I want to make a post here and don't know how to compress them all without having to write a whole book.
I am new here, new in the world of psychedelics but have awaited all of my life for something to at least remotely resemble the experiences which I now see the spices could provide. In fact, this used to be the whole reason of my life: to find out who am I and what is my place in the world. The thought that the world is refrained to what we can see, touch and/or replicate has been for me the most haunting and depressing thought possible, it used to drive me to long and consuming states of depression and lack of vitality. I studied religions, philosophy and literature in my college years and later, I studied chemistry with great passion and was almost a prodigy in the lab and later in my life I started to learn the basics of particle physics for this one purpose: to free myself from the bleak, absurd and soul-crushing thought that I am the victim of Nature's blind ability to combine itself in complex forms like myself without regard to my pain for having to live on with the stigma of eternity between my eyes in a body doomed to perish forever. Atheism used to be a fiercer monster for my mind than all those horrible wrathful deities lurking around that I've read about in the Tibetan Book of the Death and preventing those undaring and unfulfilled to ascend farther in the cosmic order.
Time has passed and this tragedy haven't dimmed until I met you guys. I mean, all of you: from Mrs. Terence McKenna and Timothy Leary to all these places on the internet where brave and curious people try to zoom in the intricate engine of what is commonly known as destiny.
I started to read alot about this domain. I studied psychedelics without practical access to them but I knew from the first moment that this is gonna be it. My hopes exceeded my despairs and my dreams for answers retook their analgesic place into my empty and painful mind.
Then I met weed and found a way to forget and even catch a faint glimpse of what I had been looking for. Weed has blessed me with all what I had been expecting from it and it gave me even more. It became my friend for life.
My quest went on to trying lsd. I knew dmt is my final destination but wanted to take this journey wisely and gradually.
My first lsd dose was shattering! Way more than I expected from a psycholitic dose (180ug). My high went up slowly during the first 2.5 hours starting with a pleasant buzz allover my body, a profound sense of joy and harmony until this happened: as my tension went away I decided I can use a joint without interference with the acid's work. I lit it up (indica) and within like 10 mins I was out of this world! I saw a perfect being answering all of my questions and healing all of my wounds in an instance. I saw how Nature uses to construct itself from chaos and generate its own generator and I saw that the most intimate and unifying fluid that overwhelms every bit of existence is the one, pure, perfect, unrejectable and allpowerful love. I started to cry all my water out of my body! All the feelings possible mixed within my resilient soul into this bright and indicible state of mind. I felt all at the same time: despair and joy, pain and bliss, humility and power, elation and wisdom, hope and certainty - all the range at once in the form of love just like the whole spectrum of colors combines into pure white light.
This happened 3 weeks ago. Meanwhile I am better than I ever was. I think faster, I learn with outstanding speed, I have a huge respect for every single living being and my life boosted in all its respects, from business to my personal life, and most of all: I am happier than I could put into words. I started to respond in images to difficult questions and let people perplexed until I make the effort to unreel my ideas in many many phonological words. I became straighter and more sincere in my reactions and most of all I am a child again! Blissful, happy, not afraid anymore of oblivion and pain, free from what I see across the history of man and his culture as the 'tragedy of man'.
Technically, it still was a mystery for me how did I manage to go that far with only a psycholitic dose. So I guided a first timer friend of mine to do the same: take the blotter in a perfectly sober state and then boost his trip with a hit of indica 2-3 hours within the trip. The result was the same: a way stronger trip than what is usually reported as being achieved with less than 200 lsd ugs. It was equally shattering. The guy tripped to the same level as myself, way above the usual party feeling brought by a casual lsd Sunday trip, in his own way and with same end results: perfect bliss and eternal equanimity, higher social and professional performances and a perfect mood.
Then he tried to spread the world by convincing a friend of him to go the same path asap. He became a fervent advocate of psychedelics and insisted to his amazed and relatively scared friend that he do the thing by all means. Now, his friend was a different type: his ideal - money, sex, high life, gadgets, clubbing. Still, it was obvious that his easy friend was longing for a resolve of some inner emptiness that he started to feel after repeating and repeating the same imperfect and painful joys of the material world. Still, I had my hesitations, it was a hunch and I tried to listen to it but the guys gave me no choice: they called me and asked me to be with them while this third character in this story will take his lsd hit. He was a friend of my friend and I must say his ways weren't my ways. I felt like being asked to do something out of my league and tried to avoid it but then I told myself I had set the line too high and was in fact supposed to help anyone no matter if my hunch tells me not to.
