Most people know that one key to a healthy long term marriage is a good satisfying sex life, one that is satisfying for both partners. I’ve been married for more than 10 years, and we have better sex now than we ever had. My wife is Catholic and was not completely comfortable with sex at first. Over the years she’s learned to be completely comfortable with it, and now enjoys it far more than ever. She’s learned to be sexually creative, letting it flow from the very center of her soul.

Once you’re completely comfortable with sex, and you’re having it with someone you truly love, it becomes more than just sex, it becomes a spiritual experience, a blending of two souls. It’s an exchange of energies from one to another, with the main focus of that exchange being the pleasing of another soul. It’s a selfless act.

It took quite a long time for me to get myself back. My Ego was reconstructing itself. Finally, after quite a long duration, I was feeling perfectly normal. Well, actually, not really! It felt as if my life had just done a three-sixty. Actually, it felt as if my life had done a seven-twenty.

The traditional psychedelics are like little, tiny pebbles, while DMT is like a gargantuan and megalithic rock of impermeable and unsurpassable power.

The freedom from looking for meaning is probably the most meaningful of all.

Some use mind altering drugs as a religion in and of itself because it is an easy thing to undertake but very much intense so they feel like they are 'doing something'.

Here’s how seriously I think users of DMT should be when contemplating it’s use: you should be ready to die. You should be ready to give up everything. This is not entertainment for your personal amusement.

I think, quite honestly, that if you truly believe you understand this experience, you haven't seen ANYTHING. I think that if you still believe it can't possibly amaze you, you haven't gotten ANYWHERE close to the true face of DMT. And if your "brain knows what's going on enough not to be fooled", you haven't even gotten so much as a pinky toe through the door. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, guys, but that is truly the way it is.

Listen, I'm not trying to come off like the keeper of the true experience. I've been hanging around here a year and a half now, and I've still yet to write up a trip report. I would love to, really. I like to write, and this is a topic that for better or worse NEVER strays from my mind. I'm just not able to articulate it with any honest accuracy. Where I go doesn't translate at all, and I don't expect that to change. I can tell you what it means to me, I can break it down into pieces, but it's all just metaphor - and here's the thing - so is everything else.

What I can tell you is this (and please take it with a grain of salt; this is just a ridiculous attempt to articulate something I can't begin to understand):

For me, the experience goes MUCH deeper than anything I see or hear - and as mindblowingly, earth shatteringly, overwhelmingly visual as it certainly is at that level (and I'm not talking about sensing things you can only track peripherally; when you go deep, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING is RIGHT THE FUCK IN YOUR FACE), DMT (for me) is not a fireworks display; it's not a movie or iTunes visualizer. To go there is to BECOME the movie and look back through the screen from within. I myself become transformed and actually cease to be. I am de- and re-constructed perpetually, as part of a greater whole. It is revelatory beyond ALL human comprehension. I play a part in an infinite cycle of collective death and rebirth, and as much as I've been (which is more than some and not as much as some others), I can tell you that I HAVEN'T SEEN SHIT. THE RABBIT HOLE IS BOTTOMLESS.

If what I'm saying doesn't make sense, you'll just have to trust me when I say that you have only played around the edges. I don't care who you are, how many other drugs you've taken or how hardheaded you claim to be. DMT is just different. When you get it right, it will hit you like an atom bomb square in the face, and you'll come back shaken to the fucking core and humbled in ways you can't imagine.

Try this little experiment: The next time a fly flies into your room, and repeatedly bashes itself into your window in a vain effort to get outside, give the fly the answers it seeks. Explain to the fly the transparent nature of glass. Explain what glass is, what transparency is. Use whatever visual aids you need to get your ideas across. Maybe a Powerpoint presentation outlining the apparent paradoxical nature of glass – solid, yet transparent. Show the fly a diagram mapping the path to freedom.

Provide the fly with answers to every conceivable question it might have. (I imagine the fly’s questions would center on escape.) In spite of your best efforts, guess what --- the fly will keep on bashing itself into your window, oblivious to the help you’re trying to provide.

1. Why did the chicken cross the road?
2. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
3. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it really make a sound?
4. Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
5. What is black and white and black and white and black and white all over?
6. How many pecks of pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?
7. Where can a one legged waitress find work?
8. What's that thing on Aaron Neville's face?
9. Where's the beef?
10. Who killed J.R.?

Life is a mystery and should be enjoyed, not decrypted.

Can you read this? If you can I'd like to award you the Ludicrously Incredible Necessarily Expansive Super Profoundly Amazingly Cool Imaginative Nexian Guy Award, otherwise known as the L.I.N.E. S.P.A.C.I.N.G. Award

(...)
Brain chemistry has incredible potential. Imagine if people discovered a drug, and when people take this drug, they suddenly have the ability perform the world's most difficult math problems. People who take this drug make Einstein and William James Sidis look like morons. If we ever found a drug like that, everyone would have a super hardon for it. Scientists would take it very seriously because that drug would happen to affect the one area they care about, logical intelligence. That drug would have practical application, we could use to build stuff and solve logical problems. But we have already discovered drugs with an even greater impact than super intellitgence. We have discovered entheogens. Entheogens have a super power far greater than the ability to solve math problems. Entheos unlock a part of the brain that reveals ultra intense and meaninglful revelations to the person... reveal things about their own personal life, and give people the direct experience of being a part within a divine whole. Nothing in logical life compares to this experience. It is greater than logical thought. The psychedelic experience may or may not have practical potential, but the potential for the individual cannot be understated. Those who do take psychedelics do seem to become more humble, loving people.... and as such, the practical application of psychedelics is also profound, as they seem to make us more human.

