would like to do. Wicked man good to hear there is another whale and dolphin lover around, indeed i do to feel as though whales and dolphins and all the creatures of the sea are my brothers and sisters. As i have always had a very special connection with the sea ever since i was very little. Its not easy to volunteer at places like aquariums and zoo's or even animal so called sanctuaries.

I know exactly where you are coming from as i to volunteered at an animal sanctuary that was in fact more like a zoo than a sanctuary and release centre as they would keep the animals for two to three years in enclosures before even thinking of releasing them and by that time the animals had lost most of their natural animal behaviours and they were so used to people feeding them, so they weren't in any state to be released. They would have people coming in eg: schools and groups of people to came and pay to see the animals which is definitely not a correct practice for an animal sanctuary so i couldn't bear it any more after three months of volunteering i left as i felt even though i am making a difference in the animals lives if i am volunteering there than i am condoning what they do and what they stand for and i couldn't condone their actions anymore so i left.

Indeed zoo's and aquariums I don't agree with them at all they state their whole reason for existence is that they can educate the public about wild animals but where there is a huge problem those animals in the zoo's and aquariums arent wild animals any more their behaviours have been changed and modified by their very unnatural conditions, so what is the point in showing people and teaching people about unnatural animal behaviour of animals who are depressed and enclosed in a very unnatural habitat with a very low quality of life? Sorry for going off topic in this thread. :b


Much Peace and Happiness

ya watching a beautiful orca swimming back and forth in a bath tub with a curved dorsal fin makes me cry...there is nothing "wild" about that.

I'd like to add, that doing what you know is for a good cause, like trying to save the whales, fighting landfill sights or whatever
really makes you feel better about who you are, too.

That has to be one of the major differences about who I am now, and who I was when depressed: im doing something worthwhile now.

^yes that is very true..when we feel in conflict with what we are doing it holds us back from growth.

Fractal you are crossing a dangerous line

What, agreeing with me? lmao