hey, at first reading your report, I was concerned you had called the paramedics, and then wondered how you could possibly get away with doing that... and then after reading you were in Iceland it made sense. :-)
Well, reading your experience, I thought, yeah, it can be like that. This is one of the deepest self confrontational materials there is... is there anything as deeply confrontational?
If you can use the phone, then you haven't gone THAT deep, a lot of the time, I'm totally GONE, unable to do anything - just totally focussing on the journey.
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I forgot who I was where I was and what I had taken, that alone made me panic so much, I thought I was going to get insane also.
Yeah, this is normal too... this is serious folks. You *are* going to go seriously out of your mind. You are going to let go of your mind. So prepare for it.
When I first started out for the first time, I had someone do polarity bodywork on me when I went through those cold shivers and was there for me.
Later sessions, I almost always did outside in nature and so whatever my actions were, they didn't effect anyone else. No matter what happens, you always come out the other side. It can be an ordeal. There are some really terribly, horrendous spaces you can touch with these materials... and of course, it can go the other way as well. But it is very fucking far from being "recreational."
Personally, I would recommend taking 50 grams of caapi tea and then 30-40mg of DMT for a first time... I see pharmahuasca as being more something to experiment with rather than to take seriously as a path, simply because a good tea is always going to better.
DMTripper, I've always found getting back on the horse, is ultimatley a good idea, even then, the horse can be a bucking bronco, but sometimes it is best just to pick yourself up and get back on it.