DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 2229 Joined: 22-Jul-2011 Last visit: 09-Feb-2024 Location: in the underbelly of the cosmic womb
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nice Shadowman-x 
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1856 Joined: 07-Sep-2012 Last visit: 12-Jan-2022
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What"s big and small at the same time? A big egg!!!!!
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1222 Joined: 24-Jul-2012 Last visit: 10-Jul-2020
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--None of these jokes are original--How do you get Holy water? You boil the hell out of it. -- What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? DAM!! -- What lays at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck! -- Hahaha these may be corny but they are quite good in my opinion. Hope you enjoyed! "Think more than you speak"
"How do you get rid of the pain of having pain in the first place? You get rid of expectations"
"You are everything that is. Open yourself to the love and understanding that is available."
"To see God, you have to have met the Devil."
"When you know how to listen, everyone becomes a guru."
" One time, I didn't do anything, and it was so empty... Almost as if I wasn't doing anything. Then I wrote about it. It was fulfilling."
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 2854 Joined: 16-Mar-2010 Last visit: 01-Dec-2023 Location: montreal
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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper! What's black and white and red all over? A nun fallen down a staircase! What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a ketchup factory! What's black and white and red all over? A zebra ablaze! What's black and white and red all over? A splatter film from the thirties! (a few original ones in there - probably the bad ones!  ) JBArk is a Mandelthought; a non-fiction character in a drama of his own design he calls "LIFE" who partakes in consciousness expanding activities and substances; he should in no way be confused with SWIM, who is an eminently data-mineable and prolific character who has somehow convinced himself the target he wears on his forehead is actually a shield.
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Mostly Ignored
Posts: 560 Joined: 25-Feb-2013 Last visit: 07-Mar-2014
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What's the definition of torture.. A one armed Englishman hanging from a cliff with an itchy rear.. What's the definition of suicide.. A one armed Irishman hanging from a cliff with an itchy rear.. Ok, so that's technically two lines (and as old as the hills) but as I am of Irish stock I reckon can get away with it 
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1045 Joined: 12-Mar-2010 Last visit: 12-Apr-2024 Location: Urf
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What's the difference between a duck From the unspoken
Grows the once broken
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 3135 Joined: 27-Mar-2012 Last visit: 10-Apr-2023
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Ringworm - "The jellyfish woman has no knee's" "Energy flows where attention goes" [Please review the forum Wiki and FAQ before posting questions]
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☂
Posts: 5257 Joined: 29-Jul-2009 Last visit: 18-Apr-2024 Location: 🌊
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If trees could scream would we still cut them down? We might, if they did it all the time for no good reason.. The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too. A Freudian slip is just a figment of your ejaculation. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. My grandfather has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo. I stayed up all night wondering why the sun rose. And then it dawned on me. A short psychic broke out of jail earlier. Police are looking for a small medium at large! Shovels are groundbreaking ok thats enough bad jokes in one post 
<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1892 Joined: 05-Oct-2010 Last visit: 04-Dec-2023
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Shortest one I know:
Venison's deer isn't it ? It's not even funny. Art Van D'lay wrote:Smoalk. It. And. See.
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Life is Art is Life
Posts: 697 Joined: 11-Sep-2012 Last visit: 13-Apr-2016 Location: watching the wheels go round and round
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Two wrongs don't make a right, however three lefts do. Images of broken light,
Which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on...
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 2229 Joined: 22-Jul-2011 Last visit: 09-Feb-2024 Location: in the underbelly of the cosmic womb
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what does a spiritually intuned tennis player say after winning first game? one love
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Wiradjuri
Posts: 182 Joined: 15-Dec-2011 Last visit: 28-Mar-2015 Location: Australia
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Once, A long, long time ago, there was a woman who never complained, whined, or nagged.
But, as I said, it was a long long time ago, and only for a day.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 376 Joined: 27-Jan-2011 Last visit: 16-Jan-2024
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I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
What you don't understand, you can make mean anything. - Chuck P.
Disclaimer and clarification: This member has been having brief intermittent spells of inattention. It looks as if he is daydreaming in place. During those distracting moments, he automatically generates fictional content, and asks about it in this forum for feedback. He has a lot of questions, and is a pain in the arse.
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Hello
Posts: 100 Joined: 24-Jul-2011 Last visit: 02-Jan-2023 Location: Bathroom
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why are pirates called pirates? ... because they arghh!!
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 205 Joined: 12-Jun-2013 Last visit: 08-May-2019
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 42 Joined: 08-Jan-2014 Last visit: 22-Apr-2014
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Just think, somewhere there is the worlds worst doctor, and tomorrow someone has a appointment with him.
George Carlin, God bless you
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Life is Art is Life
Posts: 697 Joined: 11-Sep-2012 Last visit: 13-Apr-2016 Location: watching the wheels go round and round
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. - Emo Philips Images of broken light,
Which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on...
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 2854 Joined: 16-Mar-2010 Last visit: 01-Dec-2023 Location: montreal
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Creo wrote:This sentence is false. ...but the previous one is true. And this last one is neither true nor false. JBArk is a Mandelthought; a non-fiction character in a drama of his own design he calls "LIFE" who partakes in consciousness expanding activities and substances; he should in no way be confused with SWIM, who is an eminently data-mineable and prolific character who has somehow convinced himself the target he wears on his forehead is actually a shield.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 746 Joined: 30-Sep-2009 Last visit: 04-Apr-2024 Location: United Kingdom of Hyperspace
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I wondered why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. Why is a chilli pepper nosey? Because it gets jalapeno business. Parachute for sale. Used once, never opened. My girlfriend accused me of being a transvestite, so I packed her things and I left. Peace Macre All things stated within this website by myself are expressly intended for entertainment purposes only.
All people in general, and users of this site are encouraged by myself, other members, and DMT-Nexus, to know and abide by the laws of the jurisdiction in which they are situated.
I, other members, and DMT-Nexus, do not condone or encourage the use, supply, or production of illegal drugs or controlled substances in any way whatsoever.
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 205 Joined: 29-Jun-2011 Last visit: 17-Mar-2019
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-The Dali Lama walks into a pizzeria and orders one with everything.
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