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Parabola89
#1 Posted : 6/14/2019 5:38:11 PM

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Last visit: 27-Jun-2019
So I smoked DMT again last year for the first time in 5 years, had a great experience, not overly visual but very cleansing. I've taken multiple psychedelics regularly in that 5 years, the most earth-shattering trip was one that happened about 3 years ago now.

A few friends had come over and we decided to take some acid. This was nothing new, we did this a lot, tonight though we decided to take 2 tabs. We'd been working our way through a batch of a few hundred tabs of Amsterdam sunshine acid and we felt it was time to take it up a notch. The problem being that we had run out of the Amsterdam stuff, our friend had got some new stuff. We would normally test the waters first but it was called California sunshine acid, it has sunshine in it, must be the same.. big mistake! Turns out the California shit was a lot stronger. I knew coming up on the 2 tabs that we were all in trouble, one of my friends thought he was dying and we were there to say goodbye to him, another was wondering around staring at walls, the rest of us were sitting there trying to focus on not having a breakdown. As it go closer to the peak, our consciousness seemed to unify, I remember feeling massive, my left arm was over the other side of the room to my right and we were all talking to each other like 'what the hell have we done' and 'how is this happening'. We talked openly about it as it was happening. Everyone else claims they don't remember it now but I've actually had two of them confess to me while tripping that it definitely happened. It's like they're blocking it out now, it's very strange. Anyway, at the peak of the trip I remember existing as a sound wave for what felt like an eternity, in reality it was about 2 hours but it was probably the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me, even weirder I'd say than any of my DMT trips. When I was coming down, I felt like I was a God floating on a cloud, when I moved I was floating not walking. Later in the come down I got stuck in a time loop (happens from time to time on acid) where I was lying down with my girlfriend, I'd close my eyes and every time I'd open them, I was experiencing the same moment over and over again. I felt like I was trapped and I couldn't get out of it but eventually I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next day we all in hell, the house was trashed and we were all pretty messed up. Everything was very hazy but I remembered something I was doing at one point in the night that was really bizarre, I was trying to think myself out of existence. I was actively trying to come up with a thought experiment that could make reality and me disappear for good. Why? I wasn't sure! Since that night I have thought about it a lot and I have come to a strange conclusion.

I already believed that we were all one consciousness, call this God, the Universe, whatever makes you happy. It immerses itself in this experience as us and I used to believe this was for it's entertainment but I've come to think that we serve a much more important purpose to it. It doesn't know why it exists and it doesn't want to exist anymore, it wants to think itself out of existence but so far it hasn't managed to do it alone. By creating multiple beings to experience and learn from, it multiplies the chances of being able to do this greatly. It's a strange thought but I can't shake this feeling that that is our purpose. Our maybe I've just fried my brain Confused Who knows?
 

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MarduksHead
#2 Posted : 6/14/2019 10:24:04 PM

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Last visit: 09-Apr-2020
Sounds like a great thought provoking sci-fi flick. However i think we are here to learn and grow. If we don't I fear we get reborn here over and over until we do.
 
FranLover
#3 Posted : 6/15/2019 12:01:51 AM

Long live the world in peace, prosperity, and freedom from suffering


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Last visit: 07-Apr-2020
Location: I see you Mara
Really cool trip report and experience=) I liked the part where you were sitting there trying to focus on not having a breakdown.

Why would the source of creation spend millions of years of effort on evolution so that a lion, or a thinking monkey could exist, for no purpose?

The circle is the eternal loop: it serves all hevenly purposes, and no purpose at all. Is all things to all people. Emptiness and estatic fullness. They live inside eachother.

That there is a purpose is clearly evident. Everything that we observe works through feedback loops; from road signs to biology to the biosphere and all its most important functions. This non stop activity seems to anticipate the future. It knows, or intuits, that creating organisms that have photosynthesis and so create their own food, will one day lead to a human inventing the theory of relativity. Its all on purpose, and at the same time an accident. All this activity carries in it emptiness. Somewhere else there is vast emptiness so that all this explosion of activity can exist here. The emptiness is space, in the cosmos and inbetween atoms. Vast infinite space. Spacetime and all the properties of the cosmos are ceated so perfectly because there is an intelligence beyond all thought. That intelligence is the purpose.

Thats what dmt has showed me...

How many mics was it?
Todo lo que quiero es que me recuerdes siempre así...amándote. Mantay kuna kayadidididi~~Ayahuasca shamudididi. Silence ○ Shiva ◇ eternal Purusha.
What we have done is establish the rule of authority in silence. Silence is the administrator of the universe. In silence is the script of Natural Law, eternally guiding the destiny of everyone. The Joy of Giving See the job. Do the job. Stay out of the misery.
May this world be established with a sense of well-being and happiness. May all beings in all worlds be blessed with peace, contentment, and freedom.
This mass of stress visible in the here & now has sensuality for its reason, sensuality for its source, sensuality for its cause, the reason being simply sensuality.
 
owerfull
#4 Posted : 6/15/2019 3:20:32 AM

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Location: Poland
I strongly believe in a God, loving spirit, source or the core of all reality. I believe purpose of our existence is that existence itself is better than non-existence. Total non-existence is not an option, it's just bad. Creation is a miracle, I don't think it can be explained with use of our logic, just like the God. Existence/creation is like the biggest act of love and mystery we can ever imagine.
 
 
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