I had some time to myself today so I figured why not take a psychedelic journey? But I didn’t feel up for a pharmahuasca trip, too long, and I probably wouldn’t sleep tonight, and I have to work early tomorrow, so better save the dmt.

I KNOW!!!! I’ll try salvia instead. I have some 10x left over. The thing is though, I have tried smoking salvia before, it hardly did anything, I just felt like I was spinning.

You gotta understand this, it might not seem important, but it is and you’ll see why later…… I am by no means a smoker! I simply cannot handle smoke. The times I have tried smoking salvia before were hell because I just cannot handle the smoke. I can’t help coughing it up, I can’t hold it in, it forces me to cough like a maniac. I’ve tried so hard to keep it down to the point where I’m rolling on the ground punching myself trying to keep it in, but I just can’t. But, for some reason, I thought today would be different. I thought I would load the bong until it just can’t take anymore, and take in as much as possible. I don’t care if I waste aany because so far it hasn’t produced anything anyway. And I knew there would be no point in reloading the bong because one puff is all I’ll be able to handle. I’ll be coughing my brains out after one hit.

Anyway, I go down to the forest to do some exercise and relaxation, and eventually to take the salvia. The motivation came from watching youtube videos of people laughing their asses off!! Really just laughing hysterically. I just had to find out what the hell was so funny . I’ve heard people say “It’s an inside joke you’ll only get when the Salvia Goddess reveals the joke to you”. That’s it, I’ve gotta see what the joke is about. And I heard people talk about the things they see…. Dancers, a party… a circus, tones of stuff. And I wanted to see that!

So, I load the bowl to the max, and torch light it, and start sucking. Immediately I could feel my throat close up and I gagged. I pushed through it though, and took in as much as I could until I was at the point of uncontrollable wretching. I coughed a bit and knew I couldn’t take any more. I flexed every muscle in my body to try to keep the smoke in. I was in agony! I looked at the bong and it was totally filled with smoke and smoke seeping out everywhere. I probably didn’t even get half a hit. It was such a nasty feeling having that smoke inside me, like I had been poisoned or something. But I was determined to have some kind of psychedelic experience. I could not go through this hell and get nothing out of it. I HAD to hold in the smoke.

But oh no, I could tell I wasn’t going to be able to hold it in. No matter how hard I tried, it was going to come out. I could feel it about to explode. No….NO!!! I thought, “I can’t believe I put myself through this again. It’s not even going to do anything and I’ve poisoned my lungs with nasty smoke God I hate this horrible smoke feeling, …. I can’t hold it in….”BLAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!” I exploded out. And from the bottom of my heart, I screamed with primal fury and anger….. “FUCK THIS SHIT!!!!!” and proceeded to virtually cough up my organs. And I was sort of laughing because I couldn’t believe I put myself through this and got nothing out of it. Like if I was one of those guys on the youtube videos, it would be like, “HA HA!! You went through all that and nothing even happened.”

But the incredible thing is this….. by the time I was finished screaming “FUCK THIS SHIT!!”, I realized that I had already broken through. It was as if the anger and energy that I expelled when I screamed was the force that smashed this reality to bits. I could see myself being pulled apart and my last words repeating…. “fuck this shit…. Fuck this shit… fuck this shit”. As if the entire universe had led up to that critical moment and the last words of my life were “fuck this shit!!!”.

Suddenly, I got the joke. But it wasn’t “HA HA” funny… it was more like, “OH MY GOD!!!…. Oh my holy mother of God. This is the most profound unimaginable mind blowing thing there could possibly be. I am here. I am now…. I am all that is.” Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t anyone tell me? It’s so glorious. I took salvia thinking I was going to hallucinate, and realized that my whole life was the hallucination. I once again, realized the true nature of my existence. It blasted my entire life. It was just like the big doses of dmt, except less “intense”.

And I realized the intensity of the trip doesn’t really matter so much, it’s whether you’re able to recognize the essence of what you’re experiencing. As far as body load, it was not intense at all. I was able to stand or talk if I wanted, no OEV’s…. minor CEV’s. The visions were beside the point. I had realized what’s really going on. And this state that I was in gave me a message. It told me, “go ahead, go back to your regular life. It was me the entire time, it was all me." I knew this sensation would fade, I knew I was in the impossible sphere of ultimate infinite reality, which cannot be taken back to finite reality.

