Well, I am new the the Nexus, so first off... hello to all!
Right now I am currently in the middle of a personal dilemma. SWIM has visited hyperspace about 8 times, and broken through 3 of those times. The first experience was with a steam roller and an ash method. SWIM had no idea what hyperspace may hold for him, so without hesitation he took his first hit of 40mg and held for 20 seconds. Instant body load like he had never felt before. SWIM repeated, and understood why people kept saying to take a third hit "if you can". SWIM felt like he could not move, but somehow managed to take a third hit, without ever knowing if he even held it because he was looong gone. With his eyes open, he was barraged with the most rapidly morphing, color changing, geometric patterns ever witnessed. It was so beautiful. SWIM could only mumble the word "amazing" in between laughter and near tears. The sounds from the tv sped up and seemed high pitched, with a tinny sort of undertone to them. this made SWIM laugh more. once the OEV's subsided, SWIM went outside to smoke a cig and watched the night time sky shift from black, to gray, to a sepia sort of hue, then repeat again. SWIM then began to cry from sheer joy and went up to his room to try and sleep. This was impossible. SWIM wanted to tell all his closest friends about the experience so bad, but it was much too late to call anybody. Eventually SWIM laid down and went to sleep, waking up the next day in a most fantastic mode.

This brings SWIM to the next two occasions. Both were on infused leaf, out of a bong. After about two weeks since SWIM's wonderful journey, he decided to try the infused leaves he had been making. SWIM went to his room, turned the lights off, lit a candle (had never done this before), and proceeded to load 100 mg of a 1:1 calea mix into an 18 inch bong. To this day, SWIM is still trying to recall the first couple minutes, for he thinks he never exhaled the hit, and blacked out. Once he came to, he had no idea he had smoked a hallucinogen and immediately panicked. the room was dark, yet brighter than daylight, and his brain somehow got a thought that the candle had lit his room on fire. At this point, he went downstairs and found a friend of his passed out on the couch. This did not sit well. SWIM thought he was the only person alive in the entire world. He started yelling, "Is there anybody here?, Is there anybody here?" SWIM's friend did not wake up, so he was thoroughly convinced he was the only person alive. He then proceeded to stumble back upstairs and pound on his room mates door. Thank god for SWIM's room mate. He instantly knew there was something up because SWIM's voice sounded very scared. SWIM kept asking if he was there, and at one point SWIM felt he could not even see his room mate even though he was physically in front of him. SWIM kept repeating three questions to his friend... What time is it? Is my room on fire? Did I break my bong? After SWIM's room mate would answer, SWIM would mumble "okay" in a confused tone, and then repeat the same questions. SWIM's friend then led him downstairs and got him water, and set up as comfortable as possible. The realization that SWIM was not the only person in existence began to fade, and at that point he began to have an awesome 45 minutes of LSD like visuals, and hysterical laughter. It was like a complete 180. The next day, SWIM was a bit emotionally and psychologically drained, and gained a strong respect for infused leaf.

The third breakthrough was on a 1:3 skullcap mix out of the same bong, but in a different setting. I know now that the setting was not conducive for a good trip, but SWIM did not realize it then. The tv was on and loud, lights were on, and my roomate and his girl were there for sitters, to hopefully prevent a repeat of SWIM's last trip. SWIM finally gathered the courage to hit the bong, held the strangely grape tasting smoke, and passed the bong off to his friend. Before the trade off even occurred, he was hit with the most intense carrier wave he ever had. It became so strong that SWIM felt no escape from it, and thought it was going to destroy him. It was in EVERY CELL of his body, just as the Lexicon said. Once it subsided, the noise from the tv became unbearable, so SWIM told his friend to turn the volume down. Once he did this, the silence then became so loud that SWIM asked for some mellow music, all while seeing the same intense patterns and colors he had grown somewhat accustomed to in his small collection of journeys to hyperspace. As SWIM began to start to panic, he kept repeating that he had done this to himself with something that he had made himself. For some reason, this simple statement snapped him away from the fear, into a good trip for about 8 minutes.

It has now been over two months since SWIM's last journey's. He has made many, many, different varieties of infused leaf, some changa, jungle spice,and batches of spice with different techniques. SWIM has spent the past two months researching ways to conquer the fear, let go, tie up loose ends, eat healthy and practice beginners meditation and yoga. SWIM literally FEELS the spice and blends calling him. He has gifted many friends who are all absolutely stunned with the spirit molecule, none of whom had experienced bad trips because of my experiences and the advice I read from the Nexus. SWIM really wants to go back to hyperspace, but he can't seem to actually hit the bowl with the lighter once he has packed it. The anxiety takes over, and SWIM feels everything he has tried to learn just goes out the window due to fear. It should also be noted, SWIM has never closed his eyes on any of his journeys, and now knows it is crucial to relaxing and letting go. Does it make a big difference? I would love to hear any advice and support from others to help SWIM get over the hump and get back to his work.

