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Pharma on Saturday night Options
 
AcaciaConfusedYah
#1 Posted : 5/19/2014 3:32:10 PM

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Hi folks, friends, allies, and any others that claim else wise!

I had a pharma experience, Saturday night, that I would like to share.

I'll give enough background to fill in some gaps:

August of last year, I had an experience on mushrooms that changed the way I chose to view myself. I was presented with three individuals - The addict, The observer, and the late-40's working class family man. I was told that these three individuals compose who I am. I was given a breakdown of the "self," and this is what I was working with at the time.

The Addict to Impulse: Was the part of me that craved thrill. Adrenaline junkie, for sure. Think of all the things that come to mind when you hear the word addict. That explains this character. Skinny, scarred, scared, and wild - With the fire in its eye, and a blade in its side.


The Observer: This character is my favorable representation of the body, the word, the eyes and ears of the self - The holder of curiosity and wonder. It has been around this planet for a very very very long time. It loves balance and progression - furthering and expanding the understanding of all things encountered. It is a chemist, a curator, and a cultivator. It holds the passion and the dance of life.

The late-40's working class family man: pretty much self explanatory - questions nothing, just does what he is told in order to sustain and survive. "Luxuries" of simplicity and complexity do not apply to this character. He works in an office building with many others. Nothing exciting happens during his day. Sometimes - late at night, as he sips his beer while watching a football game on the DVR - he wonders what he could have been if he had applied himself more thoroughly in his earlier life. The thoughts are quickly interrupted by the sounds of a screaming baby and a tired wife calling for assistance.




Pretty weird interpretation of the self... What ever it was, the mushrooms saw that it was important for me to understand things in this particular fashion. I interpreted it in many different ways. One particular view of this platform was past, present, and potential future, but I was also carrying all of those loads in the current self - at the time.

I was confused. I thought this could mean that I was schizophrenic, or had some issues with multiple personalities. Those are possibilities, I'm not willing to rule em out lol, but I tend to err on the side that I have a creative imagination and the mushrooms knew how to get my attention.

It worked. I realized that I had been dwelling on my past. I was allowing my past to paralyze me - Paralyze the present, and inhibiting the potential future growth. But.... what to do? Questions, many questions...

My understanding of the situation was that "I am the Observer." I always will be, and always have been. I may take on other forms, depending on the situation, but I am who I am.

I decided I need to make a change in the line up. I had to send off the addict. I had to send off the middle class working man. I have to be able to become the person that has defined me from the beginning of time, and those two were no help. I learned from them, and now it is time to move forward.

Around December, when I first met the molecule, I successfully transformed the addict. I was stripped of his presence from December until March 1st....(coincidentally, the day Mars retrograde began.) He was not sent back to me as the addict. He spent time learning the ways of the warrior. The addict ascended to The Guardian. He is my protector in the spiritual world, although after last night, I'll be a little more patient before I call upon him.

The working man was sent away, as well. I did not receive an upgraded version of him in return. Instead, I received an ascended version of my Grandmother - who passed away on the first of December. That's a whole other story.... I'll get there one day. To make it simple, her passing kick started my becoming. On this day, I learned that death is not what I had thought it to be. It is not something to be feared, but something to embrace with the love of those who once surrounded us.




OK, a lot of back ground before I even talk about last night. But, it's all related.

Last night, I felt like I was possibly getting a cold, or enduring some symptoms from possible allergies. In hindsight, I was probably just exhausted from being up all day working a charity event. I didn't go to bed early enough the night before, and got up 3 hours earlier than normal - 5am. Throwing off my cycle probably lead to to decrease in energy and stamina..... Mars retrograde could have played a bit of a role in how I responded...


So, I got home from the event and felt drained and a little sick. A thought flashed in the back of my mind.... I remembered reading that someone used harmalas to aid in healing from a common cold. I decided that I would give it a try and see what happened.

Customarily, when I feel like I may be getting sick, I make Rieshi(Ganoderma sp.) tea. After drinking the tea, the symptoms generally disappear within a day or so. So, i began making some tea! Its a 3 hour process, so in the mean time I decided to consume 110mg of full spectrum harmalas.

After consuming the harmala, I decided that 22mg of the molecule couldn't hurt! It would be a small dose, but maybe enough to loosen me up so that the healing can happen naturally, without a lot of intervention on my end. From what I had read, this is considered a pretty low dose.


