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alkan0id
#1 Posted : 5/6/2015 10:09:07 PM

hitchin' a ride

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Location: bat country
OK, First off, I'd like to preface my first (very long) trip report on this site with a safety warning:

On Saturday we had a heart attack, two hyperslaps and a very distressed member coming on chat urgently needing help with a friend/partner freaking out on LSD. I'm writing this warning partly because one of those hyperslaps was dealt out to me, and was fully deserved. My utmost gratitude to dreamer042, Pandora, DeDao, universecannon, AcaciaConfusedYah and everyone else who helped me during this very difficult experience.

What I did leading up to and on the Saturday just gone contradicts the encouraged safety practices here at the DMT Nexus and as such I urge anyone who doesn't already employ the proper safety measures not to approach entheogens and the preparation thereof in the way that I describe in this report. I do not feel it would be acceptable or responsible to post this trip report without also including a clear admission of what I did wrong and a strong encouragement not to do what I did. The suggested safety measures are based on common sense and experience (https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/DMT-Nexus_Wiki:Health_and_Safety), and cannot be overemphasised. Here's a quick run down of the ones I recently broke, and will not be breaking again:

UNSAFE/ILL-RESEARCHED/RUSHED EXTRACTIONS

Always make sure that you understand the composition of all the materials and chemicals you are working with. This site promotes the use of glass above plastic for extractions involving non polar solvents, due to the risk of phthalates leeching into the solvent and thus into the DMT. This can happen without you even knowing, but worse than that, some plastic lids flat out dissolve in NPS, causing an otherwise airtight seal to leak plastic-contaminated solvent and basic water everywhere and into your spice.

MINDSET AND ENVIRONMENT

I undertook this journey in an environment that is not sufficiently or consistently peaceful enough to take strong psychedelics in. I get intermittant invasive noise from the apartment above mine, which bothers me at the best of times and I just so happened to pick a particularly bad day on this front to go tripping. Fearing this would be the case, I was not as relaxed and centered as one should be before journeying. Always ensure that you are in a safe environment before taking disorienting doses of psychedelics.

OVERZEALOUS/RUSHED (RE)DOSING AND COMBINING OF SUBSTANCES

I have been heavily criticised on this front by people recently, and for good reason. I knew it was an issue all along, but did not heed it, just complacently assuming that I would be OK no matter what, for no logical reason. The mantra to apply here is that you can always add, never take away. A boring/unsatisfying trip is always a better outcome than a freakout. Also, never combine substances that are known to be contraindicated (such as MAOI with SSRI), or substances with an unknown interaction profile.

SELF-IMPOSED PEER PRESSURE/GROUPTHINK AND OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOUR

To a newcomer to this community, one can be easily allured to the point of giddiness by the startling array of knowledge of various plants and substances and ways of administering them that people have to offer here. I see the chat as a highly condensed form of the knowledge on this site, and at times I find myself unable to read and absorb the information that appears on my screen as fast as it is being typed. That is to say: there is a whole multi-coloured galaxy of uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, leaves, seeds, vines, and barks out there and this site can open your eyes to them very rapidly - so rapidly in fact that it is easy (for some at least) to slip into a process of thought and action that gets obsessive and hasty. A desperate feeling of needing to "make up for lost time" and explore one or many of these exciting substances for the first time or after a long break can become overwhelming to the point of putting oneself in a dangerous or even life-threatening situation. Be aware that this can be a highly influential community, and that obsessive thinking can lead to obsessive actions and back again in a self-stoking cycle. As I remarked once on the chat, "You come on here looking for help with a tek, and before you know it you're planning your own toad farm..."

So a reassuring word to anyone who is new to this stuff or for whom it has been "far too long" - you have a LIFETIME to try it all. And this means a lifetime to research and understand a substance before trying it. People tried to tell me this, and I didn't listen. But I see it now. If, like me, you have ever felt "information overload", take a step back and allow yourself time to process it all. Before even considering experimenting with a certain substance for the first or even the hundredth time, ask yourself honestly WHY you want to. The effects of psychedelic substances can vary HUGELY from one to another - even between substances that are chemically or botanically very similar. I will go into an example of this in more detail in the following experience report. Always ensure you know what you're taking, how much you're taking, and WHY you're taking it. If the only answer you can come up with is because "a hyperdimensional toad bot told me to", it might be good cause to rethink your motives.