100mg infused with calea got swiy over 45 minutes?
thats seems a little longer than usual.

anyways,
swim also had the same problem, first on ayahuasca then on fb dmt.
while swim was about to light the bowl; anxiety overwhelmed and swim ended up putting the bong away.
it took about 2 hours of distraction with music and such to get into a happy mood and just before lighting it up,
swim didnt think of anything, totally blank. then when the buzz kicked in, again swim convinced the mind nothings happening
and did a final toke.

the trip was ordinarily extraordinary as usual. a good trip.
and yeah, relaxing works really well.

goodluck

Fear seems to be a big part of this whole process. It seems like your on the right track as far as setting is concerned.

Set and setting are very important to having a good experience.
I had an experience once where I was journeying alone and thought that the entire earth had been hit with some kind of alien force from space.
It felt like all people on the planet had been suddenly transformed into higher consciousness beings by some kind of alien ray and it was a global catastrophe. I thought there was a mother ship sitting over the earth.
I was trying to figure out how I was going to drive and rescue my family with transparent limbs. It wasn't until I got someone on the phone in a total panic that I figured out that things were ok. Its funny now but at the time.....

Don't be afraid of keeping your eyes closed. In many cases its more scary to see familiar things transform into unrecognizable shapes.
I consider my home to be my safe normal zone so i never do it there.

Knowing yourself is important . Knowing wether or not you have hidden or not hidden anxiety, stress or any kind of negativity hanging over you.
First and foremost is you must be in the best possible headspace with no extraneous worries or stress hanging over you. Thats just for starters.

Examine your motives for journeying, . state your intention. I always do a little prayer first , I state my sincerity and my love and i will even ask the universe to go easy on me ( half as a joke) but it works. Hyperspace loves sincerity and love.

Antrocles said : Purity of intent ... thats so perfect.

I have been terrified many times when faced with going in. I have a ritual now that can take a few hours to work myself up to a point whee i'm not afraid. You can work in gradually with small doses to test the waters. Keep candied ginger on hand in case you feel nauseous.

careful of dose always , if it gets dicey for you don't forget to breath. Deep steady inhalations can ALWAYS get you through a tough part.
Also you can talk yourself through difficult sections. Start talking to yourself, if your scared tell yourself its ok and your gonna be fine.
Its true you will be fine we always make it through.

Anyway all these things work for me, happy journeys!!

My fear often seems to be concerned with the possibility of taking too strong a dose and going further than I intended. So here’s something that’s helping me lately: I ask myself “How much can you smoke without feeling any fear?” If the answer is 10mg, then I’ll weigh out and smoke only10mg. If it’s 20mg, I’ll smoke 20mg. This allows me to follow through on my desire to have an experience (albeit a mild one).

I believe that preparing for a journey and then not following through due to fear reinforces the fear response and makes taking the plunge next time that much harder. So if I were to load up a full dose (25-28mg for me) and feel fear to such a degree that I want to cancel my journey, I would say to myself “OK, 28mg is too much tonight. So how much can I take without being overly afraid?”

It helps!

ayahauscan - 45 minutes definitely seems longer than usual, I have no idea why it lasted so long. I can never keep track of time well when in hyperspace, but the time was confirmed by my room mate, and that's not counting the couple minutes or so that I can't recall.

Felnik and gibran2 - Thanks, awesome advice. I can definitely feel I am on the right path, like I said I know I am getting the feeling that my spice and infusions are calling for me. They want me to be educated, whether it's a fearful or happy trip, and they get disappointed everytime I chicken out. I will make sure to state my intent, as Felnik said and try to work on my breathing if I end up getting panicked. Also, gibran2, your statement on preparing for a journey and not following through reinforcing the fear is so true. This is why I want to take action and realize why I started partaking in this substance in the first place. I am planning to start off slow as gibran2 said, just to ensure that I get over the hump of not lighting the bowl. Thanks again for the advice, I knew the Nexus would help.

Just do it - Nike.

Hi heavenlypursuit,

I see that you thread is a bit old, but it has caught my attention by nicely describing relationship man has with this potent entheogen.

You just describing what me (and many of us) are dealing with - respect towards spice, even fear. Been there (still there) done that

DMT is NOT a everyday party drug or 'social lubricant' in any form of administrating. One has to hold respect toward its potency, 'cause nothing is going to prepare us to experience. It is indole hallucinogen, but with unique capabilities to crack the reality (or way our minds handle it) and toss us into that crack with no control on our side.
All this you already know, don't you? I'm taking DMT seriously, it is a study, an experimentation, a testing for me. I keep notes, dream dream diary, rituals...

Anyway, what I wanted to pointed out and remind myself too (I'm preparing for DMT session just now ) is this. I hope it will be some help to someone somehow. These are my observation from my work with spice.

1.DMT time - nighttime at safe place with no one around to disturb you. Darkness makes it nicer, easier to let go and more spiritual somehow.

