Kanna - I would not have ever believed you to be "schizophrenic." You always have seemed like a mystic that has a beautiful imagination.
When I was in a car accident, there was brain damage and disruption between the synapses of the "left" and "right" halves of the brain. This was difficult to handle, for a while. I would have no idea why some things seemed totally clear - while other times it was total inability to articulate and relate to the world around me.
So they said, "well maybe this is 'that' or 'that' or 'this'?" Nope, nope, and nope.
I cannot be certain, but I wonder if the neurogenesis that can be induced from the consumption of psychedelics helped "bridge" some of the damaged connections.
https://knowingneurons.c...lit-brain-split-person/
https://knowingneurons.c...eft-right-brain-halves/
Bear in mind, these are not "credited" sources. But, maybe they can point you in the right direction to explore this idea?
I'm not schizophrenic - that I am aware of! If so, i guess we don't let ourselves know... jkjkjk
But, I did have schizophrenic symptoms for a while. They never showed me the most recent images of the MRI, but they didn't mention any consideration of schizophrenia and said that my brain was relatively "normal."
But, I did use WAY TOO many psychedelics between the different MRI images. Maybe that caused new growth and bridging? I dunno. I would not recommend trying it unless you're willing to potentially go "crazy."
I still have difficulty being able to find the best way to articulate an idea to others in a conversation. In text, I can filter my thoughts and edit as needed. IRL - you get what ever comes out of my mouth and I am often just as surprised as the person who hears it. Lol! It's nothing wild - just a sense of impulsive speaking without taking the time to make sure the thoughts are bridged and turned to words. It's more like - rapid fire. I'm getting better, though. Allowing a little time to reply and consciously being aware of my thoughts has helped.
I feel like this has improved over the past 5 years. (Or gotten worse!!!! Hahahahaa)
What if - you are a visionary? And the reason you have your experiences as such is due to being tied into the cosmic weirdness?
But, i am no doctor. So, I do not recommend taking my words as truth.
Did you ever suffer any extreme head trauma?
IF it is a *virus type thingy - then maybe I can help?
You'd have to describe the symptoms that are most troubling and give me a few days. It'll take me some time to put my mind-set into your described "symptoms" and then see if there is anything that I can help with. Usually 3 days is needed - for me.
I function in an odd way. If it's something beyond that - then I will do what I can; but no guarantee. I do most of the work in dreams. But, during the day I have to "become" the symptom so that I can "lure" it into my dreams.
Anyways.
I hope you find some relief.
ACY
If you wanna do it yourself, then use the hatchet, the mallet, and the blade. You know the deal.
Sometimes it's good for a change. Other times it isn't.