=============================

And with that out of the way, I will try my best to describe what happened inside my head on this most recent (1p)LeSaturDay. Apologies in advance if this report is too long, and/or comes across as overly detailed, wordy, egotistical or religious. I write from a position of honesty as an imperfect human being who wishes to share his experience with like-minded souls.

I had experimented with 1p-LSD on two previous occasions, both times at a dose of 100µg. The first experience was amazing - my first taste of a lysergamide in over 10 years, but the second one two weeks later was largely underwhelming. It was still potent, but lacked the pizzaz and visual beauty of the first time, and at no point could I just let go and enjoy the experience. True breakthrough was no achieved, and I couldn't connect to music at all. This time I wanted to make sure that I broke through, so planned a dosage of 200µg, 50µg every 45 minutes.

I carried out this schedule with my usual geeky timekeeping accuracy. I usually like to start the stopwatch on my phone when i first dose, but forgot to this time. This proved to be just as well, since I lost all concept of time for most of the trip. As notable with the previous trips on 1p, music "didn't work" until the wave of coming up anxiety had run its course and blasted through to the other side. As with the other times, i found the coming up rather difficult, but it was helped I think by the staggering of the doses. I watched some Family Guy as i chewed through the second and third half-blotters, laughing like a mad man waiting for the inevitable time when my full attention would be demanded by the drug.

As mentioned earlier, a very unpleasant environmental disturbance impinged itself upon me some time around the third dose, by which time the anxiety of the first two doses was in full swing. I see the coming up as like being blasted into space on a rocket ship - a traumatic, shaky, uncertain rush through the atmosphere followed by a blissful and tranquil break through to the other side. After that it's all plain sailing. This however, had not happened yet, and I still had half a blotter left scheduled to be taken at 15:30. I began to question if I should take it, or if I should have taken anything at all in these sub-ideal circumstances. I was quite withdrawn from the chat by this point, and when I closed my eyes i sunk into a mad rush of super-fast, yet coherent thoughts that didn't seem to be my own. They explained that tripping this hard in a bad environment was all part of the lesson I was currently going through, and that everything was the way it was for a reason.

The final 50 mics looked so lonely on its own, so was taken on schedule. It's round about this point that the concept of time gets hazy. Breakthrough to the other side I believe occurred shortly afterwards, and the extreme tension and irritation caused by my neighbour above me transformed very rapidly, catalysed by the continuing stream of explanations of wisdom that were being pumped into my head from this unknown source. Sadly I forget the exact way this was put, but it was explained to me that sticking by one's principles in the face of adversity was one of the key tests that we are put through as human beings - a test from God if you will. All my doubts and worries about this trip and dosage being a bad idea all vanished and were replaced by this understanding. ".. THAT is the gold", I was told. All worry and confusion evaporated at this point, and what seemed like a nightmare situation flipped over into an amazing victory in the space of moments. Coincidentally, (?) the seemingly neverending sonic torment from above me ceased, just as the inner torment in my mind had. The rest of the trip from this point on was absolutely gorgeous.

Closed eye visuals, which had been very nice and engaging during the first trip on 100µg, were taken to the next level on 200µg. More complex and intricate fractal patterns than before, and music hit me at a deeper level. But what really made this journey orders of magnitude more powerful than the first two times was the level of SURRENDER that had happened in me to the psychedelic experience. I periodically returned to chat between closed-eye daydreams spun by these super-fast thoughts and failed utterly to convey what i was feeling. I kept saying "breakthough" - that was the key word here. The first time on 100µg was a partial breakthrough, but that was mere tourism compared to this. This time I had actually let go of a significant portion of my ego and was letting this "voice of wisdom" play with it and guide me, with no fear whatsoever and a mounting sense of joy and understanding. This was being wasted on sitting at the computer, I queued up some more music as best I could, and went to lie down.

This voice of wisdom, which had been absent (on an emotional level at least) on 100µg, plumbed itself deeper and deeper into my consciousness in a way that was not scary in the slightest. The mad rushing thoughts spun a web of "moral inventory" for lack of a better term, but instead of the usual self-deprecating wall of judgement I often get on cannabis
or DMT became integrated with a flood of empathy and burgeoning self-love. I started to weep with empathy for the victims of the Nepal earthquake, and it was suggested to me that going over there to help would be an extremely healing experience for me due to the huge amounts of suppressed empathy it would release in me. The weeping was really intense and tears rolled crazily down my face and neck and onto the pillow. Chronic once said that no lysergamide trip is complete without some tears. How right he was!