There were signs against doing this. Something in me kept subtly insisting that I shouldn't be part of this. Still, I overrun those fears and accepted to be with the guys when my friend's friend will take the trip.
The guy was concerned that he won't have a trip like ours. And nothing happened in the next hours after taking the blotter. Then I decided to do the same to boost his trip with a push of weed. He hadn't been a regular smoker and my weed was a very strong sativa. This was a difference which I didn't pay attention to until it backfired. I and my friend had smoked indica before having our amazing breakthroughs with the mere help of these innocuous doses combined.
The guy took only 3 hits from a joint and within 2 minutes he was higher than I've ever thought that guy could be in those circumstances. He fell faceup on the couch and entered a state of profound revelation. This lasted about 10 mins while he kept saying "this must be seen by all the people", "i can't believe what i see", "i see it all, the beginning and the end", "now i see all the reasons and purposes" aso, until he ended in a state of communication with God, he was there as we heard him crying out loud: "Take me God!!!".
After 10 mins he sprang on his feet, looked around like after 1 million years of absence and asked in perplexity: "What is this?... Is this the real world???" I said yes. "And will I live here forever??" his tone was panicked. "No, I answered. You'll be back there forever after you die" In that moment he raised his fists up, closed his eyes and shouted with joy, it was a cry that shook the walls, something I'd never heard, not even in Bollywood dramas. His happiness was more than someone could stand. I have now near me a piece of steel from a magnetic bike which he grabbed and teared apart without apparent effort and I bet now that I cannot disbend it with tools and 2 other guys like me along.
After that, he turned towards me and asked: "And-- will I have to stay here with you for the rest of this life?" "Yes, you will have to live in this world until you die". "I am God now and this world is mine, you are mine!" he said. His looks were fiercer than anything. "I fucking can do anything I want! It doesn't matter anymore, I made it all and I can do anything I want! I am free to do it and I want home, this is not my world, fuck you!" And he punched the door of the livingroom with a force that almost cracked the wood. His pupils were all black and his eyes and face were emanating towards me a despise and hate beyond words. He literally tainted the place with his mood. Almost 24 hrs passed and I still cannot walk near that place without shivers. The guy is very strong, well built, more than athletic and he started coming towards me with the obvious intention to crush me apart. It was not rage, it was indifferent evil. I stepped back and tried to plan something but my vision narrowed and I entered a sort of fight-or-flight state. Meanwhile, he hit down my computer and destroyed a small locker in his way to killing me. Our mutual friend had been gone to the bathroom and I was alone with thee Devil itself. I could literally see threads of black mist stormily revolving around him as he kept staring at me and saying things like "I can do anything! I am God! Will I have to live here with you forever? You did this to me, fucker, I will squeeze the life out of you!"
Meanwhile our mutual friend came and hugged him trying to stop him out of his madness and somehow managed to calm him down. Later, the guy punched him in the face, as they are best friends and business partners. His agony lasted about 20 minutes inside the house and then they went outside to try to have a venting stroll. Things could've turned very nasty without the relief provided by our mutual friend.
The guy had trip after trip during a 2 hrs walk. He cried and mourned all night long that he doesn't want to live here in this small world anymore, he wanted to go back forever.
It's been 24 hrs since that blotter got moistened. He called me to ask for forgiveness and he pretends that every single bit of evil is now way out of him. He remembers what he did but pretends that his state of mind was permanently selfless, non-aggressive, blissful. Meanwhile he wrote and wrote a trip report that he says he will have to keep completing all of his life. He told me and my friend like hundreds of times that this was the greatest gift ever received. He says he doesn't care anymore of money, womanizing and cheap entertainment.
Cliffnotes/conclusions:
A joint in the peak of lsd trip can facilitate a breakthrough even with a party-size blotter.
Indica is more suitable (some strains even contain mescaline), whereas sativa creates expansivity, restlessness and extroverted energy.
No weed before in the day of the trip, the hit must be very definite to be effective.
A psychedelic trip goes less higher if one starts it from an inferior energetic state: tiredness, stress, fed-state (as opposed to fasting-state), basically any kind of state that makes one less energetic. The trip will start from a level lower the usual everyday energetic baseline and therefore will have a lower peak. This might be one of the most frequent causes for bad trips: a strong flight at low altitudes.
Never ever host a trip for someone you cannot control or simply if you don't know him. Never advocate psychedelics, just outline objectively your opinions, but never use imperative verbs. This experience is the most intimate thing ever and no one can mediate this marriage.
Finally, thank you guys for being here, please forgive my lack of criteria in the way I write (I am not an English native or usual speaker) and if the things reported are already well known in the community call it a noobish report and excuse my naivety.