Hello guys, I have a very serious matter to discuss regarding psychedelics and my personal psyche itself.
Ill start off with a little bit of background so you all can get a better grasp . I know this isnt dmt, but i cant post anywhere else even though ive been a member for a while now......

From last year around August, to the time of the incident (Feb?..) I was really into lsd. I had a very reliable supplier, it was always the real stuff. Never bought a hit or two at a time, usually would get a strip or two. Of course, not all for me.
Anyways, for the entire time period, id drop maybe once every two weeks. id do anywhere from 3-5. Greatly enjoying it, nothing bad ever happened.

Now on to the topic,

One night after work, I went to "X"'s house. I had gotten the strip of some "Good micro dot"
I was a little worn out so I didnt want to do the normal amount. Keep in mind, I've dropped atleast a few hundred times. So I decided to do 2, just to chill out and have fun and experience the experience ya know.

So, I dropped 2 and he dropped 3 around 11 or so, the normal time I drop. Im a night tripper, never been a fan of day tripping because everytime I trip in public, I feel like everyones laughing at me for some reason.

About an hour in, it started. Everything was going as it usually does with lsd. Slow melting movements, laughing historically, the normal. We decided to watch some DBZ. keep in mind, it was just us that night. No one else.

We turn on DBZ, and dear god if you ever watch it while tripping, it is hilarious as to the amount of still frames they add just for extra time haha. But, anyways, its all good.
We watch it for a few hours. Smoke some bud, do the normal. But then things got.. Dark.
fast.
I disconnected from the tv show and just started exploring my mind. Then something happened. Ill never be able to explain this.. Please, from here on out keep your mind open to what happened, no matter how crazy im about to sound. This happened. From my perspective, none of this is fictional. This was all too real to me. And to X.

It was around 1 or 2 a.m. The trip stopped. No come down, no falling asleep, it just. Stopped. The movement stopped. I felt sober. I felt like myself, I wasnt disoriented. We both looked at eachother in complete confusion. What happened? We both asked that. I just went along with it and said "Well that was a nice trip man, im gonna go to the restroom". I go upstairs and like. The trip was just over. Just like that. I went back downatairs, and here begins the horror.

I was sitting on the couch, and he said "I have something to show you".He plays an episode of dbz. It began, and it glitched out kind of. The title screen said the episode was called "Mistakes of last night"
I was utterly confused. He looked at me, as if he knew something I didn't know. The episode played, and full force, I was flung back into the trip. Like I've been punched with a psychedelic fist of intense power. The episode included a fight between Freeza and Goku.

That night, I was being tested. Something else was with us. Something evil. Something communicating through the tv, dbz, and controlling X.
X wasn't himself.. The whole time, I felt like he was in on it. Of course, the entity couldnt cause physical harm to me, so perhaps he used a host?.. This guy is about 2 or 3 hundred more pounds than me. He is a big guy. I got up to go get some water. I was nervous and very scared. He was in my way and asked where I was going. I didnt answer, and he looked like he was going to hit me so I put up my fists, kind of, just in case so I could defend myself.

He swung at me, knocking me on my bed. got on top of me and started to beat the fuck out of me. He got up and apologized, I apologized as well. I decided to stay down there with him. Then came the tests. In dbz, Goku, represented life. Freeza, represented death.

The clock read 4:00A.M.
Everytime I would make a mistake, Everything would replay. The episode would go backwards, me and him would both go in reverse. And the clock would reset to 4.

I know I know, ridiculous. Just, keep hearing me out.
Every time my will to live fell short, Freeza would get the upper hand on goku, and X would freak out and continue to hurt me. I was being tested. I was being punished. I let out all of my emotions and started crying, deeply. He got really emotional and I hugged him and he said it was okay, everything will be okay. Some blurry things happened, I dont recall it, but I had to endure ever bad feeling .The test was to endure it and prove that I had the will to survive. I threw up on his carpet, so I went to clean it up. Out of courtesy, I went to go to his laundry room (inside of his basement, where we were) to go wash it. I get in there, and he starts pounding the door. I rush to get it in there. the door slams open, and hes grabbing me pulling me back, punching me, my blood all over the wash dial for the washing machine
He threw me down and started to choke me with a pillow. I slowly slipped away, but I had to live. I had to prove to this entity that I wanted my life. In my mind, I could hear him mocking me. The entity. Telling me im unworthy of my life.

I was suffocated, punched relentlessly, had the air sucked out of me, had intense pressure built up inside, I was about as close to death as you can get without dying. I was screaming "He's trying to kill me, help" At the top of my lungs, over and over. Finally I got up, broke his pipe that was in there to defend myself against him. Finally I slip free of his grip.