The connection with this "voice of wisdom" continued to deepen into the peak, as the joy and euphoria build to a maximum point of the trip. The "voice" then revealed himself to me to be God, and that He was always with me, and would always be with me, but also that he WAS me. I still don't quite fully understand that part. One of us suggested that we be friends forever. The other said "yeah, let's". Beautiful visuals accompanied this "divine accord" and more tears flooded down my face. Then it felt at times like it was fading, and I wondered if the peak was now behind me. But suddenly a short time after this, I got a final peak altercation with God, where He performed what I can only describe as a Vulcan mind meld with mine. It felt like my limbic system was being directly stroked by some divine energy that flowed into me and explained something profound and reassuring to me that I have sadly forgotten. I will know it again one day. We all will.

On the way down from this peak was where the real transformation occurred. God filled me in on a great many unanswered questions I have had for most of my life. The fallacy of my hasty approach not just to entheogens but to life in general was exposed and explained. I was shown how almost every belief I have about myself and life in general was a total lie. I was told that my life begins now, and that the past is not a reflection of the future, and that because everything I believed was false, this meant I had a very bright future indeed. That I was and am truly blessed. The phrase "many happy journeys" was planted in my head. That is to say, this was just the first of a long sequence of journeys that I would have my entire life to enjoy.


My questions were answered before I could ask them, yet the verbal interchange between me and "God" played out like a dialogue all the same, somehow:

"But what is the point of all the pain I've been through? The resentment? The disappointment?"

-"That was for character building. That is the gold."

"But what about what you promised me that time I was on MDMA at that beach party? That was 10 years ago and it still hasn't happened?! NOTHING has happened. I'm still stuck in this nightmare life that I have no control over! Why??"

-*laughs* "My friend, don't you understand that not one second of time has elapsed since that moment? Your life begins NOW, remember?"

"OK, I understand it all now, but why only NOW? If you had given me what I needed back THEN I'd already be happy by now."

-"Yes, you would. But you would not have built all the character you have now. You will need that later. You would sooner have the life of who? Christiano Ronaldo? He's bored s***less now, let me assure you. He's had his life - yours is yet to begin. If you do everything too early, you regret it because there's nothing left to conquer in later life. You have nothing to worry about, I've got it all planned."

Any question, it gave a perfect answer. This began a process of reflection that is still ongoing now, and will probably continue for a long time. The entire underpinning of my sense of self-pity, self-righteousness, resentful and victim consciousness has been smashed to little pieces. All of those negative emotions hinge on a system of BELIEFS which has been proven to be FALSE. I was overjoyed at this breakthrough state, overwhelmed with a sense of victory that I had found what I had been looking for in these psychedelic substances. I had been searching for healing, and I believe I got that, but what I got above all from this experience was WISDOM.

Sadly, it wasn't enough wisdom. As the 1p-LSD wore off quite rapidly over the next couple of hours, my ego re-emerged from its hole and started taking pot shots at all this happy news, and doubts and questions quickly formed in my mind over what this "Divine Wisdom" had imparted to me. By T+8h30m from the first dose I was pretty much baseline, and feeling the need to recapture and transform what I'd just been through into something else.

This turned out to be a very foolish decision, hence the safety warning. What happened was that I went to the entheogenic casino, won big at the 1p-LSD table, then haughtily strutted my winnings over to the Acacia table and lost my shirt. Let my experience serve as a warning to those who would do the same. I dosed 200mg of harmine, 3 bananas and then half an hour later 100mg of Acacia Confusa trunk bark extract of unknown purity as fumarate salt. I had also been eating hefty amounts of cacao nibs all day to see what effect it would have on the 1p-LSD, but also knowing from experience that it massively amplifies the intensity of harmalas and DMT. As if this wasn't already stupid enough, I re-dosed another 100mg of the Acacia extract before the first dose had kicked in. Then the first dose kicked in...

