Greetings fellow Nexians! Just as a fore warning I have never written a trip report before and am a bit anxious about doing so. It can be so hard to perfectly recollect. So please, bare with me and I hope you enjoy the tale. I would really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read the whole thing. I really need some people to talk to about all this. So sorry for the wall of text but I gotta get it all out.



I'm going to link my Intro essay because it will give some context as to who I am and a little background on my journey. Read a bit of history and how I ended up here. that way I can just dive right into my tale and save some text space.

It was summer June 2017 and I was attending a music festival. All of this occurs throughout the three days of the fest. I also feel it important to note that I had also taken an unknown but small amount of MDMA earlier in the evening. Onto the story!


Uhh, You're not an Alien are you? Part One

On the first night I was in a sort of shack that people usually gather in to chat, smoke, do tricks or just pass through. I had been in there for a very long time juggling for people, making idle chat and just having a great time. Eventually I had gotten tired and sat down on a little stool and at the same time these two guys came and say next to me. I don't know if you're familiar with the movie of Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy but these guys had the same alien vibe that Mos Def has in that movie. A weird speech dialect that I've never quite heard before, I could imagine them saying "This is human speech yes?".

He was extremely direct in asking me if I have ever or would ever be interested in smoking DMT. If you read my intro essay I go into the fact that I had been waiting almost 11 years for the substance to find me particularly (Let me just say in any other situation, I don't know, I don't think i would recommend accepting this sort of offer from a stranger at a music festival. Gut instincts are a thing though and everything about this just felt 100% right) and I believed this to be that moment.

I told him my history, about how 10 years ago I basically maxed out the amount of research I could do on this substance without having any hands on experience to match and was sort of at a stand still. We talked extraction and I told him some of my personal fears. That is also touched up on in my intro essay, essentially that smoking DMT would kill my dreaming ability. Boy was that wrong. After swapping tales of our dreams he basically cut me off, asked for a bowl and said "I'm going to give you a gift" I gave him my bowl and he packed me a mixture of DMT and marijuana, like, layers.

He sort of coaches me on how to smoke it and he made it very clear to me that allowing the open flame to come into contact with the spice itself was sacrilegious and it would effect the trip in ways he does not wish for me. The whole time I just wanted to ask, "Uhh, you're not an alien are you?" jokingly of course and I Didn't. He hands me the bowl and I look to the right at my friend who attended the event with me. I show him the bowl and ask if he wants to partake and he said no which was fine. I look back to the left to thank the guy who gave it to me and his friend and they were just gone. No trace. Had to have been like 10 seconds for me look over, tell my buddy "Hey i got some DMT want a hit?" for him to say "No thanks" and to look back.

I remember this intense feeling of sort of being in a tornado, immense feelings of "what the heck is happening right now" then to be left alone essentially with this fully packed bowl of DMT after the storm cleared and all was calm. "Man those dudes were weird, why'd they have to go and disappear like that?" I thought. I guess the only thing left to do was smoke the thing and see what all the hub-bub is all about. For science!


The sea of Human paper and an exploration of my chakras Part Two

I raise the pipe and take my first hit while still inside the shack, not the hottest idea. I very quickly realize I want out of the shack so I made my exit. Feeling very buzzed and animated I started walking towards a stage that was more out in the open with some nice trees. On the way I raise the pipe and take another nice pull, holding it in as I walk. I come to a sort of bottleneck where a crowd that has just released from the stage I am trying to get to is coming from and I had no choice but to either dive off to the side, or brave through the sea of human paper. I say paper because at this point I am the only 3D being in a sea of 2D human pieces of paper. Its hard to explain but I could only see 2 dimensional aspects of everyone in front of me, if they would turn they would disappear into thin lines. It was intense. That is about the best I can do to explain that

As a result of this I swear I was able to, like a clutch game of operation, flawlessly navigate through this crowd and make it to the other side. My buddy who was following me sort of backs this up because I like blazed past him, I guess it was pretty funny to see. Anyway I get to the other side and I pretty much realize that if I take another hit, that's all she wrote, I'm blasting off and for this I can't be walking around. I honestly don't know how I did that and its another thing I really don't recommend doing. When you smoke the spice, just sit, or lie down, don't walk half a mile through a sea of people like a dummy.