The message told me, “go back, live your life, be peaceful, or not. It won’t bother me at all what you do. Your entire life is a stage, MY stage, and you have the absolute freedom to make anything you want out of it. Go ahead and try to express what you’re seeing. You never will. Go ahead and theorize about me, call me an alien, call me an elf, call me God, call me whatever you want, you know you’ll never describe me. I am both beyond it, and AM all of it. You'll never encapsulate me or isolate me or define me. Anything you see or do or experience is just another side of me, but is not the full picture..... in the end, it all ends up as one. Go ahead and talk about science and atoms as if any of it is real, go ahead and make progress, or think you’re stalling. Go ahead and experience mystical states if that’s what you want. I am perfectly content with whatever road you choose, and wherever your life leads. Go ahead and seek ‘enlightenment’, and worship the forest if that is what you want to do. Or you can go ahead and watch tv and get addicted to potato chips and waste your life away. I’ll be fine with that too. It’s your choice. I infuse ALL of my manifestations with the exact same extraordinary love and care. You can get angry at the state of the world, you can be disgusted with your own life and it’s all fine by me. You have the absolute freedom to make ANYTHING you want out of this life…… so you might as well choose to be happy, might as well choose to let go of hatred and inner conflict, to let go of whatever is holding you back, to let go of whatever you’ve been hanging on to your entire life. You can choose to be utterly free….. but you have very limited control over the physical content of your life. You are completely free to choose how to respond to it. That is the gift of life that I give to you, my son. And one last thing….. ALL of this ends the day you die. The end WILL come. You might want to appreciate life. Just a suggestion.”

And all of this is happening as I’m coughing my fucking face off, my eyes are pouring tears because of how hard I was rejecting the smoke, my body in full convulsion mode. After the coughing subsided, I just lied there peacefully, floored by what I was experiencing. And I’m just thinking…. “it’s so beautiful, it’s so unimaginably impossibly beautiful. Why didn’t anyone tell me? I had no idea. THANK YOU!! Thank you so much!!” And there was some kind of party going on in my head. There were psychedelic visions, but they were vague, I didn’t really care at this point what I actually saw because the message and spiritual experience that I had was beyond anything in this world. It made the visions fairly irrelevant. There was just this incredibly happy benevolent being that was overjoyed to exist. It would just scream, I EXIST!!!! I EXIST!!!!! REJOICE!!!!! And it was partying in my head like it was 1982!! It felt like the whole universe was just partying and overjoyed to exist, having somehow manifested from absolutely nothing..... this was the greatest triumph imaginable. The universe exists! It is here, it is now. It is triumphant. There was such a benevolent force that was just so happy to exist, and so happy that I exist as its creation. I had the sense that it looks upon everything with such joy. If I had to put a form to the force I was seeing, it was an electric face of joy like this http://fc04.deviantart.n.../c/roger_essig_5_DMT.jpg and it keeps yelling, "LOOK WHAT I HAVE CREATED!! It is so beautiful!" and it goes on forever, eteranally triumphant in its creation.

This experience was like looking at myself very close up, and also very far away. This inner entity that I encountered was telling me that the universe is like a great painting. It is extraordinarily beautiful as a whole, it has meaning as a whole, but if you look close, the universe is made up of individual particles of color that have no meaning without relation to the whole. Each life is like an indidividual part of the painting. Each part is an equally important part of the whole. There aren't actually evil parts and good parts, just parts of different shades, like there are different shades of reality. From a segregated perspective, the person feels isolated and meaningless, not realizing they are an important part of the whole picture. From the salvia perspective, I could see how I am a fragment, yet fragment containing and supporting the whole. And I was getting the message that it's ok to just be the ordinary person that I am, or take whatever road I may take in life. Whatever road I take will be part of the magnificent beautiful ultimate plan. Just another part of God's great creation. I may not fully understand it as an individual, but I can learn to accept things as part of the whole.


Changing topic. I thought of all the people who smoke salvia, and wondered why they treat it the way they do. I wondered, how could anyone use this substance and not be completely changed forever by it? How can you use this and laugh at it? How could you come back from that experience and talk like all that happened was you saw a circus or skulls or whatever the heck you saw? As if the trip was nothing but seeing things that aren’t there? And just take the attitude like, “that was weird, man”. How can you not be utterly floored by it? How could you mess with people while on this? I thought about the youtubers who mess with their friends while they’re on salvia and they’ll say things like, “LOOK OUT!!!” or “where are your pants?” as if salvia is nothing more than something that confuses you, and anyone in that state is just a vulnerable prank waiting to be messed with. It’s incomprehensible. How could anyone use it and not see it as the most beautiful LIFE AFFIRMING experience there could be?!

