It was my third time. The first had been just a wisp of visual patterns over the marble table and over my skin. DMT giving me examples of sub-structure depending on where I looked at. The second time was more intense. I was chanting a mantra after exhaling (the letter OOOO ) and enjoying waves of green light raising up against my conscience, but still playing with my conscience still completely "constructed" around me.
Yesterday I exhaled my third toke...left my open eye visions of the bong decomposing within light streaks and reflections, closed my eyes and tumbled “down” folding and folding in the space “in between”, a deep blue inviting and infinite space, loosing a layer of consciousness at every tumble and laughing hilariously at the simplicity and linearity of the process.
I was surprised by how gentle it was, how delicate and inexorable the process of loosing the sense of my consciousness. No fear at all, but joy instead. Finally (?) realizing that there is no difference, or boundary, or end or beginning. Everything "IS", was and will be. My laugh was the end of a cry for joy, or the other way around. I was one with my friend that was there exactly for that. there was no space or difference between me and “other objects” like if we met after thousands of years to do what we were doing, in that exact moment.
He was me, I was him. "There is no difference Mike" I kept saying, Laughing loudly meaning that there was no subjective difference between me, him and everything else I could think of, that I knew of.
Every question would multiply itself, following a visual pattern based on a plus sign, with a circle at the end of each arm. The symbol was bright green on a yellow base, and "smiling" at it would mean accepting it, My smile would open up myself ( Mike kept saying" open up....let it in"
and the symbol would multiply my smile in a fountain of joy and warmth. With the absolute consciousness that I was completely safe and made for this.
The hilariousness of the situation made me laugh hard with a sound that wasn't mine, a deep, throat like laugh coming from very deep inside me, (but not the me I am aware of) would erupt and explode out of me, around me, like the laugh of a god passing trough a human body. Then a smell, the warmth of something, (my joint) and the revolutions of my conscience would roll the other way and back....I started top remember (so to speak) that I had a body, that I had things to do and people waiting for me, as I opened my eyes and saw Mike there smiling... regaining conscience and sense of time, sense of my physical body and of the room. We went upstairs, and I discovered that there was and upstairs and a downstairs, and I that I had a body. And Mike's dog was a very fun thing to play with using my body. Still buzzed and full of images, regaining composure and lucidity for the drive home. Back to my terrestrial chores.
( the blue space in between)