I found a very inviting Willow tree (My second favorite tree right under the lovely Birch) and gave it a good ol' sit, right at its base. I have about 2 years yoga practice experience so i figured what the heck, lets do this right so I prep a blanket on the ground and a good cross legged position, make sure I am nice and grounded, took a sip of water and took a very cleansing inhale and a nice detoxifying exhale and raised the pipe for my third hit. With eyes closed the bowl cashes and I hold the remaining hit while placing the pipe safely on the ground. Immediately behind closed eyes I see a vast nothingness, a completely grey and fuzzy background. It felt like T.V static I suppose, In the dead center of it all were my chakras, all black, mangled, misaligned and just... so sickly looking. Imagine a wood block puzzle and all its pieces being just slightly out of line or upside down/backwards preventing them from being able to be set in place. One by one I watched as some sort of foreign energy that I could not see fixed my chakras. They rotated, spun, flipped and set themselves back into their proper sockets I guess you could say. At the same time as this is happening, I am still growing into my cross legged position. Rolling up through my spine, allowing it to be flush with the surface of the willow tree, making sure I am supported. It felt as though the same energetic body that was performing the tune up on my chakras was also pulling me up directly from the crown chakra making sure I was in the best position I could be in. I didn't feel like I had much control over anything at this point so i stopped trying to do anything other than observe. As soon as my crown chakra had finished its alignment and locked itself into socket I blasted off.


The Digital Deity. Part Three

Vaulting down a tunnel of pure white light I notice some funky stuff going on in my peripherals, thankfully all those 10 years ago, all that research I did, comes into play. A voice in my head was reminding me not to pay attention to all that peripheral noise, that's where the jesters and the elves and all the nonsensical confusing stuff lies, Focus on the Center, Focus on the light I had an extremely easy time focusing on the center and eventually I did reach the end. I essentially crashed into it at a million miles per hour, a wall of the purest white light and... nothing. No visuals, just peace and deep vibrations.

It wasn't too long until I was greeted by who'm I've come to address as "my" or "the" "Digital deity". "My" only because sometimes I feel like I am the deity, that we are all "the deity" and it was only showing me this in a way that i could comprehend through something of a mother like figure. This is where I can fall of the tracks easily so bare with me please. "The" because I do also feel like that was not me, that it was something that truly resides somewhere out there in another infinate universe chocked full of all sorts of universal power "Refer to my signature, Tesla was the man" Was this "The core?"

Anyway back on track, Just like an etch-a-sketch this line doodle starts forming the shape of a very beautiful detailed woman, long luxiourious hair, lovely eyes and well formed lips too. She was very attractive not in a sexual way at all and very comforting. The lines were all black against this stark white background however the black lines FELT, like the color green, if that makes ANY sense. At this point I was not afraid but more or less in awe. The only thing I could do was "return to the breath" a common practice in my at home yoga ventures. As I reconnect with my breath and take a nice juicy inhale the Digital deity perks up and its as if me breathing has made her happy. Happy enough to acknowledge me and communicate with me through means of thought.

Now this is not the exact conversation that ensued but I promise you it is as close as it will get and still drives the point home.

As I reach the peak of my first connected inhale.

"Oh that is nice! I like that, May I show you something? Take an exhale"

I start releasing a very connected and slow exhale

"Very good! That is correct! You're doing good!"

Now backing up, as I am releasing this inhale, all of time is stopping around me, I can't see it, but I can hear it. All of the music, the idle chat, all the noise of a music festival would slowly slowly slowly come to a stop until I reached the end of my exhale. Time had completely stopped, there was no longer any noise coming from anywhere.

"That is great, now go ahead and inhale"

Time would speed back up. We did this back and forth a good 5-6 times. Every once and awhile I would be taking an inhale or an exhale and my thoughts would start to drift. I would start thinking about

"NO! You are getting distracted" she would cut my thought off "Now refocus on the breath!" And time would continue to either speed up or completely slow to a stop.

