Where are the strong Nexus women? You were around not too long ago. I surely do miss you.

Oh, yeah! You work six days a week, you decided to deal with ailing family or dedicate yourselves to kids, you are working harder than ever investing in your future with education or trying to start a business with your partner selling vegan foods. You changed your life/career path and are pursuing your dreams.

Oh, yeah! You spoke up too much and got permanent demoted. Or, maybe, you just got sick of the repetitive stuff.

Regardless, you are gone and it sucks. Yes, you pop into chat when you can, you post infrequently, but it's not the same as it was just a few months ago. I'm feeling lonely, frustrated, repetitive and tired around this issue.

Hmm, Nexus women stepping up and doing the hard work. Doing what needs to be done even if it takes years, they get no acknowledgement, thanks, guarantee of success, etc. Pretty much the usual, eh? Yep somethings never change. In pre-history the women had the children, raised the children, carried the water, kept up the village, maintained the fire, gathered food, and nagged the men when it was time for a ritual or they were meat hungry. Move forward to agriculture and the patriarchal concept of land ownership as well as cultural patriarchy and men are tremendously successful, especially if they have wives. Move forward to now and there's a lot of nice lip service and we're slowly moving forward, but frankly, get a bunch of guys in a room with one or fewer females and it's the same B.S. (or if that one complained a lot in the past, the same B.S., with a quick token "joking" apology to that one). And it seems, in politics, business, modernity and Nexus, some glass ceilings are destined to never be shattered, or at least not any time soon.

What B.S. you say? After all, this is the enlightened Nexus, is it not?

You know you are a person. You see everything as coming into you and your perceptions. You feel energized, vibrant and powerful. You were taught to speak your mind. You are smart and strong. You feel vulnerable at times and angry at others and sometimes even confused. You figured out that the greater society was maybe lying about some things and decided to expand your mind. You tried psychedelics. One thing led to another. You are here. Guess what? SO AM I. So are people who do not look like you and did not have your same experience. I feel THE SAME WAY!

Yes, I have a vagina. Yes I have breasts. Yes I have buttocks. I am a person/human first, a woman second - I AM NOT A PUSSY!! WAKE UP! Women are people - just like you. You think they are a commodity to use up and throw away and then you want to complain about lack of meaningful relationship? You say you want revolution? You say you want people to get out of thinking with the monkey brain. Well, MEN, STEP UP! Real men think, real men feel, real men cry, real men are not afraid to walk in the shoes of someone who is completely different from them. In my opinion.

Admittedly, it's hard to think things out, do the right thing when the larger group that reflects the greater culture (that you think you reject?) is encouraging oldstyle attitudes, including various types of xenophobia (I shan't limit my isms here). You have to STEP UP if you want change. You have to do the hard work every day.

In my opinion, this place is defaulting back to the patriarchal norm. Sorry if you you don't want to hear about it. I have to frakking LIVE it every darned day. I like to think I come to Nexus to escape the consensual reality that set up this ridiculous culture and these ridiculous rules, INCLUDING PATRIARCHY.

What a mess we have made for ourselves over the past couple thousand years. Before the Abrahamic religions, there were Goddesses, there were strong women, there was a culture that was thought to be matriarchal (Minoans) and others where women enjoyed full rights such as ability to own property, divorce, hold political office (Ancient Egypt), etc. The Ancient World was severely different from our own and in my opinion, in some ways more screwed up but in others a heck of a lot more balanced.

So many folks here clamor for change. I do not know if Ancient ways are better or horribly flawed. They were different. We need something different. Since we are stuck with these bodies and brains it's up to us to use the higher functions, the frontal lobes to think this out, to think before acting.

Sure, say what you want, what you believe. But seriously, are you that ready to endorse one of the deepest messages from a culture you claim to despise? Think you're not a sheeple? Then do the work and act like it. Please! Otherwise, the cycles continue to endlessly repeat, are never broken.

For those of you who want to take this personally, please don't. I'm not pointing to any particular person or precipitating incident. It's just changes and trends I notice over time. I'm feeling so good and fulfilled and happy these days. Nexus family is part of that. When something feels not right in a family, I speak up. that's all. I might be somewhat right, might be completely wrong, might be completely right, might be subtely wrong, etc. I'm the first to acknowledge this.

But, please, read what I said. Think about it. What if you were in a culture that said everything you did, thought, created, etc. was less than that of your counterpart even though you worked at least as hard? Oh wait, if you are are any sort of "minority" then you do. Do you really want to treat other people this way?


Thank you for your consideration.


Peace & Love

How so? Maybe I'm missing something, but I've never seen anyone on the Nexus treating females as anything less then a male. Sex seems pretty irrelevent here...

