I tried DMT on the first day of 2012. My friend told me about this forum but I decided to wait a couple weeks before posting so I could let it all sink in. Here is my story.
For weeks I had been thinking about trying DMT. I'm not big on drugs, and while I do drink, I had only smoked weed a handful of times before that day. I had never tried any thing more intense. A friend of mine had done DMT and described the experience to me, but I just didn't grasp what I was in for from his explanation. Yet for some reason I knew it was something I needed to do, for my own well being. When I woke up on the first day of 2012, I knew what I was going to do that day. I was nervous, but right before I took that first hit, a wave of good vibes came over me and I knew I was on the right path.
I had to take two hits because I must have inhaled too hard on the first and the flame cooked it. The first hit gave me euphoria. The second hit killed me and sent me to the void.
I saw the room and my body melt away like running paint. I had a frown on my face...I understand now it was because that was all of my negative energy being stripped away. Or, maybe "left behind" is a better way of describing it. Like a shotgun blast to face, I was completely stripped of everything that was me except the most purest, smallest, base unit of "self". All my pain, all my joy, all fears, all my aspirations, my personality, blown away. I wasn't me, I wasn't male, I wasn't human, and I didn't have a body. I was what I can only describe as a "soul". I floated for eternity in that void, free of everything, though I realize now that experience was only a couple of seconds in this reality. Suddenly I was in a field of a shades of red, filled with shifting fractal shapes. My friend had turned on a song for me right as I had taken that second hit (Feeling Yourself Disintegrate by the Flaming Lips...I now realize how literal that song is), and despite the fact that I had no body, I could hear it *crystal* clear. A piece of "self" came back and I realized I was person and everything was wrong. I started to struggle and more pieces came back. I remembered I had been in a room with two people and I had taken some drugs but I couldn't remember which person I had been. Over what felt like minutes (but was only actually 15 seconds), I pieced myself back together. Afraid, I started to fight it pretty hard and I moved my arms, and forced my eyes open. The world flickered like a bad recording on a VHS tape. My good friend sitting next to me noticed this and told me to relax, and so I did, and went back to that red field. I suddenly didn't like the red. I wanted greens and blues. For some reason I instinctively knew it was red because of my negative energy - I was looking in a mirror.
I was only gone for about 40 seconds, but that was the most important 40 seconds of my life. I was completely deconstructed and rebuilt from the ground up. In those moments, I felt all of the pieces come back together like a three dimensional mosaic. I felt the inside and the out. I felt the walls I've built around myself get rebuilt, but I understand their construction now. I felt my animus and anima via their absence. I felt the power of color. I felt the energy that is everywhere but we don't interact with directly. When I opened my eyes the second time, I could feel that energy in the room, flowing through everything and me. I died and was reborn.
Events this year have been like dominoes, each one affecting the next. I'm not sure if things are falling in place now, or if they always have and I just never noticed it. One tiny example is that when I feel "aligned" I get a lot more green traffic lights. Before I would have called that coincidence, but now, I think it might be something more. I just feel like there's this whole other facet to existence that is suddenly open to me, that I had completely closed myself off to before. It is an incredible, liberating feeling!
For me, DMT was death, but also rebirth. I'll be doing DMT again but I'm not ready yet, as I haven't yet worked up the courage to take that leap. In due time! I suspect I did about 20mg the first time, but unfortunately I didn't have scales to measure. I've heard about the "breakthrough" experience and that is something I would like to do some day, but I think I need to work my way there slowly.
Peace and love, everyone. Those are the most important things. We are all connected.
TLDR: DMT is finding out Santa Claus IS real after all.
Edited for craziness!