My first worry was the wave of nausea that hit as the harmalas started to do their thing in my stomach lining. I hurriedly prepared drinking water and a purge bowl and jumped back into bed to brace for the coming s***show. I left the bedside lamp on to ward off any nasty spirits. Hahahaha. As if that would work. The return of closed-eye visuals announced the arrival of the spice. These were nice and entertaining at first, but definitely more intricate and darkside than the warm, euphoric 1p-LSD visuals had been. And then lots of rapidly shifting ancient Greek and Roman-looking statues being rapidly superimposed and inserted into each other in bizarre configurations. All this I could handle, but this was all pre-flash stuff. When the flash hit, I was in a world of doo-doo.

For me the DMT flash is usually marked by the arrival of the first entities. These ones, as usual, were not too friendly and would not leave me alone. I felt that if this got much worse I would have to go force myself to throw up before the second gelcap got digested. For some reason I thought I would be OK and decided to wait it out for now. Over the next half an hour or so the entities got more and more up in my face, and began to force extremely complicated and frightening visuals in my head. I normally just close my eyes and ride it, but by this point was so spooked I was trying everything I could to escape this trip.

Of course, nothing worked. Music. No Music. Closing eyes, opening eyes. Fixating on a random concept. The main entity "attacking" me had me completely surrounded in every dimension, barraging me with unbearably menacing and complicated visuals with eyes closed or open. I decided that I had to go empty my stomach now or be in big, big trouble. This did not come easily, but at least the act of running to the toilet and shoving fingers down my throat gave me a sense of purpose and took some of the edge off the nightmare I was facing. After getting as much jungle goop out of my system as I could muster in my discombobulated state, I went to wash the vomit off my hands and observe my tear-stained face in the mirror. Oddly I looked more together than I had done at the peak of the 1p-LSD, but in my mind it was the opposite.

I went back to bed, doubtful that I would got enough out early enough, terrified of the distinct possibility that I had signed myself up to a LONG journey to hell and back because of the cacao/harmala combo. At one point I tried to surrender to the experience, but the tripping was so hellishly intense I had to start fighting it again. It was at this point that I had my first brief encounter with the elves of which Terence McKenna spoke. I was in what resembled a kind of hyperspatial factory, and the elves were talking to me (or at least one of them was) in a very loud, fast language while I stared at some weird polygonal object in this factory with some kind of universal runic script written on it. I think they were explaining to me how their factory worked and what they were doing. I was too terrified to care.

Trying to just "ride it out" wasn't an option. I was losing all frame of reference and feared that I would end up handcuffed to a mental hospital bed pumped full of Valium - if I was lucky. Writhing in bed desperately trying and failing to escape this onslaught of serpents and elves, the only course of action I had left was to get on the chat and try to establish a connection to reality. This trip had a strong dissociative quality to it and I was starting to lose connection and meaning to physical objects around me, even though I could see them. Even the wires of my headphones looked like a snake as I ripped them off me.

For the next 5 or 6 hours I sat on the chat, desperately trying to ignore the rainbow carnage, too scared to close my eyes. Many of the lovely people on the chat helped me through it, and after an hour or two the open eye visuals faded. But what was bizarre was that the mortal terror - that feeling of being violated by pan-dimensional entities did not fully die down for many hours. I could see still a curious creature watching me menacingly like a hyperdimensional CCTV camera shoved directly into my pineal gland. It faded a little then came back in waves, each one making me believe a trip to the mental ward was still on the cards.

Finally I got to the point where I dared to try and sleep. Extremely warped and tripped out fantasies still pervaded my consciousness, but the fear had just about gone now. Around 16 hours after first dropping the 1p, I fell asleep. About 5 hours later I woke up, spun out and exhausted.

"Hey God, you still there?"

-"Yeah I'm still here, can you hear me?"

"Yeah."

-"Good, now get out there and build character."

======================================

I'm very lucky and grateful to be alive after this experience. It was a big wake up call in many ways and was definitely what I needed. I shall not be abusing entheogens again, I've learned my lesson. Had I not evacuated my stomach when I did, who knows what could have happened. I also learned that God has a plan, and that everything that has ever happened to me has happened for a reason. I have faith now. I still have a lot of questions, but not enough to stop me embarking on the path that I need to embark upon in life. That path involves leaving psychdelics alone for the time begin to integrate this experience. I feel that my appetite for drugs has been satisfied for the first time ever, and now 4 days later am not already planning my next journey. I'm happy for now to just leave them alone now that I fully understand and appreciate that I have a lifetime to explore hyperspace and there is no hurry. For now I have to focus on aligning myself with God's plan for me, and to do that I need a clear head. I know that I'll be meeting God again in the future, when the time is right...