I have to assume that not everyone has the same experience that I had, especially since I was only on like a half dose or something, I didn’t even hold in the smoke for 5 seconds, and only inhaled a fairly small amount of smoke. Perhaps there are things to be learned from psychedelics, messages that you’ll only receive if and when you’re ready. Otherwise, you’ll just see clowns or a circus or whatever and experience a funny body load, and not really learn anything from the experience, other than have a cool experience. But there’s not necessarily anything you can do to “be ready”. Take me for example, I was furious at the beginning of my trip. My trip started with me cursing the fuck out of salvia! and it was only 10x, and I only got in a small amount of smoke, and I only held it in for 5 seconds…. Yet still it was a life altering event, what a beautiful breakthrough. I just want to promote the respectful use of of entheogens. Personally, I was mad at the substance, but my intentions were still to learn from it.... not just take it to get a short freak out.

So, I guess what I’m saying is, each person has their own unique experience on psychedelics and in life. Also, remember that when on psychedelics, it’s really not about what you see, it’s about what can be learned. Take it with an attitude that you are taking it to learn and understand how your own consciousness functions. Don’t take it just because it’s freaky for a few minutes. I mean, you can take it for that reason as well…. but you might be missing out on A LOT if your intentions are in the wrong place. Taking salvia just for the fun of it would be like conceiving a child just to look at an ultrasound of it, and freak yourself out that there’s a baby in you. But having a child is a life affirming experience, and so too can be the case with a psychedelic sacrament. This may actually be a learned experience. You might learn to recognize the message behind the visions.

Also I learned that duration of trip is not necessarily needed. You can learn a lot from having your mind blown for 2 or 3 minutes.

Hehe, I am going to do some heavy doses of DMT tonight and reading your Salvia report makes me excited. Not to mention that Salvia is something I would like to try some day.

Great read fnog9, as always

I’m glad you had such a meaningful salvia experience. Oftentimes it’s very hard to extract the message, if indeed there is a message at all, so be glad that the message you received was so clear. Larger doses of salvia can be much more visual, but in a way that is very different from DMT.

Just like with DMT, on higher doses of salvia you leave your body behind and as a result lose awareness of your physical body. (Oftentimes you become other objects, with full physical awareness of being that object.) The fact that you were aware of your physical body suggests this was a lighter dose, but lighter doses, as you have discovered, can be every bit as meaningful as higher doses.

Also, higher doses of salvia, like DMT, can lead to difficult, frightening experiences. The likelihood of this occurring is even greater with salvia than it is with DMT, so be glad you didn’t overdo it!

I know this feeling exactly. I am continually amazed by this aspect of salvia -- that my past, my memories, my thoughts, surroundings, my being -- EVERYTHING -- was never real to begin with; and I seem to always wind up saying, once I can speak, "Are you kidding?!!! Are you f***ing kidding me?!!!!"

Great read, fnog9.

If you get a chance, try sublingual tincture. That is, IMHO, a much much better way to go than smoking.

Perhaps I will. Do you have a suggestion where to buy? I have tried the quid method before, but was nothing like smoked. Is the tincture as potent as smoking?

Please Do Not Smoke Salvia!


http://www.youtube.com/w...NgjE&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/w...WMig&feature=related

Safe travels friend

Why not smoke it? Considering the experience I had smoking, and comparing it to sublingual, I'm probably going to smoke it. As far as I could tell from the video, the only reason she had for people not to smoke it is because the natives don't. Is there any other reason?

I smoke 20X extract, but weigh it as carefully as I do DMT. (A typical dose is 18-25mg)

The traditional method of ingestion involves chewing and then swallowing at least 13 pairs of leaves. That’s a whole salad! Here’s what 13 pairs looks like:

There are few places to buy it, but you can try making a alcohol tincture as well.
Check out the Salvia thread for tips and stuff.

Smoking salvia is more like vape spice while sublingual tincture last longer but come on gentler.
It is possible to break through and have VERY insightful moments. But it's more hit or miss thing.
You seem more able to do what you want with your disembodied self than with smoked salvinorins.

Well, at least it worth trying a couple of times.

That is so true; tincture is much gentler. I have had several very deep journeys with tincture with all the ego loss and craziness of a high smoked dose; but tincture is never quite the utter jaw-dropping shocking kind of immediate obliteration that smoking can be. You could do both together (smoke after a dose of tincture) but wouldn't recommend it, at least not without a sitter. Unlike DMT, some have a tendency to get up and drunkenly careen about on salvia which can be pretty dangerous.

As for sources, as rOm noted, there are a number of different places to buy it (a search engine gives at least 4 right off the bat).

Wow what an awesome experience. I was actually going to smoke smoke 10x extract yesterday, and I've never smoked it, but I do have a gram that I seemed to misplace. Your journey does not relate to my notion of what actually happens, in the means of torture and confusion. You seemed to get a unique message out of it. This will reaffirm my action on whether or not I'll venture into it, but it makes me curious, nonetheless. I like how you were shown the universe to exist as a painting with different shades, each one being a pixel, as a metaphor is similar to what people think as being connected to a whole. Glad to hear your revelation!