This is deep always remember that it is not real. For the past year i have been unable to use a lot of things because every perceptual alteration to my experience leads me thinking its some sign of heart failure. I am just now getting over this and able to use more things at a useful dose because i am not panicking anymore. It took being brave, a refusal to believing this is it at the age of 22, and baby steps to realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my heart. You will get past it, but you have to let go of the experience from your mind. It is so easy to want to grab hold of that experience so tightly that you are reliving it every day.

Always remember the past isn't real, it isn't happening, staying in your present helps to let go of it. Remind yourself why you are alive, and that its silly to think such things. You are no different than you were from before the experience other than that you are anxious now, or depressed. These things are just two modes of operating out of many, you remember what it felt like to not experience these on a daily basis and you as of right now choose to feel something better because your the only one having to deal with it.

I posted this on 4/11/15 its 4/28/19 now.

That was such an experience. I don't know if I ever 'Bought' it. Like... Believe I dyed there... Because I don't think I did. Looking back, I think the bad experience was my body telling me that there was some kind of contaminant in the DMT.

I think only now... I would be comfortable experiencing DMT again. Its been 4 freaking YEARS or whenever since the post was made... its been a while.


I don't believe I was ever actually 'dis-integrated'... nor do I believe its possible to remove the integration of an idea without exterminating it wholly. Meaning, we cant just put an idea way out in space and expect it not to effect us. It doesn't matter if the idea is 15 galaxies away... It can't get far enough away from you to effect you. A point on its own doesn't exist.


That's what I feel anyways.

There's a lot of 'I's in my writing. I need to work on that.


Anyways. Thank you all for your responses and your help getting me through such a rough experience.

Similar statements here. 'exterminate it' or 'let it go' it doesn't matter how thin the strand is that connects you to an idea. If there's a connection to an idea, then there is a gravity to that idea... a force... a pull...

How do you 'let go of' or 'end an' idea? I didn't consciously learn that lesson. I did learn the importance and truth of impermanence though.