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wherehaveyoubeen
#1 Posted : 4/27/2013 1:31:36 AM
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I've tried hard to breakthrough but I can't seem to do it. I always get panicked and freak out thinking T'm going to die. If i want to break through do I need to just accept it and let go?

Any insight on breaking through would be great.

-Thanks
 

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Botanical Bliss
#2 Posted : 4/27/2013 2:11:32 AM

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wherehaveyoubeen wrote:
If i want to break through do I need to just accept it and let go


Pretty much. It's easier said than done though. I still struggle with it sometimes but the last two times I've blasted off I've been better at letting myself die and go with it. I got me some 10x caapi drying right now, it should be just about dry soon, I might blast off with some of that and see how it affects the experience. You might want to look into changa/10x caapi, I've heard it makes entry into hyperspace easier and smoother, but don't take my word for it as I haven't tried 10x caapi yet.
[center]Sophia's Light

In darkest night, when lights are dim, and all in sight seems sad and grim,
I find you there, your arms surround me, your spirit fills me and it grounds me.
I look to you, Lady of Truth, most ancient One, yet eternal youth,to keep me safe, protect my heart,and with the wisdom you impart, fill up my empty mind and soul,so that, my Lover, you can make whole, all that was broken in this day –and that is what I ask and pray.
 
DeDao
#3 Posted : 4/27/2013 3:55:25 AM

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Last time, I felt like I was dying and I was perhaps breaking through with a very large dose of Ayahuasca. I talked to people that are more experienced and they also said the next step is letting go..

It is hard, my friend, because it can REALLY feel like you are dying. Scary.
"Think more than you speak"
"How do you get rid of the pain of having pain in the first place? You get rid of expectations"
"You are everything that is. Open yourself to the love and understanding that is available."
"To see God, you have to have met the Devil."
"When you know how to listen, everyone becomes a guru."
" One time, I didn't do anything, and it was so empty... Almost as if I wasn't doing anything. Then I wrote about it. It was fulfilling."
 
wherehaveyoubeen
#4 Posted : 4/27/2013 5:23:29 AM
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Thanks for the replies.

Agreed, it is hard to not fight the feeling. I get anxiety and freak out thinking I am going to die.

I'll try to relax and just let it happen next time.

I don't see how you could even die on this stuff.Is it even possible? Possible heart attack, od on the chemicals used in extractions, etc?
 
Jees
#5 Posted : 4/27/2013 6:17:47 AM

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Much have to do with accepting fear as normal, fear is okay, fear is no thread, fear is natural, fear will fade away eventually, fear is just a reaction....

What we can do is prevent creating fear for the fear. To try embracing fear, it is my fear and part of me, makes me whole. Fear is cool to have because it is a basic instinct, it would be un-healthy to have no fear at all. This way the fear loses its power gradually. It's just fear, no more, only fear. Things to tell one-selves that help and are true.

Noticed one trusty insight: fear wears itself out, can't keep up forever.
 
friken
#6 Posted : 4/27/2013 9:59:38 PM

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DeDao wrote:
Last time, I felt like I was dying and I was perhaps breaking through with a very large dose of Ayahuasca. I talked to people that are more experienced and they also said the next step is letting go..

It is hard, my friend, because it can REALLY feel like you are dying. Scary.



On a 10g mimosa boil w rue, I had 100% disconnect with body and knew I died... I melted away to ego death and loss of the "I" concept. Unfortunately the experience was very dark and felt like an eternity was spent in a void of nothing / black. Very hard trip for me. There was something beyond just 'letting go' keeping me from going further. I think it was just deep deep fear. Panic around death and fear of there not being anything after death. That fear of nothing after death is exactly what was found.



 
Bennybombsquad
#7 Posted : 4/27/2013 10:19:50 PM
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wherehaveyoubeen wrote:
Thanks for the replies.

Agreed, it is hard to not fight the feeling. I get anxiety and freak out thinking I am going to die.

I'll try to relax and just let it happen next time.

I don't see how you could even die on this stuff.Is it even possible? Possible heart attack, od on the chemicals used in extractions, etc?



Hey wherehaveyoubeen,

I am also yet to have a breakthrough or even try DMT. From all of the research I have attained from various articles, books and this amazing forum; i have found that no one has died from the chemical itself. However I have read of one poor soul that was lost smoking DMT by a river and in the same post of another person who was injured by trying it near a campfire. I guess the only real danger is where you do it.

I found this link on another thread somewhere that you may find useful. It talks about your setting, mind set, meditation and "letting go".

