I feel everytime I use DMT I am starting to cross over to "another side" or being taken outside this known reality. I see the world for what it is, a pixalated computer generated game that I must play. When I have broken through on a big dose it would seem as if I actually have "broken through" the fabric of reality, taken to the white place of creation with all it's technologies and computer beeps and boops. I have been home three times. First I was greeted by a female goddess who emanated the emotion of love and wished me the best in life. The second time I was abducted or awoken, by my unrecognizable E.T. crew members who debriefed me on my results in the reality simulator, that I apparently was the architect of. For the third time, my body was stuck with innumerable invisible connector pins as I fade back to the white rooms of enigma and meet a giant colorless human spirit who encouraged me to be safe.

That may or may not seem strange to you, but what probably is, is that I think you're agents of "the outside" trying to get me to take DMT so that I may return. That wouldn't be such a problem only if the "I" in "ME" didn't think this reality was the real one, and the DMT reality was the fake one.

I believe the people around me are NCP's (non player characters) in a video game, nothing but a computer program to facilitate my needs. Guided by what I believe to be an ever adapting A.I. system which reacts to my actions to keep this organizational system in place. Some characters might have A.I. because they think they're alive like me, I am not so sure. Whatever happens here doesn't matter as I will be allowed to leave when I die or have accomplished my purpose. While I'm trapped here I recognize my role to sustain this body through food, sleep and safety. Those are acquired with currency which is earned through work, meaning I must work to continue my temporary existence here. Though this trial is pointless in my eyes, I still hold an iota of uncertainty that this game of life is real and DMT is a lie. Being wrong is a risk I'm not prepared to take, otherwise a simple self destruction of vital organs would end the question and end the simulation.

I'm not sure whether you're friend or foe, or if DMT is an illusion or home.

I hear you, Chrono.

I died once (phsysically, non dmt). Was resusitated. The question--am I alive again, or in some hallucinatory bardo state? None of you are real!

But then I got over that.

Still, the world is a complicated, convoluted, crazy, crazy place. Who knows? Try not to dwell in the fear and darkness too much, Personally I still keep an eye open, just in case.

Its more of a co op. Just imagine the universe as a network server that we all are forced to be plugged in. Most likely though if you spill your internal beans everywhere they're may be some repercussions, most likely will be reincarnated into a centipede after 5 eternity's who knows. Seriously though I keep misplacing my things. BTW im just messin with ya, we have been studying you for aeons trying to figure out what the man left behind in your code. Everything you sense is fabricated towards the means of decoding your souls, however luckily spice is your friend. Its so hot it may just wake you up for all eternity. no seriously though where is my object im looking for.

THIS should be required reading for all prospective psychonauts...

We can talk a lot about whether other planes of existence are there and wonder what is happening there too, we can question the nature of consensus reality that we find ourselves in. This is all good. However keep your feet on the ground.

Whatever else may or may not be happening out there you keep coming back to, and spend the vast majority of your time here. You must survive and be healthy in this reality if you are to be able to play/delve/work in others.

If major existential questions like the ones you are describing are plaguing you – take some time off to integrate, ponder and enjoy where and who you are. Consensus reality is pretty cool, whatever it is. Enjoy it, we don’t spend that long here.

I agree with d*l*b. You need to take some time off.

Keep in mind DMT is produced in this "game" by plants and chemists. Ponder that for a moment, and don't descend into solipsism just quite yet.

Following this logic then, it's equally plausible that you have A.I. too and think you're alive. Many others (even here at the Nexus - and certainly stretching back much much further) have written and talked about this same argument numerous times. They all went through the same thought processes. If you're to follow the solipsist route, then these "A.I." simply made up these struggles with solipsism just so you (the real one) can come along and unoriginally do the same? Starting to sound a bit more strained?

It's not a logical conclusion of philosophy but a state of mind. You don't choose how you think, you think how you choose. Solipsism is an idea someone can choose, but believing such a paradigm is as real as gravity is no choice. I'm not being unoriginal or philosophical, I'm expressing my experience of DMT the only way my conscious self knows how. This was an altered state I had the luck of enduring, enduring because I never had the choice to think otherwise. My consciousness was overridden. What ever grounds a human to this reality can be superseded by DMT. In my mind DMT is not a chemical I've taken to alter my perception, it is a chemical to end all chemical process, a script to end the programming.

If reality was like a video game then the key to complete it could be anywhere, even in tree's. The NPCs could tell you they are real but it's not necessary for them to be so, neither could you even know. The history in the game could be clues to help the player. Everything would be down to the creator/s. A simulated reality is not so far fetched. It would parallel amnesia in virtual reality. Or The Matrix. You just wouldn't know.

But the thought of someone actually considering this is coupled with a helpline, straitjackets and some meds, just in case. But like I said, it wasn't a consideration it was a fact of life, while under the influence of DMT and some residual time after. I probably would be dead if I acted on DMT and thought there's no repercussions to my actions, but that little voice inside keeps me guessing.

What makes DMT so possessive? Is it purely a potency and dosage factor? Or does it connect with whatever makes up the "I", the soul, the self, unlike any other drug?

I guess it just shows us another layer(s) or reality(while often "breaking" this one), what to think of it or how to analyze it, I can't say for sure. All I can do is keep on exploring and witnessing what is beyond words. To be honest, I don't expect to ever understand it. I guess at least for now all we can do is speculate. It's definately good idea to use some caution when exploring those weird places as it isn't all positive in my and many other peoples experiences. I think by itself it's a great priviledge to be able to visit "hyperspace".

i must disagree with ya, tele... i think you understand it perfectly...

"From wonder into wonder existence opens." ~ Lao Tzu

WRONG!

Speaking of everyone else being NPC AI, how do you know you yourself are not AI?

http://www.simulation-argument.com/simulation.html

I imagine there are a lot of Nexians here who have had that archetypal "I am the universe" experience. So if you are the mind of the universe, who is that person you see in the mirror? One way of looking at this is that your everyday self is a tiny subset of your true self (God is Self in its wholeness), and that everyone else you meet are also subsets of your whole self. The One split into the Many. So your everyday consciousness is no more or less "real" than the other people around you. In a sense, the whole reality is a simulation or construct- one that allows you (the big You) to have this rich experience- to have a social life, long story short.

I believe that the Earthside trip is of great importance, regardless of how "real" it is, and that learning and enjoyment are big parts of the purpose. So learn, and enjoy.