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Has DMT shown me that it's time to leave this place? (Peaceful suicide) Options
 
recoveringamerican
#1 Posted : 6/17/2019 11:22:22 PM

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Firstly, I'm not looking for anyone to try and convince me life is worth living or hearing anyone regurgitate all the clichés every other suicidal person is told. The point of this post is to find out if there's anyone else like me who feels maybe the universe has been showing them through life events that maybe this physical realm is just a sad excuse for existence, a joke that basically tricks people every day into believing that they must wake up and try their best for happiness and success when in reality there is so much more out there beyond this realm. I'm not coming from a place of extreme depression or pain at all, I'm actually more awake now than ever. My life isn't all that bad but it definitely could have gone a lot better and I know there are people who say there are people who have had it much worse and that I should be grateful for what I have but why? Why can't I just validly be dissatisfied with how things have gone and just tolerate the bullshit of this world when I could peacefully and willingly cut it short and dive head first into infinity to find somewhere new. Having a body fucking sucks. Living in a world with so many clueless, closed minded fools sucks. Is there anyone out there who has experience with this themselves or know anyone who has ever made it seem like they are being unplugged from "the matrix" of this world after experimenting with psychedelics (especially dmt) and just don't want to be around anymore? I'm 25, I've done enough in this world to understand what it's about and I'm not satisfied. I've made really great money on Wall Street, I've been with enough girls I've had enough thrills and pleasure to realize there's not much more to life than that and that I'm just stretching out the inevitable by sticking around. (I'm well aware that money and sex isn't what lifes all about I'm just emphasizing the highlights) I would go happily and peacefully. Freed from this joke of a reality. I have never had any diagnosed mental issues or any other tell tale signs of instability or health problems (just for the closed minded people who will suggest my dmt use made me suicidal lol)

I'm at the point where I can easily breakthrough to hyperspace without effort and navigate infinity effortlessly. I have an unlimited supply through my own bulk extraction. I'm able to do more than before and reaching higher limits each time. Why can't I be there all the time? That place is so much better than here. Yeah I could Make more money and buy more things and find love and have children but what is the fucking point when the real reality is waiting on the other side?

Isn't there something beautiful about choosing when and how you die? A certain luxury to it?
 

Good quality Syrian rue (Peganum harmala) for an incredible price!
 
endlessness
#2 Posted : 6/18/2019 12:58:49 AM

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I think psychedelics raise more questions than answers, we gotta be careful with using an apparent insight from a psychedelic trip to take such a drastic irreversible decision. You talk about the other reality being the "real" one, but I think you (and I and everybody else) have really no clue, we're just trying to make sense of this crazy universe and all the stimulus from different senses and states of consciousness.

We might or might not get another chance at life, who knows. The one thing we know is that we have this one, right? With it's up and downs, and unpredictability, but it's here.

Why not stay a while longer and see what happens? People's lives (and the state of the world) have taken many twists in the past. There are numerous people, even in this very forum, who have contemplated suicide at a young age such as yourself and never came through for a variety of reasons (or survived their attempt) and eventually are extremely thankful for being alive. It's not like suicide can only be done right now... People who kill themselves dont come back and be like "I should have done this earlier" lol... It's always an option you have. So why not stick around for some more and see if maybe there is an amazing thing worth living for around the corner, even if now it doesnt seem like?

If you feel like there are a lot of assholes around you, I suggest a change of air. Backpacking around the world, or going live in another country, going volunteering to really help people in need, etc.. It helps to step out of context we are used to, to get some perspective. So many things to experience, it's not about "having children or making money", these are just things you "can" do and could potentially be a part of your development and experience, but they are not the point in themselves.

While indeed the DMT world is amazing and seems like an independent reality, and it may be after death we go there or into some sort of psychedelic fractal infinity, it may also be something completely different, that we can't even comprehend. I'm not sure if we as near-monkey beings with our small brain, can actually comprehend what is out there and if any of this is an accurate conclusion.

We all face difficulties and I think it's reasonable to consider quitting, ending this "game", specially considering the bad news we read about daily, or the feeling of senseless to the isolated modern life. In this system we don't have a collective project as a society, we don't have integrated mechanisms to help us deal with the difficulties we go through as humans, we don't have balanced conscious elders that help guiding us through existential questioning. and each person is already so busy with their own troubles, they can barely help each other.