I don't know how long this went on, me controlling my sense of time while she either told me I was doing it correctly or I was doing it incorrectly. Never was she upset or demeaning, It was just so comforting the whole experience. I remember having the biggest smile on my face. I probably looked like a doofus on the outside while inside my head I am like "I AM A POWERFUL TIME MAGE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

At some point I decided that I wanted to open the eyes a bit and see what was going on around me, how would the visuals be I wondered. I also felt like if I opened my eyes I would ruin our connection but I needed to. Everything looked about as normal as it could, maybe a little cartooney if anything but not enough to keep me so I decided to sit up tall again, close my eyes and try to make that connection again. Sure bet, the whole thing started over again minus the whole Chakra attunement. I shot down the tunnel, ignoring the peripherals, crashed into a huge wall of light and watched as the Digital Deity formed herself again.

This time however things were different and she was very disappointed in me.

"You broke concentration. There is nothing left that I can do for you. You are welcome to come back and I await your visit but for now, your trip is over"

and just like a snap of her non existent fingers the trip was indeed over, left with pure sobriety.


Pick up your pieces you fool!. Part Four

I gathered my things and tried not to seem too shook up, I kind of was though, like what the heck was that? Now it's just... over? Okay? i proceed to walk around the festival just observing everything, breathing and just being. I felt extremely displaced, like all these pieces of me just got scattered everywhere and I was screaming at myself "Pick up your pieces you fool!". I couldn't make sense of anything I was feeling emotionally. At some point I realized that I, a 10 year smoker of almost a pack a day hadn't had a cigarette since my trip (It had been almost 3 hours). Now that at the time is an extreme feat for me, ESPECIALLY being at a music festival where it seems the average joe smokes about double the amount he/she would normally at home. It was at this moment of realization that I heard a voice, the same of the Digital Deity and it said (I know this is a clean zone and I will keep it clean but she did say the F-word)


"You don't need nicotine!? You're a F-ing God" not in an egotistical way either, like a liberating way, a way that proved to me a self worth I hadn't known existed.

And just like that, just like the snap of the fingers earlier, my nicotine addiction was gone. Completely eradicated from my brain, Like deleting a program off of your computer. Gone. At this point it would be a choice of re-installing the program, if i wanted to. I could feel the free choice. Now on top of feeling generally displaced emotionally, trying to gather all of my mental pieces back together I am left trying to figure out How in the heck can something be so powerful as to just come in and basically overwrite a 10 year nicotine addiction in a matter of what... 15 minutes? TOPS?

I eventually end up back at camp and proceed to knock out. Hard. I got to experience what it was like to not even have to think about cigarettes for about 3 days until I stupidly decided to dive back into the bad habit. I've since then given it up for good.

And now I am here, at the Nexus. Part Five


Its been almost a year now and now I am here, I did smoke again after that trip for a couple months until I did a 3 day juice cleanse and fast. The cleanse and fast was also very pivotal. When I had smoked DMT I was having all of those odd displacement feelings. Everything even myself felt so foregn. Well after my cleanse I was having all of those same feelings, The cleanse basically dragged me right back into the same mentality I had after my DMT trip except this time it all made sense.

IT WAS LOVE! the whole time I just didn't know it.

What I was feeling after my DMT trip was a self love that I only lied to myself about ever feeling. My whole life I thought I loved myself but... I hated myself. I built up these walls from childhood that convinced me that I had been doing what is best for me. When in actuality I stuck myself into the center of a self destructive cycle of bad habits and really just treating myself like crap. I suppose all that is topic for another post. Part of the integration. What we do with the information given afterwards is just as important a part as anything.

After realizing what that feeling was, and being lucky enough to fall back into that mentality with the cleanse/fast my life has never been the same. I don't smoke cigarettes anymore and for whatever reason after being against veganism my entire life I decided it would be best for me to at least try the diet out. Since the diet change all the pain I had been going through in other areas of my body have stopped hurting.

Ill start winding down the story as it has basically come to an end. I have ended up here, seeking like minded individuals to intellectually discuss my experience and other experiences. I feel like I owe my life to the magical substance we call DMT. I don't think it changed my life like switching a light switch but it definitely showed me that i had all the tools necessary to love myself and to truly treat myself the way i deserve to be treated . My life will never be the same and I would never look back. So thank you DMT.

I still cant help but to think of those two guys who gave the bowl to me, Is this the trip he wanted me to have? How can we decided when to give people experiences like that? I mean the power.... woof. It's all so much to think about. I want to thank him so much.