I went about my business, aiming for a calm meditation while waiting for my rieshi to finish brewing. As I was sitting in silence, I was confronted by an entity. It was very very pushy and forceful - Nagging and obnoxious - Spouting orders as if i should accept its word as authority. The personality that this entity had reminded me of a military officer.

Initially, I entertained its requests and tried to accept the "advice." But, it wouldn't stop. I asked, "I've done what you asked, now please leave me alone so that I can work on healing." It would not take no for an answer, and began more intense bullying.

Finally, I had dealt with enough. My patients for this entity had grown thin, and I was getting angry. I'd tried asking politely. Polite wasn't working.

I called upon the The Guardian. Immediately, it lunged from my body, smashing the intruding entity against the wall. Its right claw wrapped around the intruder's neck, crushing its throat. The left claw was plunged deep into the intruder's torso, wrapping fractal-fingers around it's heart - squeeeeeeeeeze. The intruder shrieked and screamed as it was paralyzed in the presense of The Guardian.

This was fear. This was the same fear that it was trying to project onto me, only a few minutes prior. Little did it know...

"ENOUGH!" I finally said. "Cast it away!" The Guardian lifted it by it's heart and flung it through the window, out of the house, into the woods - then returned to me.

The anxiety and pressure that the intruder had brought on to me was lifted. I felt relief! Whew! With this new found relief, I went back to working on my rieshi brew. After about thirty minutes, I saw the intruder standing outside, staring through the window. A humbled look on its face. "I was just doing my job." It said.

"Fair enough," I replied. "I'm sorry I released the Guardian on you. Your tactics were not to my liking. I gave you the opportunity to be assertive and diplomatic many times before I asked my friend for help. I gave you the chance to speak to me on the level that I normally reside. It was not right for me to respond with violence, but I was being pushed to my limits. When you instigate battle, be sure it's one that you can win before you put on your war paint. Also, be sure it's one worth fighting for. Are you hurt?"

"Yes." It replied, with a shameful look.

"Okay, come on in. Let's dance. Let's dance together and heal each other."

The Intruder(officer) came back inside. We put our resignations aside, and danced for the rest of the evening....

Instead of healing myself, we helped heal each other.
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
 

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DreaMTripper
#2 Posted : 5/24/2014 12:22:19 PM

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A profound introspection and experience. Tryptamine influenced self analysis can be razor sharp and precise cant it.
Its a great feeling when you get in touch with your own ability to 'tap from the source' as it were, to realise you dont have to be the prisoner in any experience. Stepping off of the 9-5 treadmill or battling demons from other dimensions or accepting that past traumas are not going to hijack your energy and block your path.
The realisation that above all we are ameant to be free and we have the power to do this.

Did it seem like the intruder was a part of you or a metaphorical representation of such?
 
AcaciaConfusedYah
#3 Posted : 7/3/2014 5:08:10 AM

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I've been thinking a lot about this experience and your question, DreaMTripper.

I saw the response the same day you posted, but needed some time.

I think it was a reflection of needed truth to adjust some of my actions. I never mentioned what exactly was going through my head, or "what the entity was projecting in my head," that triggered my call for the guardian.

It was a series of visions of carelessness leading to a very unfortunate out come. Various different ways of my negligence reflecting in ways that could land my ass in jail.

What if some one broke into my house? The police come and investigate the burglary and find some spice precipitating or something careless, like that. BOOM. I'm done for.

I went and cleaned everything up. I made sure that there were no unfinished projects laying around.

Images of fear were still being projected into my mind. That's when I hit the point when I stopped being patient. Got the message - "be careful, dont sell the molecule, be mindful of clutter, be careful who you talk to about it, etc."

It was the tone and persistence that triggered my frustration.

Maybe I sometimes come across as over bearing, or intense. Maybe I am indeed the intruder, as well.
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
 
Jox
#4 Posted : 7/4/2014 3:30:46 AM

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AcaciaConfusedYah,

this thread is the example of what good work with pharma is all about, and not journeys to angelic spaces, I My Isolated Unhumbleness IMIU, lol...


even though you fought the "demons" in the actual trip, over time by integrating you experience, you came to a constructive conclusion, that it is all in you, IMIU.

