*ANOTHER ONE OF MY LONG RAMBLINGS* hopefully worth the read
This thread is getting on a bit but I've just been having a little read because I find the DMT breakthrough experience to be fascinating but confusing. I find it very, very difficult to piece together my experience after returning and what I can remember of the experience is beyond explanation or even recognition.
As soon as I go back it begins it all makes sense again. I'm there, observing and taking it all in and I'm just thinking, "oh yeah, this is what I was trying to remember, why couldn't I remember this?" then, 6-7 minutes later I can no longer see it and if it's not right there in front of me I can no longer recall it's appearance even as it fades away. Coming back and shortly after, I get little sub-second flashes of how it looked, what I saw, what I experienced. And sometimes I remember really significant parts of the trip hours or even days/weeks later and I'm amazed I forgot about it.
Then there's some trips when I'm waiting to see that familiar living pattern/source of the experience or whatever it is I've lost memory of until my next blastoff, only to lie there, totally perplexed and have a totally different experience. For example, one of the last trips I experienced was not how I was expecting it to be, which was the brightly coloured carnival/being thrown about in a living multidimensional, neon patchwork quilt in the presence of jeweled elf creatures or one of the many other mad trips I experienced with these energetic entities. Instead I got what I can only imagine to be closer to an ayahuasca experience, it was very strange because it was so different to all previous trips I'd had.
On this one the trip was very gentle and developed slowly, the breakthrough was in much darker tones but it flowed into my field of vision so clearly and carefully. What I saw was yet agsain very hard to describe but where I expect to see the mandala (which has taken many forms and behaved in so many different ways) I saw an electric light, very soft visually but intense in power. This seemed to come from four different points and meet in the centre making a fifth point but they were all connected together in some indescribable extra dimensional sense, it was sort of whitish, bluish grey in colour and for a few seconds it just existed, doing nothing other than producing some sort of energy. It kinda reminds me of a DMT version of the flux capacitor from back to the future except very vortex like and curving in on itself as if it was consuming and creating it's own power.
I began to question at this point if my three hits was going to take me much further, recent ones had lit up my vision in seconds and had me bouncing around magical brightly coloured landscapes with the elves in seconds, but this developed slowly and carefully.
Eventually this energy source began to give way to something else and I could feel my transition taking place. But instead of all that brightly coloured madness, this vortex gave way to the pooling together of a living substance. Not like the usual living pattern with the breakaway rolling subsections that loom towards you, no this was totally different altogether. It seemed to exists within the scaffold of the energy vortex and it sort of pooled together like oil and it had that psychedelic flow/pulse. It was Earthy in nature and in colour tone.
It was (now this may be hard to envision but it's all I've got) a cross between an oily substance, leafy (brown, Autumn, same vein-like pattern a leaf has) and everything feminine in all of the universe, compassion, patience, forgiving, nurture, care, hope, love, compassion.
The strongest thing I felt from this presence was the compassion, it was teaming with it, it was like my mother. I don't mean it reminded me of my birth Mother, no it was like when people talk about God as my Father, this was how this presence looked upon me.
I often giggle throughout parts of my trip because there's so much mischief and fun and it's very fast paced, but I didn't crack a smile during this trip, it was very, very important and I had a great amount of focus during this trip, but as usual I was unable to bring much back with me. I was very solemn and peaceful but quietly distracted after this one. I had just been in the presence of something very powerful but very calm and comforting and it was focussed on me in that moment and it felt so peaceful.
The only visual thing I remember other than that is very odd, it was a round object much like a poker chip with a symbol on it which looked like the number 2 except the tail of it swooped down more to a point. It's odd because I can never see anything so logical in form during a DMT trip, everything I see I cannot explain with our Earthly tongue as we do not possess the capability to describe such wild objects, environments and entities, but this was very clearly a 3 dimensional object recognisable in hyperspace. It's the only time that ever happened. But the feeling from this trip definitely felt to me how I imagine ayahuasca feels, I guess I felt like I was with the spirit of ayahuasca and it was a very humbling experience.
Other than that I've had some recurring themes, my favourite of which are jeweled elf-like creatures who like to pull faces, stick their tongues out, move their bodies in strange, tribal sort of raindancy sort of ways, they like to really get in your space and jump all over you or even inside you and they want to show you things, amazing things that blow my mind when I see them, they even got me to create some objects by "speaking" and when I did they went wild, jumping around and "hugging" me.
A friend of mine regularly gets beads shot into his mouth, or even mouths as he has described before. He's been chased around by children elves with their toys and he's even been completely taken apart piece by piece before being reconstructed.
I haven't been able to go recently because I've been ill for over 3 months now, as soon as one thing has ended another has begun because my immune system hasn't had time to recover before I'm exposed to another person with one winter bug or another, but I'll be better soon enough and I can go back and try once again to bring something of value back with me.
I'm not saying I don't bring back anything of value normally, I'm actually quite discerning when it comes to the lessons to be learned and I always get a conformation within a day or so. Also because of this incredible faith in the experience and the spirit world in general, not drinking fluoride contaminated water for the last 8 months and regular spiritual practices and also not shying away from my beliefs but being completely open with people about them I am becoming more and more connected to the greater powers that we possess. It's all very mish-mashy at the moment and there's little control but because so many of my friends who I see daily all understand this concept and are open about it and all take DMT and other psychedelics, it's coming at us in all manner of ways and from all directions. Most notably saying exact sentences simultaneously or thinking a subject then a friend talking about it immediately, having a conversation about a rare subject then that being on a TV channel or somewhere on facebook so something. It seems to be a seemless flow of this lately, I mean seriously, for months on end, every day, getting stronger and stronger. But I simply accept it and try to understand more and the more focus I give it, the more present it is.
WOW I've yammered on for quite some time, I'm pretty stoned, it's late and I can't stop thinking about these experiences so the Nexus is the place I found myself at.
I hope you enjoy the read any way, I certainly enjoyed sharing and I'd like to read more of your experiences
