My name is Wallace.

I've signed up to these boards, or the 'Nexus' for a few reasons. The way in which I found this place is through google searching "White Light DMT" and coming across a thread here. I was on my way to post there and share an experience before realising you needed to post here first. I figure there's no harm in gaining more knowledge on the subject and people here seem really switched on, so I'm looking forward to some discussions! Let me also just say I am so glad to find a place that supports scientific evidence and open perspectives.

I read another post that started something like this, so i'll state the drugs in which I have used so people are aware. Marijuana - quite heavily for a year whilst I was living abroad, I had no real ill experiences up until a year ago (will be explained) when I started becoming paranoid whilst smoking. Mushrooms - My favourite drug as of now, I have gone on probably 4 or 5 trips, I have never seen colours of shapes whilst using Psilocybin. MDMA - I think around 3 or 4 times, my first time was an amazing experience, I have never taken more than one capsule and since the first haven't experienced anything too significant. Speed - 3 times, 1 average dose and two incredibly small ('wake me ups' all within the last 3 weeks.

The greatest and worst experience that I have ever encountered however is love. A year ago I met another individual and had quite the experience. Initially it was 3 nights of about 16 hours in which we smoked a little pot to begin with the first couple nights and simply connected non stop. It was the first time I've ever had so much in common with another, the first time I had seen myself (the definition of myself is up for scrutiny), the first time I felt true and non-ego based love, the first time I had felt complete and completely grounded, yet entirely happy. The first time I had felt no fear in any way and been able to communicate openly and fluidly with others (not just the individual), the first time I began to understand what I was capable of physically and artistically, the first time I ever felt entirely free, the first time I had an OBE, the first time and the first time I had a white light experience. The first time I experienced telepathy/synchronicity and the first time I truly accepted I'm a dork (still working on that one these days hahaha). The connection with this person was incredibly intense, lasted 2-3 weeks and has simply left me mind-fucked, paranoid and unsure of myself ever since. Good times!
It opened my gates of possibilities, spirituality, and inhibitions. Basically it was 2-3 weeks (honestly can't remember) of feeling high, whilst completely sober. I generally slept anywhere from 2-5 hours a night feeling completely refreshed in the morning, experienced synchronicity like no other (in every way from buses to people) and felt like I wasn't there, yet was, the entire time. The attraction that I pulled in was beyond my own belief, I had people lose their thoughts and speech constantly, and basically felt like a magnet. Never worked so fast in my life and been so 'switched on'.
The only way I could describe it at the time was feeling like God. Or maybe just Jesus.
By the way, if anyone else has had a similar experience I would love to share experience with you.

Before this I was a spokesman for 'you die, you go in a hole and that's it', since then I have no idea what to think. Since then I have come across many people in the 'New-Age' box, Reiki practitioners or participants and people talking of reptilians. I have had Reiki healing performed and felt fantastic afterwards, I have received my Reiki Stage 1, however felt as if I didn't learn anything too new to help my understanding and decided as much as I would love to energy heal, do not wish to continue it until I have healed myself. I am also weary of new age beliefs and 'wa-woo' and though I looked into it quite deeply and thought 'Oh that's possible!', I am coming back (I feel) to a balanced view that involves more science, as that is what I was brought up on. My view of what is possible within the human race, society and our perception of reality is utterly different however.
I have experienced a few OBE's since, and quite a few white light experiences. I have also experienced Synchronicity/telepathy with another individual I was traveling with, as well as a white light experience with them which was incredibly exciting for us. During a sleep paralysis moment (something else I never used to experience), I began getting high pitch noise, weird language (which some call light language, and something that I have come to realise I have muttered during various stages of consciousness before, not just had through these experiences), vibration in visuals as I was viewing myself from third person, and then broke through the white light to see Greys/Annunaki. My friend who was little spoon at the time experienced geometric shapes and colours, the same noise and vibration then white light as well.

