I'd like to provide some sort of backstory before I even remotely attempt to describe last nights' events. The only psychedelic experience I've ever had was a tab of LSD last year. Felt like I was in a loop, but I was okay. I was in a positive natural environment, stars looked absolutely beautiful. The trees were swirling in beautiful motions. It felt like forever, but I was able to get home and sleep easily after about 4 hours of tripping. That's the only experience I've had with a psychedelic and I couldn't tell you the amount of LSD I took because I'm really not familiar with dosages etc. Was a little tab.



Anyway, the LSD didn't really show me things? It didn't change things infront of my eyes (I was never expecting it too), everything just seemed more beautiful. I was smoking pot on it too so It was just enhanced. Apologise for the LSD rant I know everyones only here for the DMT trip but I'm still trying to come to terms with what had happened.



I've done my research. I've known about this drug for about 4 years, was always interested in its effects, but I really had no clue what the fuck was going on back then. Recently, over the last 6 months I have become so fascinated with DMT. I've read every possible post, watched every documentary, everything explaining what this does and what it can do. I always told myself I will not go looking for the drug, I will allow it to find me if I'm truly meant to have it. Since I told myself that I would just see reminders of DMT everywhere around me. In songs, billboards, everything!



My trusted friend, whom I've known for years, who didn't really know how interested I was in DMT, had messaged me 3 weeks ago telling me he got his hands on some but he didn't want to try it. I took it off his hands and let it sit in my draw for almost a month. Thinking everyday, waiting for the perfect moment. The morning I knew what would be happening tonight so I mentally prepared myself, trying to channel the negative emotions and feelings out. Trying to have a clear mind. Moments leading up to me smoking, my heart was beating RAPIDLY. I took what felt like 100 long deep breaths.



I sandwiched the DMT in a cone (gatorade billy lol). Weed, DMT, Weed. (PS: I'm not too sure how many MG it was so if someone could help me figure that out I'd be grateful. Trying to find a photo of it in my camera roll now. Anyway:



It was a mountain of a cone. I was sitting in the back left seat of the car, driver, passenger, and person next to me were all people I felt comfortable around. I set up a queue on spotify before smoking, of my favourite songs, so when I would be blasting off, the last bit of reality I would clench on too would be music. I was nervous & I stated aloud: "I respect the drug, I respect the experience it may grant me, positive or negative. My intention is to learn more about myself & why I am the way I am." And then I smoked the whole cone. No 3 hits, everything in one. I held it in for 15 seconds.



Each second of the 15 seconds, I became aware. I wish words could truly describe the feeling. I felt my pineal gland open. I felt my third eye open. I was looking around the car in complete awe. Looked outside the window and the fences were recreating themselves and looked perfect. The open-eyed visuals were not as intense. When I closed my eyes, I literally felt a third eye open like genuinely in the space between my eyebrows. I was travelling at lightspeed. Red creatures were forming and changing.. I literally cannot describe it. No earthly words can describe it. I was in a tunnel and I could feel them wanting me to head towards the portal of white light which was so close yet so far. I needed more DMT but that was all that there was. I believe now, that I was in the waiting room. But I kept opening my eyes? I was completely conscious and speaking to my friends about what was happening. But i had an urge to keep my eyes shut and enjoy the ride, but I kept opening my eyes!! In a sense I feel this was my ego clinging onto life.



The very first seconds of a heart attack, the heart strain. I had that feeling throughout the entire trip, post trip, and even now a day later. I could feel my heart beating at rates I don't believe are possible lol.. I asked my friend to please check my heartbeat as I was scared, but he told me it's just a little above normal, which calmed me down. I now thing this was me literally having to die to experience them. I couldn't let go. I didn't know how. But I felt so at peace & so aware of the now. I was everything, and everything was me. There was no specific time, I was time. I didn't see any of the typical egyptian art that many people do see. It was more rushing through actual space itself. Waves of light flashing by me. Perfectly synchronised colours everchanging. I am a believer in God and I know many of you guys might not but this was spiritual for me. At one point during the trip, I uttered the words "Thank you, Jesus". At that moment everything felt so unconditional. All the love. It felt like my consciousness had elevated, soul transcended. They showed me their world, they showed me that I have an infinitely finite understanding. I apologise if this makes no sense because I'm still trying to come to terms with it.



I am certainly aware that I did not breakthrough, but had a taste of what was waiting for me. I feel more aware of everything around me, like it's a second-nature that was given to me last night. All my surroundings, I can listen to music and listen to a conversation that's happening away from me while texting on my phone like I just understand everything that's going on around me.



