Hello. I want to talk about my latest experience with Pharmahuasca. It’s something I have been testing extensively the last 4 weeks, almost every day in various dosages and it is by far the most therapeutic “thing” I have encountered. I have tried numerous psychedelics and drugs of all kinds (except SSRIS) generally to work out with my issues as part of a therapeutic approach among other crucial things like lifestyle changes. It feels the most natural approach for working out things to the core of my being.

Ok, the experience. Yesterday I took 120 mg DMT (from Mimosa) with 4 grams of Syrian Rue (I boiled the Syrian Rue 3x and concentrated in a liquid where ~1ml=1gr). I waited for about an hour to feel something but I did not. I then proceeded to take another 50 mg DMT with 1 ml (1 gram) of Syrian Rue extra.

Not another 10 minutes had passed and I felt it coming. My thought patterns started becoming irregular, and various “waving” patterns started appearing where I was looking with my eyes open. Acknowledging the fact that It begins, I turned off the lights and sat quietly in the dark. I laid totally down on the floor and while other times I was seeing various images in my mind with my eyes closed, one coming after the other, feeling my heart beating fast, this time I had no images. And I felt totally calm.

Immediately I started working out a situation (the most toxic erotic relationship I ever had) that had been troubling me for years, that had affected my subconscious in nasty ways about love and friendship. I forgave her, I forgave the “friend” that had been fucking her pretending to be my friend at the same time. I really did, deep from my heart, unconditionally. I said to myself “From now on this “situation” does not have any effect on my mind, I move on with my life without looking back, this is FINISHED”. Well, something like that, I don’t remember completely the exact words but I remember the FEELING. Immediately after that I started feeling reborn. I felt as if my psychological situation really begins from zero, that nothing is recorded, blank state to fill it with every beautiful realization I want.

And then something else happened. I started thinking about the latest slaughter of Palestinians in Gaza, started thinking about genocides, started wondering where my humanity really lies. I wondered why my tiny egoistic problems stemming from bad relationship among other things kept me away from compassion, of feeling the pain of those people, of revolting intellectually against something like that, really revolting, not just acknowledging that such acts are monstrous.

I started writing how I feel about this. Started putting my feelings to words. For the first time in my life I was writing something with true, deep emotions. I was writing for about 45 minutes and when I got done, I was searching for a pic considering the slaughter of Palestinians. I found the pic I attached in this post. Just by looking at the picture I started crying uncontrollably, crying deeply. It totally moved me, while I was crying like I had not cried in years. After I stopped crying, I felt a kind of salvation.

I proceeded to upload the whole thing I was writing with the picture in my Facebook page. After a while, a girl sent me a message, commenting on what I had written. For the next 2 hours I had a very deep communication with this person. Very deep with subtle erotical undertones. It felt like a found an erotic soulmate. I have arranged to see her in 2 days from now.

Almost all the time of the “trip” I felt enormous amounts of mental clarity. Like the movie Limitless, having taken the wonder drug NZT-48. Only this felt totally natural, being totally in the flow of thoughts and things. If I had one word for the whole experience it would be “Divine”. Like it shows me in front of my eyes what I am truly capable of doing, of feeling without limitation. For a long time my heart has been cold, I felt this changing since yesterday. I really felt reborn.
I really feel blessed for integrating something so therapeutic as this in my life. Almost every time I take the medicine, I think of how I could help as many people as possible to feel being cured, like I am.

Thank you for reading this.

Aya (Pharma) is the most clear I can be on a journey into hyperspace. It's utterly amazing.
It's profound with letting things go. I call that clarity "my greater self". It asks me the tougher questions. The most recent "What enjoyment have you gotten from any of this?". Which led me in a circle of "for science", "answering my curiosity" then led me to understand the question. That I hadn't been enjoying myself. That it was a quest or job, and I needed to lay it down if I wasn't able to look at it for what it was.

Needless to say, I agree.. seems like this state allows you to clean house in so many ways. You listen too, because well "your greater self is you", the one who knows the actual answers and isn't afraid like the real you to face them. I have found this state doesn't "tap into unknowns".

To me it's like an ex-spouse. You don't visit often and when you do there is a huge laundry list of things you need to take care of before you see them again. Nagging things that you really do need to do.

<3, wonderful news on the healing and the new interest.

I find that I am more compassionate after those types of experiences, however the image above would be too mentally painful to look at if I was too close to the afterglow of pharma/aya. Negativity and pain are two things I just seem to need to steer clear of for a small bit after. Like your walls that protect you from the realizations of the daily are just gone and need time to build again.