I wish I had had a breakthrough so I could be of more information to you, but I hope this helps Smile

https://www.dmt-nexus.me...ers/house/DMTDiagram.png
 
tatt
#8 Posted : 4/27/2013 11:09:28 PM
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wherehaveyoubeen wrote:
I've tried hard to breakthrough but I can't seem to do it. I always get panicked and freak out thinking T'm going to die. If i want to break through do I need to just accept it and let go?

Any insight on breaking through would be great.

-Thanks


Yes. Yes you do. Thumbs up

When things start to ramp up, and the feeling starts to come on, take another good sized hit and hold it as long as you can.
 
ZenSpice
#9 Posted : 4/27/2013 11:30:26 PM

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Perfectly natural feelings. My wife suffers panic attacks and has had similar issues with her first decent attempt at breakthrough (she found a fractal forest but could not enjoy because of similar feelings you describe overwhelming her, she is now determined to overcome this when the time feels right)..

Try to hold the thought that over time, of all the people who have tried this, none that I have ever heard of "failed to return" while the majority seem to enter a world of healing and self improvement. I spent time trying to find negative experience reports and the most I come across was "difficult" experiences that still brought their own rewards in time (unless we are talking people who take in the wrong place, such as raves, parties etc)

IMHO Apprehension is a prerequisite to facilitating a healthy respect as you walk this very special path.

I personally revel in the idea of OBEs and the like and I always get palpitations prior to taking any journey.

Combined with respectful this apprehension, I believe that meditation, set, setting and intent will eventually see any soul "through". (Took me 5 attempts to grow finally some "cosmic balls" and "get there" lol)
 
wherehaveyoubeen
#10 Posted : 4/28/2013 4:54:22 AM
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Thanks again for all the replies. I am not giving up until I breakthrough. Today I tried it and I almost passed out.

Is the feeling of passing out a sign of breaking through?
 
ZenSpice
#11 Posted : 4/28/2013 11:02:35 AM

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Passing out would normally be a sign that you are taking too much (imo). If by passing out you mean being out of control of your body or feeling disconnected then this is indeed an aspect of the trip that has to be overcome. If it is a dosage problem however, high dosage reportedly brings a certain level of amnesia with it.

Considering dosage has not been mentioned as yet (forgive me if it has and I failed to notice) I think it would be important to ascertain how much is being used.

In fact, with all the respect in the world, I think a bit more information on your method of delivery also would be handy, along with any additional knowledge of other substances taken (weed smoker, drinker etc).

I think without this and given your comments, it would be a tad reckless to just say carry on as you are.
 
DeDao
#12 Posted : 4/28/2013 2:03:09 PM

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wherehaveyoubeen wrote:
Thanks again for all the replies. I am not giving up until I breakthrough. Today I tried it and I almost passed out.

Is the feeling of passing out a sign of breaking through?


Dude.. I think we experienced the same thing.. Shocked

That's why I thought you feeling like I'm going to pass out and through up wasn't good Crying or very sad
"Think more than you speak"
"How do you get rid of the pain of having pain in the first place? You get rid of expectations"
"You are everything that is. Open yourself to the love and understanding that is available."
"To see God, you have to have met the Devil."
"When you know how to listen, everyone becomes a guru."
" One time, I didn't do anything, and it was so empty... Almost as if I wasn't doing anything. Then I wrote about it. It was fulfilling."
 
DeDao
#13 Posted : 4/28/2013 2:13:46 PM

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I will give my dose/administer route/plants

This first and only time this happened ( you will see ) was a month or so ago.

I was planning on hanging out with a friend on Saturday evening.

I thought "I will just take 3g of rue and 1.5g of hawaiian chacruna ( which is very potent )"

So I did. We chatted for a few hours and then she dropped me back off at my house. I was alone and was thinking " this dose isn't affecting me much, I am alone, why not take more."

I took, I wanna say... 2g rue/1.5 chacruna this time.. Only about 2-3 hours after first dose.

I could tell effect increases but still I could ramp it up more if I wanted

Now I can't remember much.. but at some point I took about 2g rue/1g chacruna then last time I took 3g/5g chacruna....Oh boy..

All this was dosed in about a 4-5 hour period and was just piling up on itself.

About 45minutes after taken that last large dose (3g rue/ 5g hawaiian chacruna)

I was at my computer on the nexus chat and I started to feel tingles all over... similar to if you stand up too quickly and get light headed and loose all thought and coordination.

