Hi,
I'm new here and also very new to DMT. I have been lurking these forums on and off for a while and after my first few DMT experiences I've decided to register and contribute something, maybe nothing ever again, but something to this forum and discussion. It is in part a way to reconcile with my 1st DMT trip which I will describe below. I have few people in my life I can talk to about this kind of thing so being able to voice myself here is quite liberating. Thank you.
I first heard about DMT many years ago, I can't remember how the idea of DMT was first dropped into my consciousness but it soon led me down a long path of researching the substance. It did not take long for me to become extremely intrigued, especially as I have a history of mushroom use at high doses which has been described to be similar to the DMT experience. I guess in some ways this is true... but after doing DMT I can say confidently that the mushrooms don't even come close.
Life has been very good in recent years and after many years of debt I finally clawed my way out last year. This has led to a surplus of income that has allowed me to explore a lot of different activities and hobbies including the entheogenic experience. After enjoying a nice batch of mushrooms recently I suddenly became consumed with the idea of DMT again. I have tried in the past to find this elusive substance but always proved to be fruitless.
I have read about extraction teks for DMT and mushrooms and at first glance they seemed simple but out of my comfort zone. After reading about them more I slowly became comfortable and excited about the idea of extracting DMT myself. I even figured that extracting DMT would be easier and faster then growing mushrooms, which has proved to be true! I decided on using Nature Boy's tek and found the major necessary components at a soap making store and my local hardware shop. Over the course of the next 3 days I followed the tek to a T and after solving a slight hiccup, reddish naphtha, I had my first batch of spice. It came out almost perfectly white, jagged, fluffy and with hints of yellow. I was impressed!
I decided it was time to test the goods later that day. My research led me to think that an appropriate first time dose of ~30mg would be a good start. Unfortunately, without a 0.000 scale I had to settle for a reading of 0.03mg on the scale that I did have. In hindsight I think was inaccurate and probably very close to 40mg or even more due to the lack of sensitivity on the scale. After my first experience and further tests with smaller doses, my conclusion is my spice batch is very strong.. or perhaps I'm sensitive to it. Even smoking mj from the pipe days later, with small amounts of DMT residue was enough to start setting me off. But only time will tell as I have since ordered a 0.000 scale to dose accurately.
I decided my garage would be a good place to test my first batch. I turned the lights off, it was completely dark with the exception of the door to the house being open, allowing for natural light to pour in and illuminate the stairs below it. I placed a yoga mat on the ground which my initial plan was to retreat to after I smoked. I placed a patio chair close by, took a seat and sat totally upright, pipe and lighter to mouth. The pipe I was using was just a regular old pipe I bought at the headshop for $5. It had a screen and enough MJ ash that the spice sat comfortably inside. I was extremely psyched up and did several rounds of deep breaths before igniting the flame in front of me. The pipe was loaded, the flame was lit and I was ready to take the plunge. I held the flame close enough to vaporize the powder and took a huge toke. My soccer lungs allowed me to pull in a huge amount of smoke and best of all... it was very smooth. Definitely not as harsh as people were describing. Perhaps my history of MJ and hashish use was useful here as well.
I held the smoke in, pipe and lighter remaining at my mouth. Holding, holding... I had about 2 seconds to think one thing... "I think it's starting to kick in now...." and it did. I didn't have a chance to close my eyes, I didn't have a chance to exhale, I didn't even have a chance to put the pipe down. Nothing would prepare me for what happened next.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
The air, my visual field and the sense of my entire body was sucked out in front of me in milliseconds. An omnipresent reverberating sound overcame me, whoooooomp, whooompp, whooooomp, and intensified and suddenly I was absolutely SLAMMED through hyperspace at warp speed. My conscious awareness was absolutely overflowed to max capacity with colors, geometry, mechanical robotic alien like sounds bleep blop bloop whoomp whoomp, that 3 days later I can still hear... it's almost haunting. No sense of my self, just complete dissolution and being rocketed through whatever this space was. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything, I was just completely overtaken by the experience.