Oh! I'm suprised at this, While I knew you were female, I haven't yet divised a method for "sexing out" the good folk contributing to the day to day discussions at the Nexus. I enjoy reading your contributions just as much as any other person who got something relevant to say. If anything, I'd be inclined to read more reverantly if I knew it was a female writing. The Minority thing may have something to do with some of the points you raised, mainly think it's the nature of the activity that tends to bias contributions by males.

Peace

i haven't been here that long, so i cant really have an understanding of what you mean, but i agree with what you're saying, it's still a man's world.

i would happily embrace a more balanced world, and i recognise how capable women are, even though i still have a habit of interrupting my girlfriend or trying to do something for her that she's completely capable of doing, i need to remind myself that she is a highly intelligent and capable person, though my behaviour is not so much singling her out due to her gender, through out my life i've learned this behaviour and treated men and women alike in this regard, part of it is a defence mechanism, but part of it is also my impatience with so many people who i would call "sheep", it is unfortunate that these learned behaviours are so hard to shake, especially when they're not needed, and i am actively trying to chance my behaviour by becoming more aware every time i engage in it.

i'll also happily admit that my girlfriend helps me in so many ways, and she does so many things and it often makes me feel very lazy and inadequate... i try not to take her for granted though, and i also try to make it up to her in ways that i am very capable.

actualfactutual,

Frankly, I welcome all feedback, but I'd like to hear that from a woman.

Like I said, there is no specific, singular, precipitating incident. Forum is fairly well under control for members, due to recent crackdowns and yet check the posts when references are made to gf's, etc (females that are non-entities) for an attitude that basically just reflects the greater Western culture in my eyes. I mean even the time when one of the conservative rags photo-shopped a powerful woman (I don't care if you like Hilary Clinton or not, she is the US. Secty of State) out of a picture of a meeting of prominent world leaders, there was a post in The Hyperspace Tavern that basically made an approving joke out of it. This is old I admit, but frankly, typical, imo.

Hang in chat. It's saturated with testosterone. There are no active female mods. And it feels safer for guys to act like they embrace the values of patriarchal Western culture there due to lack of a permanent log. Sure there's frequently a token acknowledgement (or apology - now this is very very weird imo) when this happens and I am present. Frequently there is not. I would prefer a.) A MAN to speak up and say, Hey! Wait a minute! or b.) Folks to do the hard work and deny the dominant culture that tells them to do this. Both of these require mental work, thinking, taking a risk with the larger group, NOT being a sheeple.

Check the introduction responses - frequently when someone is new and ignorant, ignorant but innocent, there is no warm welcome and explanation just a very masculine and brusque (again, imo) conform or gtfo response.

It's the little things that add up.

Again, this all reflects just my opinions, perceptions and feelings, no more, no less. And I truly, sincerely do appreciate and honor that you actually read them.

Hmm...OK, I'll bite...

I too mourn the recent decline in female posters, but I find the Nexus one of the most supportive places on the Net. I can't recall ever seeing a post here which undervalued a female perspective or would discourage that perspective being put forward (in fact the only discriminatory posts I have seen were in the recent homosexual thread).



Given that, surely there is no obligation to even declare your sex - you can always just post as a 'person', and maintain sexual anonymity behind your avatar. I don't think I have ever come out as male (if indeed I am). It's quite possible that many female posters feel as in your quote, and just post here as 'persons' perhaps.

But from a selfish point of view I like to know the sex of a poster because I am interested to read a female perspective on a subject which seems (for whatever reason) to be more often discussed by men.

Psychedelics are the most genderless thing I can imagine.

My rant is pretty simple: All I'm saying is yes, we should have more females, just because it makes no sense not to. I do not understand why there are so few.

Pandora, you replied before I finished my post. I don't have any experience of the chat, so you might be right about that...I don't know. But anyway, you are obviously feeling these things...so there must be some truth in what you say to be causing those feelings. I just don't see it myself, but then I suppose I am male. Let's hope you get some female responses to this thread, and we'll see if others feel like you.

I've always found this the most supportive place I know, and I would think that 95% of people here would be devastated to think that people could feel about it the way you do.

Yeah, maybe these days there are simply fewer girls who are interested in things such as DMT?

Look at the membership. Look at the mods and senior members. Look at the percentages. Then ask if there is fair representation. Maybe you are upset that they aren't vocal enough - maybe they need a PM, I don't know. But this is not a job, or salaried - it's an internet forum and everyone is free to join and contribute. If more women don't, I really don't know what to say, other than it is a blameless shame.

I think it is unfair to allege that this is like a microcosm of general society, where there is a vast (but fortunately closing) gap of inequity between men and women. Women ARE in positions of power here, in, actually, a higher percentage than is reflected in the membership. The fact is that MOST women on the nexus are either mods or senior members - or have been . MOST men, however, are not...

I think it is a matter of perspective and how you look at the numbers. I agree the women here could be more vocal and present (and i wish they were too!), but that is really up to them. Maybe your post is warranted to get more female activity around here - but I really don't think it's fair to lump in what is happening here with what has been happening for millenia in the rest of the world.