I would have told you that at first, but it wouldn't have any importance, it is only you who can give sense to your process. I think this can lead you to a good attitude for next journeys, just to observe and not fight. Over time the demons will go away... This has been my experience.

But crucial aspect is that it changed your daily life: you became aware of reality, and became more careful. This is the mirror of the true work, more clarity and reason and happiness, however you want to define it.

And this is my unsolicited advise:

I would recommend journaling, I did it wrong for a long time, here is how I do it now:

- write the amounts and way of extractions
- length of the trip, and length of the visual part
- length of physical immobility of the body, this will happen when you increase the quantities
- brief content, is it: - real life imagery, entities, fantastic spaces, geometry, communications ect
- try to be short, few words. Long reports are hard to read later on
- if you feel the need write the full report as well, this way you have both.

Setting and dosing:

- it is fundamental to continue the work, I know it may be scary, but this is what is all about.
- as you will start increasing the quantities the sitter would become more and more necessary.
- make sure to have a day after for yourself, after the journey, structuring the whole event is fundamental, and you will find your way over time, increasing the dose becomes more and more demanding of longer recuperation period.

Very few people work in this way... It may be useful to complement it with meditation, martial arts, yoga, therapy whatever suits you and your wallet.
I hope you stay on this path.

Best
Jox
 
AcaciaConfusedYah
#5 Posted : 7/4/2014 7:01:16 AM

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Hey Jox!

I've read a lot of your posts. You opinion is very valuable to me, especially when it comes to experience with pharma/aya.

I am going to take your advice - especially about keeping a journal of my experiences.

I've seen you mention to others: that after a difficult journey, some folks get scared away - usually just before they get the most benefit from the experiences. I certainly empathize with that, but I might be too stubborn to get scared off. Smile

I have taken the month of June to deal with prepping for a move across the state - zero time allocated to entheogens. The stress of the move was an introspective experience in its own way. It was dealing with the emotions that accompany difficult situations in this reality that helped me piece together the integration of the Pharma experience - and I believe there is still more for me to unveil.

"Some lessons are later learned..." I used to say that all the time. It applies. Very happy

What are some of the standard dosing increments that you've tried?

I've read many mixed reviews of how much harmala and DMT to use. I have no formal guide to show me their way, so I've just been starting low and see where it goes.

From what I've gathered, most folks seem to reccomend between 100-200mg of harmala, and 30-75mg of the molecule.

Would 150mg harmala and 40mg of the molecule be a decent "next step?"

Or should I first become completely comfortable with lower doses?
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
 
Jox
#6 Posted : 7/5/2014 5:10:27 AM

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AcaciaConfusedYah,

your question made me think hard, and even made two drafts before. I came to this:

Start working with harmalas only, and increase as much as you feel, as much as 400 mg is ok, and even more. As you may know harmala only is not problematic. IF you feel slight anxiousness on harmala only, when you add DMT for sure it will be difficult. Our sick mind creeps in and makes a mess, but over time it does clear up. Do harmala only once a week for as much as necessary, it is very healing. When you reach calm state on harmala only, it is time to move on.

Make sure no food 6 hors, no water 2 hours, dark room, phone off etc, and assign two hours for the trip. It is always good to have a sitter, but in this case it is not necessary, your body feels heavy, but you can get up if needed, and talk to a neighbour ..... Eventually you will build way your own steps, or ritual...

When you are ready add DMT, just to be on the safe side, drop harmalas 1/3 or 1/2, and add 30 mg to start. But you MUST have a sitter.

Good luck with moving, it is always sentimental, when we reflect on the past and anticipate the new life waiting for us, has slight mourning in it for me.... Definitely trip on its own

Best to you
Jox
 
AcaciaConfusedYah
#7 Posted : 7/16/2014 8:10:04 PM

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I'm beginning this thing.

Week one:
164mg harmala HCl

3:07pm 7/16/14

Beginning remarks- I've been detoxing from smoking herb for the past week or so. Its been a little difficult.

I ate a peach, an apple, some cherries, and coffee for breakfast. Not too heavy.


I was back to baseline around 6pm.

I ended up laying down to relax and meditate. I fell asleep for the majority of the experience.

No particular ending remarks.

I think I'll try for a ~250mg dose on Friday and see how that goes.
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.
 
 
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