So we feel alone, isolated, living meaningless lives within a suffering world. But the news aren't statistically representative of the world, because they don't have any interest in showing the good things that are happening, it doesnt get enough clicks. And our brains will be biased to think things are bad because we are faced with that stimulus all the time. And the assholes we meet that seem plenty, I think are just loud, but a minority, there are tons of really cool people around. Also many more positive social changes can happen. Think about it, some years ago it would be unthinkable that weed and psychedelics would be legal, but seems indeed more and more in different countries it is going that way. Many other important changes could happen.

And in the midst of this crazy reality, the Nexus exists. And it is here for you, I hope you feel welcomed and supported. You can talk to people here at any time, get some perspective, have interesting conversations, get emotional support, possible new insights. I invite you to stay here a bit, maybe join our chat if you feel like talking to someone live.

Sorry if this wasn't the answer you were looking for, or if this fit one of the clichés you mentioned.
 
PurgeMasterV2
#3 Posted : 6/18/2019 1:06:51 AM

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You gotta find those golden threads...

Sounds like you have hit a point where you need to do some work here now in the physical to bring these two worlds together. Maybe there is inner work that you have not done yet? Separation from reality can make this realm seem false and temporary but I think it is much more real than any DMT realm you may visit. Dmt will make you think you have it all figured out until you start to try and itegrate.. and find out your still an unhappy, unaware, ungrateful lost boy who wants an easy out while everyone else works to fix the damage done by those who give up on self realization and cause great damage through their unawareness.

The thing that has helped me recently is realizing that you dont need to take drugs to connect with that which is beyond worlds of words...

I believe we incarnate for a reason.
 
Exitwound
#4 Posted : 6/18/2019 7:56:20 AM

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Haven't there been moments in your life when you thought it was not that good, but looking back you realized that these were actually very good times? I mean, the only true message that I have got out of DMT is "just play the fucking game".
Believe me, either direction you decide to take - there is no "right" or "wrong", nobody really knows for sure. But I really think we are here for a reason, maybe the reason is for our souls to mature. I'd say the message is indeed - just play the game.
 
dragonrider
#5 Posted : 6/18/2019 8:18:09 AM

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recoveringamerican wrote:
Firstly, I'm not looking for anyone to try and convince me life is worth living or hearing anyone regurgitate all the clichés every other suicidal person is told. The point of this post is to find out if there's anyone else like me who feels maybe the universe has been showing them through life events that maybe this physical realm is just a sad excuse for existence, a joke that basically tricks people every day into believing that they must wake up and try their best for happiness and success when in reality there is so much more out there beyond this realm. I'm not coming from a place of extreme depression or pain at all, I'm actually more awake now than ever. My life isn't all that bad but it definitely could have gone a lot better and I know there are people who say there are people who have had it much worse and that I should be grateful for what I have but why? Why can't I just validly be dissatisfied with how things have gone and just tolerate the bullshit of this world when I could peacefully and willingly cut it short and dive head first into infinity to find somewhere new. Having a body fucking sucks. Living in a world with so many clueless, closed minded fools sucks. Is there anyone out there who has experience with this themselves or know anyone who has ever made it seem like they are being unplugged from "the matrix" of this world after experimenting with psychedelics (especially dmt) and just don't want to be around anymore? I'm 25, I've done enough in this world to understand what it's about and I'm not satisfied. I've made really great money on Wall Street, I've been with enough girls I've had enough thrills and pleasure to realize there's not much more to life than that and that I'm just stretching out the inevitable by sticking around. (I'm well aware that money and sex isn't what lifes all about I'm just emphasizing the highlights) I would go happily and peacefully. Freed from this joke of a reality. I have never had any diagnosed mental issues or any other tell tale signs of instability or health problems (just for the closed minded people who will suggest my dmt use made me suicidal lol)

I'm at the point where I can easily breakthrough to hyperspace without effort and navigate infinity effortlessly. I have an unlimited supply through my own bulk extraction. I'm able to do more than before and reaching higher limits each time. Why can't I be there all the time? That place is so much better than here. Yeah I could Make more money and buy more things and find love and have children but what is the fucking point when the real reality is waiting on the other side?

Isn't there something beautiful about choosing when and how you die? A certain luxury to it?

No, you're wrong. If you think you've seen it all and you know it all, and your conclusion is that you're done, you haven't seen enough.

Apparently you haven't experienced the true beauty of it yet. You haven't learned how to fully open yourself to it yet, to embrace it. You haven't learned to be truly gratefull yet.

Maybe you DO suffer from a depression without realising it. Maybe you don't want to admit to yourself that you ARE depressed and you DO need help.

