Two days ago I drank my first ever aya-analogue. It was one of the most insightful trips I have ever had. I add the brewing process, because I feel it was a part of the experience.
In the morning of that day I biked to town to buy some peganum harmala. I didn't eat and biking for two hours tired me. When I got home I made some orange juice and ate a cracker after which the brewing could start.
I started brewing around 15:00, on a camping gaz stove in the living room so I could listen to music while brewing. I brewed
40g mimosa in four cups of water, of which there was one third vinegar. In three hours I cooked it in until only 110 ml was left. This was to be for four people. After the first cooking, I removed the purplish water and did the same thing with one more cup of acidified water.
Me with the mimosa, stirring it for hours was very tranquilizing. I was a bit anxious for what I was to expect, but all the tension and anxiety I felt were comforted by the brewing, and stirring.
The second time there was only sludge which was more easily covered then the powder, I thought that a smaller amount of water would speed up the brewing. We are left with
210 ml for four portionsAround 22:00 some of the others come in. I let the mimosa cool while boiling
20g rue for 30 minutes .
around the clock of 23:00, all non-participating guests are asked to leave the house, and we drink the rue.
I can feel the rush of the rue coming up. It sharpens my awareness. I'm aware of my body and feeling quite alert. I meditate.
After
45 minutes we drink the mimosa brew. I remember that at that moment I think that the taste being bad is quite exaggurated. I drink worth of
~8 g of mimosa .This changes when I have to throw up after only 5 minutes. After a whole day of smoking weed and not eating, my body wasn't strong enough to keep it in.
I throw up quite often, lately almost every encounter with a K-hole ends up in violent puking for hours, but never have I felt this bad. My throat shoots into some sort of spasm and it leaves me breathless. I think my uvula decided it's exit only. It was very bad.
The room starts shimmering. Movements get traces I lay down and closed my eyes.
It was clear that I did not get enough of the plant inside me to get a full hyperspace experience. There were beautiful visions of everything I could think of, but not around me.
It was a very clear mode of traveling in which I noticed that everything I thought of opened up a collection of images connected to this thought accompanied with a bodily emotional state that tolsd me how my relation to the object of my thought was. When I noticed this, I started to call people that mean a lot to me. I called forth my girlfriend and was overwhelmed with love for her.
I started metitating. I emptied my mind, so instead of falling from one association into another, I could steer the experience. I could feel where my associations were coming from and I could choose which one to amplify and bring into view to explore. Every thought I thought up was explained to me, as if I had a direct entrance to my subconscious and the intuitions coming from it. Every single image I can think of was connected to a mode of existing of me towards that image.
I had another purge session.
Next thing I turned the eye towards myself, towards the part of my subconscious stating its opinions. I saw how I could make my life the way I want it to be, that it is as easy as following the intuitions to which I had access. Just getting into contact with my subconscious and listening to it, I would know what road to take.
I had another purge session.
The visions were getting less intense and I drifted off to a black area. I woke up around an hour later (at T=+3,5h)and decide to smoalk some.
In the dark I accedentally empty the pack of DMT on the table (~80mg?) in my machine and take a couple of hits. Haveing drunk the rue 4 hours ago, I was still very much under influence of the RIMA's in it. The world disappears and I notice that I had experienced this all before, everything was happening again, only much harder this time. I entered hyperspace hard. going so super fast through all these rooms, thinking: "this is it, I fried my brain". I knew that it wasn't going to end soon because of the rue, but wished it could slow down for a moment, because it was just too much to handle. It was so much I wanted to lie down. to smoalk I had sat down in a chair and now I wanted to go to bed. I opened my eyes but I just couldn't see anything. the world was cut up in slices and bright white flashing fractals deprived me of my sight.
I got to bed stumbling.
All in all a very teaching experience. During the ruemosa I felt physically very very bad, but it taught me a lot about myself. The DMT was also quite heavy this time. The heaviest was the speed at which I was moving. I'd rather experience the intensity of the DMT with the speed of the ruemosa, making it easier to digest, and thus to incorporate it in my life.
The mimosa really taught me the value of mental imagery. How different words/thoughts are connected with a scala of emotions and attitudes. And to see the precise relations of which I am normally not aware, it tells me to listen more to my subconcious. I've decided to meditate more often
TL;DR:-Peace, meditate more