Who knows how long I held the smoke in for, I can hold my breath for a long time and I didn't have time to exhale before it came on but at some point I got a glimpse of myself exhaling the smoke in front of me into what seemed like eternity. It was so incredibly overwhelming I think my brain went into some sort of protection mode and I turtled up inside of myself. I was so far into the space, I was in the presence of what people describe of entities, I was bursting through the unfathomable and indescribable but it was all too fast, all too hard, all too intense that I blocked it out and tried to find something, anything to hold onto. I don't remember anything concrete from this part, just bits and pieces and the sense of being blown apart. I was able to think at some point, my first thoughts were, "holy shit, too much, too strong, too intense". I definitely knew I had taken too much. I sky dived once and something that I've held onto from that experience was the notion to breath through your nose and control your breath. And so I did. I focused on my breath and found the safety net I was looking for. I was surrounded by entities, I have no idea if there was some sort of intelligence there because I was concerned with my well being and getting through this.
The ride started letting up and my visual field started to resemble my garage again, albeit it was completely combined with the DMT lense. The walls and garage floor and everything around it now layered with the chrysanthemum shape and to the right of my field of vision remained a dark black hole with a large black entity from the abyss motioning me into the black hole. Black tendrils and tentacles surrounded its figure and pulsated in a "pulling fashion" like it was urging and trying to pull me back into the black hole, back into the DMT universe. I was able to stay grounded, I stared at the floor and refused to stop focusing on my breath I said aloud, "thank you, you have all been so kind, you've all been very nice, thank you for showing me, but I must go now, you have to leave, you have to go, it's not my time, I need to come down, thank you, you must go now." And so it did... and eventually faded away. It took several moments for reality to settle. The feeling in my body returning but I was completely weakened. My body and muscles felt like mush... thankfully my dog had come into the garage during the trip and sat close by. I was able to acknowledge his presence now and it brought a sense of comfort. I collapsed onto the yoga mat in front of me. All I could smell and taste was the metallic, signature, burnt plastic, leather shoe DMT smell around me. I thought it was disgusting. I began to think that I was never going to do this stuff again and a wave of guilt washed over me but thankfully passed quickly. Reality was now at equilibrium again and I found my feet and like a baby just learning to crawl, to stand, and to walk I got up and started into the house. A big grin overcame my face. "Holy sh*#... holy sh*#... holy sh*#... Holy sh*#" was all I could say... I had little time to fully reflect as I had to meet my parents at the driving range in about 20 minutes. I got in the car and reality just did not quite seem the same for the rest of the day. That was my first experience with the spice.
The next day I got the courage to do it again... but I chickened out at the last second as the smell began to conjure my previous experience in my head. Do I really want to go through that again right now? I more then halved the dose and suddenly felt comfortable about doing it again. This turned out to be the right move. I went into my bedroom and sat upright on the edge of my bed with the intention of collapsing backwards onto the pillows behind me as soon as I inhaled. This was far more effective then my previous arrangement! I inhaled, the room began to change, I closed my eyes and fell back... I had enough time to get comfortable. Fortunately it came on a lot slower this time. What people describe as 'seeing the light' when they die, going towards the tunnel, this would describe the initial visuals this time as my consciousness went towards the light. It stopped short though, thankfully, and alienlike geometry pulsated on top of my eyelids, I relaxed, my body warmed up completely as I still had sense of myself, I knew I was safe and I could handle this dose. I watched it pulsate and change, like looking through a window into the abyss this time, instead of being so far emerged in it that it was my reality. A feeling of love overwhelmed me, I smiled and watched it fade and reality to stabilize again. I loaded the pipe with a little more, lighted and inhaled again, sat back, this time completely comfortable. It came and went with much less intensity. I felt good. I packed up the rest of my spice and put my pipe away. Until next time, when I am ready to face the DMT world again.
DMT is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. I understand why it is so hard to find now. It is truly bizarre, unlike anything I could have ever imagined. No amount of reading, videos watched, interviews, documentaries, whatever could have prepared me for the DMT experience. Will I go back? Absolutely. Have I taken anything back from the DMT trip? I was only truly afraid of death once in my lifetime, as a child. Later in my adult life, I had the feeling that if I were to die today it would be OK because I committed to myself to living to the fullest. After the DMT experience, it has left me with the following conclusion. Either this is a synaptic chemical overflow neural hijacking or this is an entirely different realm altogether that lies just beyond the veil. And if the latter is the case then there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of in death and in life.
I have extreme respect (and caution) for this substance now and feel as though I have now become a steward, able to help steer the ship for whomever's path I cross who is interested in this stuff. I'll finish my extraction and perhaps further wash my spice. When the time is right I'll go back, deep into hyperspace, but hopefully this time without too much fear or hesitation.
Thanks for listening/reading!
Have a great day,
sm0kedog