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5 Meo-DMT - the destination eclipses the journey. Options
 
corpus callosum
#1 Posted : 7/14/2018 9:23:05 PM

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Very recently, I travelled across borders to a place where it was entirely possible to experience 5 Meo NN DMT in the form of vaporised Bufo Alvarius venom, and seeking this experience was the primary reason for making this 'pilgrimage". Other seekers from various nations had assembled there, some with more experience than others, but all with that questioning nature and willingness to explore the perimeters of their inner space. The bufo venom was one of five modalities which were available to achieve this, and in some ways, a merry blithe attitude to the merits and implications of each of these methods stemming from what we members of DMT-Nexus may regard as a superficial interest allowed some of the neophytes to approach the experiences with an ostensible degree of stoic confidence which certainly caused me, when observing them, to get a dry mouth and a fluttering of the heart.

The facilitators were relaxed, unhurried and clearly well-versed in both provision of the experiences and as venturers in these realms. They had a ritualised approach to the bufo which involved an initial investigation into ones intention for working with the medicine and ones prevailing mind-set, a few deep breathing exercises and then the administration proceeded if the venturer accepted the offer. The recipient was stood up, one facilitator stood before them with the pipe in hand and vaporised the load with the pipe stem at the recipients mouth whilst behind them stood another facilitator who would support them by grasping them from under the arms and one hand was placed on the shoulder and the other over the mouth if required. As the effect took hold the pipe-bearing facilitator would set the pipe down, crouch and gently grasp the ankles whilst the other facilitator would support the disembodied body and between them they would gracefully lay the traveller down upon the ground. Some ritualised chanting took place along with the fanning of incense fumes and the use of Tibetan bowls and maracas about the vessel which was the travellers body.

I observed several participants undergo the same process, and it crossed my mind that this ritualistic approach was foreign to my way of using vaporised tryptamines, and , along with the chirping of the birds at this outside location, I wondered if these would have a distracting effect upon my experience. Having also heard and read about 5 Meo DMT being more powerful than DMT, the process of witnessing others having the experience afforded the whole occasion a clear sense of immediacy and on some level I too wished for a laissez faire attitude which comes from an absence of vaporised tryptamine experience.

And so, the moment arrived when I was stood up, asked if I was ready to accept the medicine, and with a simple nod and the partial stillness of mind from the breathing exercises, the flame was applied to the glass crack-style pipe. From a point of maximal exhalation, I slowly drew upon the pipe, the smoke being very mildly harsh and no barrier to a substantial controlled inhalation. The wisdom of the upright posture is clear to me; sitting or lying down makes it more likely that the postural restriction to the fullest inhalation may be subconsciously grasped to stave off the potential annihilation that confronts the ego, a sabotage device it will readily grasp.

Within a matter of seconds, the onset was felt with an insistence and rapidity which exceeds that provided by DMT (alone); the visual effects resembled the very initial stages of the DMT onslaught where the red mist behind the eyes begins to organise but instead of becoming progressively more elaborate the experiential field opened up into a sunset-like vista with lines of light as seen through the diffusing function of a prism, and less dense visuals which resembled the outlines of a simple rotating fractal pattern. Compared to DMT breakthrough visuals these were less elaborate but were still not insignificant.

The visuals required some element of presence of mind to interpret but this had been erased fully, producing an utterly transcendent state of full dissolution resulting in a non-dual state which on reflection seems fully akin to the state sought and lauded by the mystics and sages throughout time immemorial. I believe Shulgins 4+ rating encapsulated this comprehensively, and my previous experiences which I labelled thus would probably fit better into a putative "3.5+" category.

I emerged from this state rapidly some 15 or so minutes later, sat up and was overcome with a euphoric feeling of immense gratitude and imbued with an indisputable understanding of how the construction of ones ego, whilst a required navigation-system for consensus reality, operates by creating an illusion of separation between its holder and what he/she beholds. It puts meat onto the bone of the notion that "I am you, and you are me" in a way that convinces.