In conclusion, I am excited to learn more about DMT and others experiences as it has been of extremely large interest to me this last year, I would love to communicate openly with others on the emotional experience level of both trips and 'sober' reality to help in the grounding of myself again and perhaps understanding of what is going on, as well as help others and share knowledge and experience. I am a conspiracy enthusiast, have a large interest and understanding of the Mayan calendar from the perspective of Calleman, Arguelles, Clow etc, a Terrence McKenna fan, as well as Sagan, Einstein, Tesla, and Michio Kaku. I love to draw and paint though have lost all inspiration lately, graffiti and music are things I love.
I feel there are links between quantum mechanics and DMT, however I have been pursuing some form of magical/scientific answer for the last year to explain what I experienced and basically justify my views now to scientific minded friends, something I am giving up on as it hurts my head without going new age and feeling like I might just be going crazy instead (though it makes sense to me).

My favourite thought I have observed which came to me on mushrooms whilst on the Canadian West coast is "The Keepers of Earth shall be grounded by truth". Around that time a friend of mine was reading out Bhagavad Gita to me, felt like my mind was being blown.

"All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.." I now wonder what would happen if I actually took acid.

Peace, lots of love and hope you are having a lovely day/night

Welcome to the Nexus. That love is some powerful shit.

Thank you

It definitely is! I can't wait to see what is in store for our race in the coming years

Cheers Wallace,

wow, your experiences sound really overwhelming. I think it's healthy to realize that you don't know what to think and even more so to allow it. I think desperately grasping for some kind of belief just to make your potential future known is just that - a desperate attempt to confine the ineffable.

When I was younger I had a few very intense and prolonged experiences with *love* and two very special individuals. Not quite as overwhelming as you describe but it involved non verbal communication among other things and it changed me from the inside out. One of the worst side effects of these experiences is that most other human relationships I've had since then pale in comparison because they lack this connection which I know is possible. Sometimes time makes up for this - the longer you know a person the more you can figure out how to connect - but it's not the same as sort of feeling it in a flash, this feeling raining down on you, drenching you entirely.

Are you still friends with this other person? How did your relationship change after it was over?

Personally I'm still friends with one of the individuals I spoke of. The other I suppose is lost to me, though I guess the connection on some level will remain forever.

Have you experienced dmt before? What attracts you specifically to spice? it can be full of love and light.

I wish you the best in your future travels!
cheers & love

Enoon

Thanks Enoon

"I think desperately grasping for some kind of belief just to make your potential future known is just that - a desperate attempt to confine the ineffable." Definitely agree. In such a sudden experience like it was where I finally felt complete, I attached a lot of the experience to the other person which I have come to realise was not necessarily a mistake, but dangerous. I was running on pure emotion and thought it was an instance of "together forever", coupled with the intensity of emotion it's been incredibly hard to let go of but I feel like I'm getting there and re-surfacing those things I found then and there inside me on my own path.
What I think I struggle with the most currently is simply with who I am, though I try not to think about it. The personality part, as well as the old skeptic scientific self and the one I found largely in that experience (though have seen since) seem to be clashing a lot of the time. I'm not the best at letting things, especially those I have done, go, so I'm working on healing from the deepest level out and self forgiveness. Mind you catch me in 20 minutes time and I will probably be looking at this saying 'Man you're a dick! Who cares and go have fun!'

" One of the worst side effects of these experiences is that most other human relationships I've had since then pale in comparison because they lack this connection which I know is possible." Understand completely! I vowed to not settle for anything less afterwards, however in short time that turned dangerous as it had me in a place where I saw everyone as not intentionally/consciously lower, but not capable of that kind of love and freedom and it rubbed off onto friends and family. Repairing relationships and that narrow view has taught me how important honesty is.

I'm no longer in contact with the other person. It was a tricky situation where at the time I met her, I was in an on again-off again relationship with someone I had moved across the pond (Canada) to continue a relationship with. I wanted to finish that relationship at the time before moving forward so that it never came into a new relationship, however through dishonesty/lack of balls/trust on my part and as well as misconceptions from the other it all fell apart. It is the greatest loss I've ever come across in my life, though really I haven't lost anything! The connection got fairly intense and negative, though there were flashes of our original connection, I lost confidence in myself and basically spent the next 6-8 months in a paranoia phase with very low self esteem. I know that connection is still there, however whether I come across this person, where we both have forgiveness in our hearts and get to share it ever again I'm trying to let go of and not think about, by reconnecting with the experience and forgiving myself firstly. I had tried to contact her a couple times afterwards in quite a deluded state against her will to explain situations etc, which turned into being named a psycho and stalker, so I left a letter before leaving the country with a little artwork and walked away from it.