Props to anyone who bothered to read all of this, I hope it was of use to someone.

Peace and eternal blessings,

alk
Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he load 40 milligrams or only 30?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is DMT, the most powerful hallucinogen in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
 

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Doc Buxin
#2 Posted : 5/6/2015 11:31:54 PM

Pay No Mind


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Holy guacamole alkan0id!!!

I'm glad that you're ok & have learned your lesson...

Take it easy on yourself from now on, please! Smile
Freedom's so hard
When we are all bound by laws
Etched in the scheme of nature's own hand
Unseen by all those who fail
In their pursuit of fate
 
tatt
#3 Posted : 5/7/2015 1:37:32 AM
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Most excellent report man, really well written.

Yeah, I think we all learn at some point regarding dosage, especially combinations of what to do and what you shouldn't do. Guess that comes with the proper research beforehand, but, we're all human and these things happen. I really enjoyed reading your little Q&A dialogue with God also. Im glad to see all came out well in the end though. Now it's time like you said, to apply these insights and get the ball rolling.

These experiences are so powerful, especially when we overdo it in some department and we end up flying right into the arms of the hurricane. It's good that these experiences happen though, because they 'can' be catalysts for enormous growth in your life. Take this gift and run with it.

Smile Thumbs up <3



 
Shanghigher
#4 Posted : 5/7/2015 9:28:46 AM

Burning the locals, abusing the tourists, terrifying the help.


Posts: 273
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Ahh, the old redose regret story. I actively hide my drugs from myself just I'm coming up so I have no chance of finding them again until I'm sober just in case I'm tempted to drop that other tab or some such nonsense.

I did exactly that before on an LSD trip, one I call "Last of the Summer Acid". I basically had a few tabs of 200ug each, and knew I wasn't going to trip for a while, so it was a case of do it now or chuck them out.

Unfortunately, my heart wasn't really in it after a long summer of excellent trips. I dropped 200ug, and was feeling somewhat uncomfortable around the 2 hour mark, so I did the worst thing possible, I dropped another 200ug.

What I then went through was an in-depth look at the two potential future selves that awaited me, the one that will try, and the one that will die. At points, current me disappeared to be taken over by one of these manifestations from myself. At times, the trip was glorious - unrelenting in my joy at the person I could be if I tried. At other times, insane depression and terror about the man I'd become because I allowed my life to go to waste.

After the first 8 hours or so, I ended up reaching for 30mg of valium, and haven't been over 200ug since. Even then, the trip got dark in places. At one point at the end of the trip, I was basically confronting death, dying in my body and my head over and over again. And this was with my two best buds and my sister in set and setting which was perfect. Then again, I have been doing through a lot of hypochrondria-related anxiety lately, so this was probably my mind's way of confronting it. The good news is I'm no longer afraid of death and I'm making strides to be the man who was happy in that first trip, but I'm still shit scared of the alternative.

Work in progress. My plan is to steer clear of big trips, all the other narcotics, and shit food while I engage myself on a programme of Tai Chi, good food, good times, hard work outs, and meditation. And then, once I'm settled in myself again, have a big ol' self congratulatory trip.

Plus side of that 200+200 one. At one point, I stuck on Beethoven. First time I heard it while tripping. I was listening to his 6th, which was apparently inspired by Beethoven going for a walk on a sunny afternoon. I couldn't fathom how one man can translate the feeling of joy such a walk can bring into something of such staggering genius musically, and ended up transplanting my own thoughts into the head of Beethoven to have a look around through his eyes. Or, at least I thought I did. It was rather something, regardless Very happy
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”
― Hunter S. Thompson
 
Pathfinder
#5 Posted : 5/7/2015 1:49:22 PM

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Not to make light of your experience but these lines cracked me up;

alkan0id wrote:

"You come on here looking for help with a tek, and before you know it you're planning your own toad farm..."

If the only answer you can come up with is because "a hyperdimensional toad bot told me to", it might be good cause to rethink your motives.

For what it's worth it sounds like you had quite the character building experience, great report thank's for sharing. Thumbs up Love
Shocked
 
RhythmSpring
#6 Posted : 5/7/2015 4:26:38 PM

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Alk, I am so glad you posted this. *raises hand* yeah, I'm the one who had a heart attack. I'd like to add something...

