hey there, i posted a trip report thread at the nook and have decided to re-post it here:
so the night before the scheduled trip, i'm sitting outside with my friend and his brother, they brought over some weed and we'd all just had a cone.
we discussed many things that night, and the changa came up, and they were both talking about dmt's effects that they'd heard about from many sources including terence mckenna who'd said it's the scariest drug, but the best. they also mentioned things like "it's the longest 15 minutes of your life" and "your whole life will flash before your eyes, every letter, every number, a second will seem like an hour" and other stuff..
by this stage i could feel myself getting extremely nervous, like time distortion stuff really scares me, being trapped endlessly in only a few minutes.. i was really freaking out about that.
the next evening that same friend was over plus another friend, i'd already said i'd go first, then the mate who was over last night said he wasn't gonna do it anymore, which made me even more nervous, then the other mate said he'd only do it if i had a good trip, which made me even more nervous.. so i pack a cone, and i'm holding the bong in my hand, and my mates are like do it, you'll be fine, but i just couldn't do it.. so i decide to just have some weed instead, and put a tiny bit of changa on top, the weed really calmed me down, and i felt the mildest body effects from the changa, i didnt put a lot on.
i was ready to try it again, so when i started packing it i realised that again i was still too nervous, so i just had another half cone of weed and added a bit more change on top, this time i felt more prominent body effects but that was about it. i still couldn't bring myself to have a full dose.
then the friend who said he'd do it if i had a good trip was like, fuck it, i'll do it.. so i pack him a cone, and he hits it, but he could only get half of it in one go, then he sat there motionless, and after like a minute he said he was fine and i said there's still more left, so he finished it, then he was out of it for up to 5 minutes and that was kind of it, he said it was really good, so i felt a lot calmer, and i decided to give it another go, we decided that his dose wasn't strong enough so i packed mine a bit more, it was a really full cone, and i'm not a smoker so i wasn't sure how i was gonna hit it all.
so i light the cone and start to suck, but the more time passes the more nervous i get, so i stop lighting part way through the cone, take in all the smoke, hold it for a couple of seconds and release, and then quite a bit hit me, i felt like i was dead still like a statue, with weird spinning and pulsing feelings in my body, similar to acid, i'd feel a point of energy move up and down my spine, go up in to my head, then back down to my lumbar region, my friends were around me talking, and their voices started to echo endlessly, until they were completely lost within each other and it all became a kind of homogeneous noise, simultaneous to this, the noises turned into colour, and i cant remember if i had my eyes open for a little bit, but they were closed for the most part, but there was like a hall of colour, which seemed to be a mix between hand drawn and high definition computer generated, but like super high def, with all these lines pulsating through the colour, and it was like the sounds would overlap each other, like 1 sound would be at the front then it would get pushed back by another sound, which would then get pushed back by another sound until everything was a background blur. amongst all this, in the middle of the hall of colour, there were figures that moved and then changed into something else, like a person's head which changed into an animal, but they were drawn/computer hd, with either a couple main colours or a mix between colours and something more similar of real life.. the whole thing was extremely psychedelic.
while all of these things were happening, what i was feeling emotionally/physically, apart from the spinning/pulsating, there was this underlying fear and sadness, which would at times make me feel physically sick, at other times i could feel tears coming like i was about to cry, many thoughts were going through my head, some were about my girlfriend and i almost wished she was here to save me like she did the time i took too many mushrooms alone.. and i just felt really scared, but then all of a sudden i'd realise there's nothing to be scared of, and i was fine, it was very cathartic, and at this moment i wouldn't feel sick in my body, i just felt relief and happiness, and then basically the trip was over, and i opened my eyes and said "woah", maybe 3 minutes had passed, 4 at most.
then i thought i'd try to have the rest, but again when i was lighting and sucking, the more time passed the more nervous i felt and had to stop, so i didnt even finish it the second time, once again basically the same thing happened, and it lasted about the same again 3 or 4 minutes.
it felt like the whole point of the trip was to get really really scared and then realise that there's nothing to be scared of, which was a very profound experience.
it was like, the only reason i felt scared during the trip was because i was nervous about getting scared during the trip, like a self fulfilling prophecy, if i didnt think about getting scared then i wouldn't have, but i did think about it, therefore i did get scared during the trip, i laughed about it with my friends afterwards, it was actually quite scary but at the same time it wasn't at all, and it was a truly amazing and wonderful experience.
upon learning what i had just learned the first time, i would still get nervous trying to smoke the rest of it.. i guess it takes time to overcome fears, perhaps i need to meditate more..
i think the best way to do it for me, would be to make a bucket or rocket, then burn it all in the container so i can just suck it up in a second without having any time to think about what i'm doing and be nervous, because i really really want to do it again, and i really want to have a full dose and have a true dmt experience. i wonder if it'll last 15 minutes that way, or at least 10, it's weird that it only lasted 3 or 4 minutes for me and for my friend.
thank you for your time.
my name, is nobody.
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