The End

I've decided that I really would like to take another adventure into hyperspace but in order for that to happen I will need to make my own, which is for the best. I truly can't wait to try out some teks for myself and deepen my connection with the spice. In the future I will most certainly be jumping on board with growing our own entheogens, I'm hoping soon enough I'll have a nice seed collection of all sorts of good plants. But for now I will have to find other means unfortunately. Hopefully soon enough when I have my own means for space travel you will hear more things from me, I truly can't wait to explore. I sort of feel like with this experience under my belt, maybe next time i WILL stop and visit those peripheral gnomes, or seek out a jester for myself. Who knows?

Thank you all who decide to stick around and read this absurd wall of text, it means the WORLD to me. If you have any questions about my background or if you think my writing is horrible please feel free to ask or tell me in the comments. I am a very open person and I just really hope my experience is able to help someone else in the future. I know I've already found some comfort in reading some of the other experiences here.

Once again thank you all, I love you all and I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the night/week/month/year/decade

Good write up. I enjoyed it!

Welcome to the nexus, Peverly,

and thank you, for sharing your story! What a beautiful introduction into hyperspace.

tseuq

An excellent write up, thank you for sharing.

I have a couple of things I'd like to highlight that resonated with me.
Your encounter with the deity, and the fact that you felt uncertain about whether she was apart of you or something entirely external feels very familiar to my first ayahuasca ceremony. I'd formed a strong belief that any entities that could be encountered through psychedelics were derivatives of the brain itself, and nothing more, but my recent trip completely shattered that possibility for me.

Secondly, your sudden loss of nicotine addiction. For my aya ceremony I had to give up coffee for a week, which is a big deal for me as a daily drinker, and lover of fine coffee. I had every intention of smashing a double espresso as soon as I got home the next day, but I honestly didn't feel like it, and 2 weeks later, I am drinking it, but I'm non-dependent on the stuff. It was almost like I just didn't want to touch anything that might mess with my zen mindstate. Also, now that I am back drinking it, I don't enjoy it as much, nor do I get much of a kick from it anymore. That is something I neither expected nor intended to happen.

Thank you deeply for taking the time to read, it really means the world to me. I am so glad to have wound up here and I look forward to awesome conversations in the future



I would definitely be interested in hearing what happened during your aya trip some time. Might prove insightful. I still go back and forth on that subject. Human beings are extremely powerful, this i know so I don't like to doubt the mental abilities that we have that may be dormant, so to speak. However this whole "We are all gods" thing goes directly against the teachings of the book I'm reading titled "Raja Yoga or Mental Development" which states how far us humans are willing to go before letting our ego's die to actually consider ourselves gods. If that makes any sense. Perhaps a whole separate subject here. The separation of our True selves, the "I" from our Ego's.



Yes and i suppose that is exactly what I mean when I say at this point it would be like re-installing software to a computer. I've uninstalled the Addiction.EXE however, I still possess the CD rom and have in in my desk. My friend got worried because he saw me partake in a spliff this past weekend which consisted of me taking 3 very lack luster puffs. He sent me a text stating how worried he is that I may fall back into the habit of an everyday smoker. However I do not share the same fear because I am simply non-dependent. You will never catch me giving a gas station or any other clown $8 for a pack of chemical ridden tobacco. As for coffee, it is the same. I can drink a cup a day for a week, or go no caffeine, or replace with tea for a week and its all the same to me, it just doesn't matter.

Now that isn't to say we are impervious to addictive habits, I think we need to be just as careful proceeding forward into the future. Or at least that's how I feel about it.

Anyway, with much love, thank you all for reading my long ass report. Please feel free to ask more questions.

-P.Compton

Awesome post. It's always nice when you can bring that much back with you that it has profound, unintentional, and immediate effects related to improving your life.

Great post.

I am new here and am yet to have an experience quite like yours, but I have managed to successfully extract DMT so if you would like some advice then give me a shout.

Feel free to check out my trip report here, it's equally as long as yours


The uninstallation but holding the CDROM is a great analogy.
And yes I do feel like I could also slip back into addiction at a future vulnerable point in my life if I don't check myself. I think that is a human thing, our hormones can cause very short sighted decisions. But now, as a result of my aya experience, I feel I have a greater awareness of potential triggers.

Good luck with your future DMT encounters, I thoroughly look forward to hearing more about your journey.