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tseuq
#1 Posted : 10/31/2017 12:14:07 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 673
Joined: 18-Jan-2015
Last visit: 06-Dec-2023


PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: relaxed
(physical condition) Set: awake and relaxed
Setting (location): bedroom
time of day: around 9pm at night in darkness
recent drug use: THC
last meal: tasty vegan stuff approx. 1,5hrs before

PARTICIPANT
Gender: biological male
body weight: I guess something around 70kg
known sensitivities: none
history of use: experienced

BIOASSAY

Substance(s): n,n-dmt changa (1:1:0.25)
Dose(s): 90mg & 30mg
Method of administration: carefully smoked in a small bong


AFTER-EFFECTS

Hangover 0-4: 0
Afterglow0-4: 3


REPORT

Lately, I mainly focused my attention on the exploration of 5-meo and after some weeks being busy with other topics, I took this weekend off and went again on some adventurous travels with n,n-dmt (changa - 1:1:0.25).
Here are some impressions of my latest session, which took place sunday night…

I didn’t actually plan to do another dmt session this weekend because the one on friday night was already pretty intense and lasting. Unhindered from that, a joy to go for another journey just arised in one moment at sunday night and I took my chance to surf the wave again.

I started to prepare myself and the room in which I planned to blast off. That means, I went to the toilet, refilled the water, prepared the bong with 90mg of changa blend and set up the changa container for a possible reload, the loaded bong, the drinking water and a candle next to the bed, closed the curtains and turned on a silent overtone voice music.


After many previous changa sessions, where I just filled the head of the bong with roughly eyeballed amounts of changa, I started to measure the doses again. This allows a much better understanding of dose and effect relation.
With just the candle light in the backround burning, I took the bong and prepared myself to blast off. Back in the days I often found myself busy at this stage, with a process which I call „overthinking“, it is a lousy attempt to reduce the pre-flight arousal. Now, I know that there is nothing I can really prepare myself for more than just being present, focused but not fixated, and embrace the unfolding. So, my mindset was nothing more special than in „daily life“.

I slowly heated up and smoked the changa, hold in each breath and needed three hits to finish it. Everything was already fuzzing and shaking when I put the bong aside, put out the candle and covered myself with the blanket. Then I was gone…

I immedately broke through, dissolved in pure light, realized being god, nothing and all, and suddenly found myself being busy by being entangled through different dimensions. Lightyears away from earth and I am unable to tell where and what I exactly did there, but I was totally immersed and committed in the ongoing, in a state of „no-mind“, with no „self“ which creates an illusion of observation and separation. At this stage there was no idea, about myself (ego) and life at all, left.

In some „visions“ in previous trips and also in this one, I got the slight impression that I am working on f.e. the mechanics of this possible life simulation and that my breakthroughs are planned from the „otherside“, that I have to break through. I am the entrance and exit to my life, the creator, coming back „home“ to do what have to be done… even if it is just realizing being „god“ …those are some funny ideas.

While (sleeping ego) becoming aware of that something is happening, this was when the ego slowly creeped back and tried to understand what is going on, I firstly got the impression that I did something wrong, because I felt that I am slowly leaving this „state“. Then I understood that my time to return has come, the „portal is closing“ (the level of dmt in my brain decreased?) and I was slowly slipping back in my human suit, back to this indescribably loving and beloved life, which is all my creation.
I slowly became aware of being back in my room, by recognizing the silent music playing along in the backround, and happily watched how my ego structure built itself up again and different possibilties to reorganize my ego showed up. I found myself with the question after my intention, how to go on living. I am god, but who bothers, what I enjoy most is letting go of it all and dissolve in …

PURE LOVE, till f**** eternity and far beyond, infinite energy.

Fully energized, senseless processing and desperately trying to make sense of what just happend, this is all so much fun, I enjoyed a smooth landing from this transpersonal experience.

"Surrender in love, is now."

Around 27min later, I started to measure the duration of single trips and whole sessions for my sientific intereset, I found myself almost fully back, left with the indelible memory of this beautiful entheogen experience. During the landing phase I thought of hitting the bong another time with a similar or even a higher dose but I felt exhausted and wanted to come to an end in this session. So I decided to take a last 30mg bong hit as a nice closing.

I prepared the bong, finished it slowly in one huge hit, put out the candle again while holding in my breath and laid back down in bed. I immediatly got the impression, that this hit doesn’t take me as far as the previous one nor to a breakthrough and I started to compare and rate the potency of it. When I realized that I should „shut the fuck up“, what meant switching my focus of attention away from my thoughts towards the experience, and open myself to the unfolding instead, the doors opend up even more and soaked me in.

I was laying on my bed, unconsciously conscious „babbling“ and letting my unconsciousness unfold, till I found myself visionarily causing pain to my girlfriend. When realizing (ego - evaluation) what I was experiencing and doing, I felt a resistance, that I do not want this. I intuitional understood that I have to accept it, reagardless of what it might be or can be. This is all projection and can be interpreted and transfered onto so many levels, like intra- & interpersonal, micro & macro, conceptual, philosophical, an so on. F.e. What is pain? How is pain different from any other sensation? What role plays intention behind my actions, what is my intention? Where does the concept of good-bad makes any sense in this topic? What am I doing to myself an others? …
The definition of good – bad is a concept which is only funtcional in a specific context, f.e. in terms of evaluating different coping strategien, but not f.e. in terms of feeling bad because of an identification with an illusory selfimage spiked with superfluous morality of being a bad person, what ever that means.

