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post one liner jokes Options
 
acacian
#1 Posted : 5/2/2013 10:19:49 AM

DMT-Nexus member


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.. i always used to make little one liner jokes/puns at school when I was bored and uninterested in the topic at hand.. i still make a few today. they all pretty much start with "what do you call a.." .. if anyone else has made any jokes/puns, post here.. i'll get the ball rolling for all you entheogenic jokesters..

ps. yes they are meant to be lame and facepalmed.. but hopefully inspire a giggle whilst doing so


... here's some old and new creations

What do you call a tea that has travelled a long way? came o ' mile

How does the psychonaut thank his phalaris for its yield? Grassias

What do you call a slow and boring lizard? Drag'on

What do you call a movie star with a split personality? You and Mcgregor

What do you call a cannibal who teaches university students? Hannibal Lecture

What do you call an Indian city that farewells its mother? Mumbai

What do you call a person that already saw the singer of Tool? Maynard Seen’im

How does a duck approach an acacia tree? it wattles
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
tatt
#2 Posted : 5/2/2013 10:47:27 AM
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acacian wrote:


How does the psychonaut thank his phalaris for its yield? Grassias


What do you call a slow and boring lizard? Drag'on


What do you call a cannibal who teaches university students? Hannibal Lecture


How does a duck approach an acacia tree? it wattles




Hahah Laughing Good stuff
 
spinCycle
#3 Posted : 5/2/2013 2:32:09 PM

Life is Art is Life


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Q: What did the Buddhist say to the Hot Dog vendor?
A: "Make me one with everything."
Images of broken light,
Which dance before me like a million eyes,
They call me on and on...

 
acacian
#4 Posted : 5/2/2013 2:39:30 PM

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spinCycle wrote:
Q: What did the Buddhist say to the Hot Dog vendor?
A: "Make me one with everything."


Laughing
 
Parshvik Chintan
#5 Posted : 5/2/2013 8:20:25 PM

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"if we are all god's children, what makes jesus so special?" - Jimmy Carr
My wind instrument is the bong
CHANGA IN THE BONGA!
 
AllIsDistraction
#6 Posted : 5/2/2013 10:11:42 PM

If you improve we'll all improve


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Q: What's the hardest part about rollerblading?

A: Telling your parents you're gay.
Learning to know that I do not know.
 
DeMenTed
#7 Posted : 5/2/2013 10:29:56 PM

Barry


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What's red and invisable? No tomatoes
 
acacian
#8 Posted : 5/3/2013 4:13:04 AM

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What do you call a religious eagle? Bird of pray
 
acacian
#9 Posted : 5/17/2013 4:13:24 AM

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what do you call a motorbike company that lacks its owner? hardly davidson

what do you call a a similar moss? liken
 
DeDao
#10 Posted : 5/17/2013 4:16:45 AM

Mu-Shin


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Laughing Acacian, funny guy.
"Think more than you speak"
"How do you get rid of the pain of having pain in the first place? You get rid of expectations"
"You are everything that is. Open yourself to the love and understanding that is available."
"To see God, you have to have met the Devil."
"When you know how to listen, everyone becomes a guru."
" One time, I didn't do anything, and it was so empty... Almost as if I wasn't doing anything. Then I wrote about it. It was fulfilling."
 
DeMenTed
#11 Posted : 5/17/2013 4:21:22 AM

Barry


Posts: 1740
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Location: Inside the Higgs Boson
What's red and stands in the middle of a field? A cow with a tracksuit on.

What's blue and white and lives in the kitchen? A fridge wearing a denim jacket.
 
Mr.Peabody
#12 Posted : 5/17/2013 4:41:39 AM

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A sandwich walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve food here."
Be an adult only when necessary.
 
Wax
#13 Posted : 5/17/2013 5:36:33 AM

LUVR


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Q: What do you call a smoking piece with nothing in it?

A: DMT Pipe


Q:What do you get when you pour coffee into a black hole?

A: Hyper-space
'Little spider weaves a wispy web, stumblin' through the woods it catches to my head. She crawls behind my ear and whispers secrets. Dragonfly whiz by and sings now teach it.'
 
universecannon
#14 Posted : 5/17/2013 5:52:11 AM



Moderator | Skills: harmalas, melatonin, trip advice, lucid dreaming

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heheh, the grass one was cleva Big grin

what did the caapi say to the rue in a kung fu battle? aaayyyyaaaa

where do all the corny psychedelic jokes go? in the silly-psy-bin

how come theres no gambling in africa? theres too many cheetas
The Nexian


<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
 
changalvia
#15 Posted : 5/17/2013 9:08:06 AM

eat your jungle oats


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universecannon wrote:

how come theres no gambling in africa? theres too many cheetas


Laughing
With every great plan comes the pleasure of patience. Take a rest, and grab a suckle off the teat of life!
 
3rdI
#16 Posted : 5/17/2013 9:33:26 AM

veni, vidi, spici


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I may be middle-class, but I’m hard. Al dente, you might say- Jimmy Carr

There are three kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who cannot

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already- Tommy Cooper
INHALE, SURVIVE, ADAPT

it's all in your mind, but what's your mind???

fool of the year

 
LeftEyeOfHorus
#17 Posted : 5/17/2013 10:20:00 AM

Hello


Posts: 94
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Location: Bathroom
Wax wrote:
Q: What do you call a smoking piece with nothing in it?

A: DMT Pipe


Q:What do you get when you pour coffee into a black hole?

A: Hyper-space



haha took me a while D empty pipe ahaha Big grin
 
acacian
#18 Posted : 8/30/2013 2:10:14 AM

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what did the yopo say to the shaman who had too much? that'snuff
 
Global
#19 Posted : 8/30/2013 2:30:51 AM

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LeftEyeOfHorus wrote:
Wax wrote:
Q: What do you call a smoking piece with nothing in it?

A: DMT Pipe


Q:What do you get when you pour coffee into a black hole?

A: Hyper-space



haha took me a while D empty pipe ahaha Big grin


Thank you for explaining that one to me. I knew it was probably funny Laughing
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
Shadowman-x
#20 Posted : 8/30/2013 4:11:13 AM

x-namwodahs

Senior Member | Skills: Relationship & emotional support/counselling

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what happens when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
a flat minor

Big grin


what's the name of the age-old drama that's been revived for years, despite its worst criticism?

politics. Twisted Evil
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
 
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