I'm happy to hear you have friendship with at least one of the individuals you shared your connection with. Does it ever play out into complications in a friendship?

I haven't experienced DMT before through external use. However from being around many people who have used it, reading Strassman's book and others research and personal stories on it, I feel as if there is a possibility that DMT or something similar plays a factor in the OBE's, white light and sleep paralysis experiences I and others have gone through in a natural release. Do you or anyone else here know if that is a possibility or fallible?
Afterwards I was also seeing entities and experiencing hallucinations, the stronger my belief that everything would work out with that relationship, the stronger the experiences were. Yet over time, also the more paranoid I became. I also wonder if there is any way that could be linked to Schizophrenia? To me it makes sense that one may hold onto such experiences, whether naturally or chemically experienced and not want to let go of it. Like people getting stuck in acid trips too.
It's the reason why I am interested a lot in DMT, basically when I went through all of it a year ago DMT seemed to be everywhere in my mind and conversations of others. Currently I feel it will help me release and let go of tying those intense emotions to another individual, a single experience and also help explain perhaps a bit further to myself what my OBE's and white flashes are, or at least get to experience them in a more controlled environment
I have a strong interested in LSD and mescaline, however when I have been offered LSD the last couple times I have declined out of fear some of the subconscious experience from past as well as childhood may come up, and I would rather leave it until a time I feel more comfortable to venture into it!

I hope that made sense, wasn't planning to write back in such depth at this moment (making dinner!) so my mind was a little in two places.

Peace and love!

In short. I felt like I got years wiser in a short time, gained a lot of understanding but at the same time none, given the greatest gift you could ever receive and then had it taken from me without knowing why.
My 'ex' partner at the time described it as giving a kid the greatest christmas present in the world that filled them with that pure innocent joy. Intensify it (as someone who has seen spirits and auras occasionally she said there was just light emanating from me) to the point the amount of energy could be dangerous in the wrong hands. Give it to a 22 year old man who has no idea what he's doing with it and is really, well, crazy. Understand it's maybe a bit too much and then take it from him haha

There is definitely a similarity between the dmt experience and sleep paralysis and some say OBEs as well. Personally I've not had the classic OBE with dmt yet, but I have had some with high doses of acid, mushrooms or K (once). I'm not sure what you are expecting to find with dmt - it certainly has no direct answers as far as I can tell - but it might be enriching and inspiring and wonderful nonetheless. Insights can be gained into these areas you are interested in, but I'm fairly sure there's a lot more to the dmt experience as well, and it's not always predictable (or ever) where it will take you and how it will feel. I do think it's very special in how it works on us, and so regardless of your specific questions that I'm sure will be addressed in time, I hope you enjoy your exploration thereof.

I never had any complications with my friendship to this one person. I regret not being able to see her more often, since she lives on the other side of the globe, but we are still and always fast friends.

What you had sounds like what people in spiritual practice call a plateau experience - where you reach a different state, stay there for a while and then fall back down. spending the next few years working your way back up towards, trying to bring this energy down into your every day life (again). I hope it works out for you, I hope you can transform yourself and the universe according to your highest aspirations Don't settle for less, but recognize the spark (of the divine?)- the you in them (and vice versa)- in everyone.

much love
Enoon

Wallace, I saw you posted on my topic, so I came and read yours. Yes, I feel very in tune with what you've posted... It's incredible you've made such progressions without the use of any substance. I've been able to have similar experiences without any substances as well, but the substances are what put me in tune with the other things in the first place.
I only read your original post as I have to go to sleep now, but I bookmarked the topic and will be back.
Love and positivity.