Now, some 9 days later, I still feel that it has left an enduring imprint upon me and I recognise the privilege of having undergone this experience which I consider to be the pinnacle of the psychedelic experience. Unlike many previous psychedelic experiences which leave one with more questions, this has actually rendered many such musings null and void. I cannot imagine how the trip could have been better or how the message could have been more complete and this leaves me with no desire or need to repeat the experience. I "hang up the phone" with no regrets.

I think other agents may be able to deliver the 4+ experience on occasion but I am convinced that 5 Meo will deliver this much more consistently if ones ego can accept its destruction and return its holder to the eternal source where such sublimity lies.


I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous lechers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself with one hand while the other hand tries to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. It destroys me.

 

with a seemingly autonomous entity after taking DMT?
 
bodhi
#2 Posted : 7/14/2018 10:40:18 PM

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Beautifully written.
 
Rising Spirit
#3 Posted : 7/17/2018 10:13:24 PM

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Beautifully written experience report! I am even more eager and honestly, a wee bit terrified, to melt into the ineffible, self-absorbing vortexial fulcrum created by contact with this most sacred of molecules. Thank you for your eloquence and clarity of expression.

I will follow your lead, in a few days. I have spent a fair bit of time in spiritual preparation for this self-shattering interphase.

I will share my experience, once I return to "normal" reality and am able to communicate within the narrow confines of human linguistics (provided I actually live to tell the tale) .
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.
 
thymamai
#4 Posted : 7/18/2018 12:13:50 AM

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^ Look forward to your return RS.

Quote:
The wisdom of the upright posture is clear to me; sitting or lying down makes it more likely that the postural restriction to the fullest inhalation may be subconsciously grasped to stave off the potential annihilation that confronts the ego, a sabotage device it will readily grasp.


I liked this... it's an interesting observation.

I like how coldly and succinctly you summarize everything in 20/20.. your writing cuts straight to the point. "hang up the phone" sent a little chill down my neck. A different kind of laughter.

Salut
There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.
 
tatt
#5 Posted : 7/18/2018 12:29:04 AM

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Excellent report!

This:

C.C wrote:
the visual effects resembled the very initial stages of the DMT onslaught where the red mist behind the eyes begins to organise but instead of becoming progressively more elaborate the experiential field opened up into a sunset-like vista with lines of light as seen through the diffusing function of a prism, and less dense visuals which resembled the outlines of a simple rotating fractal pattern. Compared to DMT breakthrough visuals these were less elaborate but were still not insignificant.


C.C wrote:
I emerged from this state rapidly some 15 or so minutes later, sat up and was overcome with a euphoric feeling of immense gratitude and imbued with an indisputable understanding of how the construction of ones ego, whilst a required navigation-system for consensus reality, operates by creating an illusion of separation between its holder and what he/she beholds. It puts meat onto the bone of the notion that "I am you, and you are me" in a way that convinces.


Damn good descriptions, and even though I haven't done MeO yet, I most definitely can vibe with everything you said, especially the former. Sometimes it's a few simple words strung together in a way that can illicit vivid memories (like some of what you said up top there).

Great report, and a pleasure to see you back here, especially writing a report. Hats off dude Smile

 
Loveall
#6 Posted : 7/18/2018 12:59:21 AM

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Meaning of life illuminated by crusty dry toad venom + crack pipe.

