Recently I have took a very large and irresponsible dose of mimosa my experience is here https://www.dmt-nexus.me...spx?g=posts&m=240656
it left me very confused and I had a very strong trip. Lately I feel very overwhelmed and can not stop thinking about whats real and whats an illusion.
Reality just seems like an illusion to me now i've gone to a place on DMT that was very scary and very powerful it was so powerful it feels like the trip was one big dream.
Its like my body's natural defense mechanisim is blocking what happened to me in my trip.. i know something happened that was very very intense and powerful all I can remember and think about is how little we know about true reality, sometimes I wish I never even tried it because now things will never be the same

my whole life I have felt I was put here for a reason and that I need to find an answer to life and I know theres more to it its all just so confusing there's so many theory's that go threw my head on a daily bases sometimes i wonder if its worth digging for i've put so much time and effort into trying to find the "answers" to life that i would like to know sometimes i just feel like its pointless sometimes i think to myself.. were not put here to try and decode the meaning of our existence do animals think of things like this? im pretty sure animals don't even think in lyrical thought just images. My life seem to make more sense and it was less overwhelming before exploring for answers

I'm so confused and overwhelmed it feels like its taking over my life reality feels like an illusion I've been having horrible nightmares and they are very vivid to my dmt experience its almost like i keep dreaming of my mimosa trip over and over every night since it happens and when i wake up sometimes the walls are breathing for a split second.. this could be placebo but seriously this is getting out of hand i wanna go back how can I cope with every day life some things just seem so unreal and dont even make sense i go threw these patterns of mood all day early in the am im very content and clear headed in the evening im groggy and in a horrible mood at night i get overwhelming thinking and before i sleep i get very made depresion, anxiety and i get nervous and scared sometimes it feels like theres bad spirits and entitys around me in my trip report i explained how there was an elve rewiring my insides at hyper-speed his hands could go threw my stomach and he was making tool sounds and working very fast i dont know what this halucination was about but i think it was a bad elf does anyone have any suggestions of how to cope with this?!! its seriously starting to haunt me i dont know what to do i feel like i need some xanax or some serious therapy but i dont have any health insurance

Hey scooby!

I know its not easy, we have had a few people come up here with troubled experiences, but I can say that with time and integration work, it generally seems to work out well. You are right now in the toughest part, which is soon after the overwhelming experience. There are a few tips we can give, but ultimately you will be the one going through this. Know you have our fullest support here. Ideally if you cant work out, some kind of psychological help could be good, but you say its not possible due to money? Please try to research if there arent some sort of cheap alternatives, organizations that can help with free/cheap psycholgical help, etc. In any case for the moment lets try to give you the best we can, knowing the limits of communication through internet.

Please first of all read the health and safety section, specially the integration part: https://wiki.dmt-nexus.m...h_and_Safety#Integration

I know this doesnt really help your feelings but remember that crisis are often oportunities for growth and learning, so try to see if there is anything you can learn about this. Maybe write it down if you can.

You have gone through an unsettling experience that has shaken you to your core. Now your psyche/soul must rearrange itself, and some things you can do will accelerate/aid this process. Are you exercising regularly and eating well? This is essential! Do you have anybody who can give you support in your family/social circle? Can you try to express yourself creatively, through music, poetry, art, writting, etc ? Do you have any hobby and/or productive activity you can dedicate to? What about nature, can you go to some ocean or forest/river and get some soothing nature stimulus?

Check the link I gave and keep us updated on your situation. Good luck friend, I hope you get through this soon.

thank you so much for your support and guidence you gave me a great idea. I think im gonna go camping this weekend and maybe go fishing maybe going out into nature will help me get rooted back to my original mind-state my whole trip i was indoors i didn't go outdoors till i stoped peaking and i had a massive headache and my eyes were sore from moving around so much

Sounds like a great plan scooby. I agree with the suggestions end gave you - physical exercise, breathwork, diet (as in healthy eating), also sleep, and general activities that you enjoy doing should really be pursued at this point. Try getting a healthy rhythm in your life. If you feel bad in the evenings try working out at some point during the day and going to bed early.

I also strongly recommend finding an outlet for your emotions/issues, either through writing a journal of some sorts or some other creative form. Paying attention to your inner movements is important but over-indulging by repeating the same observations will do nothing for you. At least for me when I write down my feelings I generally don't repeat the same observations, because otherwise I'd be repeating myself. There is a sense of progression in what I write, and I think this is the whole idea of 'working through' these kind of issues.

If you feel you are assailed by bad spirits, or negative thoughts, try working with mantras or maybe even symbols to dispel them.

Also maybe try not to run away from feeling unpleasantness but rather face it and ask it/yourself why you have this sensation of negativity and unpleasantness - what is the core of it? If you feel something arise in you like this, try giving it some attention rather than trying to make it go away.