How is this post not a hidden cry for help? Did you realy expect to find anybody here who would say that you're right and killing yourself for the reasons you mentioned is OK?


 
leratiomyces
#6 Posted : 6/18/2019 12:03:53 PM
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Just wanted to point out an assumption you make, which I feel, is flawed

recoveringamerican wrote:
when I could peacefully and willingly cut it short and dive head first into infinity to find somewhere new.


Somewhere new? Where might that be?

If you are deciding to end your life you need to consider the possibility that there is nothing afterwards. No infinity and nothing new.

Therefore, the logical next question is, "is my current situation, and future prospects, worse than nothing"?

Here is the cliche you wanted. Life is a collection of experiences.

Have you had your fill at 25?

Many here will argue that a root and money doesn't cut it.
 
RoundAbout
#7 Posted : 6/18/2019 6:13:53 PM

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recoveringamerican wrote:
I'm 25, I've done enough in this world to understand what it's about and I'm not satisfied. I've made really great money on Wall Street, I've been with enough girls I've had enough thrills and pleasure to realize there's not much more to life than that and that I'm just stretching out the inevitable by sticking around. (I'm well aware that money and sex isn't what lifes all about I'm just emphasizing the highlights)


If you were to live twice as many years as you have, to 50, what do you think you would feel reading this quoted statement? I imagine it may be similar to reconsidering your thoughts as a teenager... are you really planning to stagnate the rest of your life?

If I thought that, I would imagine in my 50's I would just laugh at how enormously naive I was. But maybe I'm just immature currently relative to you.

Have you ever found something or someone you would die for? (<- somewhat rhetorical)
 
Mitakuye Oyasin
#8 Posted : 6/18/2019 10:49:55 PM

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You are considering leaving the movie theater just before the movie starts. Stick around and at least watch the first few minutes of the movie to see if you enjoy it or not. ;-)
Let us declare nature to be legitimate. All plants should be declared legal, and all animals for that matter. The notion of illegal plants and animals is obnoxious and ridiculous.
— Terence McKenna


All my posts are hypothetical and for educational/entertainment purposes, and are not an endorsement of said activities. SWIM (a fictional character based on other people) either obtained a license for said activity, did said activity where it is legal to do so, or as in most cases the activity is completely fictional.
 
xss27
#9 Posted : 6/18/2019 11:19:51 PM

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There are a couple of flaws in your reasoning, owing to the fact you are young, projecting fantasies and thinking emotively. Every young person passes through that stage, take some inspiration from the fact that you are more orientated towards a philosophical line of thought than caring about some celebrity or useless cultural cause!

I found my years 25-30 very challenging, trying to reconcile what I had discovered through psychedelic use and sober mystical experiences. I felt what you feel at the moment, I still do sometimes. Learn to separate your emotive thinking first before you decide to chop your head off, it is currently colouring your thinking too much.

Substituting the pursuit of one fantasy (sex/money) for another (hyperspace) is not going to solve anything.

You say you have figured the world out already. Maybe so. But how much of yourself do you really understand? Really understand. How much digging have you done, beyond dabbling in psychedelics? Have you investigated the possibility that what is going on inside may be prior to the outside?

If you kill the body you will lose the only tool you have for exploring the question to its conclusion. The dead know nothing.
 
WarpedDimension
#10 Posted : 6/18/2019 11:46:25 PM

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"The dead know one thing, it's better to be alive." ~Full Metal Jacket

It's true. Being dead will suck. Nothing to do. No preference. Let's say that you do end up in some hyperdimensional reality and are one with everything. Well.. maybe you will get bored with knowing everything and being everything. Sitting around. Waiting. Then you might decide to play a little game. A game where you decide to forget yourself and take on another form. A game to PLAY!

Remember when you were a little kid and everything was new and fun and a game? I do. It is all to easy to forget this stuff. Really start looking at the experiences you have had thus far. I am sure you can find joy somewhere. Please read this quote below which I feel illustrates what I am getting at.

“Have you ever said Yes to a single joy? O my friends, then you have said Yes too to all woe. All things are entangled, ensnared, enamored; if ever you wanted one thing twice, if ever you said, "You please me, happiness! Abide, moment!" then you wanted all back. All anew, all eternally, all entangled, ensnared, enamored--oh then you loved the world. Eternal ones, love it eternally and evermore; and to woe too, you say: go, but return! For all joy wants--eternity.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


So what do you think about all that? Ever think that maybe you decided to be here? All of my experiences have pointed to this for me. If you want change in your life, you have to change the way you think. I am saying this from my own experience. You can completely change your perspective any time you choose. There it is again.. choice.. please choose to hang out and participate. Co-create with us!!!
“Silence is a source of Great Strength.” ~Lao Tzu
 
DreadedShaman
#11 Posted : 6/18/2019 11:53:27 PM

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YouAreWeAmI wrote:
"The dead know one thing, it's better to be alive." ~Full Metal Jacket

It's true. Being dead will suck. Nothing to do. No preference. Let's say that you do end up in some hyperdimensional reality and are one with everything. Well.. maybe you will get bored with knowing everything and being everything. Sitting around. Waiting. Then you might decide to play a little game. A game where you decide to forget yourself and take on another form. A game to PLAY!