Cosmic giggle activated Laughing
“... (a) psychedelic substance occasionally causes psychotic behaviour in people who have not taken it.”
Excerpt from a McKenna talk transcript / audio.
 
ducdevil
#7 Posted : 7/18/2018 2:38:25 AM

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thanks for such a beautiful and thoughtfully written account of your journey. to those of us who are "on deck", not yet having experienced it but planning to, this was fantastic. frankly, even better than the "Hamilton's Pharmacopia" episode on the toad medicine.

ironically, i have been sitting on some dried toad venom for a while. at first i was really determined to do it, having much experience with spice. yet, after watching some accounts and talking with various people, i realize it is an entirely different experience and commitment, and for me at least, not something i want to do alone the first time. i blast off with spice alone exclusively, but this is clearly different.

one of the people i talked to who is a very calm, reserved person, told me that during her 5-MEO experience she thrashed around like she was having convulsions, shouting at the top of her lungs yet had no memory whatsoever of her actions afterwards. she was told and also saw some video of herself during her trip; she was astonished.

at least for now, any aspirations of voyaging alone are quashed for the time being. someday, i will venture with the appropriate sitters. yet, your report ignites my inspiration to explore, when the time is right.

blessings
 
corpus callosum
#8 Posted : 7/18/2018 5:45:58 AM

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I am glad that the report albeit composed of that inadequate tool called language has evoked a positive emotional response in the readers. Smile

Mind-set and setting is paramount when approaching 5 Meo DMT, perhaps more so than with other agents. I'm sure many here are familiar with the metaphor/aphorism that LSD opens the doors of perception with the apt yet glib extension with reference to DMT as blowing this door off its hinges. I would venture to say that 5 Meo DMT is akin to a seismic earthquake which renders the walls into which this door is built into a heap of rubble which renders any separation between inside and outside an archaeological foot-note from (the users) history.

Honest and full evaluation of ones prevailing mind-set which consists of both emotional and temporal aspects (the latter relating to ones current situation in life) is required to facilitate the process of accepting the onset without the ego double-guessing itself and rendering the experience into a hellish nightmare. The set certainly on the first try should be done with experienced facilitators and I was honoured and blessed to approach the journey with 2 very adept people.

Speaking for myself, numerous solo DMT breakthroughs were handy training, along with multiple solo NMDA receptor antagonist experiences which subjectively had some similarities in terms of being accepting and somewhat comfortable in entering the eternal sea of consciousness. I would also say that my one vaporhuasca experience (moclobemide 300mg orally followed an hour later by 30mg DMT via the GVG in a single inhalation) was more aggressive and jarring than the 5 Meo experience the report describes, because that trip built and built with a greater degree of aggression with no prospect of finally dissolving into the non-dual state.Plus it lasted so much longer...… Twisted Evil

The abiding paradox of the 5 Meo relates to how through becoming nothing, one gains everything. Imagine if you will a sand-timer which has just been inverted- the total volume of sand dribbles towards the narrowing inexorably under the effect of gravity and then expands into the mirrored bell of the lower chamber. Reduction through the zero point has to be crossed before the expansion can happen.
I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous lechers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself with one hand while the other hand tries to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. It destroys me.

 
Loveall
#9 Posted : 7/18/2018 4:01:23 PM

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corpus callosum wrote:
...Reduction through the zero point has to be crossed before the expansion can happen.


Another nice example of this is light. If a boring collimated beam of light is sent through a small circular aperture, it expands and its colors separate, revealing beautiful patterns. The smaller the opening the more dramatic the expansion. We call this diffraction, and when using a double slit with electrons the fundamental dual nature of matter as both wave and particle is revealed to our human monkey brains.



Loveall attached the following image(s):
Four_waves_slit_diffraction_dirichlet_bw.gif (3,614kb) downloaded 154 time(s).
“... (a) psychedelic substance occasionally causes psychotic behaviour in people who have not taken it.”
Excerpt from a McKenna talk transcript / audio.
 
JefFlux
#10 Posted : 7/31/2018 6:40:32 AM

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Thank you for that profound yet pragmatic articulation (and would you consider sharing this at 5meodmt.org if you haven't already ?