Don't read too much on nexus if you can. Just begin to develop your own personal relationship with the spice.

Forget the pressure of trying to figure it out just flow with it and see what unfolds.

I don't get the last few sentences, but the rest is great.

I'm not sure if I had a breakthrough, but I've learned that it doesn't really matter. I've learned to stop putting labels on my experiences and instead just enjoy them for what they are...which is usually mind-blowing. I also learned that I need to stop having preconceived notions of what a trip is supposed to be like, because that limits the potential of my trips. I've decided that I'm going to take a break from reading people's experience reports and instead just concentrate on making my own experiences happen. I also had an epiphany on how I've been learning lessons through spice usage; it's not something I can really explain but I suppose it can be summed up as "I was looking for a man and instead found a system."

being told not to panic and to accept it is like being told not to feel the pain when I smack you in the face with a bat

I finally quit. For good. DMT is a seductive and cruel bitch. It gives you imagined clarity and you think you know it all, but that's the trick. I’m a fucking fool. Trying to look for meaning in all that scrambled shit is insane. There is no fucking meaning to any of it. None. You can string together all the metaphors in the stream of conscious that it provides, but don't dare fool yourself that there is something there besides scrambling. God. Yeah, it plays with the most powerful concept that our brain can imagine. We think its touching divinity. It turns your brain into a slot machine and when you take it, you spin the wheels and some random combination of mental debris pulls your number. The strange synchronicities are all a deceitful and clever ploy to emphasize and reinforce the apparent magic of DMT, it all delusion, a faithful imitation of schizophrenia. Fuck that.

I had extreme euphoria and interesting experiences, but I feel that DMT just takes the idea of "significance", injects it with steroids and forces it upon whatever situation that you find yourself in. It amplifies and expands upon feelings and emotions but there is nothing there but the exageration. My epiphanies never stand up to the light of day when the carnival ends.

Lets look at this a bit closer for a moment.

"Trying to look for meaning in all that scrambled shit is insane. There is no fucking meaning to any of it."

"I guess I started DMT looking for answers to my existential despair and for a good time. In the end, it caused more pain than it was worth and provided no answers, just oddball questions and strange conjectures."

So here it becomes a bit more clear as to what you were expecting of DMT..You wanted it to answer questions for you.. and to give you a good time (DMT is not a female escort BTW)..And you sound quite angry, almost rejected by the fact that there were no ultimate answers and you couldn't distill any meaning from the metaphors it provides..

Let me ask you this..do you feel the same way about poetry?? Do you approach poetry with questions you desperately want answers to?..Do you read it in search of some ultimate truth?..

DMT is a mirror. What one sees when they peer into that mirror is a personal reflection, a reflection only relative to the one peering in. And how they deal with that reflection is up to them.

You're right Fractal, it's a chemical and I am using metaphors to describe it. I think that many of us feel that psychedelics have the potential for enlightenment and I had hopes that it could deliver something meaningful to my life. Unfortunately, in my experience, it failed at that. I don't believe in ultimate truth and I have given up searching. I reject the idea that DMT is a mirror because that would give it structure and form, it's roll of the dice, a mixer and a blender, a chemical that confuses while giving a sense of unity to the pandemonium. I think the experience is meaningless and absurd.

And I am angry that I was sucked into this. I feel like a fool, an idiot that I was so blind to it and that I bullshitted myself for two years. It just seems clear to me now. I elevated DMT above all other drugs and gave psychedelics a special status. It's a powerful and habit-forming drug and I refused to realize that until a few weeks ago.

Yes, I wholeheartedly agree. DMT can certainly be meaningful to people. So can the Bible, your nightly dreams, and astrology. I just realized that for me, there is nothing there but intense euphoria followed by crashing mindfucks that magically disappear and leave me wanting to do it again and again and again like Sisyphus pushing that boulder back up the hill for eternity. That's a bitch.

like sex??

I stopped looking for answers long ago..because there is no meaning to life other than personal meaning. I go for elegance.

The ambiguity of something doesn't negate the elegance of something.

The Bible analogy is perfect. Here is something that is held in high regard by the converted, has the potential to fundamentally alter your psyche, and is claimed to be divine. Sort of like entheogens, fuck that, exactly like entheogens. I reject both.

There is no ambiguity for me. I got high, had breakthroughs for hours at a time and saw the "elegance" as a hook, luring me deeper and deeper into it. Ever notice that you just keep getting higher and higher with DMT? There is no limit to what it can do or where it can take you. It's a mind game, and you keep doing it because each time is so damn novel and fresh. The drug fits like a hand in glove to certain minds, it's the perfect drug and I suspended all logic, rational thought and judgment for two years.

My greatest epiphany in life was done sober after I connected the dots. It's a drug, it's addictive, and your mind is a sneaky fucker with its brilliant strategies to keep you on the drug.