The time of the heart attack actually had been several days after ingesting any psychoactive. about a week before, I had taken some ayahuasca, and a few days after that, a *teeny tiny* sip of syrian rue, which had a surprisingly game-changing effect on my state of mind and body. Not a good one. Felt depressed, and like the spirit of Ayahuasca had left me.

Then several days later, I was contemplating going 2 hours away to a music festival at my old college 2 hours away, but I didn't go. *That* was the mistake that I made.

Yes, it is dangerous to mix or overdue substances, but I would like to point out that it's often not the substances that are the problem--it's how we act after these experiences. My mistake was cultivating a very healthy, open spiritual state, and not DOING anything with it.

My mistake was being alone in this entire process, not sharing it with anyone, except bits and pieces over the internet. My mistake was not fulfilling the desires of my heart that were awakened by my work with the medicine.

Stagnation is often more harmful than motion. Cushioning yourself from all perceived sources of stress is often more dangerous than engaging in stressful situations every day. Taking emotional (and in my case, physical) risks is often more healthy than playing it super safe.

What precipitated my heart attack was not anything fast-paced at all. I had simply woken up, drank water, and gone to my computer, wading through a sea of un-dealt-with loneliness. In my unconscious, lazy actions, the dam broke.

I had misconstrued the message from Ayahuasca that everything was going to be fine, and that I didn't have to do anything to be healthy. Well, that is only partially true. You cannot leave your will by the wayside, or else you will have no life. And it was rather easy for me to do that, having no job and not being able to be very physically active.