Most important, by allowing myself to freely feel and experience all of this and what just happened, I instantly felt a release from the slowly building up tension and wired feeling, which were a result of my resistance prompted by my ego-structure. I experienced my love(light) penetrating and dissolving it all. Connectivity, warmth, trust, laughter, creativity, peace, happiness, .. it is all here in every now and I am happily swimming in the crystal clear river of love. I am the fish, the river and nothing at all.

Compared to the previous travel, I found the second experience interesting and more relating to my „life here on earth“ and I had the impression, that this integration work felt really beneficial. Like another small developental step in a frame of wholeness. Evolution as an ever ongoing change in the presence, what I call life, in an ever being wholness. One.

So all in all it was another fun session and after this „long“ break with n,n-dmt, I was remembered why I f***** love this stuff so much. All these visions, dimensions, entities, godrealisation … beautifully crazy. By the way, I start my specialist lecture, for professional development for psychatric and psychotherapeutic colleagues, in the end of this year and it puts a big smile on my face, that I find so much of the content of my work inspired by my own psychonautic activities since the beginning on. By the way, when did this psychedelic experience start? With my "birth"? .. hilarious.

To summerize the important info of this trip, make tee and keep on playing (spending time) with your kids.

All the best, tseuq Love
Everything's sooo peyote-ful..
 

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Sunnyside
#2 Posted : 10/31/2017 4:38:50 PM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 388
Joined: 28-Jun-2015
Last visit: 09-Feb-2024
tseuq wrote:


sunnyside is on board with this part
PURE LOVE, till f**** eternity and far beyond, infinite energy.

Fully energized, senseless processing and desperately trying to make sense of what just happend, this is all so much fun, I enjoyed a smooth landing from this transpersonal experience.

"Surrender in love, is now."

Around 27min later, I started to measure the duration of single trips and whole sessions for my sientific intereset, I found myself almost fully back, left with the indelible memory of this beautiful entheogen experience. During the landing phase I thought of hitting the bong another time with a similar or even a higher dose but I felt exhausted and wanted to come to an end in this session. So I decided to take a last 30mg bong hit as a nice closing.

I prepared the bong, finished it slowly in one huge hit, put out the candle again while holding in my breath and laid back down in bed. I immediatly got the impression, that this hit doesn’t take me as far as the previous one nor to a breakthrough and I started to compare and rate the potency of it.

sunnyside been here. alot:When I realized that I should „shut the fuck up“, what meant switching my focus of attention away from my thoughts towards the experience, and open myself to the unfolding instead, the doors opend up even more and soaked me in.

Most important, by allowing myself to freely feel and experience all of this and what just happened, I instantly felt a release from the slowly building up tension and wired feeling, which were a result of my resistance prompted by my ego-structure. I experienced my love(light) penetrating and dissolving it all. Connectivity, warmth, trust, laughter, creativity, peace, happiness, .. it is all here in every now and I am happily swimming in the crystal clear river of love. I am the fish, the river and nothing at all.

sunnyside agrees again:
Compared to the previous travel, I found the second experience interesting and more relating to my „life here on earth“ and I had the impression, that this integration work felt really beneficial. Like another small developental step in a frame of wholeness. Evolution as an ever ongoing change in the presence, what I call life, in an ever being wholness. One.

So all in all it was another fun session and after this „long“ break with n,n-dmt, I was remembered why I f***** love this stuff so much. All these visions, dimensions, entities, godrealisation … beautifully crazy. By the way, I start my specialist lecture, for professional development for psychatric and psychotherapeutic colleagues, in the end of this year and it puts a big smile on my face, that I find so much of the content of my work inspired by my own psychonautic activities since the beginning on. By the way, when did this psychedelic experience start? With my "birth"? .. hilarious.

To summerize the important info of this trip, make tee and keep on playing (spending time) with your kids.

All the best, tseuq Love


You folks that are able to enunciate your experiences, it really enriches my world.
I just grabbed a few things out of your notes because they really hit home, for me.
And I'm so inadequate to try to say some of the things you say so readily, I can't even verbalize to myself, let alone to my wife my close friends to you folks to anybody.

In another post - this very today - in this post: https://www.dmt-nexus.me...amp;m=842141#post842141, the honorable Senior Nexian Tatt lays out some good words, just like you are here. I'm not going to post this same thing over there, but I'm thankful for that post, as well.

So, yeah. Thanks. Of all the incredibly wonderful things the nexus brings to my life, words like yours are at the top of that list.

Yeah, and while I'm getting all mushy here... this thing about trying to thank people. You folks give so much, and there's no way anybody could ever thank you for it... Human generosity can be so remarkable...
" Enjoy every sandwich." - Warren Zevon
"No, they never did turn me into a toad." - Pete (O Brother, Where Art Thou?)
"Are you a time traveller?" "No, I think I'm more of a time prisoner." - Nadia Vulvokov (Russian Doll)
 
tseuq
#3 Posted : 11/1/2017 6:54:27 AM

DMT-Nexus member


Posts: 673
Joined: 18-Jan-2015
Last visit: 06-Dec-2023
Thank you, sunnyside. I appreciate your kind words. Pleased

tseuq
Everything's sooo peyote-ful..
 
 
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