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Psychic Meltdown with Marijuana - Help Options
 
avillax
#1 Posted : 12/16/2018 8:05:39 PM
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OK so I know this is a DMT forum but I need answers:

OK so I'm not a big toker, I'm trying to keep it at once per week and I had tried edibles about 4 times before. I remember the first time was a brownie and I did have crazy paranoia, the other 3 times were cookies and it was fun and couldn't stopped laughing, but nothing compared to what happened this morning with a piece of brownie a friend made:

I basically had a panic attack at the beginning, it was super strong, I called an uber, at times I felt like dancing to the music but when I got home it was so overpowering.

I started thinking only negative stuff, I saw myself in the mirror and saw a 36 year old who wants to be young forever but it is aging and is starting to look like an old man, disgusting, living in his parent's fancy apartment who looks like a caricature to people. Super negative, is this normal? or was I accurate?

Then everything started to melt, reality started to become fragments, I saw everything as a boring repetitive wave pattern, and fractals, as if reality itself was a bad joke but the reality was just boring mathematical repetitive quantum shit.

I couldnt focus anymore, couldnt get a glass of water, couldnt get the light switch, reality would fragment and I could not keep anything coherent.

And in terms of hallucination, this was poweful, I saw everything melting, I saw what a DMT trip would supposed to be if it had a negative connotation, everything had a negative connotation.

I had a near DMT breakthrough 2 weeks ago and I freaked out a bit but nothing compared to this weed brownie, it was as if I did achieve the breakthrough but one with a negative connotation, as seeing everything from a hellish chaotic vision.

I feel like I should not try weed again, but I do recon it had to do with the brownie, I don't think smoking could ever get me this way but I would be very careful.

Is this normal? Was it the reality what I saw? Or is it a bad weed induced reality? Can I safely smoke joints without repeating this nightmare?

From my near breakthrough DMT experience, even though it was scary, I did safely come back and with great inspiration, even became vegetarian.

But after this weed brownie trip I didn't come back with anything positive, I feel like life is a cheap illusion and what is after that is just boring wave patterns and I'm a piece of shit human being imagining a deficient reality.

Help!
 

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DreadedShaman
#2 Posted : 12/16/2018 9:10:38 PM

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Everyone reacts to different this different. You can def get that high from weed, and it can make you think A LOT.

edibles also have a higher bioavailability than smoked, so it's possible that you just ate waaaaay too much weed for you.

That being said. It's okay to have negative thoughts, especially about ourselves, it's what you make of it that counts. You see it as negative? Well you have the power to change it into a positive if you put in the work.

Happy travels. Stay safe brother.
 
FranLover
#3 Posted : 12/17/2018 2:43:53 AM

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Hello avillax Big grin

I feel weed is negative when there are unresolved, negative issues lingering inside. It might be that one actually has this negativity in the unconcious. Respectfully allow me to say that it might be that one actually entertains the judgment that one is 36 and aging fast and so on. In which case the bad trip is only iluminating what one is; the repetitive thoughts and behaviors, the fear, the paranoia, the judgments and so on.

At least for me this is true. When I was 15 and making bad decisions and horny all the time, more often than not weed did not make me laugh but rather showed me my doubts, my insecurities, my irationality, my shalowness, violence, ambition, destructiveness. When sober the ego did a good job of covering this up for me, but weed put it right infront of me (today I see that I did not learn the lesson weed had for me. My ego kept covering it up, rationalizing "Oh, its the drug that is making me feel this way. I have to stop taking this drug."
In retrospect I can see how this beautiful plant has shaped the direction of my life for the better...In happy times her love is the warmest touch there is, 100% of the time, and there is no such thing as a bad trip.
She loves peace and so one must become peace to hang out with her.
And yes! I am awarwe I sound like a stinky hippy Laughing

Much love, keep travelling on Thumbs up

Todo lo que quiero es que me recuerdes siempre así...amándote. Mantay kuna kayadidididi~~Ayahuasca shamudididi. Silence โ—‹ Shiva โ—‡ eternal Purusha.
What we have done is establish the rule of authority in silence. Silence is the administrator of the universe. In silence is the script of Natural Law, eternally guiding the destiny of everyone. The Joy of Giving โ™กSee the job. Do the job. Stay out of the misery.โ™ก
May this world be established with a sense of well-being and happiness. May all beings in all worlds be blessed with peace, contentment, and freedom.
This mass of stress visible in the here & now has sensuality for its reason, sensuality for its source, sensuality for its cause, the reason being simply sensuality.
 
PsyDuckmonkey
#4 Posted : 12/17/2018 1:45:43 PM

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I think FranLover is absolutely right. Smile Thanks Fran, great thoughts. I really love your contributions. Plus, someone who likes clowns are jesters can't be a bad person.