Interesting observation about taking the medicine standing up, and I have only done this once with 5-MeO/Toad and I believe it has the effect of allowing the mind to surrender more effectively as it is attached to a physical body, which can only hold that position for so long before falling back (supported by caring facilitators optimally ) and so this letting go of the physical facilitates a letting go of the 'self' and one can dissolve into the infinite.

For me, I find the visuals with Toad Venom notable different from n-n-dmt in that they appear as an all encompassing wall of tessellated geometry, but have an opacity and pastel hue. Synthetic 5-MeO however is always mono-chromatic and appears like quicksilver as though viewed from under water. with some fractalling ripples around the edges,

cheers,

Flux
 
Bancopuma
#11 Posted : 8/3/2018 9:37:46 PM

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What a beautifully written account, thanks a lot for sharing. The potential benefit to standing up while vaping the substance had never occurred to me before reading this account. Bufo/5-MeO-DMT is something very special in my view, over a year after my second breakthrough experience, I still view it as the most profound and amazing event of all my life, and a peak or pinnacle life experience. Before encountering 5-MeO I was never a fan of the label "entheogen", I thought it had too much baggage attached to it but based on my own experience with the compound it is truly worthy of such a label, IMO.
 
Rising Spirit
#12 Posted : 8/4/2018 2:49:20 PM

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It has been just shy of 48 hours since my inaugural voyage into the self-shattering force which 5-MeO draws one's conscious-awareness ever so deeply into. So deeply, that the inside and the outside lose all meaning. Being naturally verbose, I am somewhat at a loss as just how to jump right in and weave a trip report.

This is not because I lost consciousness during the peak and whiteout, to the contrary, it is because so much of the interphase exists within the realm of the Absolute... and there is no adequate system of human linguistics equipped to traverse the seamless union of the observer and that which is observed within such a vortexial fulcrum (for they are the same in their purest nature).

Suffice it to say, the immense power and immediacy with which this molecule strips the traveler of their conditioned notions of self and other, individual and totality... is beyond anything this pilgrim has ever encountered. It was in many ways, the experience was the culmination of a lifetime of searching and aspiring, exploring and incremental assimilation.

I will be penning a detailed description in a few days or so. For now I am still basking in the afterglow of the eclipsing, the remembrance of being reborn within the limitlessness of the undifferentiated field. Thank you all for the encouragement and the inspiration.

There is no self to which I cling, for I am one with everything.
 
gibran2
#13 Posted : 8/4/2018 4:23:22 PM

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These are beautiful and wonderful accounts.

I hope that one day 5-MeO-DMT will cross my path, but until then I must rely on the poetry and prose of generous others to gain a sense of its ineffable majesty.

One recurring question that comes up whenever I read these reports, and indeed a question that comes up often in my own exploration, is this:

How do these experiences change us?



So to those of you who have had a profound 5-MeO-DMT experience, how has the experience changed you?
gibran2 is a fictional character. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental.
 
burnt
#14 Posted : 8/14/2018 7:00:49 AM
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Excellent report thanks for sharing. 5-meo-dmt to is one of the most profound experiences you can have. I never used in toad venom and wonder if toad venom is different then synthetic 5-meo-dmt because of all the other compounds in it? I don't find 5-meo-dmt to be very visual although there is a visual quality to it. Like this layer covering reality with some alterations in color.

I always described 5-meo-dmt as the death drug although I don't mean that in a negative way. It really makes you feel like you are about to die. When you are capable of thinking again and you realize your not going to die and that feeling of your consciousness being 'dead' was beautiful you get filled with this intense euphoria and deep gratefulness about being alive. The come up is terrifying. The peak usually I can't think at all its just this state of complete ego destruction (at higher doses) and then the come down it like beautiful deep moving acceptance.

The only thing I would advise against doing is snorting 5-meo-dmt. I know some people who did this and they all said really don't do that. One time I observed someone do this they got up went into the bathroom and made a lot of really strange vomit / dry heaving sounds. Came out about 30 min later and was like yea don't do that.

 
 
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