Remember when you were a little kid and everything was new and fun and a game? I do. It is all to easy to forget this stuff. Really start looking at the experiences you have had thus far. I am sure you can find joy somewhere. Please read this quote below which I feel illustrates what I am getting at.

“Have you ever said Yes to a single joy? O my friends, then you have said Yes too to all woe. All things are entangled, ensnared, enamored; if ever you wanted one thing twice, if ever you said, "You please me, happiness! Abide, moment!" then you wanted all back. All anew, all eternally, all entangled, ensnared, enamored--oh then you loved the world. Eternal ones, love it eternally and evermore; and to woe too, you say: go, but return! For all joy wants--eternity.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


So what do you think about all that? Ever think that maybe you decided to be here? All of my experiences have pointed to this for me. If you want change in your life, you have to change the way you think. I am saying this from my own experience. You can completely change your perspective any time you choose. There it is again.. choice.. please choose to hang out and participate. Co-create with us!!!




Reminded me of this
https://youtu.be/IEHjMdX-Rro
 
WarpedDimension
#12 Posted : 6/19/2019 12:03:05 AM

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DreadedShaman wrote:
YouAreWeAmI wrote:
"The dead know one thing, it's better to be alive." ~Full Metal Jacket

It's true. Being dead will suck. Nothing to do. No preference. Let's say that you do end up in some hyperdimensional reality and are one with everything. Well.. maybe you will get bored with knowing everything and being everything. Sitting around. Waiting. Then you might decide to play a little game. A game where you decide to forget yourself and take on another form. A game to PLAY!

Remember when you were a little kid and everything was new and fun and a game? I do. It is all to easy to forget this stuff. Really start looking at the experiences you have had thus far. I am sure you can find joy somewhere. Please read this quote below which I feel illustrates what I am getting at.

“Have you ever said Yes to a single joy? O my friends, then you have said Yes too to all woe. All things are entangled, ensnared, enamored; if ever you wanted one thing twice, if ever you said, "You please me, happiness! Abide, moment!" then you wanted all back. All anew, all eternally, all entangled, ensnared, enamored--oh then you loved the world. Eternal ones, love it eternally and evermore; and to woe too, you say: go, but return! For all joy wants--eternity.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche


So what do you think about all that? Ever think that maybe you decided to be here? All of my experiences have pointed to this for me. If you want change in your life, you have to change the way you think. I am saying this from my own experience. You can completely change your perspective any time you choose. There it is again.. choice.. please choose to hang out and participate. Co-create with us!!!




Reminded me of this
https://youtu.be/IEHjMdX-Rro


Very cool movie scene! He nailed it right on the head! Happiness of pursuit!

Thanks for sharing that.. looks like a good flick maybe.
“Silence is a source of Great Strength.” ~Lao Tzu
 
DreadedShaman
#13 Posted : 6/19/2019 12:04:53 AM

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It definitely was, I recommend to all, especially if you like Simon Pegg movies
 
Justintime
#14 Posted : 6/19/2019 3:17:45 AM

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Things are not always as they seem!!! With out the protection of your body the tunnels will get you. Your body is the only things that waits and tethers you back. For what you have seen and opened up and become apart of I promise its only a grain of sand. With out this body you will be stuck and at the mercy of what ever wants to Do With you what it will. I would spend a lot more time with this one!!!
.....Your....head...is..in.your(head0daeh)ruoy.ni..si...deah....ruoY.....
 
DancinDog
#15 Posted : 6/19/2019 4:26:42 AM

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Seems you need to make some friends. You need to find love. Just because you haven't discovered anyone or anything special "yet" doesn't mean you should give up on life.

Challenge yourself. There have to be skills you've always wanted to learn, places you've wanted to see, etc. Ride a motorcycle across the country, or sail a boat to an island. Learn to play a musical instrument, or make pottery, or blow glass. Volunteer somewhere helping people that can't read, or walk, or see.

Maybe you should take a break from the drugs for a while. You're supposed to see the "possibilities", not the "hopelessness".

At the very least, would you tutor us on some Wall Street tricks before you go? Rolling eyes



 
 
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