I walked out into the basement room, lost all of my energy, and fainted. I then began to go into a seizure. Every part of my body shaking violently without control. I woke up in the ambulance. They told me if they hadn't gotten there sooner, I would have died from blood loss. They estimated that I had a good 15 minutes until I could have lost my life.

15 minutes, guys. I was there. I was at the edge. I slipped away momentarily while being choked on the floor, reaching for something to grab, something to just help me get a breath of air.

Some details that I left out because im not sure when it happened on the time line;
I spilled a full cup of water on myself. the entity told me I had to go through complete embarrassment. I had to. To prove I could live.
I got completely naked. Why ? for the above reason.
The entity told me I had to be completely embarresed, to learn a lesson. More or less, I also did it so maybe he would stop trying to kill me. So he'd feel to disgusted to touch me.
I cried and cried, yelling everything I regret in life.

Anyways
I havent touched lsd since. I never will. ever.

I come to you guys today, to help me. How do I get better. How do I let go. How do I forget such a traumatic experience. I now suffer from PTSD, anxiety, fluctuating depression, and fashbacks. As well as minor HPPD.

I know, you're not therapists, doctors, etc. But I want to come to you guys instead of a therapist. Because many of you can relate more than a doctor can to a bad trip.
This wasn't just a bad trip
This was more, and I need answers. I need support, I need someone who can somewhat relate. Some advice.

Ive thought about meditation sided with 30mg of spice once a month. Spice has always helped me overcome a problem, and it really is like medicine to me.

What are your thoughts? .. Once again, none of this is made up. although the whole "stuck in a time loop" situation might be hard to understand or believe, it was very real to both of us.
What do you guys think
How can 2 hits do this to someone whos done lsd hundreds of times.

Thank you guys for the read,
I appreciate it.
It was really hard typing this out..
-Pathos

Holy...

So I'm reeling from this report, and frankly only accepting it upon your claim of veracity. I have no advice, at this time, except maybe spice would not be prudent atm.

So, lmgts, you were injured by x, enough to nearly bleed to death. Did x have consequences for beating the tar out of you? Where is he?

Sympathies, man. Peace.

Well, the thing with DMT is that i use it purely for spiritualism practices. Almost liKe guided meditation. I dont really take crazy intense doses you know?
And well, x could have served 15 - life. I dropped the charges, because I didnt want to ruin his life over something that neither of us could explain. And hes a good guy like. He really was. I will never be able to understand what happened exactly that night, but whatever it was, it was clear that he had little to no control. He felt really bad the next day. told the officers straight up what he had done

He broke my cheek bone, suffered from an orbital fracture. almost lost my eye. And bruised bones all over my body
luckily no surgery was needed.

Wow, thank god you're okay. that sounds terrifying. I'm sorry you went thru that, and x is lucky that state didn't pick up charges.

How can you tell a horror story like that then say you only take dmt
, another super powerful psychedelic drug for spiritualism .
I'm confused about that. you might want to examine what your doing . After an experience like that I would stear clear of
everything for a good long while but that's me .
I had a bad experience last week where I was convinced I was
taken over by an insectoid alien entity. Afterwards upon careful
scrutiny I discovered I was using an extra potent changa blend . that in combination , put me into some kind of harmine overload
causing very aggressive feelings and a strong feeling of an alien presence. Hard to say what's real sometimes .
I think for mental health reasons it's always better to side
with rationality and reason in these cases . It's fine to lightly entertain the mystical but it can be a very slippery slope .
Mental health is always first and foremost no matter what.
Find a rational explanation for what happened and stick to that
Move on .

Again, I only use dmt for meditation. I dont use it to breakthrough. I dont use it to learn. I use it when im sitting down, eyes closed, and refreshing my entire body through meditation.
Although dmt is superpowerful, its not lsd
And the intensity lasts for 5-10 minutes. I dont use changa or aya, i vape, meditate, and for the next hour I sit there and go through a full cleanse.
But lately it hasn't been enough, which is why im here asking for advice. Ive already steered away from drug use, aside from maybe a snap of decent mary every now and again to help with depression.

hey pathos ,

what happened sounds awful ,

here is a simple explanation for all that , x is a psychopath or suffering from some underlying mental problem , after taking Lsd this mental condition was further exacerbated , leading to violence and craziness


furthermore watching dbz on the trip shaped the experience for the negative , its true x was not in control , but it was no entity that had taken control , it was delusion that had taken control

people who can't control themselves on Lsd are probably suffering from mental problems and is the reason why many horror stories exist

also the trip came down , not because the experience was over , the trip came down because a violent situation was soon to be confronted , Lsd has a way of turning down the volume if a serious situation presents itself

Lsd very well knew x was going to go crazy and that is why turned the volume down on the experience to better prepare you for handling the situation

over 500 Lsd experiences the only thing that stands true personally is ........never trip with other people , because people are crazy and delusional

Hey man,

I think I understand why you come here to ask for advice. The thing is, I'm pretty sure that nobody on here had to go through what experienced. So it will be hard for anyone to give you a really helpful advice. At least that's what I am thinking.

