Good morning Nailpolished!
Thats some combination of meds you're on!
I am familiar with your concoction and the most probable cause of your difficulty breaking through is Aripiprazole.Its a fairly novel anti-psychotic particularly with regards to its variable agonist/antagonist properties at the 5 HT (serotonin) receptors.
I think youre other meds take a bit of a backseat with regards to your difficulties.At least with Wellbutrin, you should find it easier to give up cigarettes should you be a smoker!!
I dont know anything about your history but if you were in the UK, a combination like this would be used in the more difficult cases of bipolar disorder.
You also need to be careful about stopping your meds for the obvious reason of your mental well-being but benzos like clonazepam cannot be stopped abruptly if you have been on it for some time.Same applies to lamotrigine as the risk of withdrawal seizures from both of these is significant.
Lastly I would strongly advise being INCREDIBLY cautious in your endeavors to break through as a relapse in your mental health is too high a price to pay for the experiences you seek.Take care!
I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous lechers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself with one hand while the other hand tries to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. It destroys me.