Integrate. Life is the most psychedelic experience you can have.

~~~

When you do these substances in a vacuum of familiar territory (alone and at home), you run the risk of being detached from a sense of purpose--being ungrounded. My best psychedelic experiences have been in unfamiliar external territory. Engage your entire being, engage LIFE with these substances. Don't heal and *then* experience life. Heal and experience life at the very same exact time.
From the unspoken
Grows the once broken
 
Swarupa
#7 Posted : 5/7/2015 5:07:19 PM
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Great indepth trip report alkan0id Smile

It sounds like you had a great time on the 1P-LSD but then the DMT trip after that went a bit too far and became quite difficult, i can only imagine oral DMT at the tail end of LSD!

I wish you all the best in integrating these powerful experiences, taking the time to remember the peak life changing states that you experienced can help with that, i'm sure you will come through it all for the better Smile

'pure as pure as pure as pure' Very happy

 
alkan0id
#8 Posted : 5/7/2015 8:59:22 PM

hitchin' a ride

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Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. I'm continually reminded of what a wonderfully loving and supportive community this is. I'm truly blessed to be a part of it.

Tatt: I totally agree that stepping over the mark can be rewarding - it certainly was in this case. It's not a risk I'll be taking again, though. The key word to describe what I've got from this experience (both the glory of the 1p-LSD and the ass-kicking of the spice) is "wisdom". The integration is well underway and I feel that my appetite for hallucinogens has been satisfied for perhaps the first time ever. Last night I had some of the most amazingly vivid dreams I've had in years. It's clear to me that I'm being led here on a path to better things.

Shanghigher: It's something we've all done, I'm sure. With my 1p-LSD experiences I have always premeditated the dose beforehand, and have never felt tempted to go back to the freezer to dose more than I originally planned. The "after dinner spice" however was also planned, and I think my complacency in dosing this stems from the fact that I have pushed myself right to the limit on DMT many times before, but never over it. I think over time I had developed the impression that I was incapable of taking too much DMT and that I'd somehow always be able to handle it. Saturday's trip was the first time I crossed the line of how much DMT I can handle. Now that I know that that line is crossable, my whole view of it has changed for the better. When I do eventually return to this substance, it's going to be low, low doses.

Pathfinder: If we can't have a laugh along the way, what's the point of going on the journey in the first place? I strongly believe God has a strong sense of humour, and rewards those who appreciate it. Me and you must have a very similar sense of humour to have put the same location in our profile??? lol

RhythmSpring: Really enjoyed your post, thanks - it really struck a chord with me since the the point you make about action and integration is one that has been heavily emphasised by the "voice of wisdom" both during the trip and ever since. I still have a strong connection with it several days later. It's still coming out with immediate answers to my questions. I don't necessarily like the answers it gives me, but I'm always forced to accept them since they make so much sense. "Don't heal and *then* experience life. Heal and experience life at the very same exact time." There is so much truth in that statement, and it's something I need to remember because the urge to take shortcuts and cheat my way through life is still very strong.

Thanks for the clarification on the heart attack. I was unsure when you first mentioned it how correlated it was (if at all) to entheogen use, but felt the need to bring it up just to highlight the general danger that these substances can pose, for example iboga and its contraindication for those with heart conditions.

Chronic: Thanks mate, and I agree. In the last few days whenever I start feeling atressed or anxious, I take myself back to that peak where I was in perfect alignment with the universe and had nothing to fear. I was reassured that everything would work out then, so it's just a case of keeping the faith during the difficult times. What's frustrating is that I feel so close to a major life breakthrough, but yet so far. It's all part of the test of character that has led up to this episode in my life. I feel like an exhausted marathon runner who knows he's only half a mile from the finish line but is on the verge of collapse. It seems to me that the human spirit, much like the universe itself, is perpetually resting on a knife's edge, yet never falls off.
Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he load 40 milligrams or only 30?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is DMT, the most powerful hallucinogen in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?
 
RhythmSpring
#9 Posted : 5/8/2015 11:27:41 AM

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alkan0id wrote:
I feel like an exhausted marathon runner who knows he's only half a mile from the finish line but is on the verge of collapse.


I know the feeling. Why not just dance? Forget about time, or the other runners. Dance your way to the finish line, because what really matters is if you're having fun. Spiritual development should be enjoyable.
From the unspoken
Grows the once broken
 
Just.Ask.The.Axis
#10 Posted : 5/8/2015 5:47:54 PM

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alkan0id wrote:
The key word to describe what I've got from this experience ..... is "wisdom".



Very nice report Alk. I'm glad you shared it with us, that sounded like a profound experience. It seems like you were Shaken Loose.


Something happens to us when truth is unveiled
and everything turns on its head.
The lamb becomes lion; the lion, a lamb,
and we are shaken loose, released
 
Ringworm
#11 Posted : 5/27/2015 8:00:55 PM

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Life isn't about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.
"We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."
 
dreamer042
#12 Posted : 5/27/2015 8:58:45 PM

Dreamoar

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Excellent report! Thumbs up

Quote:
there is a whole multi-coloured galaxy of uppers, downers, screamers, laughers, leaves, seeds, vines, and barks out there and this site can open your eyes to them very rapidly

This is an important point that I think a lot of us tend to forget. The amount of information here and the free flowing level of discussion can be incredibly overwhelming to someone first coming into consciousness of these powerful tools. Growing up in the era of Pokemon, for me it seemed only natural to take an approach of "gotta try em all". Much as presented in this report, I quickly discovered the wisdom of moderation and taking the leisurely approach to building a foundation of experience and understanding with these things.

Many people get understandably excited about first moving into these realms and overestimate their competency. We see it all time with the hurried extractions and the intention to dose the absolute maximum doses right out of the gate. I feel like periodic reminders like this to slow down and approach these things mindfully are extremely important, and for that reason I am stickying this thread as both a reminder to take it easy and as an example of what we look for in a quality experience report.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily...

Visual diagram for the administration of dimethyltryptamine

Visual diagram for the administration of ayahuasca
 
Ringworm
#13 Posted : 5/28/2015 11:01:43 AM

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Totally Dreamer. I came into all this at a time when most stuff was so rare or only known by old books, etc (ie we read about Salvia divinorum in Wasson and Schultes books, but no one had ever seen a plant).
As such, we naturally had to work our way into it. When the web tryptamine explosion happened there was a large adjustment to our behavior.
"We're selling more than a cracker here," Krijak said. "We're selling the salty, unctuous illusion of happiness."
 
downwardsfromzero
#14 Posted : 8/13/2020 9:08:36 PM

Peeing into the abyss

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This thread may be stickied, but it deserves a bump anyhow.


(Missing you, alk)
Ora, lege, lege, lege, relege et labora

“There is a way of manipulating matter and energy so as to produce what modern scientists call 'a field of force'. The field acts on the observer and puts him in a privileged position vis-à-vis the universe. From this position he has access to the realities which are ordinarily hidden from us by time and space, matter and energy. This is what we call the Great Work."
― Jacques Bergier, quoting Fulcanelli
 
 
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