I also think that I, as well as most, if not all of the people one here, am unable to comprehend what such an experience does with ones self. I can only imagine that this will cause serious trauma.

Such a serious trauma can't and shouldn't be dealt with on here (imho). So my advice would be to seek someone who is able to help you in a professional manner. Really...that's my advice: Go and see someone who is able to professionally help people with psychic trauma because he studied it and it's his job. I know this is a hard step to take, but after the first talk you WILL see how helpful this will be to you.

Man...I wish you all the best on your way!

Oh dear Im sorry you had to go through such a horrific experience X clearly has underlying mental health issues and should never take psychedelics again. He had a psychotic break I am surprised he hasnt been evaluated at least..
.
LSD makes people very suggestive and sensitive to what is going on around us, peoples moods, atmopshere etc its possible you were sensing a disturbed tension building so your fight or flight response kicked in nullifying some of the effects of the acid, note I say some, while causing other delirium type effects.
A feedback loop and complete surreal perceptions is entirely possible in your traumatic state you would have been in intense shock no doubt I hope you make a speedy recovery. Ive had a delirious LSD trip too, thankfuly for not long but everything was looking 100% real, I was in a war zone being aprehended with massive search lights and had to skip around bomb craters it was f**ked up! My friend had a similar experience at the same time due to us just having met a policeman who pulled over as we were starting to peak hard and started asking us questions all the while having 'Frequency' by the Prodigy playing in earphones.

It would probably be a good idea to also persue trauma therrapies other than ehtheogens. I was looking into EMDR not so long ago, seems one to look into that may be of benefit.

Stick around, the nexus is more than just a dmtsite Im sure peoples different perspectives and wisdom can play a part in helping you heal many here have turned to psychedelics as an aid to healing and I see no reason why you shouldnt use dmt in the way you mentioned although 30mg may be a bit too high a dose if you want to just 'clear your mind' so to speak.

The theory is that emotional traumatic feelings are locked in the amygdala by fear, the fear prevents any emotional digesting and stops the memory being processed and diffused, part of the brain basicaly thinks its still happening to the sufferer. The idea is that psychedelics, such as mdma in MAPS studies, enables the memories to be accessed without the fear response being activated enabling the memory to fade and the emotions to get processed.
Good vibes your way for the recovery.

Sounds like your friend has some problems. You said he is a really big guy 200-300 pounds more well sounds like a fat guy, does he have eating problems? He sounds mentally unstable. He sounds like the only real problem you encountered during the trip. Get him some psychiatric help.

Some people cant handle LSD or even alcohol if they if they are manic depressive types..

In my experiance..Most people who do LSD arent violent types ..it sounds like your friend should stay away from acid for his and everyone elses good...

His mental state is not your fault.. nor should it sway you from doing something you like...

LSD doesnt make one violent... violence is an emotional imballence that needs treatment..

I really appreciate the feedback guys.. Really
I agree with a lot of what you said
The thing is tho, what im having the most trouble overcoming is just. The state of mind I was in. How so very real it was. How ill never be able to go back and change it.
The flashbacks are a huge part, especially at night. Ill close my eyes and try to think of happy thoughts. My girlfriend, friends, etc. But, then one or thought leads to another, and next thing I know, it just replays in my mind. Over and over. Then I feel my face, my broken cheek bone slightly pushing outward, and its a constant reminded that I was that guy. That I was that guy to lose it. Him to, but, im not innocent in the matter, I to tripped out really badly. I assume I was in complete ego death as well as close to real death.
Everyone who has never had anything bad happen to them, at least not this extent, I feel thinks it will never happen to them. I was that guy before that night. Its like when I think to the past, its that memory that comes up. As if its the only thing that happend in the past. That nothing will be the same, ever. I feel extreme guilt, and I think very poorly of myself because of it. I cant seem to move on and forget. But maybe this is what I need. to talk to people. I half ass'd the story to my mother. Its embarrassing to tell her everything.. But still. Im not comfortable talking to people about it who are close to me. Im always so worried as to what others think of me.
This is helping a lot. Just, talking about it. Venting to you guys. Something I haven't yet to do.

Excuse my spelling errors by the way. On my mobile, I don't catch all the typos haha.