Anyway, Avillax, another thing you might consider is that high THC weed definitely has the potential to create a paranoiac, negative emotional state, and is also associated with psychotic breaks (not "psychic", that's something else lol). So if your cannabis experiences often revolve around negative emotions, sticking to high CBD medical strains of weed might be a good idea for you.
Do you believe in the THIRD SUMMER OF LOVE?
 
avillax
#5 Posted : 12/17/2018 4:33:58 PM
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Hello, I'm going through a breakup, maybe that's why so much negativity, but yes, I'm thinking I did experience the breakthrough, but it was a Cannabis breakthrough with the ego increased instead of ego death.

I don't know if DMT would also do the same but I can easily say it was the worst experience of my life and in order to not have it again I'm - [Please no talk of anything relating to buying/selling of DMT, thanks, Mod Edited]

It is interesting how I wanted to achieve the DMT breakthrough and perhaps thats what made me experience with weed but on a negative side, to also show me the possibilities, so in the end, I think I got the worst trip I could have had, and this was something I was afraid of, in fact, I had been researching and reading about stories from friends who had positive and negative experiences and thats what was keeping me from having the dmt breakthrough,
so in the end, it was as if destiny wanted me to experience this, and I did so through weed, the worst possible outcome on a trip.

Because really, I felt in hyper space, reality lost all coherence, I became a particle traveling in hyperspace, without control, everything was a fractal and I saw myself stuck, everything was spinning, the past, the future, it was incredibly intense, it doesn't matter if it was not DMT: WEED wanted me to experience the negative breaktrhough, and it lasted about 3 hours.

Another interesting thing: this began in my friend's bar, it was the holiday party, I knew I wasnt going to drink much but I did know I was going to smoke and try a brownie. I had tried a brownie from him before and it was just uncontrollable laughter, so I thought it was going to be alright this time, but just to avoid any issues, I came by UBER. All the other times I had driven since my house was 5 minutes away and I was pretty safe, but I just thought I wanted to be comfortable. I also hooked up my keys to my buckle. All of this before the incident.

It was as if my subconscious already knew this was going to happen.
 
xss27
#6 Posted : 12/17/2018 4:41:26 PM

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Why are you concerned about taking a vision to be the truth? You said it yourself, it was a vision, and visions are illusions. There may have been valid impressions in that vision, but your mind may have also filtered or misconstrued those impressions too. And now after the fact your mind may be projecting or rationalising back on to that experience.

Cannabis is a psychedelic substance, it can produce visions. But visions are not reality. Don't take them seriously and you won't get so wound up about it. The important thing to take away from the experience is always know what you are ingesting, then you won't run the risk of bad experiences.
 
avillax
#7 Posted : 12/17/2018 5:06:41 PM
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To be honest, I no longer think you can control a negative experience. I think this was bound to happen, I had been researching before how to not get one, and in the end, I did unexpectedly, with a weed brownie.

I think I DID BREAKTHROUGH, but I did with an overly active ego, which made hell from the experience. Maybe I'm ready now for further DMT breakthroughs, I don't think I could hit more negativity than what I did with the weed brownie, and yes, it was super psychedelic, I know, because it had parts similar to my near breakthrough experience with DMT.
 
Loveall
#8 Posted : 12/17/2018 5:15:36 PM

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I agree with the good advice you got above, it is good to accept and work on the personal issues that were highlighted during the trip. There is a lot of advice on how to do that in the forum (excersie, meditation, eating healthy, spending time in nature, getting enough sleep, implement other small sustainable improvements that slowly build up, accepting that we all age and die, acepting our flaws, allowing yourslef to be vulnerable and loved, etc).

Regarding the dissolution of reality into a cold and overwhelming mathematical space, some of us have been there too. It can be a cruel void of loveless mathematical rigidness. I can say that hyperspace has more to offer, such as love and beauty. While we do have math inside us, we also have art and poetry and love.

Do you have a scientific background? Rigorous scientific training can disturb the balance/mix of things and casue trauma by stripping us of our humanity I believe. Perhaps a rigid education in economic theory or a any fundamentalist model of reality (such a strict religion or political ideology) can also cause this, but I have no direct personal experience there.

You can listen or read phylosophy and humanism if not doing so already. People like Alan Watts or Terrence McKenna. They can help put these things in perspective. Over time as you integrate this experience you may feel ready to go back to hyperspace and try again. I would hold on to that DMT if I were you.

Cheers and good luck. Know that you are loved.
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avillax
#9 Posted : 12/30/2018 7:44:43 PM
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Thanks, I am a meditation teacher with Buddhist background and I have experienced real Samadis before, but was going through a breakup which probably triggered many negative things. The only positive thing is that I don't think I could ever have a more negative experience, plus it lasted for 2.5 hours under that intensity, while DMT would last 10 mins max?

By the way, a friend who is from the same spiritual school just popped out of nowhere and we're planning to go to a virgin beach here in Mexico and try again. Like I said, I don't think it could possibly get any worse, so I have nothing to lose, and he has plenty of experience as well.
 