If you have trouble sleeping and exercise alone doesn't help, maybe there are some herbs that can help you get some rest. In general I would think fresh air, good food, physical exercise, sunlight,... can all benefit you in this situation.

Meditation, contemplation, some good conversations, using music to delve into your emotions, a book you resonate with etc can also help.

In general, remember, you are not alone. Not only will you get all possible support from the nexus, but also, we are all connected in intricate and inexplicable ways. Don't fret. "No single thing abides, but all things flow," said Heraclitus...

I wish you the bets. May you have the strength and courage to pass through this.

much love
Enoon

It is not if you will make it through this integration period, but when and how.

With a patient, open, accepting attitude, great things are possible.

Try to do things that are "mundane" or otherwise considered "normal" activities. Your state of mind sounds a little alarming, if it's effecting you emotionally that immensely. Going fishing sounds like a good idea. Keep yourself occupied and try not to be stuck in trains of thought about "real" or "unreal", every psychonaut I know would drive themselves mad if we focused on those thoughts alone. Try having simple fun, and do things you normally enjoy, and be in the company of friends if you like. Most importantly, it sounds like you need to take a break from psychedelics until you feel like you've integrated your difficult experience into life efficiently enough to have another trial with psychedelics. Take care man, peace.

hey scooby , sorry to find you in an uncomfotable situation my friend , you need to do some integration work now ,

i agree with endlessness and enoon , try excercising regularly(jogging,running,gym,martial art) it is important ,
what i've found to be most soothing over the years to the integration process is to have a way to creatively express yourself through music , art or writing (extremely important)

camping and spending time in nature is a great plan , go for it ,
relax a bit more , negative emotions can sometimes build up if you are thinking too much so try to keep your mind empty , try to observe more than thinking incessantly
even if the real world appears a little illusory to you , try to still have a good time
keep well , i have a feeling you will heal soon

Maybe you should try to find out for yourself what exactly your problem is. You're not very specific. Are you looking for a meaning in life or do you feel a fear to lose controll over your own mind?

sorry to hear you are in an unclear state.

my advice would be to do what some others have suggested, and what your planning to do. a nice relaxed weekend out in nature should help out.

Concentrate on the fact that you're part of the nature you're observing...

the tree's feel no need to call them selves trees and they have no trouble in just doing what they do, well...

The same with clouds...clouds morph and change in different currents but do not resist the movement.

Maybe look into some Zen Buddhism and read some koans. they won't immediately answer and solve all your questions, but they will shed some light on the mind's repetitive habits,processes and mental inclinations that send us round in circles form time time to time . Try and see if you can figure out what it is in you, (in a beyond-primal and fundamental level ) that causes and creates such questions to arrive in the first place.

You're just experiencing a cyclic and dualistic shift in focus. things will be clear again in no time

You are the one that must put the aiding stepping stones in to place to help cultivate and harvest clarity

Just got back from an awesome camping trip! I found myself again thank you all for all the advice much appreciated! i feel much better

I'm very glad that you found yourself again. Can you maybe describe how you feel now about what you have been through and how the camping trip made you find yourself again? This since it might help other people who have to deal with the same thing.


Kind regards,

The Traveler

Well I bought some insense and listened to some binereal beats and looked up some breathing excersises I find myself often getting lost in my thoughts again and when this happens I just close my eyes and take long slow deep breaths and picture my thoughts as clouds floating by untill my minds sky is clear. after I was pretty clear headed i called up some very close friends and planed to go on a camping trip near the gulf, we set up camp near the beach, I kept in mind you guys saying to listen to the water and be near nature it was a sober trip and i began explaining to my friends what had happened and i got some very good support from them and i relized im not alone even if this is just an illusion why try and decode it ? so i took a long walk on the shore line by meself and maryjane i rolled a spliff and started thinking deeply about how everything is interconnected and we all rely on eachother it is very hard to explain my thoughts because my vocabulary isnt very good im italian so its just hard for me to express myself in english but i had very deep thoughts and the ocean and the sound of the waves the smell of the water and the sound of the seguls made me relize how sweet life can be i am going to practice more outdoor activitys i have been staying inside to much and thinking myself crazy theres somthing about being clcosed in a materialistic man made dome that depresses me i hope anyone who has had a situation like me can get threw it dmt changed the way i precieve life it change me for good in all im not sure if i regret doing it but it did make me relize how presious life can be but on the other hand how overwhelming it can get when it shows you how complex it really is . Honestly i might be in a straitjacket if it wasnt for you guys thank you - scoob

Hey scooby im very very glad you are doing good! I know life is so damn complex and its hard to make sense of it, I dont think anybody really knows what the hell this is all about But lets take it step by step, try and stay healthy, get support from those close to us (and support them back when they need), and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

Much love and be sure that if there's anything we can do, we're here

By the way your expression is just fine, a lot of us dont have english as first language but I think you're getting your message across wonderfully


(and if you permit me one small nitpicking, maybe break your words into smaller paragraphs for easier reading? Thanks )