Hi all,
Here is my first post, and it's about an experience from my first Ayahuasca ceremony that took place two days ago. The curandera told me it's not only allowed to share the experience, but recommended for better integration.
Even though it's my first Ayahuasca experience, I have a lot of experience with the mushrooms (but without a shaman). And for years, I used to have a demon problem in my trips and in everyday life.
In everyday life, it was a sense of some "shadow" in my left eye, hard to describe. Nothing really psychotic, just a little paranoia. That shadow kind of activated worst sides of me in the most crucial moments. Still, I remained sane, but could make regrettable decisions.
In mushroom trips, it was a classic possession problem. It happened not every time and only in heavy trips. I've been struggling to make him go away or kill him or cure him or whatever can be done to stop this.
Even considered giving up tripping, can you believe that?
And you guessed it, during the Ayahuasca ceremony I saw the demon again. And I was like "Oh great, it's you". Over time, I learned to take things with humor even during difficult experiences, only if it's not a total terror. So, I prepared for another portion of paranoia, but suddenly I looked at the demon with absolutely no fear and told him:
- You are a medicine that God sent to me so I learn what is light and what is darkness.
After that, my old friend asked permission to leave. I gave it and suddenly vomited.
When the ceremony ended, I was going to ask the curandera if the demon really wouldn't bother me again, but I realised it doesn't matter. The demon turned out to be a teacher who's been training my spirit, creating possibilities for growth. Maybe now I'm ready to use other opportunities. And if he'll return some day, this will only mean I still need him for something.
Not gonna miss this guy anyway, haha!