PsyDuckmonkey
#10 Posted : 12/30/2018 9:27:36 PM

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avillax wrote:
The only positive thing is that I don't think I could ever have a more negative experience

Whoa, you jinxed it.

avillax wrote:
plus it lasted for 2.5 hours under that intensity, while DMT would last 10 mins max?

I had a very strange experience on changa that I still haven't entirely categorized. People have mentioned different theories as to what might have happened, but I smoalked some changa at a festival I bummed off a friend while totally fried, and got a 3 hour peak with insane body load, and afterwards 5-7 days of derealization/depersonalization. It wasn't a particularly 'bad' experience though, my body just felt like shit and I kinda blew a serotonine fuse or something. Anyway, my point is that this sort of thing does happen.
Do you believe in the THIRD SUMMER OF LOVE?
 
HulGil
#11 Posted : 12/31/2018 1:39:37 PM

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Like other users have said, the marijuana seems to have stripped away your ego and that left you frightened. I also believe it's important to focus on integration after the psychedelic experience (weed is a psychedelic), because the visions are not necessarily true and it is up to you to determine what is true and what is not in regards to your own life and wellbeing. However, one thing I will say, is that for some people marijuana can honestly just be a purely negative experience. I'm one of those people. I rarely have a good time. I always get stuck in negative thoughts, even though I am not an insecure or negative person. I believe it's an inherent flaw in the substance that some people experience and some people don't. Consider taking a break from marijuana. It can trigger psychosis and other mental health issues.
 
DmnStr8
#12 Posted : 12/31/2018 2:08:26 PM

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Moderation. Don't smoke so much weed. Take a toke or two and be cool with a light buzz. If it's really good weed all you need is a toke. Might want to steer clear of eating weed from the sounds of it, it can really sneak up on ya.

Chalk it up to a bad day.
"In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link." ~Carlos Castaneda
 
Asher7
#13 Posted : 12/31/2018 4:40:19 PM

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If I was being 100% honest Iโ€™d have to admit those times when the plants turn the spotlight on me and without mercy ripped into me with a current progress report, 95% of the time itโ€™s making a point, or touching on some valid point. Rarely does absurdity affect my emotions because itโ€™s absurd it holds no weight, the ones that do hold weight are not absured. So I have to listen carefully and not reflex a mental wall up out of defense.

Even if something isnโ€™t an issue in that sense, if something is disorganized it can keep you from fully relaxing and getting to the point where everything is ok so regardless, if it bothers you attempt to fix it or adjust it.

Iโ€™ve not dabbled with edibles much but I know the feeling of after a long break, that first stoning I have to be by myself, thereโ€™s no chance of simple chit chat. Coincidentally I found out that icaros on youtube with a pair of ear buds works amazingly at getting you back to the ok headspace where youโ€™re geared up and positive to go to work.
 
PsyDuckmonkey
#14 Posted : 12/31/2018 5:15:59 PM

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HulGil wrote:
I believe it's an inherent flaw in the substance that some people experience and some people don't.

It totally is an inherent flaw in most modern cultivated marijuana strains. It absolutely is! Too much THC for unit CBD. People who can't stand weed anymore, but miss it, should really try high CBD strains. It's almost a different drug.
Do you believe in the THIRD SUMMER OF LOVE?
 
xss27
#15 Posted : 12/31/2018 6:26:13 PM

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HulGil wrote:
However, one thing I will say, is that for some people marijuana can honestly just be a purely negative experience. I'm one of those people. I rarely have a good time. I always get stuck in negative thoughts, even though I am not an insecure or negative person


I had some great thoughts and mental wonderings with cannabis but it always felt like there was an emotional pressure being exerted that amplified underlying emotional knots. This was helpful in the beginning to give food for contemplation, but it became a hindrance - herb is not going to fix my deficits in emotional growth. In fact all it did was amplify the awareness of those deficits and how ones environment really does shape you.

Put me in a country field on a fine summers day with no fear of being disturbed and I'll smoke again.
 
Tony6Strings
#16 Posted : 12/31/2018 8:45:19 PM

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I've noticed some things about "bad trips" related to/caused by cannabis. Tolerance plays a huge role. A daily smoker is less likely to have an uncomfortable experience than someone who smokes infrequently. Also, strain. People who experience panic attack like symptoms after a toke, may be quite surprised how differently they are effected by a solid indica strain IE Afghani, Blueberry, Northern Lights, Vanilla Kush, just to name a few personal favorites. I used to be the guy who would not toke because of the anxiety crapshoot. Not unless I had a benzo handy. Now that I have learned a little more about this plant and how it effects me, cannabis oil has become one of my daily drivers.
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"Good and evil lay side by side as electric love penetrates the sky..." -Hendrix

"We have arrived at truth, and now we find truth is a mystery- a play of joy, creation, and energy. This is source. This is the mystic touchstone that heals and renews. This is the beginning again. This is entheogenic." -Nicholas Sand
 
 
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