Very nice written Metashaman . The mental clarity i get from Pharma, again and again, is incredible. I am able to examine things and situations under a prism of deep observation. It really feels like unlocking potentials i did not i had. In so many ways i feel healed, my mind operating flowlessly.

I think there is no other "option" than feeling really bad feelings at first on the process of "cleaning your house" as you put it. It comes naturally when dealing with perspectives and beliefs that in essence poison our minds. First comes this, then comes salvation.

Examining this wonderful experience later, i made a mental connection of the part where i was crying uncontrollably over this picture i posted. I don't know if you have seen a movie called Fight Club. In the beginning of the movie, the protagonist is looking for a way to combat his severe insomnia. At first he goes to a hospital asking for sleeping pills and the doctor there denies to give them to him. The protagonist says he is in deep pain because of the insomnia and the doctor tells him that if he wants to see real pain he should visit therapy groups such as Cancers Anonymous. When he does visit those groups and experiences first hand real pain and agony of those people, his insomnia goes away and not only that, he feels getting in touch with real emotions.

In a way those emotions i felt were a catalyst for bringing my heart back in so many ways, because for years i was dead with apathy inside and i understood it fully these days.

Hope everything goes in deep healing ways in your exploration of this incredible medicine . It went wonderfully well with the girl, i saw her after all and what can i say....

Namaste

Just want to update. I did not have a full experience since the one i talked about. But i have been full Mao inhibitioned since that day, consuming 4 grams of Syrian Rue+20 mg DMT and then after a few hours, taking 1-1,5 gram Syrian Rue extra+15 mg DMT. I have been doing this for 2 weeks in a row now.

My life has changed since that experience. I laugh a lot more, meet new people every day, hitting on girls like i have never done before. I feel my mind working at the peak of its performance almost every hour of the day.

And sex while on a low dose of Pharma. Wow!! I have the most amazing sex of my life. It's like i can feel the sexual energy of the girl while i am inside her, while licking her. Amazing sex, amazing sensuality and sexuality in general.

I don't do other drugs, i eat mostly vegetables and fruits and i feel healthier than ever. I feel it calling me again for a full experience, perhaps i will have one these days.

i enjoyed reading this.

one thing that came to my mind:
though i am very new to the realms of psycedelics myself, i found it to be true that dmt has the power to soften the psyche, allowing it to reshape and heal.
however, this is not without dangers. walking around in the every day world when tripping on dmt comes at a great danger.

i feel this diagram: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...ers/house/DMTDiagram.png sums up the dos and donts very beautiful.

Thank you... I have tried every other psychedelic extensively in therapeutic context. No other medicine has done what Pharma has done for me. I literally feel healed. Yes i know what you mean about "softening the psyche".

I have become more sensitive to positive and negative stimuli. For me it's not bad because my baseline is that of apathy. I prefer crying that being emotionally numb. But generally i live a life of good quality for my personal standards so laughter is the one that prevails .

I don't have a job in the regular way, with routine schedules and superiors. I don't know how it would work, taking even very low doses of Pharma every day. I work as a freelancer translator mainly so i don't have these kind of "problems", essentially being more free to try it without second thoughts.

I am well aware of the dangers. I have studied the Faq of the Nexus among other things thoroughly. I am in a state of observation daily and so far there were very few moments where something felt off. Hell, i feel off often on my baseline. In the moment i understand that the negatives outweigh the benefits and i am way off my every day "achievements" that contribute to my well being (family, friends, job, working out etc), my approach will be changed.

Tell you what, i am under the impression that my biochemistry consists of an overactive MAO system. Not once have i felt dizziness or anything from Harmalas with big doses and i have not observed any kind of build-up after 3 (not 2, i was a little bit off my calculations) weeks of daily full MAO inhibition. Essentially i take the same dose of Harmalas+DMT since i started it in that context.

What dosage of Harmalas are you taking? Moderate to high/heavy dosages will build up a reverse tolerance so if you keep taking the same dosage it'll get stronger and stronger so you can back the dosage down bit by bit as you go along for consistent effects, but it also gets cleaner the more regularly the dose is consumed and the side-effect profile will clean up, but if you're taking a lower dosage, ime, low dosages don't seem to build up the reverse tolerance, maybe it can and it just takes longer but i've hardly worked with lower dosages of Harmalas, usually take moderate to high dosages.

I take the full dose for MAO inhibition, about 4 grams of Syrian Rue. Then a few hours later i may supplement with 1-2 grams+~10-20 mg DMT. I observe the dosage protocol as carefully as i can and i have not noticed reverse tolerance. Yeah, i feel it pretty clean, as i have said i feel like i am in the peak of mental performance almost all the time. What is a moderate-high dosage for you?