But, again. Thanks.

Any suggestions on how I can stop thinking about it? Perhaps I need to spend more time with other people.
I havent done much after it all happend, so maybe I just need to create new memories to push it back further and further.

Flashbacks will occur with PTSD until the emotional blockage has been cleared and the memories can be shifted, dont blame yourself in any way, you have nothing to feel about about or get down on yourself about you just ended up in a bad situation, its enough that you were close to losing your life so be kind to yourself. I think the only way you will let go IS to talk to people about it.
Is there anyone you trust you could have a quiet low dose MDMA session with and just talk about what happened?

EDIT: As Nathanial said its probably better to err on the side of caution and dont touch any mind alterers for the meantime..

It's totally natural that you would have symptoms of PTSD after an experience like that. Getting beat up, while in a state of profound psychosis would be traumatic to anyone.

I think swearing off all mind altering drugs might be a good idea, including DMT and MDMA (which another member suggested). It's obvious that there was something pretty profoundly weird going on in your brain recently, and possibly still is, and dropping a psychedelic on that is risky.

As for your friend, it sounds like he needs some kind of help. Possibly for untreated psychiatric issues, but at the very least, he too may be suffering some kind of trauma or guilt related to his actions. If you don't feel comfortable reaching out to him, maybe get a mutual friend to do it.

Lastly, it's possible that what you took was not, in fact, LSD, but some other strange RC, and many psychedelics can play badly with cannabis, so that may have increased the mindfuck.

Sending prayers your way, it sounds like a really rough time.

Blessings
~ND

EDIT: 5-HT mediates aggressive behavior, and since most psychedelics work on the 5-HT system, it may be that use may be related to abnormally aggressive behavior, although normally serotonergic circuits inhibit aggression, so maybe I'm barking down the completely wrong tree.

I just thought of something that might help you it randomly popped into my head, you should go join a martial arts or brazilian jiu jitsu class so you can fight with people everyday and get over these problems, pretty sure physically tumbling around with some other strong people could help your situation.

Timeloops are a moderately common experience with high dose psychedelics. I don't know why. The flashbacks will subside over time; likely it will take a few years to feel like a distant memory. There will be phases of intensity and phases of feeling like you're totally over it, only to have it come back full force. Anxiety and PTSD are common side affects. Anti anxiety meds can help, if only to make you feel like you have a mechanism of dealing with things should they become too intense. That in itself is very soothing.

LSD absolutely has the potential to bring out very dark experiences. Speaking from my own perspective of tripping many many times and feeling like knew the experience well, there have been a couple instances in which high doses of LSD have brought on really dark perceptions which lasted for very long periods of time and took all my mental will power to keep at bay.

I think laying off of LSD and perhaps entheogens in general is a really wise approach. I had a ex girlfriend who, while we were together, got stuck in a timeloop off of some powerful L. Even into the next day she was still having conversations from the previous night and hearing the music being played, completely oblivious to me even being there with her and taking care of her. She came out of it after a day of so, but the next time was not so lucky and ended up in a mental hospital for three months. Very tough experience for both of us.

wow.. holy crap dude. and here I was thinking I will try LSD after my first shroom trip.
thank you for this post. I'm not sure what to say, I can't imagine what I would do in a situation like that.... stay safe, life goes on.

Why?

From what I read you are blameless. It's definitly not you fault being beaten up by someone suffering from a psychotic episode.

Damn man, everytime I come to this thread and I imagine being in that situation, it makes my stomach turn over.

But really, you mustn't blame yourself for what happened. It was NOT your fault.

That's some batshit insane creepy story right there. At first I misunderstood and thought that when you went out of the room and got back, you saw basically the past, like you saw you setting on the couch with X watching DBZ again. If that were true, I'd go insane.

As for the advice - it's true that I'm no therapist, however one thing I can tell for sure. I've almost never had bad trips (except the ones when my mom kept calling me on phone while I was on shrooms), so I can't say for sure, how to handle such an experience. But in this day and age of information widespreed I believe that probably the most important thing about considering using enteogens is being self-aware, i.e. being able to reflex on your actions not only towards your mental health, but also towards other people. Be whoever you want to be, do whatever you want to be, but always be self-aware. By that I mean that X was not possesed, he's unfortunately latent schizo, and if LSD(!!!) led him to such batshit insane stuff, then what could possibly happen to you while taking some shrooms? He's not self-aware.

If you have no trouble handling yourself while being outside of the known realitiy AND being able to keep your priorities straight that is "paying bills" before "travelling in the hypespace", then you should have any problem with entheogens. But considering how dark your experience was, I strongly discourage you taking any entheogens whatsoever, let alone Spice.