This was happening ALL over my body and quick.. the thing that was scaring me was that first of all this was happening and second of all I was sitting down.. I had never just had it happen like that sitting down.. Happening one time.. then AGAIN more intense and combining its force with the light headedness before.. I stood up and called to my roommate almost collapsing at their door saying " I don't feel so good"

Luckily they knew I was drinking ayahuasca that night and grabbed a wet cloth and sat with me and talked for 4 hours.. This trip was probably 12-16 hours until I was normal and even then I had an after glow for a while..

During the time when I was almost passing out and feeling like I was dying I remember seeing 4 beings standing over me while I was on some type of operating table.. Like working on my body or spirit?

This experience scared the crap outta me and I am glad this thread is going because I told people in chat about it that next day and everyone seemed to shrug it off. Of course, since it happened to me, I am like WTF.. this isn't something to shrug off..

I have convinced myself at this point that it was because of my dose.. AKA I took too much.
Perhaps I was on the brink of a break through.

I was holding on with a single pinkie and I feel like if I would have let go then I would have died..




I know this was longer than I intended but I am serious about this and I am sure the others who are working with this hard experience are too.

Please take the time to read this report if you feel you have something to offer me.

Thanks. Crying or very sad
"Think more than you speak"
"How do you get rid of the pain of having pain in the first place? You get rid of expectations"
"You are everything that is. Open yourself to the love and understanding that is available."
"To see God, you have to have met the Devil."
"When you know how to listen, everyone becomes a guru."
" One time, I didn't do anything, and it was so empty... Almost as if I wasn't doing anything. Then I wrote about it. It was fulfilling."
 
Global
#14 Posted : 4/28/2013 2:37:14 PM

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DeDao wrote:


I know this was longer than I intended but I am serious about this and I am sure the others who are working with this hard experience are too.

Please take the time to read this report if you feel you have something to offer me.

Thanks. Crying or very sad


In the same way that you might immerse yourself in a favorite song, allowing yourself to become completely enveloped in the experience, it is this mindset that is conducive to these death-excursions. The first and most important thing IMO is retaining the conscious knowledge that you won't in fact actually die. Meditate on that thought if you have to before blasting off so it lingers in your mind. There's a certain amount of trust you need to put into it. Having said that, in the case of entities, some are more or less trustworthy than others, and this is where things get kind of messy, but regardless, you must retain the awareness that even the creepy, untrustworthy ones can't kill you or anything like that.
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind" - Albert Einstein

"The Mighty One appears, the horizon shines. Atum appears on the smell of his censing, the Sunshine- god has risen in the sky, the Mansion of the pyramidion is in joy and all its inmates are assembled, a voice calls out within the shrine, shouting reverberates around the Netherworld." - Egyptian Book of the Dead

"Man fears time, but time fears the Pyramids" - 9th century Arab proverb
 
Ancotar
#15 Posted : 4/28/2013 3:29:13 PM

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wherehaveyoubeen wrote:
I've tried hard to breakthrough but I can't seem to do it. I always get panicked and freak out thinking T'm going to die. If i want to break through do I need to just accept it and let go?

Any insight on breaking through would be great.

-Thanks


I've had three people so far take the journey and each time they were about to embark, I would let them know "Now look, you are literally going to feel like you're dying. Don't worry, it'll be okay. I know it's uncomfortable, but trust me, just go with it. I'll be here keeping an eye on things. You need to let go of the physical, just for a bit."

Easier said than done though. How does one just accept "death"? You'll find your groove. Start out small and work your way up is my advice! Enhanced leaf and changa is excellent for this!
"We speak of Time and Mind, which do not easily yield to catagories. We separate past and future and find that Time is an amalgam of both. We separate good and evil and find that Mind is an amalgam of both. To understand, we must grasp the whole." -Isaac Asimov

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger." -Buddha

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fear's path, and only I will remain." -Paul Atreides, while being tested with the Gom Jabbar by the Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
 
DeDao
#16 Posted : 4/28/2013 4:52:36 PM

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Whew.. Thanks for replying guys.. Intense stuff.
"Think more than you speak"
"How do you get rid of the pain of having pain in the first place? You get rid of expectations"
"You are everything that is. Open yourself to the love and understanding that is available."
"To see God, you have to have met the Devil."
"When you know how to listen, everyone becomes a guru."
" One time, I didn't do anything, and it was so empty... Almost as if I wasn't doing anything. Then I wrote about it. It was fulfilling."
 
 
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