I can't say for sure because I have never been on the receiving end, but it seems to me women are treated very fairly here, and with the exception of a few random comments, are generally even REVERED for their perspectives. I am very sorry you feel this way and I will do my best on my end to pay more attention.

LOSSA RESPEK,

JBArk

Orion,

Great post that is really making me think. Thank you for that. I suspect that your "rant" is the same as mine - this (yes patriarchal) Western culture has set up these bizarre games and twisted rules and everyone suffers. You are so right. Good men aren't getting the credit they deserve as they get steamrolled by that same "majority" I railed against. And women who have the skills and knowledge ("game" ) to step aren't always doing so. Drat.

I have no answers. I just love that I can put this stuff out here and you folks - men, women and other genders too, will read it consider it and reply with heart and mind. You & I all know that if I was me in the past, long ago the cry would have been, "Burn the blasphemous witch!"

I should give credit where it's due. Forum overall is in good shape - I'd like to see some gentler (I guess more feminine?) welcomes sometimes but folks are free to say what they want about their sexual partners, prospects and significant others. Chat ebbs and flows. I've been lonely so I guess I decided to air some laundry.

Someday we might be able to create a world where when someone throws garbage down another one picks it up and gets their hand dirty, saying, "It's got to start/stop somewhere, how about with me?" a world where the first person to speak up against racist or sexist claptrap is a member of the majority/priveledged group. We're getting closer. Nexus is even closer still. But, I do feel there's still a few generations (at least) worth of exhausting work to be done.

Peace & Love

[quote=Pandora]actualfactutual,

Frankly, I welcome all feedback, but I'd like to hear that from a woman.

Well Pandora, you just might be begining to sound sexist here. What does it matter on a forum dedicated to the spirit molecule?
I could understand your point of view if it were a body-building or gun club forum, but really it's not a patriarchal issue at all here.

Are you lamenting that females in general are less interested in such things? if so, then the critical aspects of your argument are misplaced.

Sorry, another male response!

I miss the DMT Nexus woman that doesn't exist in my life.

Where the hell are you?

I sit out on the cliffs and smoke changa all by myself.

There must be an acid queen somewhere? Right?

I'm waiting and will continue to wait 'til my bones drop so let me know kthx. <3

arcanum,

I would respectfully request that you re-read what I wrote.

Your calling me sexist is neither here nor there. Anyone who is honest admits they are xenophobic to at least a certain extent. That's what frontal lobes are for (among other things) - to overcome the inherant human feelings AND the culutural programming that try to tell us to perseverate that. So, yeah, I'm sexist. Check my posts. Check my attitude in chat 95% of the time. I am seriously, heavily working on it. I AM That one who speaks up to say, Hey! Wait! even if it does not affect me personally. I feel my position is fairly stable/strong here.

I welcome male responses but would love to see a female tell me to my face-post that I'm totally wrong here. That would be a nice wakeup call for me. That's all. It was not a personal challenge, nor a challenge to your masculinity. It was a statement of my thoughts and feelings. I feel I have explained myself well.

Peace & Love

Let me know if you find one, I'm in the market for an acid queen as well!

As per usual, Pandora, I think you doth protest a bit much... but it's your prerogative, I suppose.

I would be interested to hear specific examples of how your vagina has actually held you back in the ranks of the DMT Nexus. It's hard to imagine a way in which it possibly could have, but I'm curious to hear some stories.

Personally, I'd love to see more women here. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the trip nerd world (or at least the online variety) appears to be populated by men. Get out of chat (which is the smelly underbelly of the DMT Nexus, so if you spend 24/7 slumming in there, you kinda reap what you sow...), off the computer and leave the house occasionally. Go recruit some Nexus women. We'd love to have them aboard.

As far as preferring to see a more feminine posting style from moderators, most of the moderators are men. I don't know that my penis necessarily dictates the manner in which I greet the new folk, but I'm a cranky man with no patience for fools, so I guess I respond accordingly. Again, I'd love to see more female moderators, and the ones who already are more active. I think you may be right on the money in your sneaking suspicion that the strong women of the Nexus are busy actually leading their offline lives. Hard to blame the menfolk for this. Hard to see it as a negative at all.



This is exactly what I think. I love to complain about it as well, but only after I've used them up and thrown them away as you describe.

You're a bizarre character, Pandora. Don't go changin' for anyone.

I just wanted to share a few short videos from TSM interviews that I think are somewhat relevant to the topic.

Leanna Standish: Why are there so many more men than women involved

Kathleen Harrison: Women in the field of psychedelics

Allyson Grey: Bring attention to women in the psychedelic community

Allyson Grey: Women in the psychedelic community:

I don't think this video is completely relative to your specific rantings, but I think the video will be of interest to some reading this thread.

xxx

No way! Acid Queen is mine! It's every man for himself!