2.Set up (very important). Here is something I agree with 90%

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=9024

3.Rituals: I talk to spice before I bother it. Asking it to show me gently what I desire to see, to learn. If you think about it, the plant (Jurema) was riped out from its natural habitant, brought halfway around the world, cut, crushed, dried, treated with harsh chemicals, just to teach me 'the monkey' something what I have only small chance to understand anyway. It is probably angry!:evil: Jurema was a symbol of revolt fought by Inca tribes against spanish conquerors. Shamans were executed for its worshiping and demonized by Christian missionaries. Shamans believed that Jurema is 'plant God'. I decided to treat his majesty that way out of shear respect.
Enheogens were always ritualized. It is healthy relationship with the plant in my humble opinion.For some, rituals sounds silly, so don't laugh at me

4.I recommend right administration method. For me it is GVG. Best free base pipe available. No doubt about that. Breakthrough guaranteed. Up to 30-35 mg administrated in one hit of smooooooth vapor! Healthy way to smoke tobacco and gunja to. Actually for gunja it is perfect - the bomb worth every penny.

5. THE FEAR: In my opinion (so far), DMT is just mirror of our minds. The unusual tool for mind exploration, psychoanalysis. Many people here on Nexus realized that we are the ones who allow demons in. I know the FEAR. After one particularly bad trip and first with spice :

https://www.dmt-nexus.me...aspx?g=posts&t=13303

it took me 6 weeks to collect a courage to bother this jurema god again. But in retrospect I see it all differently and it had actually made me stronger. I would not take it so seriously now after experience I gained.

6.I have been given the ability of lucidity in dreams by DMT. It is whole new dimension to explore and great fun! It is journey or path itself, but I don't want to start that story...it would keep me writing for hours, that is how much I'm fascinated by it right now.
Just pointing out, that I do few hours long DMT sessions (4-5 breakthrough attempts) in the late night before I go to sleep. If it's done properly with bit of luck, there is huge chance to realized dreaming state when being in it. Somehow the mind is harder to get fooled by dream after DMT session (I'm guessing). It is working, but to keep that ability one need to trained it. Enough of this subject.

Anyway I hope I didn't bore you and hope this mumble is any use to someone here. If not, please forgive me, I just fell like writing it to remind myself.

Regards,

Zubidlo,

Fantastic post, and a great help. SWIM will hopefully see you in hyperspace tonight, for he has conquered his inhibition, prepared his space exactly how he wants it, bought plants to offer to the spice gods, purchased copal resin to make his room a sacred place, and is now planning to SMILE...

And Wsaged, the eyes will be closed.

SWIM is planning on either using his spice or the new bufo he extracted. Either way, this weekend will be SWIM's reentry back into hyperspace. Wish him good luck and positive thoughts. Thanks everybody.

Right on! This is very good advice.

I think we all have our difficulties launching from time to time.

I believe the fear is very instinctual. DMT creates a big shock to the system, so the system isn't sure if it wants any more.
If the body is instinctively trying to fight the chemical, it would probably make it very difficult to relax into a good trip.

Mind over Matter, convince oneself that one requires DMT and that it's all good.
Even once smoked and its getting absorbed into the system, I find it helps repeating to myself "let it in",
allowing the chemical to be absorbed and to not reject it like a poison.
Positive reinforcement.

Similar to if I take something which makes me nauseous and I repeatedly tell myself "it's okay, you want this in you!" it makes a huge difference.
I think our systems do take conscious orders from us that can override instinctual responses such as nausea or fear.
It's the repetition that makes it stick.

The mind has such a short time to react to DMT I'm sure instincts play a huge part of how the brain will deal with it.
It's all about getting those instincts to work with the medicine and not against it(fear).

Set and setting is very important too.
In my experience, the less amount of external stimuli I have to distract me, the easier it is to let go.
Reduce the chance of invoking a "threat-response" as much as possible, and it will likely make future journeys that much smoother.

SWIM is happy to report he made his initial journey back to hyperspace. After nearly three months of trepidation, he hit some of his mullein infused leaf out of a mini-bubbler. He packed a small amount and inhaled the smoke deeply. He knew the dose he set would not be a breakthrough, or even too visual for that matter, but he wanted to get over the fear. This was definitely accomplished. At first SWIM got up suddenly when the spice took hold, and then realized this was him fighting it, which has led to his previous problems. This time he stopped that feeling with some deep breaths, and went outside to watch the rain from his patio. Visuals were very mild, sort of a fuzzy cloak over my vision, but the sound of the rain hitting the ground was absolutely serene. SWIM had not felt so calm in a long time. He felt as if he could trace the path of each raindrop from the cloud to the ground, and just the thought of the flight path seemed to make him content. Everything just seemed right. SWIM is going to try another infusion tonight, but at a potential breakthrough dose. He thinks it will either be his changa blend, electric sheep, or just a bigger dose of the mullein. Thanks for all the support guys. I know this report was far from amazing, but it was important for me to share. Once SWIM takes his bigger dose, he is hoping to give a profound and detailed trip report to the nexus. Until then, safe journeys to all.

Also, does anybody notice a distinctly sweet taste when they exhale their infused leaf? SWIM tasted grape when he smoked his scullcap, and the mullein produced a strong bubble gum taste. Both tastes were positively delightful.