I feel like this was a positive experience and all the 'training' and 'research' definitely meant absolutely nothing the second I took the hit. It was a very personal experience and I really would like to try it again, but I want to wait and try to figure out what last night's trip meant. I don't know. I'm sorry for rambling on, I'm just a 20 year old trying to figure out what to do in life. Thank you for reading.

welcome to the Nexus. thank you for sharing your experience.

i am glad that the experience was not a bad one, if not particularly meaningful. you got a taste of what is possible. there is much more to learn. you seem bright and you write well so you seem to have a good head on your shoulders...so i will feel comfortable saying what i am about to say...

you must respect this particular molecule. more so than any other, although they all deserve respect. they are not drugs to get you high. they are medicines. they are portals. they are oracles to knowledge, wisdom and experiences to realms yet undiscovered.

please....get a small balance (scale) so you know what you're doing.

please...do not ever do it in a car. with your "buddies". this just makes me shudder.

i trust, with careful mindfulness, you will learn all that this medicine has to offer and you will be grateful for the time and effort you put into planning and respecting your future journeys.

be well and be safe...

I will be having my first DMT trip in a couple of months, cant wait. Thanks for the report.

I truly do appreciate the comment. I will take what you have said and input it into my life. Thank you so much.



No problem, hope all goes well!

Meaning is going to be for you to play with. Maybe it will have meaning today, maybe it will mean something in 10 years. Maybe it will take 20 years before it means something. That all depends on you.

Take care!
ACY

And, I concur with ducdevil - for the most part. Personally, having other people around is a distraction. I cannot stop from "seeing inside" them. It's burdening - too see the weight carried by others. So, when people ask to experience DMT with me; I tend to suggest they work with the molecule by themselves first. If they stil have issues, i'll deal with it, then. But I am not particularly in favor of dealing with other people's "demons."

True story: Casey and I have had a WEIRD relationship. He and I have had some interesting times together. We've had our differences in the past, but we had come to terms and let it go. So, eventually DMT came up and I offered to give him some to try. He in insisted on trying it with me. Things got weird.

So, fast forward a few months. He's in town visiting and we agree to give the ol' shared experience another shot. This time, I waited about 30 seconds before starting to vape. He was 'in' first. I followed shortly after.

What he experienced - a majestic carnival with amusement rides and ferris wheela, etc.

Me? A carnival. But it was filled with these little "dark" things. They were like little parasites. That is the best I can describe. So, I instinctively went into "extermination mode." Each time i'd find one - I'd disassemble it and vaporize it. This went on for a while. I cannot count how many things that were in that "carnival." Yah see, the carnival was a distraction - for him. So he wouldn't see "them." "They" were generating the carnival. As i ripped each one to pieces, parts of the carnival would come tumbling down.

At some point Casey was "done" with the experience and stood up, walked 10 feet away and threw up. I finished my part a few minutes after. As soon as I was done, I got up and threw up, too.

I never told him what I saw. I only listened to him talk about how magnificent the carnival was and how amazing the ferris wheel was. I have not vaped with him since. But, his life took a 180. He's gone from being homeless and jobless to having a home and becoming self employed. He's doing well.

Me? I'm fine.

yeah, sometimes i've had experiences, typically on the milder end, where for some reason very little was happening outwards, but as soon as i'd close my eyes it would be like someone flipping on the switch, behind my eyes, what was happening, it'd all flood into my closed eye visual field, like someone opening the floodgates, almost as if opening my eyes or trying to pay attentionfocus to the outer world somewhat 'held the experience at bay'

but of course the above means nothing when you get a big dose of it

lesson: the real profoundness ofit lies behind the eyes



learn to keep your eyes closed, at all costs, you'll be rewarded



there's really not much trick or way about it imo as far as letting go.

full acceptance of what's happening, full acceptance of losing all contact with everyday-reality, full acceptance of 'oh no i might've done too much', full acceptance of this mini mach death in a plant, full acceptance of being unable to turn back the minutehands of the experience as its happening

die into it

ultimately you have to accept it as it comes about, you really don't have much other choice but to accept it, otherwise sometimes things might not be so gentle with you

trust can be paramount, full unconditional trust in the process



you'll certainly know when you do get enough, you'll know when the BT happens, and if you're still left with doubt after the fact as to whether or not you BT, push harder

though tread carefully



you're right, all the pontification, fancy words, elaborate thoughts on it, when you get enough of it in ya then all the training and research and ideals don't mean shit lol.

go again when you're ready, you have time on your side, all in due time, seems like the experience went well for you for what it was, congrats

thanks for writing